Border of Tomorrow | PRIVATE

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    The next two days had been harsh, as most of the hours were spent walking and riding the few horses that had been brought along. Many were already sore from the journey, some were already crying and giving up, some accepted everything in silence, while others were acting as if they were having the best time of their lives. Kenma was one of those that was taking in everything in silence. He'd already accepted the facts, his fate, even though he didn't like to call it that.


    His body was simply not meant for things like this; long distance walking. He was especially not meant for battle. The blond had simply forced all thoughts of Kuroo away as he was unable to handle them. He focused on the stinging in his feet and the pain in his legs, but even with that the thoughts of the half god did not vanish no matter how hard he tried. At this time the sun was beginning to make its climb down to hide itself away from the eyes of many and leave the world in a harsh and empty night. The troops had reached camp and were beginning to settle down. Kenma was required to help set things up which he didn't mind doing as it just helped him control his thoughts and ignore the pain in his chest. After he'd been told that he was free to retire for that evening he retreated into one of the many large, open tents that did nothing but cover them from anything above, the front being open. He was alone in the the tent he was staying in for the moment, and would be for long into the night. Where he lied was on the floor with a simple, thin blanket that didn't help with the cooling air of the night. He was so tired from everything that had happened over the years and especially the past three days.


    Slowly he sat up, the blanket pooling his lap as he sat with his legs crossed. He was now looking at his feet and winced at the sight. The skin was irritated, dirty, and dotted with purples, greens, grays, blues. It was clear the ground had done a number on his soft feet. Kenma sighed painfully as he knew this was nothing compared to what was to come, but that wasn't truly what was bothering him. There was no Kuroo here to help with his injuries, to baby him over simple things. He'd have to deal with his wounds on his own.

    Leaving had proven to be a more difficult process than Kuroo had anticipated. His step-father had questioned his sudden change of heart, having so vehemently protested joining the war only a few hours ago. Naturally, going into combat over a love the man had never truly approved of didn't settle well with him. Kuroo had only been able to win him over and gain the information he needed by agreeing to several conditions, one being he accept a position of leadership within the war. He'd easily agreed. Ares didn't hesitate to visit him and show his disapproval. It had turned into quite an argument, but Kuroo hadn't backed down. Eventually Ares had realized there was no way to keep him from going onto the battlefield before he was meant to.


    The general had assigned Kuroo his own small crew of soldiers, who rode with him the following day. If it had been up to Kuroo he would have ridden alone, saved time and left the very day he'd found out, but his step-father demanded this is how he do it. The journey had felt eternal, Kuroo constantly pushing how far they could travel before rest, but he did have to keep the others he traveled with in mind. The time it took to get to their destination, the battalion's first camp, felt too long. But he found solace in the fact that the soldiers wouldn't be sent off to battle until later. There was still a bit of time.


    Upon arriving at the territory there were plenty of questions asked by those in charge, considering there hadn't been time to send a messenger to alert them that Kuroo and his small group would be arriving. After what felt like an interrogation Kuroo asked about Kenma's whereabouts, and when he was told the tent he rushed through the camp in search of it. Some soldiers spotted and recognized Kuroo, and plenty of hushed rumors could be heard, but he was too busy scanning their faces in hopes of finding Kenma. But it was a large camp and every second it grew more and more frustrating, his urge to see that Kenma was there, alive and well despite what had happened on the beach, grew the longer it took. "Kenma!" he yelled out, running from tent to tent, eyes shifting in every direction as he continued to call out the boy's name.

    Kenma had at first thought he was just hearing things. After all there were many different sounds in the camp. Though he quickly realized that the air felt different as if something a bit interesting was happening. It wasn't yet that he had registered what was exactly going on. All he knew was that everything felt different as if many people were curious and confused. Wincing he stood up, the dirt digging into his bare feet as he made his way to the front of the tent and peeked his head out.


    It was only seconds later did he see not only what was going on, but who was causing this. This wasn't supposed to be happening, everything had gone wrong. Despite his heart screaming at him to go run out and call out Kuroo's name in response he didn't. He hoped that the half god wouldn't see him, and since his name wasn't known then maybe someone could say that they hadn't seen him. As if maybe something had happened and the half blond had never made it here. At least, that's what he wanted to do. He was going to duck back inside the tent and hide, press down the feelings of wanting to run to Kuroo and hug him, let out all his tears and apologies against the other's shoulder. Kenma was unable to do any of those things as he just stood there in shock, one hand gripping the material of the tent that he had pushed aside. He was frozen due to the fact his mind and heart could not decide if he wanted the other to see him or if he didn't, and he didn't know which outcome he was hoping for.

    His yelling may have been causing a bit of a stir, but he couldn't care less. Kuroo went from scanning soldiers' faces and searching for one specific tent to simply running to each one in hopes that Kenma was there. It resulted in many shocked and confused faces, but in none of the tents he searched could he find Kenma. He never stopped calling out his name, although he knew there was always the possibility that if the other actually happened to hear it he wouldn't respond. It had been very clear that he wanted nothing to do with Kuroo anymore, but the half god decided to cross that bridge when he got to it. If Kenma wanted to ignore him so be it, but he at least had to see for himself that the younger man was alright.


    When he happened to glance at number of the tent he'd just searched Kuroo realized the next one should be the one where Kenma was staying. He ran to it, and his breath hitched when he spotted a figure peeking out from the inside. Kuroo suddenly stopped running, very certain that he'd finally found Kenma but hesitant as to whether or not he should go to him. He was at a standstill, knowing how things had ended between them and not wanting to drive Kenma further away, but needing to hold him and speak to him. "Kenma?" Kuroo asked, uncertainty clear on his face and a bit out of breath despite the fact that he didn't tire easily. The constant pain in his chest that had appeared ever since the day on the beach seemed to grow when his eyes had finally landed on the other.

    Kenma wished at that moment that he'd gone back and hid in the tent, and he could only curse his body for not allowing him to move. He stared back at Kuroo, heart nearly breaking at how the other's voice sounded. Everything that he'd been trying to avoid, all his emotions, were coming back rapidly. There was no stopping him and he was back to the day when he first had to accept this. The young boy wanted to scream and cry. Kuroo wasn't supposed to be here, it was going all wrong. Kenma could only blame himself for being so stupid, allowing Kuroo to find him. Why couldn't he have just ended up in war already, at least, that's what he was wishing for. If he was in battle then Kuroo would have never gotten the chance to get him, and he could avoid this.


    "Go away. I told you I never wanted to see you again." He didn't know how he managed to let those sour tasting words leave his mouth. Kenma was trying to sound harsh, cold, but at this moment his voice betrayed him. The sight of seeing Kuroo had ruined him and as he spoke his voice cracked. He was doing everything he possibly could not to cry or show any of that emotion but he already slipped up. There were so many things he was feeling and it hurt so much, making each breath painful.

    This time Kuroo didn't flinch away at Kenma's words. Hearing his voice break, if only for a moment, was all Kuroo really needed in order to propel himself forward and run towards Kenma. On the journey he had told himself that when he did find the other he would practice control. He wouldn't act impulsively, wouldn't even lay a hand on Kenma no matter how much he wanted to. But all that self control had disappeared when he finally found him and heard his voice. Even if it was telling him to leave and that he wasn't welcome, wounding him all over again. It didn't stop him from wrapping his arms around Kenma, embracing him tightly to confirm that he was there, and he wasn't imagining things.


    // on the shorter side, sorry, i was being rushed at the end ;_;

    Kenma's eyes widened as he was suddenly pulled into Kuroo's arms and at first he moved try to pull away but he stopped himself. That familiar scent of sweat, warmth, the sun and the earth made its way to be recognized in his mind, as well as the burning skin that had been pressed against his own with such warmth and comfort. It was all too much when it came to this embrace, he'd just been trying to forget. But all that could come to Kenma's mind was 'home'. Kuroo to him, was home. He tried so very hard to not give in but he did and his hands gripped the front of Kuroo's uniform as he pressed his face against the half god's chest.


    His shoulders were shaking and he bit his bottom lip as he tried to hold the tears that wanted to flow. He couldn't cry, he had no right to cry. Kenma had made Kuroo cry and knew that he had no right to let his tears free. He was supposed to be strong for once in his life, tell Kuroo no and back away and run away from everything. Kenma was not strong and wouldn't be no matter how hard he tried. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice coming out strained, "I'm so sorry Kuroo." He almost broke then as the words just spilled from him without permission.


    ;; it's fine c: also right here it is kind of harder to write longer paragraphs

    Kuroo felt his heart drop when he sensed Kenma trying to pull away, but it was only for a second. Once he felt the other's hands grip his uniform he only hugged Kenma more fiercely. Kuroo could feel the sting of tears in the corners of his eyes and he willed himself not to cry, but it was a challenge considering the boy who had broken his heart only two days ago was now holding onto him tightly. He could feel Kenma's shoulders shake as Kuroo buried his head in the crook of his neck, a hand coming up to tangle itself in Kenma's hair. He'd been so afraid that he would never be able to hold Kenma again, and he refused to pull away any time soon.


    "It's okay," he replied without any hesitation, his voice a bit muffled. "It's okay." He could understand now why Kenma had done it. The half blond was selfless, and he must have known that Kuroo would have followed him into the war. "I love you so much Kenma," was the only thing Kuroo could think to say, and he whispered it over and over against the other's skin.


    // also very true, but at least they're reunited now :,)

    Kuroo's words only made it even harder for Kenma to hold himself together. The tightened embrace and the words whispered against his skin only caused the wall he was trying to hold up to push him back and collapse. He didn't understand how Kuroo could be saying that, not after what he had said, not after he told Kuroo that he didn't love him. Of course that had been a lie but his mind just couldn't comprehend the fact that Kuroo was saying such a thing anyway. Was it really so clear he'd been lying?


    Kenma was shaking now and even with struggling there was no way he could hold back his tears. It wasn't soft crying either like it had been the first time he'd confessed, how he'd cry tears of happiness and so many overwhelming emotions. Right now his crying had turned into sobbing, each breath difficult and painful with the guilt and everything bitter. "I-I love you- too," He gasped out between the heavy and difficult breaths he was taking from the painful crying, "I'm sorry I told you I didn't, y-you were supposed to hate me and never come." His sentence carried stutters as he was doing his best to speak, but it wasn't easy. He hadn't cried like this in so long. Kenma was someone who usually cried in silence, the few times that not happening being with Kuroo. But never like this, not ever. It was all too overwhelming.


    ;; yeah c: we get an adorable reunion

    Kuroo was a mess of emotions, relieved at Kenma's explanation but pained at the sight of him crying. He was clearly feeling conflicted over Kuroo's presence, having never wanted him to come in the first place to the point where he'd broken things off. But Kuroo decided not to focus on that right now, and instead moved to cup Kenma's face in his hands, his thumbs swiping away the tears that kept coming. He merely shook his head in response as he gazed upon the other. "I could never hate you. Even after.....the beach, I didn't hate you. I only hated myself for driving you away." Remembering what had happened hurt, but at least now Kenma was in his arms, and now Kuroo knew those words hadn't been true.


    A few of his own tears escaped his eyes but he paid them no mind. Kuroo tilted the other's chin up lightly and leaned forward so that their foreheads touched. He'd been so scared that he would never see Kenma again, or that he would be pushed away again.

    Kenma only started crying a bit harder at Kuroo's response to his words. He'd never meant for Kuroo to feel hatred towards himself, that hadn't been his intention at all. He should have known someone like Kuroo would have done such a thing. Though as their foreheads touched he realized Kuroo was crying and the guilt he felt only grew through his other emotions. The half god wasn't meant to cry, he'd never wanted to see that expression on the other's face.


    Still grasping a hold of his sobs he was able to calm them enough he was no longer crying, but just struggling for sharp breaths. He reached around the hand that had gone to his chin and rested his hands on either side of Kuroo's face while still pressing his forehead to the others. "I didn't mean for that," his words were cut off as his breathing had still not returned to normal yet but his own tears were slowing. While speaking he tried to wipe underneath the other's just like what had been done for him. "I never meant for you to hate yourself." After that Kenma starting rambling out a bunch of breathless and painful apologies.

    "It's alright, it doesn't matter anymore," Kuroo said in an effort to console him, although it was true. He wasn't holding a grudge or anything of the sort, and none of it mattered now that they were together. But Kenma kept rambling so the only thing he could think to do was bring his lips to Kenma's. It didn't matter that their faces were both damp and slightly trembling, it felt right just as it always had. He brought a hand to grab one of Kenma's and intertwine their fingers, as if it could turn back time to when they were kids and not in the middle of a war. Kuroo pulled back slightly and pressed his lips to Kenma's forehead lightly.



    When he pulled away once again and looked up he realized it had gotten darker, and that a few soldiers were loitering awkwardly around the tent. Well, he supposed he had attracted a bit of attention what with the yelling and all. He looked back to Kenma. "Move in to my tent. I don't have to share with anyone and it's bigger. Stay with me there instead," he insisted, voice still quiet as he caught his breath and recovered from everything that had happened. "I don't want to be separated from you again," he confessed.

    ;; awww yes that kiss was adorable <3 and oops sorry for the lack of description again, i need to go find my synonym checker c:


    Kenma's rambling had stopped instantly as the lips pressed against his own. The touch to his lips was slightly damp and salty with tears but he didn't mind. Over the past two days he had been missing this, so, so much. This caused most of his shaking to stop but it stopped completely at the comforting and soft kiss to his forehead. There were still tear tracks that had dried on his cheeks and his face felt numb from all the crying but he found that to be okay.


    At the request Kenma thought of how to respond for a few seconds. After all that had just happened, even though Kuroo had shown no resentment towards him, it still threw him off a bit. At a glance he still noticed the soldiers around them and that made him feel a little shy. But he was with Kuroo now and that meant he didn't have to worry. "Okay." He agreed without saying much else but he knew he wouldn't want to be separated from Kuroo again either. As he spoke his voice had sounded very hoarse from all the crying, even when just saying that simple word.

    Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma one last time before deciding it would be best to head back now. His tent was likely already set up, being a higher up apparently had its perks, and he wanted to get away from the curious eyes. He didn't much care about the rumors that may spread when the others learned he was having Kenma move in with him. Kuroo knew plenty well that during war it wasn't uncommon for soldiers to take comfort in other men, so it wasn't a huge deal. Besides, he slightly wanted for others to know about their relationship. He wasn't sure if it was the more possessive side of him or just wanted them to know that if anyone messed with Kenma they would have to answer to him.


    "I have to go to a briefing soon, but you can get your things gathered in the meantime," he told Kenma, squeezing his hand before stepping out of the tent. It seemed the events from the beach had left a scar, for now he felt hesitant to leave the other even for a moment.


    // ahh no worries, honestly my posts aren't super lengthy or descriptive either rn

    Kenma glanced down at his hands as Kuroo made his retreat from the tent. It had only been seconds but he was already missing the other's touch. He'd gone two days without it but that seemed like a lifetime. Though after a moment he collected himself and started going to the very few things he'd brought with him. He gathered them up, glad that he'd brought so little. It was just enough for each day.


    Holding the few things in his arms he walked out of the tent to look for Kuroo but didn't step far as he still stood in the shadow of the tent. At the moment his mind was flicking to the two days before. Kenma still could not understand how Kuroo was acting all okay with that. He'd said something that he knew if Kuroo had said it to him, he'd never be able to act right again. He knew he would have ended up hiding from the world for ever, cry until he couldn't anymore, and then just feel himself fall apart. He couldn't imagine everything Kuroo had felt when he'd said those things, as he'd watched the older boy fall apart in front of him. Now the person he'd done something so awful to had come all this way, and in a time of pain had comforted him. That guilt he felt for all of that would not go away.


    ;; ah alright c:

    The briefing went over the basics and was fairly straightforward. Kuroo learned how many soldiers were in the battalion, what their plans of action were, and met all the other higher ups. He could sense a few of them were skeptical as to why he was here, and whether he deserved to have a spot as a general or commander so soon. But he was hardly offended since, in all honesty, they had a point. A few others actually felt inspired with him there, since he was a half god and they had heard about his skill and favor from Ares. Kuroo wasn't entirely certain that he still had such favoritism with his father, considering the fact that he'd bluntly disobeyed him and they hadn't left on the best of terms. Once the briefing was over and the greetings and introductions from the others finished Kuroo headed to his own tent, which was already set up.


    Truthfully, he didn't want to admit to Kenma how scared he still was. He knew the other felt horribly guilty about what had happened and he didn't want to make things worse. But he couldn't forget the words he'd said, and the lack of emotion in his voice when he'd said them. Even being away from Kenma for half an hour had caused his heart to worry. He couldn't force the other to promise never to leave him again, for he thought that would be selfish of him, but he was terrified that Kenma would again be convinced that they shouldn't be together. Kuroo kept these doubts to himself, however, and instead tried to focus on the memory of their reunion.

    Kenma had gotten the courage to abandon the safety of the tent and step out into the camp. He was shot many weird looks due to the events that had occurred. Some looks were full of hatred, others disappointment, disapproval, surprise. A majority of them were not pleasing. It made since for Kenma though, as he was a nobody and Kuroo was someone who's name just kept growing. He'd just had someone so important come all this way for him, at least that's what it would look like to bystanders. The glares he was getting made him uncomfortable and he was surprised nobody confronted him. He'd had people do that a lot and usually it would get physical, resulting in a pretty bruised over Kenma. Small scraps were things he was used to but of course he wasn't the one fighting, it was more just letting others shove him around.


    It was easy to guess which tent was Kuroo's, and he made his way there while being very aware of his surroundings. Luckily he avoided any and all conflict that had the possibility of coming to be. As he walked there he couldn't help but feel exhausted. Sure, Kuroo was here and everything. But his body was not used to the camps and moving around, and having cried so hard his body just felt tired and heavy. Once he reached the tent he just kind of stood off by it, not knowing if he had permission to enter or not, even if Kuroo had requested him to join him. Then there was the fact that Kuroo was important so their were plenty of strong soldiers that were surely watching and he didn't want to get into trouble for going into the tent.

    Kuroo blinked in light surprise as he spotted Kenma standing just outside his tent with his things. It gave him a small reassurance to see him standing there since he'd been worried that maybe he didn't want to share a tent with him. "You can go inside," he told the other simply from behind, walking up to him and gently taking his things from the other's arms. He pulled back the hanging fabric that covered the entrance and led the way inside, looking around to observe the inside of his lodging for the next few days. He found somewhere to place Kenma's things alongside his. It made him a bit uneasy to see their weapons sitting side by side, although the difference in quality was fairly obvious. It was a reminder as to why they were here in the first place, a war that they shouldn't even be participating in. Well, Kuroo realized it was too late to dwell on that now.


    He looked back to Kenma. "You can just make yourself comfortable. Have you already eaten?" he asked. He and his small crew had already eaten on the road and he wasn't especially hungry anyways, having been too wracked with emotion to actually worry about food.

    Kenma took the invitation and chose a spot to settle down after a few moments, deciding the place would be okay for him to sit. After a few moments of looking around and taking everything in so he knew where it all was he responded to Kuroo's question. "No, I haven't yet, but I'm not hungry." He admitted. The small boy was never one to each much but his appetite had grown less and less over the years after that dream all those nights ago. Though after the break up with Kuroo his appetite had vanished completely even though he was exhausted and his stomach pained him. He just couldn't find himself it in himself to eat.


    He looked up at Kuroo then, still wincing at his own voice. Kenma just sounded very tired but he wasn't the only one. The two of them appeared to have been trampled by their emotions quite a bit. Nothing else left his mouth as he couldn't find anything to say. It felt so awkward for him as the images of the beach just couldn't leave his mind.

    A concerned expression formed on Kuroo's features at Kenma's response. "Kenma, I get that you're not hungry but you have to eat to keep up your strength. When's the last time you've had a proper meal?" he asked. He knew the other didn't eat much, but now that they would be using all their energy on travel and combat he needed to make sure to eat properly. It wasn't training anymore, and although Kuroo vowed to protect Kenma it wouldn't be much help if the other passed out in the middle of battle. Kuroo leaned against his makeshift bed as he kept his gaze fixed on Kenma. He'd always been pretty thin, but it seemed it was especially prominent today. Maybe it was just because he hadn't seem him in two days, but he'd rather play it safe.


    "I can get you some food if you want to stay here, but you have to at least try to eat something." He knew it was very possible that it would just end with Kenma shifting the food around on his plate, but even that he would accept as long as he took a bite every now and then. Kuroo figured he probably sounded like an overbearing mother but he genuinely cared for Kenma's wellbeing.