you're not invisible now [ o, nightmare + breakdown ] you just don't exist

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  • /tw for gore + self-harm


    For once in his long, long afterlife, Pad was finding himself growing unbearably tired. To the point where he almost collapsed out of exhaustion in front of a bunch of NPCs. It was weird, the heaviness that lulled his usually wide eyelids closed, the lack of balance leading him to stumble around like a blind man, and the constant, but subtle slur of his words. He had to give in eventually, as stubborn as he was, finding a suitable nook between a birch's trunk and its wobbly branch. He didn't even have to think about trying to relax, almost immediately after he allowed his muscles to unwind, he was out like a light.


    He was running again. At night. It was a very familiar night. Too familiar. As he tore through the brick streets, it dawned on his sleeping mind. Was he dreaming? Could he still do that, even in death? He faltered in his sprint, tripping over a gap between bricks and cement. The boy caught himself with his hands, although the gauze wraps ripped and his palms and knees began to sting, sting with a pain that couldn't of been imagined by his dead mind. He rolled over, turning over his hands to see fresh, reddening abrasions beneath the shredded bandages. His knees were worse, dirty skin cut and raw over his bony joints. Then, he heard the barking, followed by sharp yells and the clatter of metal. Pad regained his feet with a wince, frozen like a deer in the headlights as he scrambled to process the situation. Before he could, his memory forced him to keep running, ignoring the building stitch in his side as he ducked into an alleyway. As if his body was separated from his mind, another half of him was watching in shock while the other quickly uncovered a grate, pulled it aside, and slipped into the tunnel below, careful to drag the grate back into place. As he crawled along, he swore he could hear the footsteps of his pursuers above him. Moonlight began to shine as he neared the escape. Okay, he knew this. He just had to take cover in the forest. Alright, he could do this. He had done this before many times, hadn't he? Why did it feel so doomed? Practically skidding down the grassy slopes, it wasn't long until the sound and lantern light of the guards caught up to him.


    Finally, he had outsmarted them once more. Dashing through the forest at top speed was tiring, but Pad cut the chase short by diving into a ditch, hiding in a brook that carved its way through it until he was certain that the men had all but disappeared. It hadn't been as clean of an escape as he wanted it to be, yet it was still a successful escape. At least, up until daybreak. His instincts were screaming at him to stay hidden, but Pad was arrogant to a fault. He should of never gone out into the open, where they prepared an ambush. His feet began to take him across a fallen log serving as a bridge over a rapid river, his mind begged for him to turn back. It was too late. The familiar snap of a bowstring, the familiar pierce into his back, the familiar tumble into the river. Somewhere in Pad's dreaming mind, he was trying to block it out, giving silent whimpers as he kicked and thrashed in his sleep, mimicking the way he struggled when the men finally caught him. He was to be executed in the most humiliating way possible- upside down. They had retrieved their arrow, twisting it out before they left the boy for dead, tied by his ankles to a tree branch.


    And so ensued the familiar fight to hold onto his slipping life. Except, something was unfamiliar, this time around. The river was beginning to gurgle and rise, the forest canopy stretched and distorted, blotting out any sunlight. As his eyes attempted to adjust, he blinked a couple of times, swiping away dripping blood and sweat to clear his vision. The boy would of cried out in shock, if it weren't for the bile and water and blood trapped inside his dying lungs.


    Before him, an audience of corpses began to claw their way out of the ground, jaws twitching in mocking laughter. All people that he had killed. A single guardsmen, with his skull bashed in with a rock, helmet split to reveal bone and brain. His later comrades weren't too far behind, their throats and bellies slit, exposing their guilty insides. A wandering merchant, water dripping from his rotting frame, having been drowned by an unseen force. A nosy young women, neck snapped and bruised, her dainty and crooked face eyeing him with revenge burning into his flesh. Hundreds of others, varying from century to century, all jeering and snorting at his torturous end. The boy couldn't take it, burying his face in his palms, silently praying for it to end. All too familiar voices joined in, standing out above the rest. He dared to peek. Joining the undead mob were his peers: Jerseyboy, Ezekiel, Imperia, Kage, Pierce, Harrison, Jacob, even Ska'arq, all sneering and giggling like school girls over Pad getting what he finally deserved. A familiar sob caught his attention. The girl. His dying heart sank. She couldn't see him like this! This was why she left him, this is why he should of never help her-


    The river was overflowing, creating a tidal wave already charging towards him, sweeping through the corpses with only one target in mind. In a panic, the boy reached up to try and free himself before he was swallowed by the wave, but the ropes tying him to the branch were starting to slither, and two snakes, intermingle with each other took their place. Almost instantly, Pad fell into the shadowy mist below him. The wave was getting closer. He willed himself to move, but the cold grasp of death was already upon him. Muscles seizing and lungs failing, Pad could only stare up at the wave as it crashed down on top of his pathetic form.


    There was a familiar darkness.


    The ghost jerked himself awake, practically falling out of the tree. His thoughts were reeling, he needed to find cover from the wave. Eyes still glazed over with sleep, they widened in fear as he launched himself from the tree, limping a couple steps afterwards, before taking off in full, wild sprint. He made no sound, mind not remembering to restart unnecessary breathing. A shadowy devil in the middle of the night, Pad skidded into an empty hut, cowering blankly in the middle of the main room as he started to regain himself.


    Panting hard, the ghost's expression shifted from a shellshocked one, to that of rage. They hurt him. They laughed at him. They laughed. They were going to pay, they were going to suffer they made him, they were going to die. With an echoing growl, Pad snapped, unleashing his anger on the vacant home.


    There was a crazed look in his eyes as he shifted from body to body, kicking deep holes in the drywall, clawing apart furniture with nothing but a mere swipe, even ramming into a mirror with no thought. For the first time in since his death, he felt alive. Pad was a whirlwind of destruction. Until there was nothing left to destroy. He stopped, collapsing in on himself as he hunched over, bringing on a coughing fit. His paws were terribly bloodied, cut on wood and grit, and even a few glass shards were embedded in his shoulder. In fact, his own, inky black blood speckled everything in the room. The demon didn't even take the time to admire all the damage he had done in one tantrum. He wanted to destroy more, when everything had already been. Except... himself.


    There was no hesitation at all before the feline plunged his claws into his own arm, raking a line of fresh black, oozing out and beading into clots of blood. It wasn't enough. He tried the other arm, same results. Next time, he sunk his set of jagged fangs into his wrist, and again, and again. The pain was incredible. Pad hadn't felt this much pain ever since he was killed. He watched the black fluid pour out onto the wooden floor, filling in deep grooves left by his claws. He watched until his adrenaline died down, and the regret reared its head. Finally reasonable, the demon took a glance around in horror at what he had done. He forced himself to his burning limbs, not bothering to step over broken glass, and he staggered to a corner that remained stable. As paranoia took control once more, Pad began to dig furiously at the floorboard, ripping away a wooden panel before reaching dirt.


    He needed to hide. Hide from everyone, hide from himself. Pad scooped away dirt, maw set into a grim line. Hiding was his strong suit. As soon as his burrow under the house was complete, Pad curled up into a ball, eyes staring forward, not even blinking as dawn began to filter in between the slots of the floorboards, and the entrance to his shelter. Maybe, Pad could stay here forever. Ignore the scolding and the pleading, and just never move. He didn't want to exist anymore. But he would stop existing as soon as the universe stopped existing. Pad would just have to hide away forever in his self-imposed grave.


    /tl;dr he had a nightmare about his death, and suffered from a complete breakdown, and ended up destroying an empty hut, and even harming himself


  • ***
    this is going to be a repetitive back-and-forth kind of thing isn't it

    these kids and their therapy needs smh
    ***
    There were many heavy sleepers out there, capable of sleeping through a crashing airplane. Ska'arq was definitely not one of them. Tonight was a rather peaceful night for him. There had been no signs of nightmares hovering over him. Better yet, his dreaming had been a void. Any other time the lack of dreams would concern him, but he didn't have time to think about that as he heard crashing from across the clearing. Worry evident in his face and vial, the dragon crept across the clearing, towards the broken down hut. The door was wide open, and glass covered the grass.


    And he could smell Pad- and blood.


    The hut was too small for him to fit inside, but his brightly glowing vial cast a small glow on the room as he peered through the broken window. Spatters of a dark liquid covered everything. There were many drops on the ground. Holes in the wall, broken windows... he had even gone as far as to tear up a floorboard. Faint movement caught his attention, and his eyes flickered to the corner, where a hunched form lay covered in dirt. "Pad?" he asked softly. "Are you okay?" There it was again- the same standard question.

    ***
    ATTACK IN BOLD #6e65b5 - TAGS - EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD

  • / ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


    The dark was nice. It didn't scold him, or try to baby him, or even look at him funny. It just existed, and Pad loved the simplicity of it. Yet, even untrained eyes could easily see through the veil of darkness. He jolted as Ska'arq's voice carried out from outside. The ghost released a rattled sigh he didn't even know his lungs had trapped, beginning to gain back enough nerve to take the blame for all the destruction. Ska'arq was nice, as well. He stopped himself from getting up, tensing as he falsely recalled the way the dragon laughed in what he still didn't exactly identify as a simple nightmare. Although Ska'arq probably couldn't see it from that long of a distance, Pad's lips curled into a grimace. The only person he had found worthy of his friendship, no matter how emotionless he claimed to be, was just like the others. "Go away," Pad's delusional mind spoke, forcing himself to his damaged paws, his voice echoing with a presence not of this realm, "Or I'll make you regret it." No truth was embedded in the threat, but it still wasn't an empty one. Pad felt like Ska'arq had betrayed him, deceived him, abandoned him. And he always went with his feelings, no matter how wrong they were.

  • ITS ONLY LIKE A LITTLE BIT CREEPY-

    Once again, it wasn't the noise or the crashes that the deeper sleepers would ignore that drew her. It was the blood. The everlasting lust for it, the need to be fed. But no, this was no normal blood Kageyama reflected. It was a disgusting smell. Kageyama's body wanted to even resist it, but the Doberman forced herself, eyes glowering in the dark. That was one thing about this whole vampirism thing that she hadn't even cleared up, was the vision.


    First, she saw Pad. Then she looked past the dragon, into the hut. It was destroyed. Eyes narrowed, then widened within seconds, following the trail of blood. It led from the center of the hut, to a corner - right where Ska'arq was looking. Silently, Kageyama tried to fit her head past the purple dragon, staring at the corner. "Pad." Kageyama broke her silence, finally, ears pressing to her head. This was a disaster, honestly. Something in Kageyama's heart broke.


    "Pad, you need to stop this." Her voice grew firm, muscles tightening. Kageyama didn't know if the wounds were vital to Pad's life - they probably weren't - but the smell was going to disturb the other clanmates. It was going to hurt Pris's feelings, and scare a fair majority of NPC's.


  • ***
    huff short post
    ***
    Ska'arq knew nothing about the anatomy and physiology of ghosts. Well, he knew nothing in general, but it seemed he was always learning. If he had known all of this was because of a nightmare, calling it 'normal' would definitely be a lie. Committing such dangerous acts after a nightmare would definitely not be normal. But Ska'arq didn't know anything about the situation. Yet.


    Hope flickered in his vial as Pad pushed himself to his paws, but it died away, replaced with hurt. Pad had never told him to leave before- especially not in this manner. What was wrong? "But Pad-" he started, cut off by the threat. He couldn't help but recoil, hurt increasing. His eyes flickered over to Kageyama. She was small enough to fit inside. He looked back at the ragged form of his friend. "I can't just leave you here!" he sputtered uncertainly. "Something's obviously wrong- and you're hurt! Come out here so I can get a look at you!" He was aware of Pad's healing capabilities, but that didn't mean injuries didn't concern him anyway. He hadn't meant to sound demanding, but the orange vial betrayed his true feelings.
    ***
    ATTACK IN BOLD #6e65b5 - TAGS - EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD


  • Seeing the orange spark to life around Ska'arq's neck might of softened his delusional resolve, but his wary brain held firm. Kageyama was there, her hea, and she had been present in his nightmare as well. There were working in cahoots, weren't they? They were working against him, he was sure of it. Why was the entire world out for his end?


    His thoughts only darkened as Kageyama seemed to scold him, his bobbed tail beginning to lash as he trained his crazed glare onto the doberman. Ska'arq spoke up once more, Pad was hurt? Very briefly, he glanced down to watch the black lines grooved into his arms already thinning around the edges, reversing every slit. Even the dark liquid splattering the walls and floor was beginning to disappear, faintly bubbling as the blood congealed and vanish. He was hurt. As his apparition repaired itself, he looked back up to snort out, "No." He sounded like a stubborn brat refusing to obey his parent's directions, even plopping himself on the ground and turning his nose to the sky. This house was his only defense against the consequences, and he wasn't going to leave without brute force involved. The ghost wasn't going to take orders from a bunch of traitors, especially when they didn't even bother to help him in his nightmare. His rage seemed to melt, imploding into despair.


    "You didn't even try to save me... you just laughed." he wheezed, referring to how his twisted mind pictured his peers. Devil, Pad was one fucked up kid. His lip trembled as he shifted back around to hide his mournful face, shoulders shaking to try and fight off his own cold. He was never going to change, was he? He was frozen as a vengeful ghost forever. BlizzardClan could be completely extinct in a century, and Pad would still be around. The Earth could be destroyed, and he would still exist, lonelier than ever. The only way to end his existence was if reality stopped all together. That was the only option, and it was impossible. How pathetic.