🌙 an antisocial pessimist (bxb pafp)

*:･ﾟ✦ KOUICHI, YAMANE

—— a dream dissipates within my stomach *:･ﾟ✦

ooc: i was going to start out after i finished a post on another thread, but thank you v much !! sorry if this is bad ;;

ic: The sky had clouds drifting about throughout the skies of monochrome greys that resembled ash. Those clouds grew too heavy, and unleashed water droplets upon the town. They hit the ground with force, something of them bouncing back up briefly if they had hit a puddle. The sight was somehow depressing and caused Kouichi to go deep into thought. He thought of rain as a sort of metaphor; a reminder, perhaps. Just as the sky does—humans too—can't help release their emotions when they grow heavy and unbearable. Although it was one of his more tawdry thoughts he frequently got when it began to rain, it was one that had some sort of truth to it. Kouichi much rather preferred the company of the warm sun rays greeting his soft skin of porcelain.

Some of the students chattered about their dismay in regards to the weather and the seventeen year old felt similarly. Although, he chose not to vocalize his opinions. He thought that it wasn't worth it and wasn't exactly of importance. Other than the somewhat forlorn mood and thoughts the weather triggered, his mind was distracted with other things that caused him to space out for a majority of the day. This included the mild guilt he felt whenever his mind came across the thoughts of what he had been doing in attempts to resolve the personal issues amongst his household. He always had a feeling that their harmful tendencies were a result of their stress in regards to their financial struggles, and so he was willing to go the extra mile in order to resolve them; even if just slightly.

Although, the more he tried to resolve the issues, the deeper he became thrust into a potentially dangerous and risky lifestyle.

He had been scolded throughout the day for his habit of becoming detached with reality for that day. He typically wasn't so distracted, but it couldn't be helped. He really did feel a burden and responsibility atop his shoulders. The scolds he received were met with half-genuine apologies. His name had constantly been called upon, as though to make sure he was paying attention. It went on until the bell rang. Every bell was a reminder of the last one that was to come; the one that reminded him of the home he was to return to. The one that reeked of the putrid stench of alcohol that had managed to seep its way into the fabric and material of every possession. The glass of booze bottles that would be strewn over the belongings; shards the pink-haired fellow would occasionally (although accidentally) find himself being cut upon.

At that thought did his stomach churn—uncomfortably so—with anxiety, causing him to grasp at it with his dainty hands lightly. His teeth became clamped and tugged at the skin of the inside of his cheek gently. He didn't want to hear the words his drunken parents would occasionally say, nor did he want to see them so influenced by the effects of their liquor that they could hardly stand. It was truly a painful sight and one he would do anything to avoid seeing again.

He took a moment to inhale deeply, and follow suit with his exhales. He did this briefly until his thoughts were collected and his nerves were calmed. He stood, prior to taking the belongings that were upon his desk and held them against his thin waist using his left arm. With his right hand did he tug slightly at the open sweater that had begun to fall off of his bony shoulders. While doing so did his fifth and ring finger gently brush against the clavicles that protruded from beneath his skin. He was quite thin, as a result of him trying to save the limited stock of food for his parents. After all, they were always indulging in booze and he didn't want them to do so on an empty stomach. He let his right arm drape back to his side before pushing the chair and quickly hurrying off to his next class.

He became lightheaded once he stood, but it was something he had grown used to. He dragged his body through the hallways. He stood out side of the door to his second-to-last class with one last sharp inhale. He opened it in a manner that was a bit hasty. He stood a somewhat tall 178 centimeters and had put his hair—that would have otherwise draped down his back—into a high ponytail. The ends were long and reached down to a bit below his shoulder blades. Beneath the aforementioned sweater of ebony that he adorned, he was also clad in a long-sleeved shirt of white. Both were oversized, although the sweater seemed to be more so just slightly. He wore jeans that clung to his skinny legs, that ended just a bit less than two centimeters above his ankles. He wore black boots that's length was just below the length of his jeans, but enough to have his pale skin slightly exposed through the small gap.

He almost immediately spotted a friend he considered rather close: Atticus, whom he exchanged gazes with for just a moment. The other male looked down at his desk, and there was something strange. He wasn't sure what, but it pained Kouichi to see the brunette look so doleful. He figured that he would ask him about it at the resounding bell that would occur and signaled the class was over. He tread lightly over to the empty desk beside his friend's a took a seat at it. Even when he sat, however, he couldn't take his gaze off of Atticus. He observed him and tried to interpret the expression that was plastered upon the other's face. He extended an arm slightly and poked at Atticus' shoulder, only to retreat his arm with haste. "Are you ok?" He asked in a hushed tone, his very thin (and drawn on) brows becoming knitted with concern. He didn't have the patience to wait until the class was over. He had to ask, and he felt that that moment was best.

He quickly spoke again after the question he asked his classmate. "If something's bothering you, you can talk to me about it after class." He murmured, his head slightly dipped as he attempted to scrutinize Atticus' expression more. He had a gentle smile that tugged at his lips, although one that contained worry. The two boys often shared everything with each other, so Kouichi couldn't help but feel slightly concerned at the thought that there really could potentially be something on the brunette's mind that he wasn't told about.

ooc: your post was good ! dw

ic: In response to his questions, Kouichi was offered a somewhat dry "I'm fine." from the other boy; resulting in his gentle consoling smile to fade slightly. It was inevitable that there was an urge for a frown to pull at the corner of his lips, although he did his best to keep the smile upon his face. It didn't matter if it was the slightest of smiles, but he felt that it had to be there. He wasn't sure himself as to why he felt that way. Perhaps, he felt it would get through to the seemingly distressed brunette eventually. Despite Atticus' words, the pink-haired male couldn't help but feel otherwise. Regardless, he—at last—turned his attention to the monotone voice of the teacher. He attempted to cling onto every word, but it couldn't be helped that he would fall deep into his thoughts once more.

Now the topic of Atticus' well-being (or lack of thereof, rather) was parading about in Kouichi's thoughts. One more topic to distract him. For most of the class did he sit with a single elbow atop the surface of the desk while his jawline rested within the center of his palms as though to keep his head up. His name had been called out by the teacher about twice that class to make sure the boy's attention was being kept. It was about the second time he began to take short notes that likely wouldn't be of help in the future due to how vague they were and how much description they lacked. Sure, he was able to know what they meant now; he would likely stump himself by his odd notes in the future, however.

He happened to be a bit startled when the bell sounded once more, his breath becoming held and his heart quickening in pace briefly. He exhaled and straightened out his 'notes' before turning to where Atticus had been sitting. However, when he turned in the other's direction, he had already disappeared from the desk. Kouichi knitted his brows together instinctively and rapidly turned his head from left to right before looking in front and behind where he stood. He quickly stood when he realized the boy was nowhere to be found and bolted from his desk with a small trip. He exited the room—tightly grasping his belongings so they wouldn't become strewn about from his abrupt movements—and spotted Atticus heading towards his locker.

He inhaled sharply and held his breath as he quickly went towards the brunette. He stopped next to him, his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed as his eyes attempted to peer into Atticus' hazel ones. Atticus' behavior had been very peculiar. It was unlike him to head out so silently. Not that Atticus was ever very talkative to begin with, but to leave without saying a word was.. strange. Kouichi was doubting himself and trying to tell himself that it was just his own paranoia dictating that, but overall, the pink-haired boy had a strong feeling that his suspicions were right. Even if he was unable to prove them at that moment.

He kept his eyebrows knitted, but parted his lips and inhaled sharply as though to speak. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked the brunette while his tone was soft as it typically was. Although, he did put slight emphasis on the word 'sure'. He cocked his head slightly after asking that question, attempting to see the expression Atticus adorned. His tone became slightly hoarser when he spoke again. "If I'm being honest, you're acting a bit strange." He admitted this with his eyebrows becoming relaxed and his lips becoming just slightly pursed again.

Kouichi had tried endlessly to convince himself that he was overthinking—overanalyzing—the brunette's distant attitude. Yet, that feeling of uncertainty continued to persist and nag at his thoughts. He could only hope that nothing had happened to Atticus and that he was only stressing, perhaps about the future. After all, adulthood was creeping up on them; and fast. He figured it could be education related, but he wasn't exactly sure how that would affect the brunette in such a way. Kouichi had picked up on his strange behavior not too long ago. It seemed to become more and more prevalent in the last few days, and only now did he have the courage to ask the other boy about it.

Kouichi was pleased that Atticus finally looked at him directly. He somehow felt better that they could exchange eye contact. He couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed when the brunette stated that he was fine again. He wanted to put his trust in him and believe that the other boy was telling the truth, but it just wasn't happening. Something was certainly off, and even though Kouichi was unable to directly point a finger at what the problem was, he knew it was there. He figured that he would be able to get it out of Atticus later. Though, he had a feeling that if something really wasn't wrong, his presence would just become irritating.

"You don't need to worry about me so much, Ko." The other added after stating he was fine. The pink-haired male responded quickly. "I can't help but worry when you have that troubled look on your face." He spoke genuinely, but had a smile on his face and emitted a small laugh. He always found himself laughing at the worst times; it seemed to be a coping mechanism of sorts. "It's not like it's the first day you've been acting like this, either." He admitted in a mutter after his other statement in a way that was somewhat beneath his breath. After saying this, his eyes slowly drifted to the floor. Habitually, he raised a hand to his pink ponytail and fiddled with the strands that hung from it briefly.

Kouichi could only hope that Atticus hadn't been experiencing the same problems at home that Kouichi himself was. Although, unlike his own, Atticus' clothes didn't reek of alcohol so he found it unlikely. Despite his situation at home, Kouichi was always worrying about others more than himself. He couldn't help but become slightly bitter when he was struck with the reality of how his life was going. His expression became somewhat blank with the thought of where he had to return to after conversing with Atticus. Shortly after, Atticus asked a question that Kouichi simply dreaded. "Are you alright? Why do you keep asking me questions?" The tall male's heart thumped at the question, and his eyes grew just slightly wider. He truly hated lying, and especially to someone he knew for such a long while like Atticus.

He responded quickly and reverted his gaze so that he was looking at the brunette once more. "What?" He asked, quickly trying to hide his mildly panicked expression. His eyes returned to their natural size and he put a small smile on his face. He forced a laugh out, but his innards were churning with anxiety. "He couldn't possibly know.." Kouichi thought to himself, despite knowing damn well that he smelled of alcohol and it didn't take much to put together the dots. "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked with another laugh, beginning to play with his ponytail once more.

"Hey, don't try to make this about me." The pink-haired male said in a playful tone, shuffling the belongings that was pressed between his hollow abdomen and left arm. "We're not talking about me." He added amidst his forced laughing. He couldn't directly lie to Atticus. He couldn't bring himself to do it. However, he did feel slightly less guilty in pretending as though he hadn't a clue as to what Atticus was suddenly talking about. Truthfully, he didn't. His anxiety told him that Atticus knew about his situation at home. Yet, his more logical side was telling him that the sudden question was just to deflect from Kouichi talking about Atticus.

ooc: short post, sorry ;;

ic: The communication between them—both physical and verbal—became rather awkward. There was a silence that grew between them for a moment. This was until Atticus spoke. "We don't really have to talk about either of us." Kouichi was taken aback by the statement Atticus had chosen to respond to his words with, but he was also somewhat relieved by it. The pink-haired male felt as though that statement only further proved his suspicion of something having gone awry in Atticus' life, but he didn't mention it any further. The brunette stuttered a bit in his next sentence. "Let's just- let's just go." Kouichi nodded hesitantly in agreement, his lips becoming pursed once more. He silently put up a finger as though to say 'wait a minute' and rushed off to his locker.

It wasn't long before Kouichi returned with a bag slung over his arm. There were too many things in it, so the zipper was unable to be completely closed. It was obvious it was a bit too heavy for the small male, but he could manage. It was uncomfortable for the strap to be digging into his clavicles, which caused him to lift the bag for a moment and adjust it with hopes of it becoming less bothersome. He had a smile on his face still; although it was a half-genuine one. He approached Atticus so that he was standing beside him. Hoping that the conversation wouldn't revert to the one it had been prior, he spoke. "I hope nothing gets fucked up from all this rain." He spoke it somewhat of a mumble, and laughed while speaking.

"Can't say I'd really mind though," He added, still chuckling a bit. "It'd be another excuse to slack off." He had a tone as though he was joking, but the more he thought about it, the more he wished for it to happen. He had a tendency to be lazy when it came to things such as schoolwork. Though, one could suppose that's typical of high school kids. He'd rather spend his time doing other things, just as anyone else would. "Hey, are you doing anything after school?" He asked, the small smile not fading. "It's been a while since we've done anything." He continued, heavily implying that he wanted to spend time with the brunette.

He stuttered out what sounded to be nonsensical consonants jammed together before speaking again. "I get if you have plans though!" His tone sounded a bit nervous, possibly a result of Atticus' new intimidating demeanor. "You seem to be pretty busy lately.." He said this beneath his breath, his smile lessening. His muscles tensed a bit with anxiety from anticipation of how the other would respond.

Kouichi raised a single eyebrow at the rather early curfew, but didn't question it. Perhaps he had found someone special that he planned on seeing at that time. The thought of that made the pink-haired male feel slightly bitter for reasons that were unknown to even himself; thus, he ended up shrugging off that idea as much as possible. "Yeah, that's fine." He muttered in response. He tried to tell himself that he should have been grateful that he could spend time with the brunette. It would give them a few hours, which should have felt like more than enough time. Kouichi couldn't help but feel a bit selfish, and felt something similar to guilt as a result of that.

He adjusted the pink hair that laid in front of his face and had started to grow heavy and a bit bothersome. He groaned a bit with frustration as he continuously fiddled with the dyed strands. He could feel the rain fall gently against his soft skin of porcelain. It was something that mildly irritated him, although couldn't be helped. "This rain is actually kind of annoying." Kouichi nodded quickly in response before sharply inhaling and parting his lips. "Yeah, it's starting to piss me off." He agreed with a small laugh. "I didn't even know it was going to rain today.." He admitted with a tone that was similar to whining, paired with a somewhat childish pout.

It wasn't long after that the rain drops fell at a faster pace, which garnered another groan from Kouichi. He could feel the fabric of his clothes become soaked with the liquid and begin to cling to his thin body. It was rather uncomfortable. He attempted to tug slightly at the collar of his shirt, but it only reverted back to clinging on his skin. At Atticus' suggestion of the library, Kouichi responded in a somewhat sudden and abrupt manner. "Anything's fine, I just don't want to be in this rain." He sounded more aggressive than usual, although it was a bit exaggerated.

He could feel the weight of his high ponytail grow heavier and heavier until it was hardly a ponytail at all. As a result, he reached back and fiddled with it a bit. In wasn't any longer than two seconds before his lengthy pink hair strands were draped against his back. His gaze shifted from ahead to looking at the boy who walked alongside him. He parted his lips with the intent of speaking as he watched Atticus rolled his sleeves up. He had a smile on his face, almost as though he was about to say a witty joke with the intent of cheering up his peer. Much to his surprise, the brunette's arm was littered with bruises of sickly greens and purples. It contrasted his pale skin and was very much noticeable.

Instead of speaking like he had originally done, he kept his lips agape with shock. His breath became held, and his eyes slightly wider. His heart pounded against his chest with disbelief. He almost thought he had hallucinated, until he realized the other boy pulling his sleeve down again with much haste. His strides became slower as his thoughts spiraled into a dark, forbidden abyss. "Atticus.." He managed to mumble; the shocked expression not leaving his face. His voice was trembling only a bit, but his uneven breaths could be heard. "What was that, Atticus?" He extended an arm and grasped the other's sleeve with the intent of pulling it up.

Instead, he quickly retreated his arm and a thick gulp of saliva went down his throat. "Your.." He paused a bit and his eyes flickered from the other boy's now covered arm to his face. The other's gaze hadn't lifted from the ground yet. "Your arm."