Border of Tomorrow | PRIVATE

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    Kenma snapped his attention to the front immediately when he heard the familiar but also new voices. He stood up from the spot he was sitting in, having felt mighty uncomfortable where he'd been. It was just on the ground but he'd begun to feel hot and like things were crawling all over him- blame the insects of course. He glanced around cautiously before moving in a bit to try to get a glimpse of the troop. It was in less than a second he noticed the blood and the injured which gave him a sick feeling. Of course his thoughts weren't focused on the injured he saw and were focused on Kuroo, wondering if he was okay and if he was hurt and . . . just so many things.


    Finally after a bit he was able to spot Kuroo and see the blood on the other's armor which made a worried frown appear on his face. His golden eyes lit with something similar to fear and worry as he tried to pick out whether Kuroo was injured or not. He wasn't close enough to actually tell so of course he was thinking the worst. Right now he wanted to run up to the half god and ask so many things but he'd heard some and with all these people around and with who Kuroo was talking to he could not do that. So he stood on his toes as he tried to keep an eye on Kuroo.

    The general had listened intently as Kuroo spoke and once a general summary of all that had happened had been said Kuroo received a pat on the shoulder and a suggestion to clean up. The injured would be directed towards the medic tent and the half god made a mental note to go visit them later on. From what he'd seen they hadn't suffered anything too serious, but they were fortunate in that regard. Considering their disadvantage in numbers it could have been a lot worse. Now that he'd finished talking to the general all Kuroo really wanted to do was go lie down with Kenma, but he guessed the rest of the day would be quite busy for the both of them. The general mentioned having to prepare for an attack, and naturally more meetings would be held to discuss what exactly to do next.


    Kuroo suddenly looked down at himself and decided he didn't want to give Kenma a heart attack by just showing up at their tent covered in blood. It would really make all his future "don't worry"s lose their effect. He wasn't able to see the other from where he was as it had gotten crowded with the other soldiers coming to hear the news, but he hoped he could wash his armor before Kenma spotted him, so he made his way to where he knew he could wash up.

    Kenma watch Kuroo move away and felt a bit defeated. There were so many people and compared to everyone else, Kenma was very small. Sure that helped with some things but that didn't change the fact people could look right over him. Plus with everyone being so tall it was easy to lose sight of Kuroo which didn't help one bit and only made him worry more. He didn't know where the other was going. Moving he attempted to try to follow in that direction but of course within a few steps someone slammed directly into his shoulder and he let out a short hiss at the sudden ache coming on from it but of course the person seemed to ignore him which was pretty irritating but relieving at the same time.


    That small moment though had made him lose Kuroo completely and he felt his shoulders slump in defeat. He had a few ideas as to where Kuroo could be heading but he didn't know if he wanted to start a game of one sided cat and mouse. Drifting back he dodged around the crowd and started heading back to the tent, trying to avoid any and all conflict or interaction. He was still very worried about Kuroo and the other would definitely receive a scolding, but he forced himself to go back inside the tent and just wait. Kenma was already having a list of things to snap at Kuroo about for making him worried sick, though that'd have to wait until the other came back and he could make sure he wasn't hurt.

    Kuroo tried to make washing his armor as quick of a process as possible, avoiding as much conversation as he could without being rude. Thankfully, most soldiers around the washing area assumed he was tired from what had happened and didn't bug him too much, their insisting he go to the medics instead swiftly silenced when they saw that he wasn't actually hurt. He ended up taking off most of his armor in general, his helmet under his arm as he set off towards the tent, the camp busier than usual and having to resort to a brisk jog rather than his preferred sprint. It had only been one night but even that was too much time for him to be away from Kenma. It seemed Kuroo had a rather irrational fear of coming back and learning that Kenma had been sent off, which in truth wouldn't make sense since Kuroo was also a general who would be at the meeting if that were ever decided.


    But the memory of running to Kenma's home and being told he'd been sent to the war by his mother was far too fresh in his mind, and it would likely stay there until the war was over. Such thoughts only made him pick up his pace, and soon Kuroo was walking into his shared tent, "I'm sorry" being the first words out of his mouth as he stepped inside because he'd made the other wait much too long.

    Kenma had found himself waiting on the other's bed which somehow had become almost a habit in the hours they had been at this camp. He was sitting on the edge of it, looking at the entrance of the tent and jumped slightly when Kuroo suddenly entered. The immediately apology didn't help his anger and fear though, not at all. He had to take a few seconds to realize there was no blood on Kuroo and no signs of having been treated. Still, that didn't matter much.


    Kenma stood up from the bed and looked at the other with a somewhat helpless look. He'd been so scared that something had happened and that showed clearly. He bit his bottom lip as he trembled slightly. With everything that had happened over the past few days he'd just become so emotional at some points and didn't know how to handle it. He'd always been good at hiding how he felt in front of other's but that was slowly slipping away. He took in a sharp breath and tried his best to glare at Kuroo. Though it didn't last long as he ended up looking at the ground before silently walking over to Kuroo and just wrapping his thin arms around Kuroo's waist, hiding his face against the other. "I was scared Kuroo." He whispered and said nothing else.

    The half god remained silent as he watched Kenma's face carefully, fully knowing that probably anything he said wouldn't really help the situation. He could understand how much worry he'd caused Kenma, he knew that if the roles were reversed he would've been terrified for every second late, but the situation had been entirely out of his control. All he could really do was apologize and wait for Kenma to say something. He knew Kenma was mad but his glare didn't faze him; his emotions were too easy to read at the moment. As soon as Kenma had gotten close enough Kuroo had wrapped his arms around the other tightly, helmet falling to the ground, a hand reaching up to stroke his hair.


    "I know. I know and I'm sorry," he replied quietly against the top of Kenma's head. Kenma wasn't unbelievably short, just on the lower side of average probably, but he currently felt a lot smaller as Kuroo held onto him tightly. "We ran into enemy reinforcements that had just arrived on our way back here, and it slowed us down," the half god proceeded to explain, although he knew Kenma had probably been able to piece together that he'd been in a fight. "I'm not hurt, we got away with only a few injuries," he continued.

    Kenma leaned into the embrace, glad at this moment the other could not see his face. At this moment his expression had basically broken and was no longer hiding anything. At hearing those words that lecture he had in mind was becoming less and less angry. It was if he was losing energy rapidly, unable to be angry. The touch to his hair and the words made his shoulders slump as all the tension slipped from his body. He was unable to snap at the other now. His hold on Kuroo tightened and he just stayed silent for a few moments. His shoulders trembled slightly as he breathed in through his nose while taking in deeper breaths.


    It was a relief to know Kuroo had not been injured but then there was the fact he'd been so close, and that blood . . . the fact that blood was shed on that mission just didn't settle well. After thinking he had enough control of his facial expression he pulled his head back a bit in order to look up at Kuroo with a glare that had no bite to it. It was clear he was more upset than anything. There was anger but much less than before. "You should be," He said quietly, "You promised you'd be here when I woke up."

    Kuroo moved back a bit as Kenma raised his head to look at him, able to tell by his eyes and overall expression that he was no longer as mad as he initially was. The half god felt guilty for having caused the other so much worry, so he wouldn't even have blamed him for being angry at him. Merely being able to see Kenma's face again after one night of not being able to do so almost caused a smile to force itself onto his lips despite the glare currently directed towards him. He managed to repress it and instead gave an apologetic nod at Kenma's words.


    "I'm sorry, Kenma," he repeated again, because there really wasn't much else to say. Kuroo had made a promise he knew was risky, and in the end he was unable to keep it. He would apologize a thousand more times if he had to. "You know if it were up to me I would wake up beside you every morning," he said earnestly, hands moving up to cup the other's chin.

    Kenma's anger seemed to vanish the immediate moment when Kuroo's hands brushed against his jaw. He'd been so afraid, even with Kuroo's promise. Those hours had been torturous and he once again couldn't imagine how Kuroo had felt when Kenma had left for the first time. From either side it was painful and basically the most unfair to both of them. In that brilliant golden gaze of his you could see the anger vanish and it be replaced by a whole lot more. There was a large form of guilt, relief, and tiredness. "I know." He finally said, his voice quiet as if he were backing away from the conversation.


    "I know you would." Kenma finished, his voice firm while remaining quiet. "I'm sorry for getting mad Kuroo . . . I just . . ." He was being a bit unlike himself by quite a bit. Such an event with thinking the other had been gone could easily do so much to Kenma's mind as what he'd done to Kuroo's. "I wanted to believe you. So you not coming back hurt that belief. I wanted to be able to trust something for once and not be doubtful, but I guess I wasn't ready." It was weird for Kenma to ever admit such a thing like this, but these passing days had shown different sides of him.

    [ hope you still remember me cx ]


    Kuroo listened, merely shaking his head slightly at Kenma's apology for getting mad. As far as he was concerned, there was no reason for such a thing. He should've known better than to make that promise, but he'd really thought it would be a simple scouting mission. It had been unfair of him to do so at a time of war; things would be unpredictable as long as the war continued. Even so, he wanted Kenma to be able to trust in him, and his delayed arrival had likely ruined that. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise."


    "But," Kuroo continued, pulling back a bit to hold Kenma's gaze, "we know things are different here. It's a war zone, and things aren't as easy to predict as they were back home. I can't promise that I'll always be back in the morning, or that you won't ever see battle. That's beyond my control. But just know that I'll always come back to you, alright? You don't have to believe in anything else but that, if it's easier for you."

    ;; of course I haven't forgotten you c: nice to see you again, i've missed your replies


    Kenma blinked slowly as he held Kuroo's gaze. The gold flickered, showing uncertainty in that bright gaze. There were many other things dancing around in his expression as if he were calculating whether to agree to such things would end up as a positive. His mouth formed into one of those cat-like frowns that he held in silence for a few moments. "Alright, Kuroo," He said hesitantly but also with a serious tone, "I already know all that." It wasn't meant to be a snappy reply but in this situation his voice was bit sharp.


    Kenma had to take a moment to collect himself before nodding. Not even he could come up with an explanation of that sharp tone. It could have possibly been from fear, disappointment, or maybe things were settling in his mind that he hadn't realized yet. Either way he wasn't the happiest with how he'd responded and regretted using any sort of negative tone with Kuroo, since the last time he had done so was when he'd tried to leave Kuroo. Now when speaking again his voice had taken a few steps back. "I'll believe in that until proven otherwise." He said quietly.

    [ thank u c: i've missed this roleplay lol tho it's been a minute so sorry if it takes a while to get back into kuroo's character ^^; ]


    Kuroo is taken aback by the sharp reply, though glancing at Kenma it seems he was surprised at his own curtness as well. The half god said nothing, only doing his best to form a small, understanding smile at the other's words, though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. It had little to do with Kenma's response and more so with the fact that all he really wanted was for Kenma to trust in him, even though it made perfect sense not to. Kuroo wouldn't push the subject, however, and instead wrapped his arms tight around Kenma as if that would help.


    He felt particularly useless, unable to make the one person he truly cared about happy. And not for the first time he wondered what the point of his divine abilities was when they only made things harder for the both of them. Kuroo repressed a long sigh and instead buried his face in Kenma's hair, asking a question he was pretty sure he already knew the answer to. "You haven't eaten yet, have you? I can go get us something."

    ;; it's fine c: same for me


    Kenma easily noticed how Kuroo's expression was still off despite the failed effort the other had put in to hide it. Like over the years though he didn't make a comment and didn't have the chance to when Kuroo's face fell out of his line of sight when he felt how the other hid in his hair. Out of instinct he closed his eyes and remained silent for a good amount of time but his silence wasn't as long as it would have normally been. He breathed in softly, each breath barely pressing a sound into the air.


    Finally he spoke quietly. "I tried, didn't really have anything. Couldn't get through it. Got distracted." Kenma admitted. At another point in time he would have most likely lied but couldn't feel the effort to do so at this moment. There had been enough things kept shaded between the two of them and after today the courage and motivation to hide all things was slowly fading at a steady pace. He opened his eyes into a narrowed pair, looking down at the ground. He'd been quite angry with Kuroo but he was just glad the other was here and holding him. That he could be in Kuroo's arms for some time today, that the half god was here, breathing, warm, and very much alive.

    For some reason, Kuroo let out a breathy chuckle at Kenma's response. At least some things, the demigod thought to himself, would still be the same and predictable. Kenma's inclination to not eat unless told to, the feel of his smaller frame pressed against Kuroo's larger one, and the small, silent pauses in between their conversations, as if Kenma was always mulling things over in his mind before replying. Kuroo decided he could be happy with just that much.


    "Gotcha. I'll go get us some food. I know I'm starving," he said, arms lingering for a moment before pulling away. His squad had to miss breakfast due to all that had happened, having expected to be back in time for the meal, and his stomach was definitely calling for food. Even so, Kuroo was reluctant to part ways with Kenma, even if it was just to walk across camp and come back. "Try to get some rest for now. Can't say we'll have much of that once the commanders decide our next course of action," he told the other, placing a familiar kiss on Kenma's forehead.

    Kenma's eyes closed again at the brush of lips against his forehead, a soft breath leaving him. A small bit of worry spread through him at the other having to be out of his sight even if it was something as simple getting a meal. Tilting his head upwards he looked at Kuroo and slowly nodded. "Okay, Kuroo." He agreed with that familiar tone that spoke of proof of his words. The half blond would at least move to settle down instead of standing while in waiting for the older boy to return with something to eat. He wasn't exactly the happiest with having to eat as even now his stomach was still a little unsettled. Kenma would try to eat Of course what he ate had become a lesser amount over the past few days but he'd never ate too much.


    Slowly, Kenma pulled away from Kuroo. It was in less than a few seconds that he missed Kuroo's warmth and safety even though the other was barely a foot from him. The smaller boy pushed the strands of his two colored hair behind his ear. Kenma had always had an issue with keeping his hair short, it'd always fallen to brushing his shoulders or even longer at times. Sometimes it bothered him as it messed with his vision but he'd never really tied it back and he would never cut it to any short length. Within the time of the action his mind was already focusing on what Kuroo had said. It was true that there was no telling when some sort of dangerous command would break out, when chaos would break through. It did worry him, not for his own safety but for Kuroo's. It was still in his mind that Kuroo wasn't expecting much of himself, that he probably would not ever be able to survive a war, let alone a single battle.

    Once he heard Kenma's assent Kuroo let the other slide out of his embrace and made his way out of the tent. He wasn't huge on the idea of leaving Kenma alone for even such a small moment, but he also needed to make sure the other actually ate something. Not to mention the fact that Kuroo himself hadn't had an opportunity to eat anything either. He set out for the food tent at a brisk pace, managing to find leftovers from breakfast. He ran into Iwaizumi and only made a bit of small talk before excusing himself and heading back to his and Kenma's tent.


    "Back," he announced, never really sure why he did it when no one else ever really went inside their tent anyways. Well, besides that one time with Oikawa, but Kuroo decided to let that slide. He walked over to where Kenma was settled, holding out the plate of food. The portions were significantly smaller than his own, but Kenma never did eat as much as him anyways.

    Within the time that Kuroo had left the tent, Kenma had gone to sit down on the bed. He was tired but still didn't have it in him to relax but then again when in his life had he had a not so stressful time? As far as the boy was concerned there had always been stress. Shaking his head he lightly swung his legs as his gazed locked on the ground in waiting for the half god to return. It was at times like these that Kenma could only consider himself a bit selfish. Kuroo had always done a lot of things for him, even simple things like grabbing him a meal as he was now. Kenma could only realize that he wasn't all like that and that nothing he did made up for what Kuroo had done for him. In the end he'd even shoved the other away. Of course that had been resolved and the truth had been spilled but it didn't change that bit of guilt that still crawled through him.


    Kenma's sharp eyes drew back up as Kuroo returned and he made quick note of what was on the plate. He was actually grateful that Kuroo had not gotten him a lot of food, after all he wouldn't be able to eat it all. The mixed haired boy doubted he could manage to get through what was given to him but he still took the plate. He'd try for Kuroo at least. ". . . Thank you, Kuroo."

    Kuroo offered a simple grin and nod before sitting on the floor, leaning back against the makeshift bed and settling his plate on his legs. He had to restrain himself from devouring the whole meal in one bite right then and there, instead opting to actually look civilized. Even so, it barely took him five minutes for him to finish his meal, mildly impressed with how it almost managed to taste like a meal at home. He didn't think that would last very long once combat actually began, and that mere thought made an anxious feeling creep into his stomach. There was no denying they'd be going into battle soon, but the demigod wanted to put off thinking about it for as long as possible.


    Kuroo set his dishes down and rested his head back against the somewhat comfortable mattress, glancing up at Kenma to see if he was eating. His darker eyes took in the other's smaller figure, the way his hair hung past his shoulders and framed his face, and how he slowly picked at his food. "Kenma," he began a sudden, purposeful tone, "after you're done eating, let's go practice." Kuroo had already made a promise to himself that he would do whatever he could to keep Kenma safe, but so far he'd mostly been relying on his own abilities. He realized it would be impossible to keep Kenma away from every opponent that approached him, however, so he needed to make sure the other would still be able to hold his own when the time came. Kuroo had helped Kenma with training before, so he hoped he wouldn't be too opposed to the idea.

    Kenma had been picking at his food. Somehow he'd managed to make a few small nibbles and eat an okay amount of the meal he'd been given. At Kuroo's request he looked up a bit startled. Of course he'd practiced with Kuroo in the past but it had been a good while. Then there was the fact that over that period of time Kenma had not focused on his training much at all even with knowing he had the chance of going to war. The boy had lacked motivation and really wouldn't practice unless someone forced him too. And another added on negative factor was Kenma's appetite. He'd become even more skinny than he was before. Not to the point he was unhealthy but definitely to the point that it wasn't beneficial.


    Setting his remaining food down he turned his attention to Kuroo. Kenma was hesitant in his response as if he were debating on whether to agree or not. "Alright, Kuroo." He finally agreed but wasn't exactly comfortable in doing so. It was clear to him that any practice with Kuroo would probably not go well. It was obvious that Kenma wasn't a solider, all he really had was his brain and sometimes his random determination that would last a few seconds.

    Kuroo had waited patiently for Kenma's response, knowing the other wouldn't exactly be thrilled about the idea but that Kenma would understand where he was coming from. When the other finally agreed after some hesitation Kuroo nodded and offered him a grateful smile. In the end it would be probably only be more of a reassurance for him rather than Kenma, but still. Kuroo could be satisfied with that. "Thanks," he replied earnestly, his fingers almost itching to go out and practice now that the idea had made its way into his head. He couldn't deny that being a dime god had its perks physically; he still had plenty of energy despite the morning skirmish that had taken place.


    Even so, Kuroo wasn't about to rush the other. His childhood friend never ate much, but it had never mattered too much when they were younger. Now, however, he needed all the nutrients he could get, and Kuroo hadn't failed to notice Kenma's slight weight loss. It would only make things like wearing their heavy armor harder for him on the battlefield. "Take your time eating, though," Kuroo added, glancing at the plate that still contained food and then giving Kenma a pointed look.