just run [roleplay!]

*:･ﾟ✦ elias lay in the grass looking up at the sky. he remembered most of it as clearly as anyone else could at that point. he could remember just how fast everything happened.. he'd wish he never agreed to go to that party, they never made it there. he closed his eyes and took a small breath. the loud sirens ringing in his ears, the panic he'd felt. he ran a hand through his hair and took a shaky breath as he remembered the voices that surrounded him and his friends after the accident, how when he tried to move, he couldn't make himself move, how he couldn't see from one eye.. he could remember how much pain he'd felt. the boy opened his eyes and sat up, feeling his heartbeat racing and his mind a fog. he looked toward the porch and could see chris taking drags, seeming to also have trouble keeping calm about all this.

elias looked at his arms a moment and traced the scars, some from the accident others not. although this event took place over two months ago, he couldn't make himself forget how much pain he felt during the time between the accident and finding out that their friend max didn't make it out alive in the end. as much as he'd try to cheer chris up, nothing seemed to work. he tried and tried, but in the end elias would end up sitting in loneliness elsewhere. he would be left to sit and lose himself over the fact he couldn't do anything. elias would constantly remind himself that there was nothing he could've done and the pain comes back.. making him more numb toward pain inflicted on himself.

—— tracking until after school!

♠♂ parties used to be fun. they used to be fun because people actually talked to each other, they hung out with one another. but this party was terrible. the blindness of everything, the fact that most people were just smoking or drinking made everything worse. mason rarely talked about the crash that had killed max, and he was aware that everything was better that way. but he wanted to talk about it. after the crash everyone had changed, they were... they seemed worse off. which made mason feel terrible. it seemed like they were constantly thinking about the crash that had killed their friend while mason hardly gave it a second thought most of the time. and now they were all at a party. hardly like the ones that they had gone to with max, but maybe they were. most parties were the same weren’t they? a bunch of people being stupid, a lot of painfully loud music, and people just being people. mason allowed his thoughts to drift off to the night of the crash for a moment. and as soon as he remembered it he knew exactly why he wanted to forget. it wasn’t just because of max dying, but more because everyone had been so helpless, and it was unfair that max had to die. there was no one to blame he supposed, no one but the car who had run into them. but remembering the broken glass that had laid everywhere, the sirens and the red and blue lights flashing in everyone’s eyes, and of course the yelling. it seemed like everyone was yelling that night. almost like a party. but definitely not a party.

the blonde boy glanced around quietly for a moment before entering the party. something he didn’t exactly want to do, but he couldn’t be just outside by himself. not even necessarily by himself but he felt as if he needed to do something. anything. the boy hated the atmosphere of the party almost immediately. this seemed so unlike a normal party, unlike something they would have gone to with max. which was just evidence that the boy... their dead friend max was what had held the group together. the people inside where the party was actually happening all seemed stoned. okay so not all but a good seventy five percent of them were stoned. the other twenty five percent seemed a little unsure of what to do. usually mason felt comfortable at parties, but most of his friends were nowhere in sight. so he felt just as lost as the other people who had no idea what to do.

★ ★ ★ track . i'll post after school .

craig never cared much for parties. he went to homecoming his freshman year just to prove a point to his mother that he could be a regular kid. it didn't work of course. he had called her after thirty minutes in, begging to be picked up. then he met max. they were so different. max was outgoing and already had friends. max was...well, he meant a lot to craig. now, he's dead and craig was having a hard time figuring out what to do next. so, when he saw the invitation to the party, he took it as a sign to stop moping around his apartment and mope around at a party instead. when he entered the party and was hit with the body thumping music and smell of alcohol and cigarettes, he had to force himself no to turn right around, get back in his car, and drive away, forget about the others and max. instead, he dug into his hoodie pocket and pulled out a bottle of fentanyl that he stole from his mother's stash for her back pain. he felt guilty at first, but it helped ease the aching in his chest and the tears and the screaming turned into laughing at the weirdest things, he pushed it out of his mind like he did with everything else. so, here he was, two months after one of his closest friends died at a party he didn't want to be at, a little high and wishing he could fade into the walls and disappear.

—— by the time ves had arrived at the party, he was already out... in the sense that his thoughts were no longer coherent and his head was spinning out of control. he was really fucking baked, and he definitely had too much to drink, but then again, when did he not? he had planted himself within the circle of stoners who were passing the bong around in such a timed rhythm, it couldn't have been coincidental. this wasn't his group -- weren't his friends. he felt out of place when he took a rip and everyone glared at him because he was taking too long. he wouldn't have cared either way. it's not like he'd remember this when morning came.

the party wasn't incredibly... enthusiastic. though the blond has been to his fair share of parties over the years, this had to be one of the worse. loud music, but no dancing. beer pong, but no players. despite being in his altered state of mind, he could tell that he, or anybody for that matter, wasn't exactly having a fantastic time. one last hit and he was out of that depressing circle. ves stumbled around looking for people to mingle with, to flirt with, perhaps even spend the night with. something to do, anything, so that he wouldn't have to think about the fucking crash.

nothing turned out as it was supposed to, and ves didn't ever think, let alone believe, something like this could happen in a million years. he always thought himself to be a good driver, or at least, better than most people his age. most would agree, he was savvy. however, careful wouldn't be the word to describe him, and everyone knew it. testing the speed limits, blaring music -- being the designated driver countless times, it was something he was known for. but he never drank behind the wheel, not even once. though with his rowdy reputation, it shouldn't have been much of a surprise to him when he was put to blame and rumours spread like wildfire about him driving intoxicated, when really, it was quite the opposite.

it was the other person. he just straight up drove into him, horns blaring, lights glaring. it was momentary. he couldn't even attempt to swerve out of the way as the car was t-boned from the right side, totally out of his line of sight. next thing he knew he was clambering out of the car, red and blue all around, in complete shock as a portion of his friends were being pulled away in stretchers. he had sustained a minor concussion... and that was it. not everyone was as fortunate. it kills ves just as much as it literally killed max the night to follow.

in an attempt to null the reoccurring thoughts, he stumbled off in an attempt to find a friend. he didn't even know if he could call them that as, seemingly, the second they'd arrived they'd all decided to split up. but at least it was someone he could connect with more than a bunch of stoners. and again, he was totally fucked so it'd make it easier for him to put on a grin and go with it. through the haze of people and smoke alike, he noticed mason standing awkwardly by himself and oh my god he was definitely sober. he felt the most comfortable around him as of recent... probably because he was he most like himself out of everyone. probably because he reminded him the most about how things used to be.

ves didn't give a shit whether he was intruding his private time or not. as soon as he got close enough to mason, he put on a catty smirk and grabbed onto the other's shoulders and shook him a little. "earth to mason! where the fuck's your draaank?" , he beamed jokingly, as if his joyful demeanour wasn't just a facade. he leaned over, slinging his arm around the other's shoulders, mostly for support, and leading him towards the booze. "you feeling cheap tequila or some of that nasty peach schnapps shit? honestly, nothing's worse than this party, though, let's be honest." , he exclaimed to the other with a snicker, not noticing that he'd parked their asses right next to miya.

♠♂ a part of mason had been glad to see ves at first. it was a good thing to see someone familiar. yet he internally cringed when he heard the other boy’s slightly slurred words coming out of his mouth. he knew his friend was drunk. his friend? maybe just, ‘the kid he knew and was friends with at some point,’ but maybe they weren’t friends anymore. he felt a little glad that ves had found him, yet he couldn’t feel happy at the same time. it was hard to feel happy when your supposed friend was drunk, clinging to you, and trying to get you drunk as well. mason spoke quietly at first, “um, ves, you know i don’t drink.” the boy felt bad. seeing his friend like this. he was a mess, not necessarily in appearance, but in mindset he was definitely not okay. mason rolled his eyes quietly as ves continued speaking, talking about various types of alcohol that mason could care less about. and then making some random remarks about the party. mason did agree with him on that part. this had been the worst party he had been to by far.

when mason finally realized that he and ves were besides miya, he quickly glanced over at the girl and then looked away. he had seen the bruise on her face, by seeing as she tried to get away from the two boys almost immediately, although it didn’t seem exactly like she was trying to get away from them exactly. she was trying to get away from something and mason couldn’t help but feel bad for his friend.

the boy picked up his ohone, glancing st a text he had recurves from his friend nathan. they two had been friends for quite a while, maybe a year, but the boy had been hanging out with nathan a lot more now. the text asked where he was and mason just shoved his phone back into history pocket. he wasn’t going to answer the text at the moment. he glanced at ves quietly. he wanted to say something to him, anything. but he was quite sure that the other boy was much too drunk to have any sort of conversation that either made sense, or wasn’t an effect of the alcohol he had put into his system.

he felt good. the pills were finally kicking in and he felt nice for a change. some part of his brain urged him to stop, telling him that he'd end up back in the ER with his mother by his side, worrying over the cuts and bruises littering his knees and elbows. he ignored the tiny voice, staring dozily at the ceiling before landing back where he knew mason was. craig had scoped them out shortly after arriving, planning on avoiding them until he was spotted and forced to interact. out of all of them, mason seemed the most easiest to approach, unlike miya. it wasn't that craig disliked her, it was just that he couldn't stand to look at her and be reminded of max. she and max dated and they were god together so it was jarring to see her without him. he wondered if it was like that for her too.

then, he saw ves, and his mood crashed. the drunken fool was practically rubbing up on mason and he felt hot anger burn in the bottom of his stomach, twisting. he moved forward, fingernails digging into his palms but he didn't feel it. he was finally close enough to grab ves by his shirt but hesitated, fear crawling up his back. he was afraid to make mason upset and miya who he saw moving away out of the corner of his eye. however, the hesitation was swallowed by his anger and muddled mind from the fentanyl and whatever else he could even remember consuming earlier in the day, and reached out to grab ves once more. unfortunately, miya chose that time to back into ves, shifting him slightly so that his hand fell on miya's shoulder instead.

he barely registered it at first, eyes narrowing in confusion as to why miya was now where ves was just seconds ago. he worked through his haze just long enough to lose his intense anger and notice the situation miya was currently in, surprised and a bit uneasy with the absolutely murderous look his friend's eyes. "uh, hey, miya...there you are! i've been looking for you. we should go look for chris, yeah?" he said, looking at her pointedly, using the light grip he had on her shoulder to pull her away slightly.

—— ves heard mason's remark about not drinking. he didn't mention anything about the it, but knew he wasn't going to shove booze down the other's throat. so instead, decided the two shots he'd poured into the solo cup were going to be for himself. and he was actually about to down it, that is until someone bumped into him from behind, and he dropped the cup. he ushered a slurred curse under his breath. still leaning heavily on mason, he turned around to see who the fuck made him waste his alcohol -- though it was likely for the best.

the first person ves saw was craig, standing directly in front of him. well, kind of directly. some girl was sandwiched between them. he didn't come to realize how awkward the position he was in now that he turned around. it could be interpreted much less innocent than it was to any on-looker... but his attention was focused on craig, mostly, seemingly trying to lead the girl somewhere. or perhaps he pushed her into him? his hand was on her shoulder, and they weren't exactly...tight, per say. ves slid out from behind miya, who he didn't know was miya, still clinging onto mason. he narrowed his eyes at craig for a second before turning his attention to the girl. now he realized who it was. suddenly, undesired thoughts were invading his head once again.

"oh hey, miya." , he greeted, much less enthusiastically than he did mason. come to think of it, he heard craig mumble something before he turned around, but didn't quite catch it. he... didn't know what else to say. ves didn't feel so mellow anymore. he felt anxious. it was clear he was trying to ignore craig. he glanced sideways at mason. if he were sober, he'd probably try to get them out of the situation. two people he didn't exactly want to be around... one who reminded him of everything, and the other who hated his guts...

*:･ﾟ✦ elias sat up and sighed softly as he made his way toward the door. he'd been outside for quite a while and had lost track of the time. he didn't like this party. he didn't like all the people there. not to mention the memories dragged up from even turning up at a party. the young boy started to scratch at his arms a little bit as he glanced inside, trying to keep himself calm before going to find chris again. chris was able to keep him calm. elias had been staying with chris since the accident, not really knowing if chris acknowledged his existence or not anymore but he kept following. the pink-haired boy looked up to him. chris was in a bad place and elias could see it but he didn't mind. he knew just how much it hurt. by the time elias snapped out of his thoughts and he looked back at his arm, he noticed he broke the skin, causing small droplets of blood to drip down his arm. the young male held his breath for a moment before stepping inside to find the bathroom. it just so happened that elias had stumbled into craig and miya. it took him a good minute to realize who he ran into but as soon as he got a good look, elias could feel his whole body shutter for a moment.

♠♂ mason was a bit glad that miya had bumped into ves. sure it had also stressed him out a bit, he had seen how miya reacted to some things, but she didn’t seem that upset. craig was there too the blonde noticed, he glanced at his other friends for a moment, both miya, and craig. oh, and ves, but it was hard not to notice bes when the boys were standing so closely to each other. mason couldn’t help but feel as if something bad was about to happen, yet he didn’t feel stressed. not stressed in any sense, which was nice. as naïve as the blonde haired boy was, he frequently felt worried about his friend’s poor choices as of recently. he didn’t want them going around and getting wasted all of the time, or getting into fights. or anything even remotely close to that. the boy murmured a quiet hello to miya, as the girl stood upright and away from ves. a small part of mason wished that bes would let go of him, yet he stayed silent, no time wanting to talk to the other boy and risk upsetting him. he was fairly sure his friend wouldn’t hurt him, no. he knew his friend wouldn’t hurt him, but he didn’t want any to start start any of fights. the boy’s blue eyes landed on craig for a moment and then on miya and finally ves. he had half a mind to pull ves away from the other two, but it was the first time in a while he hadn’t seen rn the other three amy where’s near each other. he was hesitant to step a little closer to ves, which wasn’t much closer given that the boy was pretty much holding onto him still. “you know what ves, can you pour me a shot?” mason wasn’t at actually going to do the shot, utah he wanted i distract his friend in any way possible, even if it meant doing something potentially stupid.

—— ves slowly acknowledged mason's request. he cocked a brow apprehensively at him and let go to get him a shot. he was still holding onto the other. he didn't take into account the fact that the other was probably feeling rather uncomfortable until now, or so that was how he interpreted it. but could you really blame him? he was so focused on the painfully tense situation he was in right now. that, and he was pretty delirious. ves stepped back and, taking his time for good reason, grabbed the solo cup and poured a shot's worth of some sort of hard booze into it. he turned around and extended his arm out to mason for him to grab the drink. noticing elias had joined the little circle, he voiced a giddy greeting in his direction -- but he wasn't particularly in a good mood anymore. shit. it took all he had in him to resist the urge to pull his arm back and drink the shot himself...

♠♂ mason exhaled quietly though his nose, watching ves. the boy seemed to take a bit of time pouring whatever it was into the cup. mason felt a little glad about that. it meant that then he had more time to think of what to do. he had to do something and somehow think of a solution. it was a bit upsetting, the fact that the small group of friends couldn’t be together without it being so tense. at least tense between most of them. and it scared mason a little, it meant that his friends very well could be falling apart and that they would be on their own at some point. he watched as miya slipped away after glancing at craig and almost said something, but didn’t. the boy glanced at elias, tempted to say something to him as well, but he also didn’t want to talk. everything was too tense. when ves offered him the shot, mason realized that he was about to do something stupid, “you know what, i’m good. you can have it ves.” the boy spoke softly, so only the boy he was talking to could hear it. he could see that his friend was tempted to drink the shot anyways, he might as well.

:: ew this is such a garbage post but i wanted to put something up before i’m stuck in school

*:･ﾟ✦ elias jumped a bit as he felt chris place his hand on his shoulder. he could feel how tense it was between the friends and he shifted nervously. as the boy opened his mouth to speak, he followed chris' gaze to the room with the flashing lights before he followed the other out of the building. "chris..?" he piped up a little when they were outside. the young male followed chris quietly and fiddles with his bloodied fingers. he didn't understand why it had to be this way. why he and chris had gotten into the accident to begin with... why any of them had... he hated that it was them who'd been in the accident, not any others. he was happy before, it wasn't noticeable to anyone how unstable he was. well, not until the accident anyways. the accident only made him more unstable than before.

ooc; im sorry for the shortness