The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
Soap really needed to be alone for a bit. However, after the stunt he pulled with Ghost, he might not ever get that alone time.
"MacTavish... please... this can't happen again."
He bit his cigar, remembering every death he had. The first from falling out of the clocktower in Prague, bleeding out. Then Shepherd, drowning him. Then Makarov, stabbing him just right so he couldn't breathe. This last time was an attempt, eating Foxglove in order to poison himself. Because he didn't deserve to live.
He managed to get some alone time, surprisingly, even after the stunt he did, which caused Ghost to swat a pill in his mouth. It was nighttime, and he figured the lad was sleeping. He was laying on a small bed on the wooden porch, looking up and seeing what stars he could.