let the shadows fall away//Derrick

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    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    derrick. //This one is for Derri helping Ven.

    Venta had moved into her brother's little house. It apoeared quaint enough, and that's exactly what the young Italian-speaking tigress wanted. She smiled somewhat, looking around at the seemingly Greco-Roman inside. The strawberry tigress set up a rather small area for herself, wanting to leave the rest of it for Derrick. She felt like she was already encroaching on his space, so she would take the bare minimum needed. It really only held a bed, a book case, and a case for her to put her violin on.


    She was glancing at the music case when she realized her violin was out of tune. She gently opened the mint green bag, took it out, and began tuning it. She hummed gently. It appeared to be going well. She was using mostly the fine tuners, and she had gotten them to work, except for the G-note strung. She frowned somewhat, getting frustrated at the fact that it wouldn't tune.


    She let out a chuckle, trying to shake it off, and began tuning it... until the string popped off. Yeah. That was going fantastic. Her orange fur rippled in frustration and anger. Fan, she hissed in Italian, Can't even tune a violin correctly!


    Her tail lashed in anger, and soon,to avoid the instrument breaking, she placed it in the case and put it back up, hissing with a mix of Italian and English curses. "SPEECH" TEXT



    Derrick enjoyed being able to live with his sister now. Unfortunately, she would be stuck with him now because he wasn't sure he'd ever let her live on her own after what they'd been through. He really wished she would've taken more space to herself, and he was sure there would be arguments about that later. That day, though, he was in his room, sleeping away the day. He rarely got enough sleep, but when his mind finally let him rest, he slept a lot. When he woke for the sixth time, glancing toward the window to get the time of day, he found he was actually quite uncomfortable. He rolled off his pile of pink and blue pillows, and now felt very stiff. Groaning softly, he stood and stretched, ears flickering when his joints popped.


    Then his ears perked, straining to hear the quiet cursing from the only other resident. With a smirk, he padded from his room and found Venta looking quite frustrated. "What's the matter, sorellina?" He'd found that on his own, and he spoke smoothly, but he was anxious, hoping it was right.

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Venta hadn't known she woken him up for a bit. That's how unfocused she was. Until she heard him speak. Her ears perked as she heard the Italian, and she briefly purred. He was making an attempt to learn her language! And, plus, he was correct! She looked slightly calmer with him being in her presence. The golden tiger glanced towards her violin before glancing towards the larger white, tiger. "Ah! You're correct with the whole «sorellina» thing! But, niente, grande Fratello, bene." She wanted to test how fluent she was. She supposed he could get it anyway, from how she spoke.



    Derrick's smirk turned to a small smile, happy he had been correct. Though, he raised a brow at Venta, stepping closer and then sitting down. "Doesn't seem like nothing. You looked agitated, not to mention the amount of swears I heard... shame on you," he tsk'ed, shaking his head in mock-disappointment. Then he lifted his head, tilting it just slightly, "Seriously, though, what's wrong?"

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes


    Venta's ears drooprd, and she looked rather embarrassed at the fact that she had cursed so much. And the fact that he heard it. She thought that he was asleep. She didn't get it was rather in a teasing way, and her intrusive thoughts popped up again. She drew in a breath to calm herself. "Nothing. I'm fine, Derrick. Seriously." She swished her tail back and forth, waiting for his reply.


    Derrick hummed quietly, to himself mostly. He inclined his head, standing again and closing the distance. He stood beside her now, unfurling his right wing to cover her in an embrace. "Hey, I'm sorry. I know when's something not right, Ven." He left it open for her to say anything, as he learned from the past that he shouldn't push so much and instead let her choose. It was a hard to break, but he was working on it. Along with not being angry all the time.

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Venta looked down, and she saw the white paws close the distance, and a metal wing curl up against her in a sort of embrace. She appreciated that she wasn't really forced into talking. "You know me so well. But, it'll be alright." She partially lied. She knew it wouldn't get better without help, but she didn't need to be seen as weak or vulnerable. Especially not in front of him. She had done so already, too many times. She needed to stop being so burdensome.



    "I hope it will be, Ven." Derrick pressed his nose to her cheek briefly, before bringing his wing back and standing to aimlessly walk across the room. He paused, glancing at the case that held her violin, "Hey, what kinda instrument is that, again? I always forget."

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Venta simply nodded, waiting for her brother to leave. She let out a calmer breath at his touch, and she slightly watched him shamble around, since he was awake. But then he asked that question. It was an ordinary question, but it sent off a mix of emotions in the young tigress. Thoughts in her mind roared, and she couldn't block them out. Irrational thoughts. Thoughts she shouldn't be having. Wow, would you like at that, you're so forgetful your brother forgot something as simple as the instrument you play! Not like you'd be worth remembering. Especially if you can't even tune it correctly! Face facts, sweetie, you can't do the simplest things and you always have to rely on others, being a burden.


    She shut her eyes, trying to shake off the thought, and she was hoping that she wasn't just standing there awkwardly while her older brother equested an answer. But then, her headache was back. She couldn't mentally handle it, and it started manifesting in a physical form. It felt like it was a mixture of throbbing and stabbing. She clenched her teeth. "Vio..Lin. Violin." She used the bare minimum of words, trying not to show that she was in pain.

    She could try all she wanted, but Derrick caught onto the littlest of things. He watched the way her face changed and the way she spoke. The white tiger was quickly at her side again, lifting his paw to touch her chin gently, "Ven..." He twisted his mouth, but decided he couldn't let her not tell him. She should trust him! "Ven, what's wrong?"

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Oh. So he actually does care. Tch. And you only use him to gain attention. Stop pretending.Those thoughts seemed to pound against her head, causing her to growl at herself. Venta felt the soft touch, and that managed to help a bit. Now, she realized she couldn't hide it. She needed to have faith in him. "The darkness... it hurts." She muttered. Damn it! What was the point of being whole if this is what she would feel like?!



    The darkness that made one whole when they were full of light. The darkness that he gave her. Despite the fact that it literally saved her, he was feeling guilty that she had to feel this way now. The feelings he had been dealing with for so long. Derrick pressed his forehead against hers, gentle. He placed his paw down, pressing it against hers. "I'm so sorry, Ven." That was all he could say.

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Even in a relationship where it appears that there is half light, and half darkness, the shadows can overtake and boot out the light. And now she was learning this. She has to wonder, though. How did Derrick hang on for so long? He could've... ended it. But, he didn't. "It's alright... But... how-how did you.. hang on?" She genuinely wanted to know.



    Derrick shut his eyes, pulling away slightly. He was quiet for a while. If he had been honest, he would've told her how many times he came close to ending it. The cliffs in ColouredClan's territories had always been his favorite for a reason. But she didn't need to hear that. He opened his eyes slowly, "I... I thought about you. You were always my light. My anchor... When I spoke to you, it felt as if everything would be okay. It would... would calm the storm just a bit, just enough for me to grasp a rational thought." He drew to a quiet again. It was part of the reason he always looked for her, visited her more often than necessary. It was so selfish.

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Venta drew in a sharp, almost hitched breath. She was his anchor? Lies. She thought, shaking slightly as he pulled away. She closed her eyes. "I..I.. was your anchor? Your light? I was the one that kept you hanging on? Derrick Daremo, I don't... I don't deserve to be an anchor. I can't.. even do the simplest things right, and I hurt those who I'm affiliated with." She opened her eyes once more, and they looked dull once again. Oceanic orbs that one could have the entire seas' life in them, from coral reefs, to dolphins, now appeared like the Dead Sea.



    Anger gnawed at him and suddenly filled him. "Don't say that!" he snapped. In a sense, it was the blind leading the blind. Derrick relied on her so much to stabilize himself, when she wasn't stable herself. "Do not say that, Venta. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, you deserve so much... so much more than this world has given you. And I am so... sorry..." He looked aside, not able to meet her eyes... seeing her that way was his worst fear. To see her unhappy. He would give anything, everything to keep a smile on her face and a spark in her eyes. "You deserve a lot better than a piece of shit brother like me." There was a bitter edge to it and in the end, the anger always circled back to himself. He blamed himself every time she was unhappy, told himself he should've tried harder, shouldn't have said or done this or that.

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Venta listened to him. Despite the anger, she somehow managed to keep calm. Even if the two weren't stable, they still had each other. She shut her eyes briefly before opening them again. She had to listen to what he was saying. Or else, she may risk listening to those thoughts more and more. Of knowing she wasn't any good. Of knowing, despite being light, she wasn't even a candle in the darkness. She wasn't the dawn that those in the dark wait so long to see. You don't deserve anything except for what this cruel world has given you. You only deserve the hate. The pain. The suffering. She once again listened to the dark thoughts, but this time, didn't say anything. Until her brother called himself... "Derrick Daremo! Don't. No. That's.. that's not who you are. You're not what you say you are. Derrick, you've saved me, welcomed me with open arms, protected me, and did so much more. You're the best brother I could've asked for." Her tone started out saddened, surprised, but it became a calmer one, a one that tried to snap him back to reality.

    we'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes

    Venta shook her head. She wasn't going to let the one who saved her feel like this. "Derrick. I'm not 'never minding' this. You've always protected me. If it weren't for you, I'd still be stuck in a coma. I wouldn't be here." She was trying to snap him back to reality, though, she wasn't there either. "...Even though I don't deserve to be here." She was going down a dangerous road, again. And this time, there might not be a spirit to boot her back down to Earth.



    "Oh, Ven... don't say that," Derrick murmured, gaze hesitantly returning to her. "If you didn't deserve to be here, I-I wouldn't have helped you."


    //sorry, my muse is dead today