everlong // joining

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    Disgusting, the smell of drying blood poked at his nose. The sharp rocks he had been walking on for what felt like hours had pierced many paws before he had set foot here. Not many, the blood was old, and could belong to any number of feral or intelligent creature. The smell could just be wafting from his own beaten feet. He wondered just how many people had made this insufferable trek to a new home. Raphael was never one for hiking, he preferred the soft feeling of dirt and grass. The smell of rain, nature. This wasn't nature, this was a cruel joke played on mortals by whatever omnipotent power created this world.

    This land was not made to support life, yet life persisted. Stubborn creatures always trying to climb to the top, whether it be for power, safety, family. Everyone has a drive in life, that's the rules. What drove Raphael to climb this cliff, was it the promise of a community at the top, was it the possibility of clean drinking water. Was it the slim chance that something from his old life might remain in whatever ruins of a clan he might find. No, it wasn't anything powered by greed or desperation; Raphael could make his home in the trees and be contempt. No political organization, a risk of no food the next day. What he craved was talking to others, communication. He craved validation for his practices in the arts, and punishment for when he acted like a heartless snob.

    Raphael dreaded the idea of starting anew still, however much he loved the idea of seeing a friendly face. He hated the thought of another undeserving being judging him. However much Raph tried to be a pleasant person, exciting and bubbly. It always boiled down to people getting bored of his try-hard attitude. Begging on hands and knees for some acknowledgement of existing and doing a good job.

    The pale cat looked up at the sky, at the clouds and the birds. Chirping to each other without a care in the world. The air was so crisp, the good cool feeling when you breathed in, like a soft autumn afternoon. He looked back, at the rolling hills, the place he would have to bare teeth and call home. Raphael knew what he was looking for, not a who, or a where. The other gypsies like himself never really were much into the politics of clan life, if you could consider titles that fanciful.







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    and you're kissing to cut through the gloom

    with a cough-drop-coloured tongue — tags

    the male had been born from a happy home, so that was all he knew. he should have grown up by now, at least a little bit- his cheer should have eventually faded, imagination taken by reality. but his personality had not dimmed like his family had wanted nor had he matured. he could grow as a person, of course, but that was different. he was not lost in intelligence like they feared, just... perhaps in the ability to age mentally. as it was, his desires did not change much, either. what he yearned for he always reached out and attempted to snatch, out of stubbornness and child like wonder than anything else. the being in question, of course, was happening to wander by when he noticed someone strange. they didn't look familiar- a vague thought of if they wanted food or not entered his mind, followed by his own answer of who didn't like food? he distracted himself and almost ran into the sharp rocks, unnaturally staggering back. he couldn't touch those without bringing immense pain to himself, therefore his solution was to wave raph cheerfully over, thoughts of stranger danger never occuring to him. "hey you, come here!" if it looked like he was freaking out, he was merely flagging a paw up and down in good nature. "are your paws aight? it's kinda sharp- im lavenderwish or just lav. you want some juice"





    His daydreaming was cut short, a voice, he was only thankful it didn't sound mean spirited. The tabby scrounged together the last of his strength to leap the rest of his small climb, his bad leg making a popping noise as he landed. It did't hurt, but it was the first noise to come out of Raphael since this stranger arrived.

    He seemed rather dumbstruck for a moment, staring at his peer with dumb wonder. Another feline without a doubt, but the spots were unlike he had seen, almost like a star speckled sky. The other was further than he initially thought, and took a few painful seconds to walk his way over. He couldn't tell how close he should get, the waving seemed painfully close to a potential slap or smack to his nose.

    The serval talked again, fog in and out of Raph's bat like ears. He blinked, thinking very intensely. He probably looked like a psychopath, the last social contact he had was from his den neighbour Todd, goddamn fucking Todd.

    "My paws, they uh- Oh yes, they're fine!" He sounded like a sputtering fool, the tom lifted a paw, as if to look at it. Gazing into the nicks and scratches, a palm reader would have a field day with all the wrinkles and crevices. Raphael held it out, showing his noble injuries. Hopefully the other wouldn't think him weak for not being able to manage a short ten mile walk.

    "Juice sounds cool, I'd like some, I think." He paused, "Unless it's orange or blue, I 'on't really know what fruit is blue but I wouldn't drink it." It felt so good to talk.





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    stubborn? perhaps that was the only word that somehow described and summed them up all in one. every living thing here was stubborn in some way - whether that be the plants that chose to grow within the rather poor soil or the trees that clung to the edges of the rock...or perhaps that prey that chose to scrape up resources where they were and whatnot. but what was stubborn more than all of those were the sentient creatures that resided here. stubborn in mind, stubborn in actions. it was....just somehow all a factor within them. like tena, for example...she was fierce and would do absolutely anything if it meant freedom and doing what was right. and then imperia, who was stubborn in her intuition -- and rightfully so. there was perry ( or esu, or whatever his friend had turned to now ), too, who continued to go through life, refusing to give up despite the pain and struggles it brought. then there was silentvoice which...despite recent events came through and was pushing past the trauma of the entire situation with deathstroke in which unspeakable things had been done ( which, by the way, he was going to get onto quite soon ). and there were many others, himself among them, that had withstood pressures and storms of situations like no other....and how were they capable of rising again? the truth was, it was the stubbornness the lingered within their hearts that sang we will not be beaten. we will not give up. and that song? it was within every single thing that lived here. so stubborn? indeed they were.


    the driving force of life was...not as simple as most would assume. not for koday, at least. the direwolf lived and breathed for his friends, for his clan....and they were a driving force undoubtedly. but there were possible too many things that kept him busy and wanting to continue. he wanted to do a good job by his peers, he wanted to do a good job for himself, too. and he wanted to prove those that doubted him wrong, and do so many other things. so was it as simple as one thing? no, and he doubted it was that way for anyone....but if he were being honest right now, the only reason and driving force for why he was out of bed was because of the fact that he knew he needed to get things done. did he want to? not right now, no....he was exhausted on every level....but that's where that driving force came from, hmm?


    a rather noisy yawn sounded from not too far away as the dark hued wolf walked rather groggily through the territory, traveling at a much slower pace than his usual upbeat one. was he half asleep? kind of, yeah...but, he was determined to get around the territory and make sure everything was okay and that he wasn't letting things get too crazy or out of hand ( though, he honestly doubted that anyone here would do anything that would be considered 'crazy' at the moment, anyways ). and it was through his travels through the rather sharp-edged territory that the prince's ears caught sound of lavenderwish -- full of energy like always -- shouting for someone to come over. half of kodes felt the urge to simply shrug it off...but the other part of him said that maybe just...being near the youthful dude would help spike his energy levels. and with that in mind and with high hopes, he let out a huff and made his way to where the yelling was. but as the large canine came to approach, he was greeted by the face of a stranger -- the one that lavenderwish was apparently talking to.


    mild surprise crossed his features for a moment and the large direwolf blinked away the sleepiness to make himself seem at least half-awake and ready to face the stranger who was....just kind of chilling in their territory. and through this forcing of energy, he cleared his golden gaze to look upon the other, a faint, tired smile upon his face as he shook his head gently - another attempt for clearing his mind and allowing himself to think straight. "well, if you say so," koday shrugged, his mind finally coming in to focus, "but if they start too look infected or anything, make sure to go check out one of our doctors...they'd be happy to help." koday finished. he sat there for a good half a minute, simply listening as they were talking about...some kind of juice? and they guy apparently didn't want anything that was orange or blue? huh. koday, giving a curious huff, spoke up once more. "why does the color matter?" it was a bluntly phrased question, but it was one that held a true, genuine curiosity as to why there could be no blue or orange juice consumption on behalf of the other male. but it was...upon his thinking and trying to get his tired mind to place a name with a face that he come to the conclusion that....this dude was not from here. not from what he had seen, anyways. "but-uh...juice talk aside, what's your name? I haven't seen you around here before..." koday's voice trailed off in thought. had he? nope..not at all. he didn't recall a name, or a face...and he didn't recall the dude saying why he was there...but koday had faith the answer to that would come in due time.



    "Speech." + tags & plotting





    What motivated anyone, what motivated dog to work for master. Is it want or need, is it that sweet positive reinforcement or the risk of negative reaction. What motivates one person to be bouncy and childlike, is it in their genetics, or does someone who acts grim and dark have good reason; Nature versus nurture so to speak. Too many things to ponder during a lazy chilly Tuesday afternoon, but it seemed like it was the only existential thought that had yet to solved by formulas and math. It wasn't, many questions in life are left to one's own morals and ideas, battled over and debated, whether killing a child is wrong, whether or man can love man. The world is in turmoil, wars between clans, and in clans. Deep set wounds in hearts that no one can see, and disabilities like Raphael's gimp leg. That is life, suffering that is seen and hidden. Nature twists the world into mountains and rivers, and makes natural disasters and fires to wipe out homes, yet people push through. For what?

    Maybe it is the nature of life to not give up, to push on even when things seem impossible. Or maybe creatures are just dumb, and argue against their fate. The fate of every mortal, death. Who's to say immortality exists at all, in the end you will die from memories if not existence. What did you live for, what did you want, what drove you.

    Today, Raphael was driven by this exchange, another new face. His eyes seemed to light up even more, as if he had seen an angel. Whether this was a dumb idea or not, and through his odd existential crisis, he could tell already that this would be the safe environment he needed. Imagine that, no threat of humans or outsiders, and when they did come, he would have back up. Though as of right now, he was still an outsider, a stranger. He had questions he could actually answer.

    "Color matters a lot, if someone says they look green it mean sickness, if some berries were red, you would know that they warn of poison." It was a wisdom that could be refined, the idea that every color holds meaning. Orange was joy, Raphael was not deserving of this. However much he wished he was as happy as the serval of his own age, he was rather plain and glum. Yet, blue, true sadness, he was not that either. The male would prefer a nice brown juice, perfect for his personality. Dull. He had no clue what juice was.

    "I apologize for not introducing myself sooner, I'm Raphael Muzikant, I heard from a.. Friend that this was the remnants of the clan I used to be a part of." He was talking too much, he had to shut up, but deep down he never wanted to stop talking ever again. "I can not attribute any accuracy of the statement 'ough"

    Raphael missed a lot of conflict and war, what was once the Sanctum was long destroyed. His old territory was a dream, a memory that he could now only think of. He knew this, yet deep down he prayed they would still accept him here, take him in as if he were another of their kind. He could wish, he was praying to a god he wasn't even sure existed. Raphael, a bright boy was at his lowest, changing from a light conversation about juice to pleading for answers.






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    Beware the broken girls. They've learned how to survive —

    Was Charity the only flawed one here? She was a stubborn vixen, yes, very prideful and full of sharp comments, but she did not think she has a driving force to keep her going. She had no desire to live or prosper. She was merely alive because she was not destined to die yet. Don't get her wrong, she doesn't believe in that whole 'destiny' bull. Actually she doesn't believe in anything or anyone except herself. She was stubborn, yes. Perhaps her motivation that she does not yet realize is the wanting to create a new life.


    Kady.


    Her name was Kady, but here she is Charity. Here she can be whoever she wants. Start anew. Here she can offer her help without expecting anything in return. She can be charitable. Had someone told her she would escape her past and create a new life from scratch she would have laughed. But here she is, lurking behind the trees with her body close to the ground. Here she was, watching the three creatures with curious eyes. Here she was, a smile forming on her black lips when she hears that the topic of conversation was 'juice'. The silver fox had only joined days ago and has still yet to meet everyone here, but she already felt better. She kept fearing that her naturally sarcastic and blunt personality might turn others off, but perhaps that all stemmed from being unhappy when she was held prisoner most of her life. Here she found herself smiling more, laughing more, and not being so edgy. It was from happiness, something she hasn't felt in a long time.


    After a few more seconds of watching Charity moves out from behind the trees and approaches the small forming group. She walked confidently. Comfortably. Like she had been here forever. The Renegades really were the right choice for her. "I find color and it's association to foods ridiculous. What if someone is color blind? What happens then?" What a great way to start off. She was already criticizing what Raphael said and she hasn't even introduced herself. Don't worry. She's mentally kicking herself. Lets not get too comfortable here, Charity. Comfort means making comments she shouldn't and offending someone. We don't want that happening. Not right now, when life is good, but good things only last so long.


    The fox moves beside the leader. Another creature she has not yet met, but this one she knows by word of mouth. This was Koday, someone she already had respect for despite not meeting him yet. Lav she has met briefly, but she was pretty much just as unfamiliar to these two as the stranger was. She does not introduce herself. Not yet anyways. "Oh? And what is this friend's name?" As if she would know since she just got here, but maybe someone else would know.

           

    — with shards of glass under their skin. They're glittering, sharp, beautiful, and will watch you bleed with a smile.

    and you're kissing to cut through the gloom

    with a cough-drop-coloured tongue — tags

    the serval had already been bouncing up and down, but now he was really bouncing, completely forgetting what the hell he was doing or asking until the tom cat popped into view. he was momentarily startled, blind gaze widening beneath the blindfold as he fought the sudden urge to run forward, encasing the other in a jolly hug. he hadn't done that yet, mostly because he had gotten into some serious shit at times when he had tried to do it in hell. unconsciously, he'd paw at the long black choker at his neck, tugging to clear his scattered thoughts. he hadn't been considerate, had he? he too hadn't judged the distance either, cranium shaking to the side in a 'no' manner to himself, as he patiently listened to raph. instead of answering, he'd disappear briefly, probably teleporting off to do god knows who. when he returned, he was dangling a straw from his mouth, arms busy with the rest of his haul. he'd extend the other juice box, placing it beside the other in a quick motion. he didn't appear to be paying attention for a time, as he was a bit busy preparing some sort of concoction that he shielded with his body. he, in all honesty, was a bit color insensitive, as well as flavor. if it looked good, it usually tasted good, was his motto, though he had enough sense to stay away from berries and strange people with candy although. sometimes he was the stranger with candy, but his intentions were always pure.


    he's changed yet another topic to juice and therein to food, but he doesn't seem to hear or mind. he's busy, paws a whirl of action, head tilted to the side to occasionally talk to the snake around his neck, abet through a mental conversation. he's glad that he hasn't had to endure the question about religion or so forth, but he's curious about something he's just remembered. "extend your paws one atta time and i'll clean them before wrapping them." his mood as changed slightly, the stillness that sometimes creeps in to him somewhat visible. his general good vibe feeling hasn't changed though. "are you an angel?" he'd ask cluelessly, being somewhat well versed with the popular angel names.





    Names and identity were as complex and undefined as motivation, it was as if conscious beings were created to be confused. Lost in this world of danger and fear. Made to decide their own fates, or follow the one laid out for them. Anyone could recreate themselves because who they were wasn't set in stone. An old them could fade from memory entirely, replaced by a completely different person. The only thing stopping people was honesty, another odd concept. Was a lie bad. So many questions, it made his head hurt.

    The light fox was the next to comment on his color theory, much more critical, but nonetheless applying the same level of curiosity to the conversation as everyone else. Raphael didn't look taken aback, just thought for a moment, thinking about how he could defend his point further. How he talked now would decide their opinions of him for months, maybe years to come. He shivered at the thought.

    "Well, colorblind people just see differently. Even if they see in black n' white. They're seeing different shades of black, they're experiencing bright sunlight as white just like me n' you." He hoped the answer would satisfy the other's question, Raph was growing tired of explaining his already weakly backed theory. Though the questions kept rolling, and his ears would lay flat to his head in mock exhaustion.

    Yet another animal had asked him of his name without offering theirs, a simple sign of respect he thought. Maybe that was just how they worked here, he couldn't judge. He felt like they were holding him here, waiting for something to happen. This time, he'd let someone else answer the question, maybe the wolf, or even the serval, who he hadn't notice "pop" away from existence.

    The friendliest out of the group was back, offering him real help. Raphael sat right back, eyes glowing at the idea of the soreness in his paws fading away like ice on a warm afternoon. It wasn't that instant, or effective, but he had never truly been injured before. Never gotten healed by someone who was trained to do so. As he raised his left paw, he listened intently to yet another question for him. This one wasn't filled with any malice as far as he could tell, just a question about his name.

    He was raised by someone who liked angels, yet his name wasn't the same kind of name as his sister. He began thinking about it too for a moment, wondering why he had the name of religion while his sister was stuck with one of the generic "warrior" names.

    Raphael was the angel of healing, whether it be emotional or physical. Made to be called on by healers and people in their weakest moments. This Raphael was no healer, but he tried his very best to help others, and give as much support as possible. Maybe that's what an angel truly is, just helping. Of course, he was unaware that real demons and angels roamed the earth with him. Maybe for the better.

    "I'm not an angel anymore than you." He looked directly at the serval this time, unaware of the irony of his comment. It was meant to be a compliment, but in the development from brain to mouth something got lost in translation. This serval was not an average creature like the others around them, the pattern of his fur, the eyes, baffled Raphael through and through. Though each and every one of them seemed oddly supernatural in their appearances; And then there was dull Raphy.






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