Now or never ;; open, Lit needed, Hestia admits her feelings in a cute way?

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    HESTIA & SHATTEREDKIT

    She could only think of that note and how alone Lit was feeling. It hurt her emotionally. Something she had no clue she could feel. She was sick to her stomach. Physically sick when she had found a note outside her house. She was shook to the core. Straight to her very heart and soul. The demon was physically sick thinking about it.


    The female wanted to tell Lit everything she could. Wanted Lit to understand just what she meant to her. What was better than this way here? She had a bunch of papers in a binder that she was toting towards Lit's house. She was going to hope that this binder would be what Lit needed. Each one was a note to Lit that Hestia had made. Yes, she was going to admit her feelings for the leader she had come to love. Yes, she loved Lit. She loved the leader in a way the demon could not explain. If she didn't tell her now, she may never get a chance. Hestia dreaded this thought. So, here she was with a binder on Lit's door and she was setting it there for her to find.


    The front cover held the words; I realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you'd been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since I met you, you've never left.


    Note One of Five


    Between this note and the next she would see a small quote like the one from the binders cover. This one reads; If you only knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me.


    Note Two of Five


    Another little quote was between these notes. This one reading; I have late night conversations with the moon, he tells me about the sun and I tell him about you.


    Note Three of Five


    Yet another quote was here. This reading; Just remember, we are under the same sky looking at the same moon.


    Note Four of Five


    Another quote that reads; I choose you. And I'll choose you, over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you.


    Note Five of Five


    The last page is a picture of Lit cut in the shape of a heart from before Hestia was murdered. Then the back cover held one last quote once closed. This reads; Yeah, she might be bad, but when she smiles I see the good in her.


    Yes, she would let the book rest there before moving off to her own home. If Lit felt like it, she would come talk to her. If not, then it would be a harsh blow. One she would be forced to live with, but she would serve Lit forever. No matter what happened.


    littlesoldier g. d.


    "Hestia" | "Shatteredkit"

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — oo shit this is too damn CUTE


    Lying in her bed and sitting in her thoughts, believing herself to be the most damned soul on planet earth despite being surrounded by five beautiful kids of her own making. The tabby presses her nose into her scarred paws, eyes closed as she envisions building a barrier around the bad thoughts, penning them in like cows. She then imagines compressing the barrier until every bad thought is squished into nothing-ness. People tell her this works to keep them away, to simply imagine them being destroyed. But as soon as she opens her eyes, they come flooding back, filling her mind with dangerous ideas. Just look at the kids. She mumbles to herself, nosing the bundles of fur and reminding herself they're there. The tabby exhales softly, knowing she needs to get up and walk around to distract herself before she gets crazy. So she gently disentangles herself from the lot of five and limps out the door, down the lobby where wooden shards lay from Ichigo's entrance. That's the one good thing about this week. It almost makes her happy but then she remembers Inu and her little light collapses again.


    A binder, big and clearly full of something. She frowns, crouching down and peering at the front cover which reads; I realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you'd been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since I met you, you've never left. Littlestar picks the binder up, believing it to be a story or something someone had dropped by her doorstep. She knew it probably wasn't a good idea to read it, especially if it was someone elses, but the words captivated her as she imagined it being directed towards herself. Imagine. A pitiful little snort escapes her and she flips open the first page, only for her own damn name to catch her eyes. Littlestar. That IS me. This is mine. Her heart picks up a little, wheezing as it hasn't been full of this much positivity for a while now. It was small but significant considering the state of her mind at this very moment. Her eyes scan over the words written down on paper, hardly beliving these words are meant for her. Who wrote this? In HawkClan? She can't imagine anyone. Not many people love her, especially not to this extent. Her eyes immediately zoom to the bottom where 'Love always, Hestia' is written and her eyes widen. Hestia? The loyal girl who had joined a couple of months ago, who was murdered by an Exiler and came back during her own funeral? Hestia, who provided her comfort after she found out about Shine, who was always by her side? Loved her like.. like this?


    Much Like I would die for you, my love. "You can't." Littlestar whispers, fretting over the idea that someone would die for her. You can't call me that, you can't love me like that. You're only gonna get hurt by me.


    I have already fallen for your beauty, as you are beautiful to me. The tabby scrambles for the idea that someone finds her beautiful. Someone looks past her disabilities and her scars that line not only her face but her wrists which means something very difficult and dangerous all in one. Someone sees that in her and it just so happens to be Hestia.


    This is for you, as when you hurt, I hurt. Littlestar lowers her head. "I can't." Slips off her tongue, it feels like bile, ghastly and disgusting. Her heart is warm at the idea but it's frozen too, overwhelmed by it all. She can't comprehend it. Hestia is in love with her and she can't comprehend it. Littlestar slowly flips to the last page, staring at the picture of her and then the quote. Good. The feline blushes. In me. But there is no good in me. There couldn't be, not after what she's seen and what she's done.


    The tabby was once again stuck, not knowing what to do. Hestia loved her but she couldn't.. she couldn't reciprocate the feelings and she just knew it would devastate the yellow furred feline despite how emotionless she seemed. Not after what she'd written on those papers- she would die for me. How unlucky did one have to be to fall in love with her? Very, very unlucky. She thought, biting her tongue until she drew blood. The tabby was emotionally exhausted and despite the uplift those notes provided, she still felt empty, knowing she had to make a decision fast. I have to talk to her. I can't just.. leave it. Littlestar straightened up, picked up the binder in her mouth and limped to Hestia's den, briefly glancing through the window to see the yellow furred feline waiting. She heaved. She's waiting. I can't do this, I can't. I'm not used to this, I don't know what to say, what to do. "Hestia.." Littlestar muttered, knocking softly on the door. She's scared to see the others face especially with the knowledge of how Hestia viewed her. She loved her. She was about to look at someone that loved her. "Do you want to talk? I.. uh, I wanna talk, I mean." Oh god, she's a stammering mess, cheeks hot under her fur, anxieties running wild. Littlestar truly has no clue how this will pan out but god knows she is scared.


    HESTIA & SHATTEREDKIT

    //I have been working on this for a few days which is where my muse went xD


    Lit was here at her door, which she had purposely left wide open. Her albino hawk, Selo was settled on his perch and Shatteredkit was in the bedroom that was her own, asleep. Mal was asleep as well, as far as she knew. Also in her own built on room. So, they had all the time in the world to talk, and Hestia loved just the idea of that. The girl would take what was to come, good or bad. She would always love Lit and she knew this. It was a strange feeling, to say the least.


    But, she knew very well that her Lit may never love her. Even if she faked moving on for Lit's sake, she would never love anyone but Lit. It was a special place in her heart and it would never belong to another. In this way, she was like Bill. It was interesting, really. She was like Bill. She was him. No matter how she tried to look at it, she was Bill. She was always going to be a demon. She would always be emotionless to others. She would always be evil. She would never be anything more.


    Yet, Lit brought out something she had not known was there. The part of her that was Henri. The part of her that was mortal, and it scared the hell out of her. Why was she even part mortal? Because of her other father. Henri left her a mess of emotions and mortality conflicts. Yes, it was this that messed the demon up. It was this that was leading to this conversation happening. Part of her wanted to curse her fathers name. Both of them, and yet..


    She wanted to find one of them and ask them about love. Well, only one of them, really. Henri was her best bet, as Bill was much like her and that would spell disaster. The influence he could hold over her. He could take what little humanity she had away. Before Lit, she would have wished for such a thing. Now? Now she wishes to cling to the last of her humanity.


    She only wanted to feel something for once. She needed to feel something. This was her chance to shine, she supposed. She was a Cipher at soul, but her heart was Leonidas. "Yes? I would love to just talk with you." She answered with a soft smile playing her lips. She was going to be honest with Lit and answer anything the Leader had to ask.


    "Hestia" | "Shatteredkit"


    //STaLKs and trying not to fangirl. LOOK AT LIT N ALL HER CRUSHES. CAERA v HESTIA????? CAERA IN ONE CORNER< HESTIA IN ANOTHER. GRAB YOUR POPCORN. THE FIGHT BEGINS??? ITS A WW LOVE LIT MATCH FOLKS WHO WILL WIN??///

    TAGS ✦ ✧ ✦ — fcuk !!


    Littlestar wondered time and time again what it was like to love someone in that way. Somebody had told her once upon a time that it fucking hurt you. It had shocked her because all the songs and all the stories made love out to be the patron saint. True loves kiss would cure the princess and all that jazz. No fairy tale ever spoke of love hurting you. Especially not true love. She'd been young then though. A spoiled brat reading stupid fairy tales. The flowery lens had been shattered by the Exiles brutality and she'd quickly learned what reality was in this world. Harsh, quick, non discriminative. Sure, she had been beaten time and time again in multiple different ways but so had everyone, perhaps in more subtle ways or perhaps they chose to keep their scars internal. People had stories. People hurt. That was life.


    But love was a factor of love that was held in the positive light. Never before could someone envision love as a rose with many thorns, one touch and your finger would bleed. She had experienced painful love but only for family and friends. She had yet to experience the other type of painful love and if truth be told, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Littlestar licked her scarred lips, offering Hestia a gentle smile as she welcomed her into the room. "Yes? I would love to just talk with you." She stepped into the room, eyes flittering to the kit snoozing on the bed and the birds she had. She took a seat before the yellow furred feline. Littlestar didn't know what to say despite being the one to initiate conversation. Her mind ran on a blank, she wanted to reference something random and totally obscure just to distract from the matter at hand. "I fought your father once, ya know." Littlestar blurted out, unable to let the silence linger any longer. She was nervous, that much was clear. The tabby kneaded her paws and looked off to the side, golden eyes growing distant as she recalled the memory. "It was in a raid, he was attacking HawkClan or some shit like that. I got on my griffin and sliced him up with my dagger, whizzing past him like I was some sorta fuckin' bullet. I nearly got turned into a damn crisp by one of his fireballs but my friend stopped him before that. I made my griffin slam into his body which sent him flying into a tree, he damn near died and had to move into another body. It was a moment, the last time I ever properly saw him." Where are you going with this? She swallowed down spit, shifting anxiously. "Until you came to HawkClan. For a second, I was fucked over. I thought you were him or I thought you were.. I dunno, a hallucination or some shit. But you were.. well, you were you. I saw the Cipher in you and it triggered me. I'm not gonna lie about that. But over time, I've gotten to know you and- and.. you're so unlike that asshole. You're not an evil person, I know you're not. You can't be. Not after what you just wrote in those notes. I heard of stories, my father told me them, that Bill killed his own husband. You would never do that to someone you love. You're not him. And so.. I began to trust you and.. and, shit, fuck, I really don't know what to say next. I just wanted to tell you what you mean to me.. and say that... I- I can't.. I love you but not in.. not in that way." Tears of frustration and shame filled her eyes, willing a spark of that other love to enter her but she couldn't will it and it would not be forced. Littlestar lowered her head, heat filling her cheeks. "I'm really sorry Hestia. I do love you and I do trust you. I do, I do, I do. And I want to love you in that way but I can't. It's not in me."


    Claws dig into her cracked heart and slash vertically.

    Heart breaker.


    this hurt my soul