All of the guilt, the anxiety, the stress, and many of the emotions he had felt long ago began to compile onto Marcus. He felt weak, useless, his body feeling like it could collapse from all the repressed feelings he had felt at that moment bursting from his mind. They all blamed him for Alex's disappearance, every single one of them. If it wasn't for his stupidity, for his childish behavior and naive attitude none of this would've happened. Alexander would be safe and sound at the warehouse with him, they wouldn't be wounded at all, and their lives wouldn't be ruined by those *ssholes. The tears fell profusely from his eyes, slipping down his cheeks and onto the sheets of the bed. His shoulders shook, his head hung low in utter shame. "You never deserved this... This is all my fault, I should've just kept my mouth shut and kept us there! This is all my d*mn fault, I'm such an idiot that screws up everything!" His voice rose and rose, cracking and breaking with sobs.
You Cross Me {Private} I Cross You!
-
-
Alexander slowly reached up and wiped his own tears. Part of his left arm was numb but he was still able to mostly use it. He shook his head. "No it isn't your fault. You had no clue any of this would have happened. If I hadn't anted us to finally get out of the warehouse we would be fine. If I hadn't done anything like this we would've been fine. It is my fault!" His own voice was rising quite a bit. He didn't know if Nathan or Tobi were outside the room or not. If they were it would be clear to hear his distressed voice. He just continued to cry. He had never acted like this before.
-
Marcus gently took ahold of Alexander's hand, his fingers gently entwining with his. All the blame and grief fell upon his shoulders but.... Right now? Right now he had to focus on helping Alex, instead of being some crybaby screw up that plagued on the past. He reached over with his free hand, gently wiping away his tears. "Alex... I'm sorry, and this time, I'm not going to screw up. I mean... I didn't kill that psycho for nothing. I promise you this, I'm going to help you. You can't give up just yet, not when you can recover from this!" He stated while pressing a few kisses down the back of his lovers hand. He couldn't bare to see Alexander broken like this, suffering from the inability to move parts of his body. And he had to be strong for him, he had to help him through this.
-
Alexander let out s gentle whimper. He had been trying not to sob and that was the result of it. He didn't feel as if he could recover from this. He felt almost as if his life was over. He couldn't stop his tears yet. "I-I can't recover from this. I-I am through." He whispered and sniffed. He didn't look up when he heard the door open. Tobi stepped inside then. "Hey. Boss it is good to see you are awake." He said softly. He glanced back behind him before walking towards the bed.
-
Marcus was trying to console his lover, trying to ensure him that everything would be okay. But he knew it was untrue. Who knows how long it would take for both of them to heal? Even the small male could barely walk due to the large wounds in his thighs, which he knew would become terrifying and disgusting scars. The smaller peered up as he noticed Tobi coming in, remaining on top of his lovers bed while Nathan followed behind. "Morning Boss, Marcus. Good to see you two are at least up and not dead in your beds." He joked with a low chuckle, following behind Tobi with a bag over his shoulder.
-
Tobi smiled slightly back at Nathan as he came in. He noticed how Alexander didn't respond to them. "Kid, is boss okay?" He asked quietly. Alexander was beginning to stare off once again. His tears were finally stopping. He just looked empty. His skin was somewhat pale and he jus looked horrible. Tobi frowned when he noticed how their boss was looking. "He doesn't look good at all." He whispered to Nathan. The two had spent the night together. It could be told somewhat with some hickies that were on his neck.
-
Marcus sighed, reaching over and running his hands gently through Alexander's hair. "I... I'm worried for him. And I just... Look guys, I'm sorry for all of this bs a-" He paused as he looked at Tobi, his icy blue eyes squinting as he noticed the markings dotting his neck. Slowly he glanced towards Nathan, who had his sunglasses over his face and was acting casual. Too casual. Slowly but surely a big grin began to pull at his lips, his black brows waggling suggestively. "Soooo, I'm guessing you two were, "conducting business" together huh?" He joked suggestively while petting his lovers hair. A large frown pulled at Nathan's lips, and although the small man couldn't see it, the bosses left hand was quickly glancing to Tobias, hoping he would understand the signal he was trying to give off.
-
Tobi felt a big frown come onto his face as well. He was trying not to get a blush to come into his face at his words. "Shut the f*ck up you midget. Continue on what you were saying about boss. I'm guessing the news of him having a stroke isn't going well. I am also guessing that he also knows about the numb parts of his body. I feel bad for him." He said softly. He noticed how Alexander didn't even seem to be listening. He was looking off again. He seemed like a child or an old crippled man. "I-I wanna go home." He whispered after a little bit. He truly hope that he would be allowed to go home soon. He wondered if his father even heard the news or wanted to come and care for his son. He probably didn't. He never really seemed to care too much about him
-
Marcus snorted at the two men's reactions, knowing very well what the truth was. Ah, just wait until Alexander could hear it. "Honestly... I don't know what to do guys. He's scared, that's for sure and I think they broke him. He almost seems like...." He paused, taking a deep breath while trying not to burst into tears. Trying not to cry and have a breakdown in front of these guys. "He almost seems like.... He's given up on his life. Because he can no longer control parts of his body." He whispered, his shoulder heaving. Nathan came over, sighing and patting the small man on the back. The giant man peered over at his boss, his hazel eyes examining his weakened state. "We'll get you home boss. Just give us time." He whispered lowly, helping Marcus through his breakdown.
-
Tobi watched as Marcus almost broke down in front of them. He bit his lip softly. Despite actually hating the kid, he felt bad for him. No one should have to go through this with their lover. He figured that it would forever leave a damaged part in a person. He wondered if Alexander would ever recover from this. It seemed doubtful at the moment. "Everything will be alright kid. Boss is strong. He will pull through." He assured gently. Alexander could hear Nathan's words. He slowly moved his eyes and looked at him. "I-I wanna go home n-now." He stuttered out in a whisper. His eyes were normally sharp and strong. Now they were weak and soon filled with tears.
-
Nathan watched the two men as they laid upon the hospital bed. Just like Tobi, he felt sorry for the kid. No one deserved to go through this much, especially when your loved one, and even your own best friend, was bedded for who knows how long? It was never the kids fault that Alex got kidnapped, but he knew all the men blamed him. Every single last one of them had the kid on their shit list, hell he even thought Tobi did as well. "Right, Boss is gonna get through this. It'll take time but... I know he can do this. He's been through much worse, lemme tell ya." The larger man tried to lighten the mood up, joking around about other incidents that were as bad or even worse than yknow, having a stroke?
-
Tobi wasn't exactly the biggest fan of Marcus but he wasn't on his shit list... yet. As long as Marcus didn't do anything stupid or got on the wrong side of him, he would be fine. He chuckled some at Nathan's words and nodded. "Yeah. You should hear some of the stories that he had. He wrote some of it down and I'm sure he has it at the apartment. It is a bit gruesome but some of it can be funny. He recovered from all of it then and he will recover from it now. It will just take time." He assured. He held a light tone in his voice as well as he tried to keep the mood light. It would be easy to do if it wasn't for Alexander laying in the middle of all of them. He still looked horrible from it all.
-
(so should we skip to them getting home?)
-
yep! nvm i managed to make a not so crappy starting post!! cx))
-
Alexander had completely shut down since then. He was relieved to finally be able to be brought home. It didn't show upon his face. Tobi had discussed some things with Nathan and figured that they needed to put more security around the apartment building for them. He knew it would help calm Marcus's mind some. He also knew that everything had been really tough for him. He was happy with Nathan though. The two had been having a strong relationship so far.
Meanwhile, Alexander was laid down in the bed in the master bedroom. He had barely spoke since the day he had woken up in the hospital. Whenever he did speak, his words were short or quiet. His skin was still a bit paler than normal and he was beginning to get thinner. He hadn't been eating much. He also hadn't taken an actual shower in quite a while. It was true that he had given up. He didn't find that there was a point t in living anymore. His life seemed completely pointless now.
He laid upon the bed, curled up some. He knew that Marcus was in the room with him but he didn't let it show. He blinked slowly and shifted more. He was laying in his side then. He still couldn't move his left leg or other parts of his body on the left side. It bothered him a while lot. He let out a gentle breath.
-
Marcus was well... Thankfully for Tobi and Nathan for helping him through this. They did all the could to help him and Alexander try and return to their normal lives at the apartment. Nathan of course was responsible for getting the cameras set up anyways, Tobi had helped him order them. Security was well, needed for them. Especially even after the infiltration and murder of the other leader. But in the end, nothing was the same. And it likely wouldn't be for quite some time.
At this point, Marcus was with Alexander in the master bedroom. Like his lover, he had barely spoken to anyone unless needed. He was much paler than before, appearing rather sickly and tired for the most part. It seemed that he had barely had any sleep within the last few weeks, large bangs hanging from beneath the skin of his eyes, which were a bit puffy. Likely due to his crying over the state Alex was in. Who wouldn't cry about your lover, who was giving up on life right before you?
He sat on the floor, his tablet against his lap and his gaze blank and emotionless. He knew Alexander was aware of his presence, and he knew he wouldn't speak to him. He's already tired multiple times to speak to him, but each time he just ignored him. His fingers gripped at the tablet pen, slowly running across the screen as he drew aimlessly without a work, the scratching noises filling the quiet scene.
-
Alexander stayed in the same spot for a very long time. He was thinking of a lot of things but his mind just mumbled them all together. He didn't h derstand why he was like this. He thought he would've been fine forever. He knew that he would have some troubles with bullets wounds and things but never thought he would have had a stroke. He let out a very soft whimper eventually and shifted some. He was getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed. He fell off the bed eventually. He let out another whimper as he hit the floor. He tried to get himself into a sitting position but couldn't. He squirmed on the floor some.
-
Marcus's head shot up quickly ad he heard a loud banging noise, only to realize that Alexander had fell out of the bed. This was one of the first few times this had really happened, but usually Nathan was there to help him. But he wasn't here, nor was he big like the man. The small man quickly got to his feet, rushing over to the collapsed man while he sat there twitching pathetically. "Sh*t what do I do, what do I do?!" He thought fearfully, standing over Alexander's squirming body. He couldn't keep himself from tearing up, having no idea what to do to help him. He was way too small to be able to lift him up, and there was no way he could help him. "I... I'm useless... I-I can't even f*cking help you!" Marcus sobbed out while standing over Alex, his body shivering and shaking as the tears poured and poured.
-
Alexander felt some shivers go through him as he heard his sobbing. He couldn't do anything to to help him. Hell he couldn't even do anything to help himself! He again tried to get up. He rolled some into to not be able to get up still. He tried to use his arm to lift himself up. It was his left arm though. It quivered for a moment before it collapsed on him. He let out a cry as he fell back onto the hard floor. He couldn't feel his left leg which didn't help at all. "H-help me! P-please h-help m-me!" He begged as he looked up at Marcus. He began to cry himself them.
-
Marcus stared down at Alexander, listening to his cries and begs for help. No... No he couldn't help him. He couldn't get him up and he knew it. But even with that knowledge, he had to at least try. But why was he froze? Frozen, staring down at his lover with tears pouring from his eyes. Unmoving from the fear and shock of hearing his cracking voice cry out to him. Slowly, he came forwards, bending down next to his lover and trying to lift him. It was harder than he thought, his body shaking as he attempted to get him to sit up. "I'm so useless..." He whispered while trying to get the other up, trying to help him sit up.