my heart whispers ;; p, Harrier

Technically, Harrierstrike was trying to sleep away the cold that seemed to creep into his bones from the steadily falling snow. The warrior's den didn't seem to have any drafts, fortunately, but it was still frigid when he was a young enough warrior to still have a nest so close to the opening, where the chill cut in despite his best efforts to ignore it. As much as he liked being curled up to relax after a long day of trying to catch prey despite the weather, Honeystep's gentle voice was enough to push him from the verge of sleep and then to his paws. "I'm here," he murmured, unwilling to wake any other warriors had had decided that it was late enough to turn in for the night.

"I'd be happy to go on a walk with you," the dark tabby responded to the pretty queen's suggestion as he ambled a bit clumsily from his nest, trying not to step on the tails of his denmates. Even if it had been a blazing fire outside, Harrierstrike wouldn't have denied Honeystep a walk when she asked. She'd gone through enough with Whitesmoke to the last the lifetimes of four cats, and he wasn't in the habit of denying her. Honeystep had so much on her plate already, and so Harrierstrike didn't let his displeasure at the cold show on his face as he offered her a soft smile.

"I don't mind," Harrierstrike immediately responded to Honeystep's apology, not even bothering to think. The cold was unpleasant, but he couldn't get upset with her when she was willing to spend her free time with him when it was so rare. Besides, as they began to walk, he felt his limbs warm up, his movements becoming more fluid as he adjusted to the frigid temperature. By the time they passed the the guard posted at the entrance to camp, though, the warrior was walking as normally as he could while shivering beneath his thick coat. In the hopes of not getting told to go back inside, Harrierstrike offered the cat a nod and a confident smile, then kept walking beside Honeystep. He breathed a sigh of relief as they kept walking, nobody calling them back to camp.

As Honeystep began to thank him for everything, Harrierstrike dipped his head bashfully, so unlike how he normally acted. Maybe he was still asleep. "It's the least I could do, really. It's not like I could just leave you to take care of them all on your own. You're family now; it wouldn't be right to abandon you and the kits," the dark brown tabby began, taking a breath before addressing the part about Whitesmoke. "My brother has always been difficult, but our parents' death doesn't excuse him from neglecting his own children. He's hardly my brother if he refuses to care for his family," Harrierstrike added with a frown, unsure if his words would upset Honeystep. Hopefully not, but he knew his tone had been harsh in referral to his brother. The tom was still beyond furious with his brother at the moment, but he knew the pretty she-cat still had some degree of love for Whitesmoke. As he met her gaze, he forced the anger from his mind and his features softened. Upsetting her when she was trying to thank him would be a bad course of action.

For a few moments, all Harrierstrike heard was the crunch of fresh snow under their paws as they walked, but then Honeystep was speaking again, and he listened attentively. "I understand that. I never thought I'd have nieces and nephews running around when I was hardly a warrior," he responded, but realized that anything he was going through in relation to the kits, she was worse off. Not only was she younger, but she had been the one to miss out on warrior training because of something Whitesmoke had done and paid no consequences for. "But I think you're doing an amazing job with raising them, despite everything," the warrior added after a moment of silence, expression brightening as he attempted to meet her soft golden gaze.

"I'd love to have kids some day. Maybe when I'm a little older, so I can focus on being a good warrior and uncle first, but definitely in the future," Harrierstrike responded to her final question, expression wistful for a moment before he registered the additional comment with a snort of laughter. "You flatter me. I'm sure the recommendation will be necessary," he added with a wink, copper eyes sparking with amusement as he answered. This was so relaxed now that they had stopped talking about Whitesmoke. Harrierstrike realized in a split second that this was the kind of easy comfort he would love to share with his future mate, and he realized just how happy spending time around Honeystep made him. But they were just friends. They could only be just friends, because she'd had his brother's kits and probably still wanted to be with him. Harrierstrike was okay with being just friends, so long as she would stay in his life.

// i,, did not expect this to be so long i guess i just have muse for angry and also sappy harrier

Harrierstrike could never blame Honeystep for everything that her fling with Whitesmoke had caused. At the time, and probably now, she had loved him. It wasn't the she-cat's fault that his brother was frankly unfit to be a father. Maybe that would change with time, but it didn't matter how successful of a father Whitesmoke would be in the future when he had kits now that he ignored because of his own issues. As much as Harrierstrike understood the pain of losing his parents - for they had been his as well - he had been able to at least shove it down and ignore it until he felt he could take on the world. When Honeystep spoke of how she had thought it would last forever, the dark brown tabby felt his heart crack in sympathy at the grief in her tone. All of this pain because of Whitesmoke and his inability to push his own feelings aside for the sake of his family.

He didn't want to think about his brother right now. Not when he was trying to spend a pleasant evening with a friend (and only a friend, he forcefully reminded himself). No, Whitesmoke had no place in his happiness at the moment.

Conversation lightened up as they made their way up the ravine, and by the time they crested the top, jokes had been flying easily once more. Whitesmoke was banished from his thoughts, and most likely Honeystep's as well. "Aw, thank you," the tom responded to her praise, copper eyes alight with joy. "It's just how I stay as cool as everyone else," he added with a languid shrug, clearly far more awake than he had been only a few moments before. Months of always being less known than Whitepaw with his pranks, and Cherryburn with her temper and opinions had left him with no other choice but to train impossibly hard while maintaining his lazy and unmotivated exterior. He had rarely gone on patrols as an apprentice, but he'd put full effort into training with his mentor, or on his own, if he could slip out of camp unnoticed.

Copper eyes met golden ones, and for a moment, time felt perfect. This was Harrierstrike's joy - seeing Honeystep laugh despite everything that she had been through, the conversation that came to him like second nature. Just friends. But standing alone in the snow-blanketed forest, gazing at each other so fondly and full of mirth, it didn't feel like just friends. This was dangerous territory, and Harrierstrike was almost relieved when Honeystep darted away with a playful, 'Catch me if you can!'. The tom didn't trust whatever can of worms he had just opened up, especially when she clearly wasn't over Whitesmoke. For now, he would have to shove whatever these feelings were down beside his parents' death. Maybe they would never resurface, and it would be for the better.

Regardless, a child-like laugh burst from Harrierstrike as he took off after the pretty she-cat, snow crunching beneath his paws. He tried to ignore the way his ears burned at her grin when she ran. Just friends. With his long legs, it didn't take all that much for the dark brown tabby to catch up to Honeystep, but he allowed himself to slow his pace for just a moment, letting her get a lead once more. He needed a moment to let his confusion and fondness subside, before he did something he would regret. He knew that the way he felt would only hurt her right now, and so he would remain silent in regards to his feelings, and pray to StarClan they would go.

// sorry this took so long! i had a doctor's appointment and then work

By the time Harrierstrike watched Honeystep skid around in a circle, he was feeling a bit more normal. As she spun around, he laughed, only ceasing for a moment to be worried as he she fell face-first into the snow. Then she was back up, the snow sticking to the fur of her face comically. Even after she shook away some of the snow, it clung to her, and his uncontrollable laughter was answer enough to her question. In fact, the tom was laughing so hard at the voice she had used and her slicked-back, snow-covered fur that he slipped on the ice as well, falling backwards with a surprised yelp. Wheezing, he got to his paws and managed to quell his giggles long enough to bow dramatically and say, "Stunning, as usual." It wasn't a lie, though he managed to keep his heart in check when he said it.

And then things were a bit more serious, the fun and games put to an end. "I'll teach you all I know," Harrierstrike agreed, voice earnest as he spoke. It would never be her fault alone that she had missed the end of her training. She had been a kid who thought she could have some fun with a handsome tom who she thought had loved her; Harrierstrike could never blame her for that. "I'm sure you'd be a good warrior, even without the end of your training, but I'm still happy to help," he added with a small smile. It was easy to forget just how grown up his nieces and nephews were getting lately, and he realized just how much he would miss his visits to the nursery to see them. But then he would get to watch them all grow up in wonderful young apprentices, and then to warriors. And he would get to see Honeystep much more than he already did, if she was in the same den as him. "No, no, I'm totally fine with training you. It'll be fun," the dark brown tabby reassured her, his words completely genuine. She deserved to catch up on everything she had missed while she had been pregnant and the stuck in the nursery.

// white is just screaming in the distance

'wow i can't believe harrier stole my children and my girlfriend'

Harrierstrike didn't think he'd ever get tired of listening to Honeystep speak, so she needn't have worried about him getting bored with her constant thanks. It was fine when they talked about other things, though he wasn't entirely sure why she felt the need to thank him when he was just being a good friend and doing what was right. Still, he wouldn't say anything, because he would hate to make her feel bad, even if it was just telling her that she didn't need to thank him so often.

It was clear to him that with her petite build, Honeystep was more cut out for hunting, but he also saw the strength in being smaller and more agile. He was a better fighter, thanks to his well-muscled figure and long legs, but he struggled to keep up with smaller cats in battle. He listened to Honeystep's words, a bit taken aback by the curse, but not for long. It was easy to forget that he didn't need his near-constant kit and apprentice filter on when he was just with her. "Don't worry. I'm here to help you, not to flatter you," Harrierstrike responded, though he paused for a moment, head tilted in thought, before adding, "Actually, I might flatter you a little bit. But I promise I'll let you know if you mess up." The brown tabby lapsed into silence as Honeystep's face closed off, some of the warmth gone from her golden eyes. It was go time, and he needed to be ready for an attack.

Her attack came sooner than he expected, but Harrierstrike recognized the set-up to the move she used, noticed the way her eyes flickered to his paws right before she ducked. "Don't let where you look give away your attack," he instructed as he barely moved out of her way in time. In retaliation, he aimed to swipe at her as she passed him, but she was quick, and had already rolled out of his way. After a split-second pause, he noticed how her shoulder was open, and how she might be off-balance when she landed from her leap away because of it. The warrior aimed to rush toward her shoulder and knock her over, though his movements were slower than hers. If she thought quickly enough, she would be able to avoid it with her superior agility.

"Your shoulder was open, that's all," Harrierstrike responded to her compliment after he knocked her over, giving her a moment to get back on her paws and try again. Her next charge was much better, her gaze not giving anything about her attack away. In fact, Harrierstrike didn't realize what he plan would be until she jumped, and then he wasn't fast enough. He rose up on his back paws to try and deflect her, but couldn't move his weight quickly enough to compare with her agile leap. Harrierstrike was bowled over by the momentum behind her movements, and so aimed to gently press his hind legs against her stomach when he hit the ground, mock-pummeling as to not hurt her. He allowed her to stand up, then back off himself for a moment to puff out a breathless, "Good job. Your eyes didn't give it away, and you used speed to your advantage." At her comment that flattery was always nice, he smiled a little, making a mental note to encourage and flatter her whenever he got the chance.

Then, after a moment to catch his breath, Harrierstrike rallied to make his own attack. "Try to block or avoid my attack," he instructed before rushing forward, copper eyes locked on her golden ones - it helped keep him from giving away his own movements. When he was in range, he would feint left before sweeping right, hoping that she would fall for the feint and lunge, leaving herself off balance.

Harrierstrike too had begun to worry as time went on and they continued training. He knew that it had been a little while since they left, and not only would the guard eventually notice, the kits were virtually alone. It hardly crossed his mind that he would have to go hunting early tomorrow to try and replenish the near-empty fresh-kill pile. No, his mind was on his five nieces and nephews, sleeping in the nursery. At least they still had Cinderstream in there with them, but the recent fox attack had him on edge. Just like most other emotions, Harrierstrike managed to push them down and actually enjoy himself when he was spending time with Honeystep.

Worry once again crossed the warrior's mind as Honeystep hit the ground harder than he'd intended, though it was soon quelled when she met his gaze, no pain in her expression. Perhaps she was a bit breathless, but not hurt. Harrierstrike would never want to hurt her, unintentionally or not. Everything was peaceful, though Harrierstrike could feel that familiar tension building between them again. There was a moment of silence, the pair trying to catch their breath in the chilly night air, and then Honeystep was reaching up to touch her nose against his. Not just friends.

Harrierstrike's copper gaze widened in shock and adoration as she fell back, expression nearing on love-struck. StarClan, he was terrified of messing this up, of scaring her with the depth of his emotions. As she thanked him, Harrierstrike could hardly speak, voice barely above a whisper as he said, "It's the least I could do." He would do anything for the people he loved, simple as that. Just like that, the confident warrior was reduced to a lovesick fool. Not just friends! The thought repeated in his mind, more joyous this time. He didn't know exactly when he had begun to fall irrevocably in love with his best friend, or when she had started to at least feel something in return, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He would give her all the time she needed to figure out her own feelings.

He watched as she got to her paws and brushed against him, ears heating at the gesture. There was no need to address whatever this way just yet; they would figure it out in due time, and he would never want to push her into another relationship when her first was still hanging in the balance. As much as Harrierstrike knew Whitesmoke had never really loved Honeystep in the way that she seemed to love him, he feared his brother would try to get back with her once he got over himself. But that was not now, and Harrierstrike was determined to enjoy the time he had now with Honeystep. "Always," the dark brown tabby answered her question, voice just as soft as hers as he smiled back.