bleeding crowns, silver tongues

// on mobile

I looked at him as he said those words and I just... I don't know just his words meant nothing to me. I was still upset, if he was so big on keeping her then he better control her. I looked at him and shook my head. " I don't care , I am a queen. Do not disrespect me , and my country. I will not be disrespected my my finances harlette. She is a reflection of you, and her actions might as well be yours " I say and shook my head, " you are adimemt on keeping her, then control her cause what happend was so embarrassing and not okay"

I say and turned to go back in, but before I did I looked at him. " For what it's worth, I really enjoyed dancing with you" I say and gave him a weak smile before shutting my door and looking at my bestfriend. " this is not our home" I say and I shake my head as I reminded myself. I sigh , this is why I was cold... the best rulers were I suppose. I go and sit on my bed and smiled "it looked like you had fun with Leo though " I say with a smile as I wanted her to talk about it.

( I'll wait until Damien gets back to his room so they can chat )!

I sigh, " Even when it is... it is not. Right now we need each other, so that's why we are on even grounds.. But if i declare my right to the English

throne... They will need me" I say and pondered at the thought and then sighed. " I shouldn't have talked to him like that. Even if she is a harlot, I had no right" I say and sigh. " I need to apologize before things get out of hand" I say and covered my face in my hands. " France may be our home someday , if that... But I am disposable until I declare my right for the English throne.. I need this engagement... Scottland needs this engagement." I say, but truth was, I wanted to say sorry, cause I felt bad, not just because of the engagement. " Im glad Natalia is gone but..." I say and sat on my bed. " It will be all my fault and that man.." I say and shivered at the thought if what Damien was going to do. " Might be the death of me" I say and shake my head, actually kind of scared for what he might do to me. " I must go and apologize" I say and sigh, " you can come with if you want... but if not, why dont you head to bed, I dont want to keep you up"

I go to his room, shaky and holding my robe against me as I knocked on the door, Leo opened it and Damien looked angry and sad and I had a feeling that he just found out about the news. " I am sorry" I say, my voice shaky and weak. " I should not have called the woman you love a harlot. That was not okay and I really had no say or input of the matter of her banishment... I am so sorry" I say and I looked up at him with watery eyes and then down as I picked at my nails... Why wasn't I as "queenly" around Damien, its like he made me nervous and almost scared and I hated it.

I see my brother come in booming and I sat on his bed and sigh. " Look-" I say and shake my head " She was banished from court" I say and I saw my brothers face and I sigh. " Look Father new what you guys were up to, and he was okay with it until she deliberately poured wine on Queen Annabelle, She represents her husband, a noble, she represents the french court and she publicly did that To queen of Scottland and it was like the french court are hating on not only Scotland, but her queen." I say and sigh as I see my brother process this. " Her and her husband are leaving until Father says so... he seemed very angry" I say and I watch my brother react..

A couple minutes go by and I hear a knock and I answer it. I open the door and look down to see Annabelle and I hear her apology and I just looked at my brother, almost scared cause I knew the temper he had and I had to follow my dads word. I had to prevent violence so if it cme down to it, If my brother lashed out, I would have to protect Annabelle, and I knew my brother would hate that.

I see Leo and Adelaine leave and I felt myself grow red and tear up as he yelled at me. He stormed off to the window and I wanted to walk away. I wanted to storm off and blame it all on him and huff and puff but before I knew it, I walked into the room and slowly shut the door behind me and I leaned against the door. My heart beating in my ears as I knew this wasn't a good idea. Annabelle turn back now. I thought as I stepped further into the room. Annabelle stop. turn around, he isn't worth your frustartion. I thought as I walked closer to him. If you touch him, he will hit you. I thought again as my hand stretched out to touch his arm. "n-n-no" I stutter, my voice barely above a whisper and when he angrily turns to me, my body instantly flinched and stepped back, showing him how afraid I was...of him." I dont understand" I say, my voice shaking as my eyes meet his. " I-I" I say and I pause as I thought nervously about my words as I wrapped my robe tight around me. " I am sorry" I said nd I looked straight at him. " I have never loved before.. So I can't imagine what you are feeling but please do not put this on me. I would never, never intentionally get rid of her because even if I didn't like sharing, I would never break your heart like that" I plead to him, my body shaking I was so scared.

I felt Adelaine grasp onto my chest as he yells at us to get out. I slowly walk out, grabbing her as I did so as we started to walk away. I turn behind me and I see Annabelle enter his room and close the door and I heard Adelaine and I could't help but to agree. " I am worried to for her" I say as I stopped walking and looked at the now closed door, I heard nothing which meant there was no yelling, but looking at that brown oak door, it made me nervous on what was happening on the inside. I turn to her and I gave a weak smile and a white lie. " They will be okay" I say and shake my head. " Annabelle is strong and can hold herself up, and My brother would be stupid to lay a hand on the Queen of Scotland and potentially the Queen of England" I say and I rub her shoulder. I smile weakly as I knew that didn't convince her. " Ill have the servants make us some tea" I say and I gesture to a couch next to the window down the hall from my brothers room; within eye sight. " and lets sit right there and we can just talk and if anything happens that we can hear, we will be here, close so we can help" I say with a encouraging nod. " while we wait... I wanna learn more about you if thats okay..."

// lol I relate so hard and Ill look the songs up!

I saw his anger come down and when he said he wasn't going to hurt me, I felt bad for thinking it. In the past, I had a couple of engagements that didn't last long as 1) they couldn't give me what my country need and 2) They would abuse me after my strong words. Thats why I was cold most of the time and never got comfortable with anyone and anywhere. His anger just made me think he would... as in the past, angry men were proven to strike. I felt him hug me and I wrapped my arms around him and barried my face against his chest as I held back tears from my old memories and the stress of him knowing it wasn't her fault. I felt a couple tears slip and I felt his hands go through my hair and it made me feel so at home... home. Annabelle no. This is not your home.. he is not your home. I feel him pull away and silence lingered over us and I wiped my tears. I saw him look at me, like actually look at me for the first time and I liked that.. a lot. I see him starring at my lips, and I felt us grow closer, so close. Our breaths soft but almost wavy as we got close to each other and I felt us lean in, our lis brushing up against each other and I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to hold me so I could have that secure feeling of home again. But this was not my home, I didn't know if I woukd actually marry him. I didn't know if I wanted to let myself fall into the unknown. As our lips brushed each other I step back, "t-thank you for understanding" I stutter out. " I hope you feel better.. I just, I just got to go" I say as my puffy eyes were wide and my fingers lightly pressed against my lips." Im sorry" I say before shaking my head to snap into reality and I walk out. My fingers on my lips as I slowly, ever so slolwy walked back to my room.

( she has intimacy issues, yeah know, is scared to fall in love or be intimate or stuff, idk I thought it added another element)

I smile and looked at the server " Mint tea please" I say and she nodds and rushes away. I go and sit down and lean my head up against the cold tan stone wall. " So tell me where your fro_" I say but was cutt off when I heard the door open and I saw a Annabelle walking slowly o her room, she didn't look angry or upset, but her fingers were placed on her lips and I could see my brother watching her go. I was glad nothing bad happend but more upset because I wanted to spend time with Adelaine and get to know her. I sigh as I looked at her tired figure. " I will have the tea sent to your room" I say with a small smile. " Go on, head to bed, Annabelle is okay and you my dear'' I say as she yawns, " need rest" I say and rubbed her shoulder lightly. I let her go to bed, upset I could't learn about her but knowing me, I would find creative ways to see her.

I look back and I sigh, I might as well go check up on my brother again, now that he wasn't angry. I walk back in and see him kinda dazed as well, " what happened?" I say being noisy and wanting to know what happened. I also didn't want to go to bed with a sad brother or a fuming angry brother as I was too good of a brother to let that happen.

I looked at my bestfriend and I shook my head. " We were about to" I say and sigh. " I wanted to, the way he made me feel, how safe.." I trailed off and sigh. " his lips were brushed up against mine and i got.. I got scared Adelaine, I dont want to get attache, I dont want to feel safe when im not" I say and sigh. " I just... I dont know" I say and sigh as my fingers traces my lips. " Im just scared to... Ive never been in love or even kissed someone and I just.. Im scared of it all" I sigh and shake my head. " I am so stupid now, we just became good and now we're bad again because I'm too scared" I say as I got into bed under my thick covers , after I helped Adelaine out of her dress first. I did all this to protect myself, though I couldn't have handled it a lot better I was regretting what I did and wishing I had felt the feeling of his lips crashed against mine.

//sorry low ish muse

I looked at my brother and sigh. I could put two and two together and I sat on his bed. " Do not over think it. She has never had her first kiss probably. shes been engaged several times and is scared to get attached, show her that she shouldn't be scared. The way you guys danced tonight and talked tonight... Theres no doubt that she likes you" I say and I rub my brothers shoulder. " All we have is time" say with a weak but happy smile as I tried to comfort my not so little brother

( you can timeksip to the morning if ya want!)

I woke up with the memory of a dream that was about Damien. We were dancing and this time there was no Natalia, there were no people, there were no concerns, we were free f everything, every title, everyone. Then and only then is when he pulled my waist against his and kissed me. I blush at the memory and I shake my head." No Annabelle" I grumble to myself as I got out of bed and got dressed into a more casual look for today. I brushed out my long blonde waves, and kept the front bits away from my face and I called it good. I thought about calling for my bestfriend and ladies but I would rather have them have a calm and less "work" king of morning with me as they didn't always have to follow me, as f they did, I would feel just so bad.

I went to the dining table and Saw Claire and Damien. " Good morning" I say with a small smile as I sit down. Immediately my breakfast I hadn't even ordered were in front of me. Sliced potatoes and eggs. I gracefully dug into my food and I looked at Claire and saw her sadness and I knew it was from the marriage. " Marrying a man you don't know is scary" I say as I wiped my mouth lightly with a napkin and I set it on the table. " You must know how to stand up for yourself, but also, don't let this arranged marriage keep you away from loving him, because if you can't love him, try to be friends with him as your sharing a life together" I say. I looked at Damien and his eyes met mine and I had to look away before blush went through my cheeks. It was too late and I slowly fixated my mind elsewhere so the pinkness from my cheeks would go away... I look at him and just think of that stupid, silly, irresponsible, amazing dream I had.

I woke up honestly so tired, but My father bursted in about the Kingdom gossip. " If they think France and Scotland's alliance is weak then ENgland will want to strike at one of us" He grumbled as we did have some English " peace keepers" here at the castle that could tell there queen this viable information. " Dad calm down" I grumble tiredly as I sit up and started to put my clothes on. " Well just show everyone how happy they are, simple, rumor put down"

The news of Natalia circled the kingdom, also the fight that had broken between the two got out and now there had to be damage control. They needed to look like a united front because if there not, its as if Scotland and France's alliance were on iffy grounds. That night though, a lot of things happen, but almost not enough. I wanted to talk to Adelaine more, dance with her more and connect with her more but that didn't happen. Although the time I did have with her was amazing. I headed down to the dining table to see my brother, sister and Annabelle. " Father told me to tell you guys" I say as I sat at the breakfast table to, ordering some bacon and eggs for breakfast before turning to the engaged couple. " The kingdom has drama and rumors going around and some are thinking France and Scotland's allaigance is unstable because of the rumors of you guys fighting" I say and sigh, already stressed about tings that weren't really my job. " Father wants ou guys to spend today with each other, walk around, be seen so we can put the rumors away" I say and I see Annabelle's ladies come in and I smiled as I looked for Addy with my eyes.

I looked at Addy and nodded, " I have been adressed, it will be handeled" I say and gave he a smile and I looked at Damien, " Maybe ona horse ride? I miss my horse" I say and smiled. " but wait" I say and I turned to the worried Claire, I had not forgotten her problem. " give me a moment with Claire" I say and I looked st the boys " out out out, " I say, not caring if my ladies heard me as they witnessed this first hand. " I have been engaged several times" I say and I move so I sat next to her and I held her hand. " I have seen the nicst boys to the sickest" i say and I looked at her worried face. " If he be a cruel man, You do no have to be hurt or abused" I say, placing a hand on her cheek. " You come to an agreement, and if that does not work, you live a seperate life my dear. You only be with him for the ublic and for children, but you will have your own ladies, and they will be there to hold you every step of the way" I say and gave her a smile. " I am a letter away, and I will help you as much as I can" I say and gave her a hopeful smile. " I know its hard, trust me I know, but our life isn't ours, its bigger than us, its our peoples, its the population, the masses."

After I talked to Claire, I headed to the stables to see Damien. I was glad I wore a lighter and more casual dress today as riding with a big and tight dress was hard. I Saw my horse St.Michael and I smile as I gave my horse a kiss. I see he was already saddled and I turned to Damien with a playful smile, " Boost me up will ya?"

I saw Adelaine come in but her eyes were kind of ignoring me... I wasn't too sad, more encouraged to keep trying to get her... Like a chase. I see her inform Queen Annabelle and I watched the interaction but before I knew it me and Damien were kicked out so Annabelle can share her experiences with mean men and honestly I was interested but I felt as if I had to go because she wsn't ready or wanted to ell Damien her past yet and she can't just kick him out... or maybe its purely a girl thing and they talked about there monthly bleedings... I dont know. I leanagainst the wall and smile at him, "riding hmm? I might convince Adelaine to ride with me" I say and chuckle " Probably not, shes a stubborn one" I say with the shake of my head. " I would go on the east trail... The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, its very pink" I say, giving him a heads up. I see Annabelle walk out with a smile as she looked for Damien who already headed to the stables and I came back in, " So why can't I know any of this girl information?" I pout jokingly to the girls.

I smile as I got back on my horse, feeling at home instantly. As we slowly trotted, side by side, he finally broke the silence. " If anyone were to understand where she was coming from it would be me" I say with a sigh, shivering at the thought of the past.I cough, as if it could clear my mind from the bad thoughts that drifted into it. As we trotted in silence I decided to speak up. " I am sorry" I say and I see him be confused and I nodded, as I was about to elaborate. " About last night, everything about it.. especially the kiss" I say and sigh and halted my horse and looked at him. " I was scared... It wasn't because I was scared of you or didn't want to kiss you... I was scared because I wanted to and Im scared to get attached because I move around a lot and some engagements dont work and Im scared to get too comfortable because when I get too comfortable I get hurt" I rush out. Why did I tell him this... It was because I felt bad and didn't want him to think I didn't want to kiss him because thats all ive been thinking about.

I see the girls leave without answering me and I gave myself a weird look. " Uhm okay" I say as I walked off. I first stopped off at my dad who was going through policys. " I told them, there out riding now, I already saw two noble men starring at them, We should be good" I say and he sighs in relief. " thank goodness thank you"I just gave a nodd and walked off as I went t see if I could "accidentally" run into Adelaine. With no luck, I decided to go and work on my fighting skills. I grabbed my sword and my closest noble men at the castle, Charles, The one my father was close with and who Annabelle danced with and we had a sword fight. After getting bored, I looked up to see Adelaine pass. " Addy!" I say and walk over to her. " If your bored.... I could always teach you how to use a sword!"