it was a blur- everything that had happened since he had introduced himself to the clan. memories of wanting to learn how to make flower crowns alongside kaia, of everyone willing to approach him despite how unsavory he is in appearance and personality. for someone plagued with anxiety like alessandro, that one situation led to nightmares that kept on happening in his sleep, how everyone shouted insults of how useless he is, stupid even for acting like a skittish mouse, looked like a wrong answer that has been erased but never got the job done right. the nights he spent curling close to his grandfather romulus was astounding, and shameful as he could feel eyes as to how a full-grown sunclan apprentice was like a cowardly idiot that was still attached to someone of family, can't handle the notion of being by himself in his own little place.
now with the knowledge that kaia was royalty, that she probably was now not going to look forward to spending time with someone like him, he had to get away- get away from all the mess that sunclan was facing, all the situations regarding royalty and of promotions, and leadership. he had to just block all of that away, and stay in his own space, let himself be absorbed a personal bubble where he could be able to do actions in peace. with that said, with him turning back on socialization, and straying away from kaia, knowing that she's probably busy talking to others that may be far more interesting than little old alessandro here, who can't help but get attached to people, and feel the need to be nervous when talking to others, he's turned to a new hobby, which was ant-watching.
watching ants go about their daily lives, despite being a thousand times smaller than alessandro was amusing- entertaining even that it was a hobby that calmed him down and let him break free from the real world, and be stuck in his own world filled with thoughts about ants. alessandro doesn't know much about ants, sadly. while he asked his grandfather for a book about them, it seems that he was out of luck, as his grandfather was often tired, busy in the group with other elders and gets tired easily- something that comes with age, he had said to his grandson. with that, he was stuck with another option, and that was, taking down notes in regards to what he observed from ants.
in the garden of eden, it was peaceful, with birds chirping, alongside the distant roar of the waterfall, it almost felt therapeutic to him, calmed his nerves as he observed ants. he was lying down on the grass, with a notebook in his paw and observed a line of ants going in one direction and... they were carrying small portions of food. it was interesting to note that one time he let a flesh of a mouse that he ate, that ants started swarming on them. so far, he had written a lot about ants in his notebook, including in one page, one of the observations that he had written down this day, in a scrawny handwriting attempt:
ant observation today:
- ants go in one line. possibly over to their nest?
- sometimes break when they see food.
- have six legs.
for now, he enjoyed the solitude of being on his own, humming a silent tune, in which he would never do out loud to anyone that he barely knows.