surviving

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    ooc: Hansen’s gonna have to punch Asher in the face again bc Asher’s never going to stop being a little shit also DISCORD YES I’m @siloueta#6916


    ic: Asher wasn’t sure why the pot was the straw that broke the camel’s back— maybe the thought that no one he was family with would ever cook in it ever again, or something. And it was making some spaghetti-o’s that he probably wouldn’t even eat. What the hell. He got to his feet abruptly, and for a second, just sort of stared at the pot but really at nothing, his eyes unfocused. Then, he said, “I’m going upstairs. To unpack.” He was pretty sure there was a voice crack in there, but he didn’t have time to be embarrassed because he felt like a ticking time bomb of just a shit ton of feelings, so he grabbed his bag, slung it over a shoulder, and made his way up the stairs as fast as he could without arousing suspicion.

    He guessed which room was his— the one Claire wasn’t in— and slammed the door behind himself. Slumped to the floor, placed a hand over his mouth, felt himself tear up and felt it drip down his chin. God, he needed to pull himself together. He wasn’t some soap opera protagonist.

    Claire nodded as she rubbed her eyes tiredly. From the lack of sleep she didn't watch what she said and muttered "thank you daddy...goodnight"she turned and curled into the stuffed animal not having a care in the world but to enjoy the sleep that she was now blessed with. Her features softened as she fell asleep and she looked like a little angel from above.

    ooc: "mad cooking skills" me too also prob stupid but what is discord

    Display Spoiler




    a challenging gleam appeared in her eye when he brushed off the question and walked off but she chose not to challenge him. instead she plopped down on the couch and stretched as big as she could. "guess if you uh, have a problem with it, youll just have to move me yourself" she jokingly teasing him before looking up to him "i can help keep guard since ashers throwing a temper tantrum?" she hoped asher heard her but felt kinda bad at the same time. then the thought passed her mind, they were alone together and suddenly the silence felt awkward to her, her face fell hot as she thought about what shed said earlier, not thinking about ever facing him alone after that. she laughed nervously suddenly feeling her whole body go hot and she tried not to make eye contact with hansen fearing hed see her blushing


    //JEREMY WOULD FEEL SO BAD THO OMG lets do it

    https://discord.gg/NqrvyUr !!!


    Jeremy wasn't sure what happened first. Hearing the door slam in his room where he was pretty sure Asher was now residing, or hearing Claire call him 'daddy'. He wasn't sure which one rattled him more. He hesitated, then brushed a hand over her forehead. Poor girl...all alone after shit hit the fan. One week and already she was calling a total stranger dad. Damn it ! Damn this stupid world - whatever god was out there that failed to protect them!


    Pulling out of the room, he closed the door quietly, before glancing toward's Asher's room. He had slammed the door pretty hard...had - was he upset? Jeremy felt a fresh wave of shame course through him. It wasn't fair, him snapping so much at the guy. I mean, he had lived for a week in the same house his dad shot himself and his siblings, and he stated before that he had depression already to deal with...Now he had Hansen pushing him down, with seemingly no reason.

    He gripped his arm, hard, and glanced towards the end of the hall, where the no-trespassing room lay, carefully closed. Then he turned his gaze upon his old room, hesitated once, then trotted to it.

    Knocking gently on the door, almost too gently to hear, Jeremy swallowed nervously. "I - uh - im sorry, Asher, for yelling at you..." he opened his mouth to explain, then shook his head, "If...if you need anything - food, water, anything, ill be downstairs, alright?" he swallowed again, then pressed his forehead against the door, frustration welling in his chest. He wanted to say more, but didn't know what. Instead, he brushed a hand through his dirty blonde hair and finally went back to cooking.


    He glanced up when Brooke pounced on the cough, sighing a bit. But he wasn't mad anymore, so he let himself smile ever so slightly, "it wouldn't be hard, seeing as your so small for a ninteen-year-old," he told her, teasingly though it was a bit half-hearted. He frowned at Brooke's teasing of Ash, and he gave her a stern look, "considering the shit he just went through? I don't blame him. And neither should you, miss I-drink-my-pain-away," he said, again with a sigh. He wondered if her cruel humor was some kind of coping mechanism. Focused on his spagetti-os, he didn't notice her blushing. Once more, his eyes were distant and his mouth set in a firm line, thoughtful. Troubled.



    (c)trexgirl

    ooc: i really feel like asher should end up the mom figure tbh like hansen and brooke should eventually end up together but asher just ends up the mom. totally a plot worth playing

    //so sorry for spamming omgg


    but no Discord is pretty kid friendly - it's just another kind of Skype, but better i assume. Like a chat thread

    BUT IM A NOOB WITH DISCORD IVE NO IDEA HOW TO WORK SERVES SOBB

    ooc: spam away i love it yall are awesome haha im a lonely ass person who doesnt really use things other then facebook so im a noob on it too lmao


    ic: brooke glared at him for a moment when he joked about her height and drinking issues but she ignored it as she walked up to him and stood next to him in the kitchen. "so you grew up here?" she asked cautiously remembering how he liked to avoid questions she asked. she pushed slightly closer to him and looked around "its a nice place. nice homey vibe" she added before yawning and stretching once more still standing a little too close to hansen.

    "i liked teasing people. it covers up my awkwardness, theres always something to joke about" she explained trying to make up for the words shed said "sorry about today. ive always been a mess" she looked down still even at how close she was, still not wanting to meet his gaze

    Claire rolled in her sleep. Her dreams started off good until she begun seeing the memory of her parents killing themselves. She started to cry in her sleep and yelling "no mommy please don't go." Claire couldn't wake herself up like normal, so she kept twisting and turning harshly.

    brooke breathed in the air that surrounded hensan and lost herself in her mind, quickly snapping back into reality and realizing how awkward she seemed before she heard claire start crying "ill go check on her" she murmered before turning away to check on the child.

    she made her way to the child, opening the door slowly before sitting next to the crying kid, soothing her with a hand on the back and gently words. she wasnt the best with kids but it pained her to see someone hurt like this little 7 year old had

    Claire found herself calming down quickly and her eyes fluttered open with tears still pouring out of them. "T...they k..killed themselves...I...I just turned 7 ...and....they left me" she huffed in between sobs. "I..I want daddy"

    brooke felt pained by the words but knew who she wanted. she got up and walked back to hansen, putting her arm out to touch his wrist "she wants "daddy" she smirked, the words coming out sounded far more sexual then she ment but she still couldnt help but laugh and blush at the same time they left her mouth "can you go calm her down?" she scooted closer trying to read his expression but she quickly dipped her head before realizing she was still touching his arm. she let go and blushed harder before stalking off to the couch and plopping down

    brooke plopped onto the couch, ignoring the world around her. she let her memories play like a tape over and over in her mind. watching every childhood fear, every childhood happieness, sadness and joy. everything that happened to lead her to her today. her head spun over the memories and she sat up opening her eyes blinking away the thoughts as they came. she longed to drink or smoke away her pain but she realized those days were over. she couldnt slip away into the intoxicated mind everytime something went wrong. she felt happiness in it all though, maybe she could start over this way? she could sober up, and be an adult. she decided on doing that, but she still longed to drink the liquor.

    she stretched out on the couch and realized how small she actually was. she felt cold against the empty couch, and it felt wrong to brooke, but she ignored it as her head pounded and she just lay there silently. waiting for either sleep to overtake her, or someone to comfort her. whichever came first

    Asher was busy feeling sorry for himself, leaning against the wall and letting the tears flow and shit. He didn't even realize that Hansen had been upstairs too until he heard his voice coming from behind the door, like how his mom would talk to him after they had screaming matches, 'cause of money or his grades or getting in trouble at school or locking himself in his room for dinner. Fuck, he missed his mom. Hansen talking to him like it was his fault Asher kept antagonizing him made him feel worse. He could've made a snarky comment, and he was thinking of saying something like "you sound like my mom" or "are you gonna ground me" but afraid his voice would crack, he just said "alright."


    He realized Claire in the next room was also upset. He could hear her, and she sounded eerily like his sister, making him wonder for a second if Lara was haunting him, if he wasn't supposed to leave. He wiped his eyes. Whatever the hell it was, he wasn't gonna let the kid just sit there upset. He'd had to comfort Lara a couple times, when she'd skin her knee, but this was way worse than a skinned knee. He took a deep breath, and stepped into the next room where Claire was. "Hey, hey, it's alright." He smiled to her in a way that was hopefully comforting. "You're not alone, alright? You're not gonna be alone again." He sat down on the bed. He was so bad at this shit. He glanced around, and offered her a tissue to wipe her face. "S'alright, we're gonna have some fu-- some freaking spaghetti-o's. Ya want some spaghetti-o's?" He tried to say it in a goofy voice, to make her laugh or something.


    Jeremy continued to mix around the canned soup, frowning a bit as he felt Brooke draw closer and closer. Was she still drunk? Did she know nothing of personal space? He could feel his cheeks beginning to burn, but he continued to focus on the food. At her questions, he simply said, "yea, and yep - homes tend to be homey." But he didn't understand that. This home hadn't been homey since...He swallowed as he watched Brooke leave, suddenly fidning himself alone in the living room. He kept staring in the direction she had gone, then turned his eyes back to the stove.


    He continued to mix the soup, watching the red, chunky liquid revolve around his spoon. It was weird, being in his house with so many people as well. It was always just him. Or, no, it was always him and his dad -


    BANG!

    please, please please please OH GOD PLEASE

    BANG BANG

    stop - no, no, oh jesus stop top it stop IT STOP IT

    BANG

    im sorry im so, so sorry, im SORRY

    BANG

    just me and you kiddo, again the world. Me and you. I love you, don't you ever fucking forget that

    Bang


    Jeremy let out a choked cry when pain lanced up his hand. Stumbling backwards, clutching his stinging palm, he stared in confusion at his surroundings. He was in the kitchen. Burned his hand on the stove. He tried to take deep breathes, but everything hurt too much.

    He had been back there.

    He had been back there.

    Oh jesus christ - he pressed his hand against his temple, groaning as a feeling he could only describe as despair swept through him.

    Five times. Five fucking times. Five, five, five five five FIVE TIMES.


    This wasn't right, he only went back there in his dreams. That was why he didn't sleep, because he relived it there, not here - not when he was awake! Why was this happening?




    (c)trexgirl

    "Hell yeah," said Asher, grinning at her. Oh, shit, Hansen was gonna murder him or something. He was teaching the children to swear. What next? Maybe he'd teach them how to shoot a gun. Or like, how to smoke a cool cigarette while driving over the speed limit. The mom thing was a little weird-- it weirded Asher out a bit-- cause, fuck, he could barely care for himself, he shouldn't be responsible for another human being. Maybe this was a trauma thing. He wouldn't be surprised. Trying to find someone else as a placeholder for dead parents, or something.


    The other part was weird. He hadn't actually heard Claire call Hansen dad. "Well, I guess. Sometimes." His parents divorced, so he couldn't advocate for that. His mom hated his dad, and the favor was returned. He was about to say something else when he heard what sounded like someone stubbing their toe or something, probably Hansen, based on the fact that it didn't sound like Brooke. Normally he wouldn't care, but considering there were fucking zombies outside he poked his head out of the room. "You okay?"