psst the part in italics is written by Xyn, Shine's rper! And no need to respond, I'm fine with only tracks and comments <3
"Littlestar."
The tabby that had been attempting to sleep sat bolt up wards at the sound of a voice. A voice that sent multiple shivers through her body, filled her eyes with tears, caused a physical reaction to her entire figure. Real or fake? Real or fake? She was trying hard to decipher if the voice she just heard was an auditory hallucination or someone trying to prank her. But who would do such a cruel thing? "... Shine?" She whispered, voice but a croak. She failed to move, her claws embedding themselves into her light blue mattress, eyes glowing in the darkness.
That voice hadn't spoken for... a long time now. How many days, weeks, even months had it been? Since the Shaman's disappearance from Hawkclan? Not even he really knew. Perhaps Littlestar had lost track as well. She had spent some time looking for him, but her efforts went in vain. No hint of the striped tom turned up anywhere. Yet his very presence could be felt at times. The Hawkclan leader just had to concentrate, and she'd feel his spirit lurking nearby. Yet it had never been the same. It would provide temporary comfort, but the knowledge that Shining wasn't actually there brought back the pain.
She could remember all those times she'd been under great distress. All those times she felt herself nearing the fire state, about to explode and give hell to any enemy near by. And then she felt it... the blue light. It wasn't seen, no, but... she could feel it. It didn't quite make sense if she would try to explain it but Littlestar had never, ever told anyone of those comforting blue lights she felt. It often made her refrain from moving, often hushed her roaring mind and made her senses come alive again. It told her to calm, to relax, to take a breather.
Now, it was different. His spirit could be felt nearby once more. But it came with a voice. A message to Littlestar.
"You probably have a lot of questions right now, and I wish I could answer them. But I have very little time. I tried to do something risky, and... it didn't work. I've lost a lot of strength, but I am still alive. So don't worry about me. For now, worry about you and Hawkclan. I would return directly to you, but..." There was a pause in his words.
The dark grey tabby nodded numbly. She did have questions but she knew she wouldn't be able to speak them. Her voice was lost, only able to repeat the lost toms name. But he wasn't lost now, was he? Because he was very much.. alive.. speaking to her right now although she couldn't see him. It was just a voice. A feeling. Her heart was beating like a war drum. "Still alive." She echoed quietly. She waited with baited breath as the voice called Shininglight spoke of returning, leaning forwards on her mattress, staring at nothing. And then he said 'but'. A pause. Gut twisting, stomach clenching, she felt all the nerves clanging alive in her soul. Exposed and open, was this what it was?
"I don't want to put you in danger. I'm not sure what the future holds for me right now. Again, I know you have questions."
And finally her voice came, loud and clear. ".. no, Shine.. please... you won't put me in danger, I'm fine. I need you, Shine, I fucking need you here right now with me-"
Please be patient.
"-I ca- I can't be paitent, I need you-"
We will have plenty of time to talk eventually.
"-I don't have time, ple-"
Do not come find me. Even if someone tells you where I am."
"-I have to find you, please. Please."
"And one more thing," Shining's voice added. "Try not to get captured every other day, okay? I can't save you every time."
And just like that, the warm blue glow vanishes and he silences and a sob leaves her body. She slowly releases her claws that are embedded in the hard mattress but her golden eyes are pooling over with tears, trickling now. "I need you.. please." Her answer? What has her answer been to these questions, these wonders, these hopes and these dreams for years on end now? What had it always been since Littlestar was a young kitten in the Exiles, wishing for a life outside the violence, praying she wouldn't become one of them? What had it been when she had ended up torturing a kit her own age and she'd cried and begged for forgiveness? The response was always...
silence.