Always weigh what I've got against what I left;; private

This is an archived version of FeralFront. While you can surf through all the content that was ever created on FeralFront, no new content can be created.
If you'd like some free FeralFront memorabilia to look back on fondly, see this thread from Dynamo (if this message is still here, we still have memorabilia): https://feralfront.com/thread/2669184-free-feralfront-memorabilia/.

    ✘✘✘ - In the prime moment Argus felt her life clash with Obscuro's; she was still in the process of defining herself. Differentiating herself from Obscuro the mother, the scorned, the beaten, the broken into herself- into Argus; a thousand eyes, a beast, aloof, the unburdened. It was hard, hard to find a line between the two when they were slo close together- when their soul was the same. They both- they all cared too much, they have been hurt; it was just Argus's decision to never allow herself to be hurt again. remove the mask - i wiLL NOT LOWER MYSELF FOR YOU.


    Between jumping the ledge, before giving herself completely away into freedom- Kakuja flew overhead. Her companion and herself growing further and further apart, Argus seeing her less and less- the bird growing independent. Argus was intrigued, and she spread out her own bone colored wing for the other to land on, drawing the wing close when she did, and watching the other. Without words, without saying as it usually did, but this time was different. Kakuja held a hawk feather in her beack, and when she dropped it, there was a small slip of paper that hit the ground too


    -decided to ki-

    in littlestar's handwriting.


    It was easy to jump to the conclusion- but it wasn't much jumping the gun here. Really what else could it be? It was her fault. She had instilled this weakness inside her daughter. She had shown her the wrongness of her ways- and she still traveled it. Some things ArgusObscuro really did jump to conclusions, but rarely was she ever wrong. It was with dread in her heart that she abandoned her home. Dashing past the dark eerie woods to the familiar redwoods. The thicket red and the far cry of hawks circling in the air, Kakuja's cries joining them.


    ObscuroArgus was a pale comparison to ArgusObscuro, her once black fur now a stark white, and coarse, ribs showing, wings dulled; But it was the proud way she walked, the way she held herself- no longer concealed as she rushed towards the border. Her wings breezing through the wind as pale red visionaries flickered to and fro- searching for the monarch- for the daughter she never had, the regret, the last one alive tHAT SHE COULDN'T SAVE. She jused hoped there was still time, time to stop whatever it was that the little leader was thinking- no you dON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING.


    Realize crippled her at the sight of the ashen speck flickering through the trees. And with a careful once over Argus(...Obscuro?) descended, moving to land before the monarch with fear, and relief in her eyes and it burned. Burned to realize what she had done to her, what she was going to do to herself. It was the only thing keeping her from out right attackingembracing, pleading with her.


    "Littlestar"


    littlesoldier g. d.  

    //hope this works as a good starter!

    NOTHING LESS THAN A THOUAND

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — it's perfect <3 & trigger warning for this


    The path lead to her end. It was coming, it had no stop. But guess what? She'd known that ever since she'd promised to kill Blindfold in his sleep as he beat her face in. She'd known that revenge came with consequences. She would be given a sliver of vengance and justice for what the world did to her but in return (as nothing in this world came free), she would be hurt. It was even possible she would be killed. But the world liked to twist it about. For it seemed the one who would conjure the end of her path would be by her own making. Her own paws would move to her throat and squeeze, restricting, killing. And as dark as the idea sounded, and as good as things were going for her people and her currently, she still thought of it. When Ichigo, her Dad, had returned, she'd been happy. Yes, she really had.

    But it came back. It followed her in her sleep. It haunted her upon her wakening. It buried itself into her skin like a maggot.

    She was infected with it and she doubted there was a cure. However it didn't scare her anymore. She could look at her kids, smile at how adorable and loving they were, how much she loved them, and then she could look away and think of slitting her own damn wrists at 8.00pm exactly. It didn't matter that she had family surrounding her. The damage had been done. Mercy's death, Inu's death, Ichigo's disappearance, her fathers deaths and disappearances, her tortures, the injuries sustained upon her once pretty body. The world had smashed its obsidian hammer against her. Perhas it'd taken it too far. Perhaps whatever resided up there grimaced when they realized what they'd done to her. They would cover their mouths with their hands and shake their heads at her emptiness, maybe thinking that if they hadn't done the last hammer smash then she would be able to recover. But then, as all gods and as life goes, they would turn away and move onto the next poor soul to break.


    Littlestar moved through the redwood forest. The night was dark. She didn't seem to be thinking of much. Her mouth was set in a thin line and she moved quickly, golden eyes staring at nothing in particular. Then a shape of white descended before her and landed on the ground where she was about to stand. It was a shock, it was a jumpscare, but she couldn't muster much but a little flinch. The dark grey tabby lifted her head and bared her teeth at the intruder, stepping back and flashing her raptor claws threateningly. But when she looked harder, she saw the similarities to the one that haunted her as every face did. Obscuro? No, not her. Body was white, wings were dulled, ribs were prominent. But then she looked into those dim red eyes and saw the burning emotions. Fear. Relief? The Monarch didn't know how to react, she truly didn't. So she just gave a singular hiss, ears pinned to her cranium. Then she said her name. And she knew who it was, or who she thought it was. It couldn't be anyone else. The one that'd set a baby before her paws, a corpse, and did what she did to Shine.


    Traiiitoor.


    The pits of rage in her mind whispered things. She felt thick flames crawling up her throat and she wanted to welcome it, to let the fire envelop her entire body and soul so that she could turn Obscuro into a fine black powder. Her mind didn't have that power right now. She would always have rage but right now, it wouldn't do well to blow up. Not... not now. So she kept the rage to her glowing golden eyes and let the words that she'd once uttered to her echo in her ears. "Maybe then you'll understand that this path doesn't lead to death- but endless suffering." A pause. "Don't worry littlestar, you'll understand soon enough" Littlestar recalled all too well. "I understood, ya know. I know that this isn't just death. I know it's a cycle. I know that you've probably come here to claim my life too." She didn't understand the fear or relief. But she didn't care. She slumped, her shoulders forwards. The claws loosened. The golden eyes remained vengeful but she looked less threatening.


    "How's the war path, little leader?"

    It's great. I've never ever felt more free to serve justice.

    We hate liars.

    ✘✘✘ - It was slow going, it was a brutal batter of wills where Argus fought with herself to keep her new convictions. She could no longer justify the voice inside her head as evil, the inner demon- the inner hollow had long since been devoured. Now it was just about evolution. It was about wanting to live, not wanting to hurt so much. She looked on the world apathetically- tried not to get attached, and those who she did she held closely, digging her claws in and dragging tHEM DOWN WITH HER.


    Littlestar was one such creature.


    She repressed a rueful smile at the open hostility, now fading into recognition blooming across the other's face. Really, what had littestar done to deserve her? Everything the beast ever tried to hold close ended up just the same, at least littelstar was alive- maybe ArgusObscuro should be content to just watch the other live. But the note scarred her, the torn letter reminding her of a small dagger, of bloodied sands- and the reason she joined Ichigo all those years ago in the afterlife.


    There was a tenseness between them, and it didn't fade even as the beast smiled encouragingly towards littlestar, fading from her expression to pinch worryingly when the other slumped- not in defeat but in apathy. Her words were cool and it made the worry spike. Come to take her life? No... Maybe she should have- it would be a mercy to end this cycle, to ease littlestar's soul- but Argus was selfish. She didn't want to be alone anymore, she couldn't handle killing another one.


    Obscuro had always been elusive with her answers, in the end maybe- she was brutal with her honesty- dramatics all to prove a point- to make her see reason. Argus was apathetic and honest when it suited her. Lying here would do nothing, littlestar would be one of the few to be able to pick apart her lies- maybe she didn't know her all that well, but Argus did. Littlestar had a good head on her shoulders at the worse of times.


    so why?whywhyWHY WHY?


    It buzzed in her head, and she was strike with a similar rage, no longer draining but empowering. Her eyes alit with a grow and the black around her pupil grew until her eyes were pinpricks of red in a sea of black. "That would be too easy for you." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the outright truth. She flicked her tail angrily, wings flaring as her blood boiled. "Y'know, it was because of you that riverclan is alive- be glad shining is only injured. His clan would have been in ruin if it wern't-" for willow, for warfstache, they reminded me of hope and when they left- all i had was you- all i have left is you. How dare you try to leave me.


    "I should be thanking you, for freeing me from mercy." For reminding me of the monster i was "Should i do the same little leader? pluck the life you created? The family you have here?" There was a sultry purr in her words, turning into venom at the implications. just the two of us- let me kill your family, let me set you free from attachments. Let me give you back your purose- revenge. "I haven't come to kill you- but maybe.. maybe it was to free you- would you like that?"


    It was buzzing still, it was stinking her eyes and itching under her skin. It didn't take much digging from Demitri to get some recent news on the place. Litlestar's bouncing family had just the right amount, enough tragedy to trigger littelstar's own insanity- she was sure. She felt her own tiwl, her aura sparking as Argus reached out--


    "All you have to do is ask-"


    With her mind she aimed to send these visions, with vivid clarity mental claws digging deep and rooting them. Of littlestar's youngest stumbling on the border freshly tortured, of the rest falling into grief-easy prey. Of Zacktov's cackle echoing in the sewers of her home. Of black blood under littlestar's skin and her fire bring out. Of Ichigo forsaking her, of a public exile, and the hints of blindfold's smile on that day.


    "Little leader"


    It did not escape her, the irony of what she sent- of how similar their stories would be then. Maybe she would be creating a monster in littestar too- but it was better than this- better than trying to kill herself- she would have conviction and in the end- she would defeat the monster. She would be the hero because she slayed the great monster.

    NOTHING LESS THAN A THOUAND

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — She was slumping because she failed to care. There were very few things that she cared about in the present day. Her little family, her clans wellbeing and nothing else. Once those two were safe, secure and defenitely okay with her not being there, she would end it. Littlestar hadn't many any promises to anyone that she wouldn't kill herself. She had outright.. told her daughter she wanted to. Sick and cruel and selfish but it was a million times better then lying to her. The dark grey tabby watched Argus's face contort into worry. She noticed but she didn't comment on it. Why would she care for her? After all that had happened and all that'd been done? It didn't make sense.


    Too easy for me.

    Her golden eyes grew darker and she nodded, baring her soul that had been forcibly bared many times to complete strangers. "It would." The feline agreed on a note too quiet and neutral, her ears twitching. There were hard parts of it but after death, there was nothing. That was what everyone told her at least. Once she passed away, it just all ended, she'd be gone, nothing but a memory and some rotting corpse that used to be hers. She wouldn't worry anymore, about her family or her clan. Someone else would take over that role and maybe they'd be way better at it. Because of me? At this she gave a soft snort, disagreeing. If it weren't for her, RiverClan would be more then thriving. They'd be happy. Shine wouldn't be at utter loss every damn day, which she could sometimes feel through the bond they had and Lessa wouldn't be broken. She knew she was, she just knew. The little smile the pine marten had given the day she'd exiled her had not been a content, accepting one. It was a broken one. She knew what was happening was happening, no getting past that.


    Littlestar doesn't know what to say. Thanks for taking away her mercy? That didn't.. it didn't compute. Everything was so hard to understand. "I haven't come to kill you- but maybe.. maybe it was to free you- would you like that?" Littlestar lifts her head slowly. Killing her would be the only way to free her. How else could she be freed? She didn't like the venom in the others tone. It was only an implication but she didn't understand it quite yet. Too big and too scary.

    "All you have to do is ask-"


    Claws dug deep into the flesh of her mind. Images that were far too like a memory to be comfortable. The youngest, Liquor, stumbling. Bleeding. Someone attacked him. Her little baby- "It's okay." She whispered to him. He didn't look up at her, kept on stumbling, blood dripping from his nose and his mouth like a faucet. It vanished in a plume of black smoke and an unnerving cackle sounded out. She bit her lip, blood coming to the surface, bright red. Angry, angry, she was exploding in this memory, unsure of whether it was real or not. "Get out of my head." Littlestar mumbled faintly, her breath rising and falling, quicker and quicker. Ichigo, angry, disappointed. Disowning her as her father, exiling her, what had she done- what have I done? But the breaking point was the pink tigers smile. It dug deep and it hit home, defenitely a memory. A smile that lifted his lips into a smug smirk, he lifted his paw and it slammed into her tiny face. She was thrown backwards, jaw snapping so loudly. Inu's death entered her mind, not a trick of Argus's, moving but it's own accord. Blindfold's smile- "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" She screamed, tears that were black with ash trickling down her cheeks. Embers flew from her mouth as she heaved, bile rising. Sick, sick. Warped, distorted, get out, get out.


    ✘✘✘ - Argus laughed, it was mocking and insane, and she pushed deeper into her little leader's head. poking, prodding -pushing. Why would i do that, little leader?' In the same honey tone the beast would echo her own thoughts. Do you know what it's like to make a deal with a demon for power? To know that you are powerless when it comes to everyone's whims? You have a father again, what if i took that away too?' She would let the illusion fade to black with an attempt to send a final message; the scent of fire, with a distant boom of explosions. Fire consuming the camp, fire fire- fire watch them burn with me little leader!' It was anarchy, it was insanity. It was everything Argus stood for and everything she once feared - what would happen if i lost everything? I... I don't think i would be myself anymore.


    It was not what Littlestar should stand for. Listen to me, you don't know what you're wishing for


    "I want to help you" Argus'-whisper's tone was harsh and tender, her eyes vulnerable- there was a pleading look on her expression. A hidden nearness- an inch from the same insanity from- Zacktok. "But I'm selfish, So I've come to the decision" Argus' words were laced with a conviction, and the white wolf felt her own eyes harden, felt the sting ebb slowly and if possible- the hole grow bigger. "Do you want to know what that was?"


    It was so easy to hide it behind a laugh, behind her insanity. She lifted her head back and she cackled. The redwoods around them echoing the sound- or was it her? It was easy to hide it all behind a smile- let the fear settle in littlestar. "If you die- well, you won't be alone in the afterlife for long." It wasn't a suicide pact- it was a murder pact of a sorts. If littlestar died, then everyone she knew would too. "Unless, of course- you manage to kill me before..." It was an ultimatum, and it was with the same words that the beast offered a sincere smile. Reassured- not int littlestar- but in herself.

    NOTHING LESS THAN A THOUAND

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — The poking pushed deeper, an invasion of her privacy and her mind. She felt bared, ripped open, her claws armed and ready to slash into the face she couldn't quite see. Angry hot tears fell and the sweet as honey tone sounded out through the chaos and screaming in her mind- let me out, get out, let me out, get out- and she tried to take a step forwards and shove at Argus to stop it but she stumbled instead and fell, her legs jelly-like. "You have a father again, what if i took that away too?" NO! Littlestar opened her mouth but illusions of fire, explosions sounding out that were awfully similar to the camp wall explosion, smell of fire. She heaved again and still the bile didn't exit. The camp was burning, it was probably her fault, that fire was too familiar to be a strangers. It faded off, it seemed that the claws that dug deep grooves into her mind were retracting a little bit however they did remain a threatening presence just lingering off to the side. Still she shook, eyes shut closed. She wants my family dead, not me. My family, she wants to let me know.


    "I want to help you." The sudden change from insanity to tenderness was too much for her. Argus had just shown her images that would now forever be in her mind, she had just mentally provoked and tortured her, and now she was claiming she wanted to help her. If you wanted to help that was not the way to do it. Her mind sobbed at the invasion, holding itself, barely, together. "No." Littlestar whispered, embers still falling from her mouth. But it didn't seem the other cared because she continued speaking anyways, even as her fragmented heart pounded wildly. "If you die- well, you won't be alone in the afterlife for long." Finally the Monarch's golden eyes cracked open. The brilliant glow was gone, reduced to nothing but a dark and faded look. Her pupils were tiny black dots drowning in a sea of gold. You're not implying what I think you are. Oh, but she was. She was. It was a game to her, wasn't it? A game to make her suffer. This way, it hurt and that way, it hurt even worse. Both had endings but with one came more endings for many other people. It killed her. It really, really fucking did. She couldn't get her.. her eternal rest without promising the death of her family and her clan. And that was just too much. She could never lay down, she was trapped in this fucking hell hole of a world all because she had a family and people she actually cared about.


    Panic set in. Desperation, almost. She would do anything to break it, to ensure the safety of them so that she could be free of the chains this world had strapped upon herself. Breathing grew heavy until- "Unless, of course- you manage to kill me before..." There- there was no question then. Wordlessly the domestic feline sprung upon the beast, dagger in hand, and attempted to plunge it into her shoulder and her chest, again and again and again, promising the 'safety' of her family that she needed so badly.

    ✘✘✘ - Argus was a simple minded creature, in that she created chaos everywhere she went, she left impressions of death and insanity. She prooved a point to the world that she would not stand for kindness, she would not stand for justice-nor herself. She stood for the ability of un-altered freedom to kill, the torture as she pleased and when she pleased. It was in this world that Argus has created around her that her attachments into the world became a steady hit list, it would be a lie to say she wasn't guilty- that when she looked back her own head mimicked much of littlestar's own.


    But before the storm there was a calm, and her head felt clear as it never had in so many years, and she felt justified in her insanity.Free to manipulate as she pleased, to hurt. Littlestar this way, because her ghosts were silent and she found herself for who she was- Found what she became and was finally free to act on it.


    Ash licked Littlestar's maw and the lingering mental connection she felt the phantom burn of it on her tongue.She grinned despite the grittiness of it and welcomed Littlestar's attack with open arms. A similar cackle spilling from her maw now as Littlestar lost herself in her hate, in her fire. She had never wanted to make littlestar an enemy, she had wanted to teach her- to mold her into a happy ending- but she would not listen- she choose her own path and Argus took to the extreme of her's. It was only a matter of time before they clashed. Fear brought her here, fear made her torture littlestar, and she felt justified letting littlestar feel the same fear. To give her a taste of what was to come- maybe not in such a way but hopefully over just as quick. One thing Argus still felt was the uselessness to make her suffer.


    Black blood splattered on the ground in quick succession as she took the blunt of the attack. Getting stabbed twice- re-opening the large black scar from the three pronged dragon claws. She hissed in pain and instinctively moved to swipe at littlestar's face. Aiming for the eyes or muzzle with her own rusted claws.


    Argus was simple minded in that she were selfish. She lived to seek her own fulfillment, and when she couldn't- she made projects and rode of their highs. She was complex in that she weaved her image, dangerous and aloof, caring, genuine but never trustworthy. A savage beast with insanity clouding her head and spreading it to others as if it were a infection. Hurt and betrayl was in her future, as it were in her past- as she accepted it to be a constant. A cycle that had no end, the only choice was weither you were the one who hurt- or you were the one who got hurt. She choose to distance herself from her friends, from the people she couldn't see as expendable- people that would break her if they left. She forced their hands- she made them choose to leave her so it hurt less. But it still hurt- It sTILL HURTS.


    The blood in her mouth felt like ash, and she weezed between laughs her next words. "Good, littleleader- you still have that conviction. If you need a reason to live- live for them- live for your vengeance and petty justice." To kill me "How is the war path gonig, little leader? I never found the time to ask again, did i?"


    If she managed to pull littelstar from attacking her chest- The beast would sweep low, twisting behind littlestar, wing extended- shooting out to hopefully knock her feet from under her. If she manged to- in the same moment she would aim to press her paw down on the leader's back- between her shoulders. "Shall I leave you a scar? A memento such a wondrous occasion."


    //ahh rushed at the end

    TO SEE JUSTICE, AND DO NOTHING