am I just a shadow? || p; sharkpaw

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    — OUR BONES ARE TOO WEAK

    Beau had found a new calling in life, for what was most likely the fifth time at this point. One could call him a rookie salescat, but in his own mind, he was a renowned professional in the field. He had a capacity for all things shady, which was a quality that seemed to radiate from him wherever he went. This was a practice in which he could finally put his dubious integrity to use. His plan was simple, he had an assortment of fraudulent catnip and other counterfeit herbs, and he planned on selling them to the first unlucky individual. What were these plants, you may ask? They were simply a variety of futile weeds that he found growing on the other side of a ditch, next to a heap of petrified rat droppings. He knew how horribly degenerate this was, but he was already fifteen steps past the RiverClan border. Nobody could stop him at this point, not even himself. Mustering up the most dignified posture he could manage, he seated himself atop an isolated bolder in an illuminated clearing. This would be a very difficult spectacle to overlook. "Selling a diversity of exotic herbs for a completely reasonable price! Snag 'em while offers last!"


    SHARKPOOL

    tags | "speech"

    sharkpaw snarled and leaped out of his hiding spot in the bushes to confront the peddler. he hadn’t paid much attention to the tom’s words, too wrapped up in the fact that he was trespassing. “just what the hell are you doing here?” he hissed, an intimidating glare in his lilac eyes.


    //mobile

    — OUR BONES ARE TOO WEAK

    Beau's cranium swiveled to face the apprentice in a rather ominous manner. "Ah, our first lucky customer!" He bellowed in a monotonous voice. Without warning, the hairless feline leapt from his elevated position, descending upon Sharkpaw like a peregrine circling its prey. Dangling from his neck was a leaf satchel, bound by a rope of various grasses and ferns interconnecting with one another. "Young fellow, what I'm about to offer you is a once in a lifetime deal, meaning one that you'll never encounter again, meaning a limited time proposition, meaning- well, you get the point I'm sure." He proudly announced with a cheesy grin enhancing his already unsettling appearance. With great poise, he carefully unravelled his earthy knapsack, revealing an assortment of vegetation inside. "Do you, my friend, know what I am presenting to you today?

    tags | "speech"

    “a load of hot garbage,” he growled, taking one look at the plants inside and scoffing. “riverclan never has and never will need help from ugly rogues, so fuck off.” as the unfamiliar tom approached closer, sharkpaw’s fur bristled to full capacity. this hairless scumbag reminded him a lot of that other bald rat he’d fought when bloodclan attacked. truthless, that was his name, wasn’t it? it seemed as if all these baldies were the same, sketchy and indubitably nefarious. he sharpened his claws in the dirt, poised to attack if need be.

    — OUR BONES ARE TOO WEAK

    Beau drew in a sharp gasp, offering his best attempt at appearing shocked. "W-what? You mean to tell me you've never heard of the legendary dragon weed?" The gremlin shuffled in closer, immediately discarding Sharkpaw's sharp tongue. "An enlightened healer from a distant tribe endowed me with these herbs. He had imparted this wisdom unto me while awaiting his death. May he rest in StarClan. Beau lifted his gaze to the leafless canopy above, aiming to produce a solemn expression upon his creviced face. "This herb has the ability to cure just about any ailment. I've seen it do wonders." His turquoise visionaries thoroughly examined Sharkpaw for a painfully long amount of time, before he spoke again. "But if that doesn't interest you, then maybe this will." In a methodical manner, he revealed a collection of virescent herbage one by one. "Are you familiar with catnip, my friend?" He inquired, putting an unsettling amount of emphasis on friend.

    tags | "speech"