Within The Walls There Can Be Love

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    Vivian Callings

    I sit next to Eliza and I start eating, keeping quiet as I watched everyone. " Your bleeding Viv" Eliza said and I shrugged her hands off me. Even her hands made my stomach turn. " Not as much as Drew" I spat. I continue eating as the thought of Drew made me uneasy but the memory of me just beating the shit out of him made me feel better. " You've been acting weird Viv." Eliza says and I look at her... " How so?" She just sighs and looks at Alex then at me. " I don't know" She leans in close and starts whispering. " You've been distant, you've been hostile, Carter yelled at you, you and Alex are always close.'' I sigh and I fell the gears in my head shift. "No no... Im just focusing on being number one in the class that's all... Carter just doesn't like Alex and Alex just helps me with moves for training... I have been sleeping in the doctors because I tore some muscle " I lie.. but Eliza took the lie. I sigh as I kept eating.




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    Nixon Kelly


    I smile and I lay her back in the bed as I did. Her face still in my neck and she was on top of me laying down as I was laying down. I stroked her hair with one hand and my other hand stretched to turn off the light . I kept her in my arms as my thoughts got the best of me... I was constantly thinking about work or even her... I wondered what the guys did here.. I wondered if any hit on her or even wondered why she was "single". The thought made me queasy and it made me hold her tighter as if I was flying out to space and she was the thing that kept me to earth." Goodnight" I whisper and I feel my self going into sleep. I was excited to go to work, but even more excited to come back here that is basically my room at this point. I didn't miss my room back at Erudite. It was too cold... too new to be even somewhat cozy. And there was no Naomi and she was the thing I couldnt have without.


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

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    naomi loian

    Stirring slightly in my sleep, I woke up the next morning and stretched out slightly. I looked around my room, light lazily filtering itself into my room faintly through the curtains. Nixon, not surprisingly, was already gone and back at work. Letting a small smile make its way onto my lips, I stand up and walk towards my dresser. Grabbing a simple white tank top and pale jeans, I sighed and fixed my hair into a messy bun. Walking out of my room, I see Julissa waiting rather impatiently outside of my door for me. Hearing the door click, she turns to me and scoffs. "My Naomi, you slept in half an hour." I gasped, my eyes widening. "I-I did?!" I stuttered, rushing off to the training room with Julissa hot on my tail laughing. How could I have slept in for that long? It was practically impossible, considering I never slept in. Sitting down in my usual seat, I grin nervously at the doctor who only smiled. "Glad to see you both could find time out of your very busy schedules to come and see me." He stated lamely, his smile faltering. Julissa and I both shared a nervous laugh. We knew we were so screwed, considering the doctor had already threatened us with double the work if we were ever even a minute late.


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    alexander forias

    Standing up, I huffed out a sigh and walked out to the training area without eating a single bite of anything. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Carter glance towards my direction, but I shrugged it off. Looking around silently, I decided to make the initiates run a mile then do more fight training. But only practicing, not on each other. Sitting down against the wall outside, I leaned my head back on it and allowed myself to just think. None of this was really fair, for anyone. For as long as I could remember, Carter and I had been friends. Until he decided he wanted to become number one. Instead of talking to me, he would train hard and long even after training sessions were over. Just to become the top of our class. And he didn't stop at that, either. He continued to try to become number one. And he did just that. Day after day we split apart until he began to hate me for reasons unknown till just recently. I was beginning to catch the eyes of the higher ups. And he didn't like that all that much, as one would assume.

    my excuse is that i'm young

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    Vivian Callings

    I ran the dam mile, but running made me feel free. It cleared my head. I sigh as we do solo work. I worked on my knife throwing. My mind was occupied all day and I see Alex and I could tell he was distracted as well.

    I felt bad... dragging him into the mess ive unwillingly made. I felt like I made his life worse and more stressful and it made me sad. I knew it wasn't my fault as Carter had some strange vendetta against Alex.

    It was after practice and I was still in there hitting the punching bag. I was there after dinner hitting the punching bag. I was dazed but determined. I even ran an extra mile after everyone was gone. It was now late and I was sweating and bruised and still hitting the target with tears in my eyes as I punched out emotions. I see Alex and I knew it was time to stop. I go to his appartment and I felt dazed... " Im going to shower" I say and i get in there and I wash off all the dirt and blood off me. I stood there with my eyes closed as I hummed the child song " daddys going to buy you the whole wide world" and I let the water cleanse me. Maybe of my sins, but more of my emotion. These days I was starting to feel too much.




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    Nixon Kelly


    I got to Erudite and I could feel myself have that tingly feeling. The feeling of power almost. I fixed my hair and put on business pants and a button up. I even out on a blueish grey tie that made my eyes stand out. My blue eyes always had this charming but cold feel to them.

    I walk into the office and I see everyone was busy. My assistant walked next to me. Funny how I was new and I had an assistant. But that's how Erudite worked. The smartest were at the top and if I acted like the boss, They would see my confidence and treat me like one.

    I go into my office as the head of Erudite came in to greet me. " Hello" I say as I go through my paperwork and research that was brought to me by the staff. " I've noticed you haven't really been in Erudite much" she says and narrows her eyes at me. " You don't go out... Your room light is never on" I smile and fixed my tie " Well as soon as your test scores are higher than mine, then we can talk about what I do on my free time. Besides if you want to know about my free time, I guess we could talk about your affair" I say as I looked at my research papers. I hear her sigh and then the sound of my door opening and closing and I chuckled to myself. Faking confidence made me have even more confidence.


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

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    naomi loian

    The doctor continued to drone on and on about the importance of being able to arrive on time whenever you told people you'd be there, and the such. Suppressing a sigh, I listened to the doctor finally finish his lecture and begin to address the next essential part of becoming doctors. Knowing what was best for the patient themselves. Leaning back in my chair, I allowed myself to actually focus on the doctor's dreadfully boring words which explained everything that was somehow correct in my eyes. If you knew a patient was suffering you had that ability to get them out of their suffering immediately and painlessly, with the approval of a family member and/or the person themselves, depending on the situation. Frowning, I began to think what I would do in that situation. Would I really be able to do that to someone? "Miss Loian?" The doctor's voice brought me out of my trance. "What's the answer to..."

    Slumping down onto my bed after the training session, Julissa followed my actions. Sighing, she closed her eyes and smiled. "Your bed is sooo much more comfortable than mine! I'm a little jealous.." She giggled, making me shake my head and laugh. But, only out of habit, I turned my head towards the window and smiled a little. Julissa noticed a picture on my dresser and grabbed it. It was the one that Nixon and I had taken yesterday. Oooh, girly who is this?" She smirked my way, making a soft pink cover my cheeks. "He's.. uh.. Nixon. My.." "Boyfriend?" She interrupted quickly, grinning widely. Not giving me the chance to respond, she giggled. "Man, you're lucky! He's soo cute.." She whined towards the end, making me laugh.


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    alexander forias

    I watched Vivian pushed herself. Continuously. She even ran an extra mile for f.cks sake. Frowning slightly, I punched the target in front of me, slightly on edge. Noticing everyone already gone and Vivian still beating the shit out of a punching bag, I sigh just loud enough for her to hear. Putting a hand on her shoulder, I grin a little. "I get that your pushing yourself, but this is too much blondie." I point out jokingly, but still with a caring tone behind it. Watching her stop, I mentally pat myself on the back, considering I thought it would be more of a chore to do such. Walking back to my apartment, I saw Carter right before I walked into my room. Frowning slightly, I closed the door. But my hand lingered on the door a second longer than normal. Shaking my head, I slowly locked the door and nodded in acknowledgement at what Vivian had said. She probably hadn't seen it, but it was fine regardless. Throwing on a grey hoodie I had gotten a while back, I opened the doors to the balcony and stepped outside. Leaning on the railing, I closed my eyes and felt the air around me. Sighing slightly, I tapped my fingers on the rail. Things were already getting to be hectic, and it was only just getting started.

    my excuse is that i'm young

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    Vivian Callings

    I stand there with the hot water pelting me. I felt tears come from my eyes and I let it out. I let everything out so I could close myself back up again and begin healing. Or does one heal when there open? One thing is for sure, in Dauntless you cant be open. I step out and I look at myself in the mirror. I was so short that I could barely see myself but I could. I checked out my face and my hair and the way my freckles laid on my skin. It was strange how people found me pretty. But if you stare at yourself long enough your face becomes some strange creature starring back at you and lately that's been happening. I towel dry my hair and I threw on one of his sweaters, long enough to where it to my mid thigh.

    I walk out and I see Alex standing out on the balcony, The sun was starting to go down and it left this beautiful haze of color. 'Golden hour' as it was called. I walk over to him, not saying anything as I stood next to him looking at the sky. I could hear the wind and my heart pick up when my hand takes his hand that laid at his side to. I silently held his hand, not sure if it was okay, not sure if he would even like it. But I needed it. I needed to be held in some sort of way.

    In that moment as I held his too large of a hand that was too calloused and rough that we were together, against the odds; infinitely surviving but trying to thrive.




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    Nixon Kelly



    I get to Amity. It took me a little longer as today , after my cockiness at Erudite, I felt like a boy. When I stepped away from Erudite and whatever face I had to put on just to thrive there, I leave feeling like a boy. In reality I was just a boy. I walked along the Amity farms, seeing the golden sun kiss the crops which exploded into color that made my soul feel warm. My eyes drank up the sight as I walked to see my girl.

    I get in and I turn to see a girl. " Hello" I say as I undo my tie that felt very constricting. My outfit was very businessy, very smart. I shake my head with a smile" I'm Nixon, You must be Julissa: I say and I walk over and extend my hand in the awkward way; an abnegation way. " Its nice to finally meet you as I have heard so much about you" I say and I turn and I kiss Naomi's forehead in a greeting way. " How have you been love?" I ask and I tur to both of them, " How did both of your days go?"



    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

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    naomi loian

    Seeing Nixon, Julissa immediately smiles. "Oh, hey! Glad to hear I'm not a stranger, but you certainly are." She said cheerily, smiling cheekily. Shaking his hand slightly awkwardly, I smiled as Julissa let out a nervous laugh. Smiling as Nixon faces me, I feel a faint pink cover my cheeks. "I've been okay." I smile slightly, and stand up. "Well-" "-it was super boring!" Julissa quickly interrupted, looking excited. "All we did was review for some stupid test, and he got mad at us because SOMEONE woke up late." She said, almost glaring at me before laughing. I smiled, leaning against one of the counters and listening to Julissa. She looked more excited than I've ever really seen her. "How was your day Nixon?" I pipe up, interrupting Julissa's rant about all the certain herbs. I was almost worried she would bore him. Giggling softly at the thought, I took my hair out of the ponytail and sighed, running my hand through it. Sitting myself up on the counter, I crossed my legs and swung them slightly, listening intently. I was glad that someone finally knew about Nixon and I. It made me a lot happier than I had been prior to today. Now people knew that we were together. Well, a person. But regardless, it still felt good.


    Image result for colton haynes gif

    alexander forias

    I had opened my eyes and began watching the sun set when I heard the shower turn off. Hearing light footsteps make their way outside, I still didn't move. Turning my head slightly to look at Vivian when she stood next to me, she looked exhausted. Emotionally, physically, even mentally. She looked like she needed major downtime. But that sort of thing, sadly, didn't exist here. Feeling a much smaller hand in mine, softer but still having it's fair share of cuts from the recent events. Not saying anything still, I turned my head back to the sun setting. The golden hues were rapidly fading behind the buildings, and I subconsciously let my thumb rub over Vivian's knuckles in a comforting manner. She knew just as well as I did, or at least I hoped she did, that she wasn't alone in all of this. I'd be here for her, and she knew that. The breeze had picked up slightly, and I could feel it through my sweater. Quite the unpleasant surprise.

    my excuse is that i'm young

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    Vivian Callings

    I stood there and I could feel my heart slow down as he holds my hand back and his thumb gently rubbs my hand. I stood there as the breeze caught my bruised up legs that were pale and wafey. I turn my head to him, looking at him a way where I didn't just looked at Alex. I looked at Alexander and everything he was. I felt myself lean into him and the next thing I knew, I had my head buried in his chest. We kept quiet as there was nothing else to say. We need, or well. I needed physical contact. As now words meant nothing as everything that we could say; has been said. It was strange how much we lean on each other. We were not dating, we haven't even kissed and yet. There was something. I thought about him and I tilted my head up, my small body still against him as his arms were wrapped around me as if he could protect me from others; more importantly myself. I looked into his eyes with mine and I just. I felt something that made my heart slow down and beat faster at the same time.



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    Nixon Kelly



    I chuckle at how out spoken Julissa was. " My day was the same. I got promoted, but its easy for me I guess. My IQ just does the work for me" I say with a chuckle. I sit down at the edge of the bed as I watched them. I could Naomi was nervius but happy. I was happy too. Letting someone know almost made it real. It made it real in the sense where it wasnt completely hidden. Our love wasn't swept under the rug and forgotten about. Our love was put on top of the rug, being shown to whoever has the eye to see the little dust bunny that managed to come up from the shadows. We wouldnt be going away unnoticed. " So" I say, breaking Naomi's and Julissa's side convo as I tended to drift away with my thoughts. " How did you guys meet? " I ask with a smile, looking at Julissa with a quizzical look as I wanted to know her. Because who knows, what if the girls fight and she tells people about us. I wasn't exactly sure if what we were doing was treason, as nothing like me and Naomi hasn't ever happened. Or at least in public knowledge.



    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

  • Naomi Loian -

    Smiling as Nixon asked how her and Julissa met, I opened my mouth to begin. But as usual, Julissa got to it before I did. "Wellll, it was the first day that we were here! I found her looking a lil' lonely, so I decided to go an' talk to her! She was super pretty too, in the dress she had. Naomi looked super happy, too! So I thought, that I'd have to get to know somebody like that, right?" Pausing for a second, she smiled widely. As Julissa continued her story about how they had started doctor's training together and the such, I grabbed three mugs from the cupboard in my little makeshift kitchen. I had managed to sneak a coffee pot in here, not truly sure if I was even allowed to have it or not. I had also managed to snatch a few tea bags, and even a fair share of small coffee bags, which I hadn't even know existed in all honesty.

    Looking at the two, she noticed that Julie had paused. "Do you guys want anything to drink?" I asked curiously, leaning back slightly. Julissa had told Nixon about the time a guy had tried to hit on me, but I had easily brushed him off. Julia even giggled when she brought it up, because she fancied the guy, so she explained how I had set them up. Even I myself was proud of that. Julissa pulled me out of my thoughts by replying to my question. "Sorry 'omi, but I can't! I gotta go home now, but it 'as wonderful meeting ya Nixon!" She said, smiling brightly. "Take care you two." She giggled with a small wink before skipping out of the room, waving goodbye one last time. Putting the third cup away, I looked at Nixon and couldn't help but smile before laughing. "She's a charm, hm?" I smiled even more, shaking my head a little.


    (c)trexgirl



    Alexander Forias -

    Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Vivian was looking at me. Shrugging it off as nothing, I kept my own gaze on the sky ahead of me. Feeling her start to lean into me, I don't do anything. I knew she needed comfort. But that comfort wouldn't be able to come in the form of words. As she hid her face into my chest, I wrapped my own arms around her and held her. Sighing, I frowned. Carter didn't know exactly who he was messing with. That was for certain. By messing with Vivian, and scarring, messing her up this bad, he was f.cking with me on top of that. Which was not something he needed. Feeling Vivian's gaze on me, I looked down at her and cast her a small comforting smile that almost said 'Everything'll be alright.' She wasn't just physically messed with in this whole scenario. She had some emotional damages as well. And I know damn well that Carter knows exactly what he did. Shit, he probably doesn't even feel any remorse for the whole situation. That I could almost be certain of. The way he talked to me the day after everything happened had showed me just that. Subconsciously I ran my hand carefully through Vivian's hair. If this was a way to help her through this, than by all means that was alright with me.



    (c)trexgirl

    my excuse is that i'm young


  • I felt him run his fingers through my eyes and my eyes closed at the feeling. We stood there for however long; minutes, hours. Just absorbing each others company. It was us standing, looking at the fallen out, half destroyed city and flt at pace. for once. The quiet, the peace helped me. There was no practice the next day as family visiting day was tomorrow. I didn't know if my parents would come, but if they didn't... I would remain okay, and actually be pleased to have the day to myself. I sigh at the thought and I pull away from him and I felt tired, I felt weak I felt- My stomach grumble and I almost growl in response. I should have eaten. But the extra training was good for me. I walk into the bedroom and by this time it was dark. The sun was long gone, hidden amongst the hills that have yet to be explored... by us atleast.

    I go into the bedroom and I sat on the bed, my head in my hands and I just felt. Lately I feel like I have been feeling so much; too much. Feeling too much to where I felt numb but tonight, despite my numbness I felt safe. WHich was a good feeling to have.





    (c)trexgirl





    I sat there listening to Julissa talk and I just chuckled. She was certainly a talker that's for sure. " Wow she seems so shy" I joke. I smile as she leaves and I go over to Naomi and I take the glassware and coffee pods away from her. I return grabbed her waist and pushed her up against the wall. I have never been this forceful with her, so I was scared she wouldn't like it.

    I had her against the wall and I lean in and I kiss her hard. Grabbing her waist as mine so easily fell into hers. I kiss her had, I kiss her passionately because I just felt it. I felt so much appreciation and love for this girl. Yes love. I freaking loved this girl and my body and me just wanted her. I tasted her lips and I felt like I have come back to earth as she was the person who keeps me grounded. My lips traveled to her neck and I whisper " Is this okay?" I asked as I haven't really been this rough so I needed to make sure. My lips pressed against her neck in kisses, sucking occasionally on her soft skin.


    (c)trexgirl


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

    The post was edited 1 time, last by bite. ().

  • I giggled at his first choice of words. "Definitely." I smiled, standing up. As I was about to start the coffee, I felt the mugs and coffee pods alike taken out of my hands and set on the counter. As I opened my mouth to ask him what was up, I felt a pair of hands wrap around my waist and my back was against the wall all in the matter of a few seconds. I ended up letting out a small laugh, wrapping my arms easily around his neck and kissing him back. A smile made its way onto my lips, and I definitely wasn't minding the change in attitude. I mumbled something that even I couldn't comprehend, letting my thoughts go for the time being. As my hands traveled up into his hair, I breathlessly mumbled a soft, "Mhm, you're fine..." Accidently gripping his hair slightly harder than I had originally meant to. Man, this guy already had me weak at the knees. Not too surprising though, considering just who we're talking about. I let one of my hands fall to the line of his jaw, tracing it softly with a finger and smiling to myself, closing my eyes. My heart was going a mile a minute already, and my breath was hitching itself in my throat at times. I knew that my bottom lip would be slightly bruised as well, considering I had bit it quite a few times already.


    (c)trexgirl



    I felt Vivian let go, and I watched her walk back inside. She'd get better at one point in time. It would take a while, but she would. Walking inside slowly a little after Vivian had, I grabbed an apple I had on my counter from about a day ago. It was still good of course. Walking into my bedroom, I gave it to Vivian wordlessly. I could tell she was hungry, but I knew that she would never openly admit that. Bending down slightly to look at her in the face, I grinned a little. "Everything's gonna turn out fine in the end, alright?" I promised without a second thought, sounding confident as well. Giving her a reassuring smile, I stood back up and walked into the bathroom, getting ready to take a shower myself. Turning the water on, I easily stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the water. As the water trickled down, I sighed and leaned against the wall. My father had once told me that everything happens for a reason. Then what was the reason for all this? To make life, oh I don't know, easier? Sighing, I shook my head and ran my hand back through my dripping hair, exhaling again. I washed my hair without thinking then, trying to keep my mind from racing as it had been continuously for the past few days.



    (c)trexgirl

    my excuse is that i'm young


  • I sigh as he bends down and I thought he was going to kiss me. He walks away and I feel like a fool for wanting it or thinking it. I cross my legs and I take a bite of the apple that he brought me. He knew I was hungry without me saying it because honestly I would have never had said it. I sit in the silence that was interrupted by running water. I sigh at the thoughts that went through my brain. Whatever me and Alex were... I shouldn't just keep thinking about it to no end or something. Im not that type of girl. I don't pine. I shouldn't seek because there is always a chance I wont be found. I walk over and I through the apple core in the trash.

    I go and I put on socks that went to my knees, so less leg was showing as I was only wearing his sweater that stopped at mid thigh. I walk around for a bit, as if pacing would keep my mind at bay but it didn't. I hear the water stop and I sit back on the bed so I wouldn't be caught like a wandering fool.





    (c)trexgirl





    I smile as he pulls on my hair hard. She was liking this a lot, and that made me smirk against her neck. I move back to her lips and I kiss her hard. I let my hands go to her butt and I picked her up, letting her legs go around my waist and her back rested against the wall as I kissed her. Our kisses needy. Our kisses needy for each others taste, for each others love.

    I sigh against her lips as she was getting me wild up. I move her to the bed,carrying her with ease as I place her on the bed gently, my body hovering. I look at her beautiful face and smile. " Should we pause?" I ask our of worry. " Because if we keep going im not going to be able to control myself" I say shyly. I didn't want me to get t into things and have sex if we were not ready for it... If she wasn't ready for it. I asked her because, I actually cared about her and everything she stood for and her feelings. I felt like a boy in love, because I was just a boy in love.


    (c)trexgirl


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

  • Slightly out of breath as I was picked up against the wall, that didn't change the fact that I was smiling. As we moved to the bed, I sighed when I was on it. Looking up at Nixon and listening intently when he was talking, I couldn't help but smile at his words. Leaning up on my elbows at first, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Baby, that one isn't just up to me." Pausing for a second, a slight pink went over my cheeks as I continued. "But I'd be fine if we kept going." I couldn't help but let out a small giggle, kissing his nose as one of my fingers twirled a piece of his hair around it. I also put a hand on his cheek, my thumb gently stroking his jaw. When he had told me what he did, it made me just smile because it showed that he really did care, and he wasn't just bluffing that whole time. Of course, I hadn't thought he was, but still. We were both just kids in love, and there was nothing wrong with that.


    (c)trexgirl



    Stepping out of the shower, I grabbed a towel and used it to quickly dry myself off. Throwing on my pair of black sweats and a plain t-shirt, I noticed that Vivian had eaten the apple. Nodding almost to myself, I sat beside her. "I think I figured out a little bit of what's really going on, and I'm going to bet that you already know it. You think about it too much. I know it sounds stupid, even impossible maybe, but the best thing to do is to distract yourself. Which you've been doing. But you're too hard on yourself Vivian. You could easily hurt yourself at this rate." I said, sounding a little worried. "Just... be careful, alright? Tell people you trust. It definitely helps, I can tell you that much." I mumbled softly, just loud enough so she could hear it. "Just something to think about, alright?" I concluded, throwing her a smile before standing up with a sigh.




    (c)trexgirl

    my excuse is that i'm young

    The post was edited 1 time, last by honey. ().


  • I listen to him and I felt my heart beating in my ears. Something that happens when I become to brave for my mind. Where my brain shys away and my heart moves my body. My hand took his and I pull him back to me so he was sitting down again. thump thump thump, My heart was beating out of my chest and at this point my brain was hiding behind my heart, so my heart could control me. I move so my knee was on the other side oh him; sitting on his lap and I could tell he was a little shocked. " I trust you" I say, my voice shy and weak. thump thump thump. My eyes look at his and I could feel my emotions drip into my words. " Distract me, Distract me" I say, looking at him and my hands went to the sides of his neck, my fingertips brushing his hair line behind his ear. thump thump thump. I Kiss him. thump thump thump thump. I kissed him.





    (c)trexgirl





    I look at her with a goofy smile. I pull away and I slowly pull her underwear down. Kissing her thigh and leg as I did so; ever so softly. I slowly spread her legs " My baby" I whisper-

    ( lol imma not continue, im okay with sex talk but I know this site is not lmao)

    I lay next to her, smiling. We didn't have sex, cause I honestly didn't think I was ready and that's so stupid. I was Abnegation born and I guess intimate stuff still heavily impacts me. But I did go down on her and I made it my misson for her to feel good, and I did. I smile as I see her chest heaving and her forehead gleaming from some sweat from the pleasure my mouth and well fingers had given her. " How'd you like that?" I say with a big goofy grin. Feeling accomplished that I made her feel so good. I loved her.So dam much, and maybe I just, I don't even know. I just wanted to do everything in my power to make her feel good. I was nervous to have sex, as One Ive never done it, two I was scared I wouldn't do it right and three I knew the first time hurt the girl and that made me even more nervous


    (c)trexgirl


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

  • I opened my eyes, looking at Nixon. A weak smile covered my face, and I sat up only to hug him around his neck, hiding my face in it. "A lot." I mumbled with a small laugh, breathing his cologne in. "But it's your turn next time Nixon." I said after a few moments, giggling and poking his nose. Letting one of my hands run through his hair, I let the other trace his jaw. "I'm pretty lucky baby, you know that?" I said, smiling and running my finger up and down his jaw. "So I can tell you one thing. Don't be nervous about losing me, okay?" I smiled, sitting up so I could look at him directly. My hair all made a cage around my face, it all flowing on the sides of my face. "Because it'll never happen." I concluded, leaning down to kiss his nose.



    (c)trexgirl



    I looked at Vivian with a confused expression, and a shocked one. "Vivian.." I mumbled carefully, words failing me already. As the words I trust you left her lips, I couldn't help the smile that I allowed itself to spread onto my lips. Not saying anything still, I feel her hands brush the hairline behind my ears. I carefully brushed her hair out of her face as she kissed me, and I carefully kissed her back. It was as if I didn't want to hurt her, it was obvious I was handling it as if she was a porcelain doll that could break at any second. I managed to mumble a small, "Are you sure Viv.." during the whole ordeal, still nervous about this myself.




    (c)trexgirl

    my excuse is that i'm young

    The post was edited 1 time, last by honey. ().


  • He kisses me back and I feel so much better. I could tell in the way he touched me that he was afraid. He mumbles the words and I pull away. " I am afraid of anyone touching me, who isn't you. Make intimate stuff something I want instead of fearful of" I say and my fingers run through his hair. " Im not fragile with you, Im not scared with you" I say, looking at him , my brows furrowed as I wanted him to know. " Treat me like you would without worrying I will break because with you" I say and my thumb traces his bottom lip. " I feel safe" I say. My eyes looking at his and I needed him. I needed him to kiss me and grab me like he meant it. The more people treated me as fragile, the more fragile I will become and Alex... Alex was the only one who I was okay around...More than okay





    (c)trexgirl





    I smile as she says that. I smile like a dam fool and I loved it. " Okay, I promise" I say and I grabb her butt and I pull her leg so they were over my waist as I held her close to me. I kiss her forehead and then her nose, both her cheeks and then her lips. " I love you" I whisper and I kiss her neck and her shoulder and every body part I could reach " You don't have to say it immediately, say it when you mean it" I say and smile at her as my thumb rubbs her cheek softly. " I dont ever. Ever want to loose you" I say and smile. " How about tomoroow you come visit me in my room? Its not as cozy but it has a nice, big shower" I say and chuckle at the thought, " And a big bathtub"

    (c)trexgirl


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

  • I smiled, shaking my head softly. "No, I love you too Nixon." I smile, giggling softly and I kiss his ear. "You know you won't. But make sure I don't lose you too okay?" I mumble in his ear, smiling. Damn, I just couldn't stop smiling. Laying down on his chest, I rolled my eyes teasingly at his comment. "Well I don't see why not. Anyways, they must be getting suspicious of you now baby." I giggled, looking up at him. "You're never where you're supposed to be, silly." I smiled. "Especially with you being as important as you are. To everyone, but especially me. Don't go getting yourself into trouble." I poked his cheek lightly when she said all this, giggling.


    (c)trexgirl



    At first I just put my forehead on her shoulder, eyebrows slightly furrowed. Just listening to her. Once I knew she was done, I tightened my grip on her slightly. "Okay." I said carefully, kissing her shoulder before peppering kisses all the way up her neck until I reached her lips once again, kissing them as if I meant it this time. She was right. If I just babied her, nothing would ever be fixed. Deepening the kiss, I let my one of my hands travel to her hair, running through it while the other went up and down her back. If this was what she needed, then so be it. It's not like I would complaint too much about it, either.



    (c)trexgirl

    my excuse is that i'm young


  • I feel him kiss me. actually kiss me and actually hold me and I felt. I felt normal, which was something I have never felt. It was nice not being fragile, it was nice that with him I felt normal. I feel him deepening the kiss and I just melted in his hands. I began needy for him and as he touched me and kissed me I just felt right. My hands ran through his hair, pulling on it a little and I could feel the kiss deepen and I could tell her liked it. I lightly pull at his hair as our bodies became close, as I felt him. I felt more than a girl. I felt like I was... I was his girl. Which was stupid, as being someones girl wasn't a big deal, especially as we havn't talked about how we felt about each other yet, but it didn't mean the feelings weren't there. I pull away , my lips swollen from our heavy kisses and I look at him and smile, I lean down and kiss his neck, all the way back to his lips; the ones I was craving.





    (c)trexgirl






    I smile at her and i hold her in my arms. " They already are" I say and chuckle, " one of my subordinates whose older but dumber tried to question me. Im her boss, the minute her IQ is higher than mine is when she can question me" I say and chuckle. " God im so glad I was a book nerd" I say and I kiss her forehead. " My place isnt cozy, but I have a feeling having you there will do a lot" I say and smile. " Its apartment, 3rd highest, so almost a penthouse... Beautiful view, nice and quiet... sometimes" I say and smile. " A huge round bed also... One I have not slept in" I say and chuckle. " So I cant tell you if it'll be comfortable" I say and I look at her. She was such a beauty and I just couldn't handle it. I was so god dam lucky


    (c)trexgirl


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

  • Listening to him talk, I smiled. "Well baby just be careful." I said gently, putting my hand on his cheek. If anything happened to him.. I furrowed my eyebrows almost worriedly, looking down. Hearing him mention his room, I couldn't help but smile. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Anyways if it's not comfy I'll just sleep on you." I said softly, expressing a small smile. Resting my chin on his chest, I looked up at him with a smile, stretching out and holding both his hands in mine. "I'm glad you're having so much fun there. You seem really happy." I brought up, smiling brightly at him. "And that makes me happy." Squeezing his hands lightly, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to cuddle closer to him. "You're warm." I mumbled in between little giggles, a smile seemingly permeant on my face now. But my mind wandered to what might happen if he was caught here. Trying to forget about it, I squeezed one of his hands tighter, sighing a little.



    (c)trexgirl



    Smiling as her lips allow themselves to travel, I play with the hem of my sweater, but I don't move to take it off or anything. I just simply rolled it between my fingers. When her lips reached mine again, I easily captured them and kissed her once more. Letting my other hand run carefully along her jaw, I couldn't help but kiss her just a little harder. Not enough to hurt her, but nothing like it had been before either. Then I slowly went from her lips to her jaw, nibbling in some places, then down to her neck. I followed the same process as I had with her jaw, but for a longer amount of time. Then finally, I kissed her shoulder again before going right back up again, a smirk making its way onto my face.



    (c)trexgirl

    my excuse is that i'm young


  • I feel him kiss harder and I can feel my hips lean into his, his lips mesmerizing me. I feel his lips linger to my jaw and my neck, my arm getting shivers as he nibbled and kissed my jaw and neck " mmm" I say almost a moan but not quite here as he kissed my neck. I bite my lower lip and my hands pull and go through his hair " Alex" I say breathlessly " Kiss me" I say, wanting his lips on mine once more. I feel his lips on mine once more, kissing me hard and I melted into him once more. Our lips needy. I was needy. I leave his lips and I make him taste his own medicine as I kiss his jaw, and his neck, sucking occsionaly. Focusing on his neck as I sucked lightly and kissed





    (c)trexgirl





    I smile " Ill be okay I promise" I say and smile and I hold her tightly. " I love that you like it here. You are a good little nurse" I say and smile. I hold her tightly as I rested my head on the pillow as we laid together. I felt so whole. In a matter of weeks she has become my everything. My love. My girl. My family. She was there when I was weak or strong or just clueless on what would happen to me. I couldnt help but think how grateful I was for fate. If the Erudite section hadnt been so crowded I would have never sat in the Amity section and I would have never been able to meet her. FAte was on my side and I was so happy. I couldnt even think what would happen if she hadnt sat next to me.

    (c)trexgirl


    ǝɔuɐʇsıp ǝɯos ǝʇɐǝɹɔ oʇ ʇsnɾ sǝɓpıɹq uɹnq ɐʇʇoɓ noʎ sǝɯıʇǝɯos

  • I smiled lightly, noticing he was caught in a trance. I sat up so I was sitting on his waist. "Having fun thinking baby?" I smiled down at him, my hands on his chest. "So tomorrow I'll be going to Eurdite. I'll look forward to it." I smiled down at him, leaning down to kiss him softly before rolling to lay by his side, grinning because I had just wanted to tease him. Glancing out the window, I decided to open it a little. Feeling the small breeze blow in, I smiled. It felt nice. The curtain waved in the wind as I watched carefully, and couldn't help but start thinking again. Frowning, I turned back towards Nixon and hugged him again, not knowing why I was so on edge. I silently hugged him, knowing that I looked worried but I tried to hide my face from him just so he wouldn't worry. Biting my lip slightly, I closed my eyes and willed all the worrying thoughts away.



    (c)trexgirl



    I can't help the smirk that was steady on my face as she asked me to kiss her. Of course I followed through with her wishes. But when she started using my own trick against me, I groaned a little. "Vivian.." I was almost tempted to flip us over, but I'd let her have her little fun. Kissing her ear, I mumbled soft words into it as well, the smirk still apparent on my face. Sliding my hands right back up her back once more, I let them play with her hair. One of my hands went around her waist, almost as a natural occurrence. So this is the type of distraction she had been needing. Definitely not what I would have expected, but everyone has their own accords. He wasn't sure what had exactly drawn this forth, though. It had obviously shocked him when it first happened. Damnit Alexander, stop f.cking thinking you idiot.



    (c)trexgirl

    my excuse is that i'm young