|~sɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ, ᴍᴇ~| ʙxʙ ᴘᴀғᴘ

Plot:

Muse A is the local weirdo. He has always been very shy, mostly due to his crippling social anxiety. He has no friends what so ever and is quite depressed. He has tried to commit suicide before, but that failed and ended up getting him a trip to a mental Hospital. Muse B is part of a rather rich family, even though he hates it. He is a stereotypical 'i hate my life' kid. He smokes weed when he can, and just cannot be bothered with life. That is, until he gets an E-Mail one day. It is obviously not for him. Muse A wrote the e-mail to himself as an assignment given to him by his therapist. It is a heavy letter talking about how he hates himself and how he thinks the world would be better off wothout him. Muse B reads this and is shocked. So, he takes it into his own hands and writes an E-Mail back. Muse A is mortified that he sent it to him, and tries to forget all about it. Until he recieves another E-Mail. This then causes the two to grow rather close. They E-Mail each other every day, trying to help each other overcome their obstacles. Until Muse A realized he has fallen in love with muse B. So, he writes an E-mail explaining his feelings. He feels pretty confident about it until he recieves quite the nasty rejection e-mail back. This shatters muse A. It also drives him to try to comit suicide again. Like before, he is stopped, but will need serious medical attention. So when he is in the hospital, Muse B hears about this and rushes to see him. This is the first time they have managed to soeak face to face. Will Muse B try to explain his actions and try to love Muse A, or leave him out to dry?

Rules:

1. I will be playing Muse A, leaving Muse B in your hands

2. Please try to write at least 8 sentances! A little less will not bother me, but keep it to at least one solid paragraph. If tou write more, i will match you as best i can!

3. There will be certain mentions of suicide and drugs amongst this roleplay. If that makes you uncomfortable, then this roleplay may not be suited for you

4. Do not be afraid to get mean when needed! Make this as angsty as you can!

5. If you have an idea, feel free to share it!

6. Please use proper grammar. This means proper word usage, punctuation, and spelling. I'm not a big stickler on spelling, but keep it as nice as you can!

7. NO TEXT TALK WHATSOEVER. Not even in the E-Mails. It is a hUGE pet peeve of mine -_-

My Bio:

Name: Cole Matthew Hanson

Cole: Charcoal, Coal-Black

Matthew: Gift of YAHWEH

Hanson: Son of Hans

Age: Seventeen years old

Occupation: Junior at Yubal High School

Sexuality: Homosexual

Personality: Shy, Anxious, Depressing, Skittish, Meek, Very self consious, Loving, Sweet

History: Revealed in first E-Mail sent to Muse B

We can begin once you have a form up of your boy!

Ooc:

Thank you for joining!! I'll habe the first post up now!

Ic:

Dear Me,

Life is pretty shitty, huh? It seems i can never catch a break, even when at home. With mom always calling me a 'queer Pansy' and dad relentlessly bashing me with his words, i'm not sure how to react anymore. Everything is... numb. Though I know i have to write this e-mail to myself. Even if it is making me shake from anxiety and causing even more depressing thoughts to spring up. So, lets get this over with.

I often think the world would be much better without me. I have no friends at all, and my parents hate me. No one would miss me, which is rather sad to think about. I'm honestly surprised Mom stopped me and made me throw up those pills last week. Withher actions before, i would of thought she would of shoved more down my throat. Maybe she does care in her own twisted way.

Maybe i should try to be more social, but everyone knows just how much social anxiety sucks. What they don't know is how much it sucks when you have crippling social anxiety. Though i will admit, i don't even want to talk to people. They are all rather rude to me anyways. Though having at keast one good friend sounds nice.

Now i need to talk about what i need to work on. Mrs. Judy will want to see at least this part. I need to stop cutting so deep into my thighs. The scars are starting to puff out instead of lay flat. Well, i should stop all together, but that pain lets me know i'm still alive. Somehow. I need to work on my social anxiety. I need to get better at talking to others. Yea, i'm sure that will happen. I really do need to start opening up to someone though. I want at least someone to notice and miss me when i'm gone.

Sincerely, Cole AKA yourself

Sending the E-mail to both himself and his therapist, Cole sat back with a sigh. He hated having to write these e-mails every day. They made him feel even more vulnerable and weak. They brought up many things that he hardly wanted to think about, much less type to his therapist. He wanted to keep everything bottled up and simply deal with it himself. He hated to bother anyone else with his stupid problem.

It was about four in the afternoon, school having ended about a hour ago. Of course, he was tormented and whispered about whenever he walked by someone. He was the one boy everyone knew was purely alone. No friends. No family that cared for him. He was all alone. That is why bullies targeted him and he was the subject for so much torment. He couldn't stand up for himself, and no one else was going to.

Falling back on his bed, Cole looked out his window and down the street. He could just run off, never looking back. Or he could swallow a bunch of pills again and end everyone's suffering. Both sounded like good options. Though he had no idea that his E-Mail was sent to someone else instead of his own. He had no clue how hard of a turn his life was about to take.

Ic:

A soft ding came from his computer about ten minutes later, notifying him that he got a reply to the e-mail he wrote. That must he Mrs. Judy telling him good job on pouring out his feelings. Though she never responded so quickly. Opening the top of his laptop, Cole saw he indeed have a new e-mail. It wasn't from his therapist, but from Santiago. That name was familiar. Wasn't he that stoner kid? How the hell did he have his e-mail address? Clicking on the reply, horror shot through him as he noticed he sent his e-mail to the other. Oh god what has he done?! It was probably a responce teling him to go kill himself, and to not hold back when doing it. Those were always so much fun to read wjen he got them.

Though, it wasn't anything bad. Reading over it slowly, he was surprised to see this boy understood what he was going through. His hands were shaking, his anxiety through the roof, yet he felt happy to see someone understood his turmoil. Deciding to write back, the quivering male slowly wrote up another e-mail.

Dear Santiago,

First off, i'm sorry for sending that really depressing e-mail to you. Must of messed up my own and it went to you instead of forwarding to me. We have never talked before, and i am sure that is not the way one should introduce themselves. Though, i'm really glad to see someone understands my pain. Even a little bit.

I can't say my parents ignore me for my siblings, since i am an only child. Though being ignored is something i'd wish they do instead of harrassing me. I don't do drugs to mask the pain, or even have medication for all the shit wrong in my head. I just habe to deal with it. As you can see, i do so poorly. I'm really happy to see i have someone to e-mail if i need to, and that offer goes both ways. If you need to talk to someone, you can just e-mail me, okay?

Sincerely,

Cole

Ic:

Now this was strange. Poor Cole as not expecting another reply, but hearing the ding made a slight smile appear on his lips. Opening the e-mail, the small male pushed his glasses up as he read. This was such a forign feeling for the brunette. He was not used to talking to other humans, even if it was through an e-mail. Is this was having a friend meant? God, he has been missing out then. Clicking the 'Reply' button, the small male began to type back.

Dear Santiago,

Honestly i may have to take you up on that offer one day. My parents would flip if they saw me with pills after an incident a few weeks back, so i would have to keep them in my locker at school. As for why i wrote that e-mail, i really didn't want to. My therapist seems to think that if i write how i feel out, then i'll feel better. It's an assignment i do every week that i have to send to myself and her. Our e-mails must be similar enough that i typed it in by accident instead of my own. It is kind of stupid i have to send it to myself, but i'm not complaining. Honestly, it only reminds me of how much my life sucks. Though i have to do it, sadly. Maybe one day it will pay off and i'll feel better.

Sincerely,

Cole

Ic:

The small male perked up as he heard yet another ding from his computer, rushing to open the e-mail. His gentle eyes scanned over it, smiling softly. This kid seemed a lot nicer over e-mails than he did in school. He seemed pretty scary. Then again, everyone was scary to Cole. His fingers flew across the keyboard, feeling rather content for once. He finally had an friend! Well, an acquaintance. But that was a lot more than he had a few hours ago.

Dear Santiago,

It is honestly a bunch of bull. I still feel bad even after writing them, maybe even worse. Looking over all of my feelings written down does not help the self esteem. As for my hobbies, i really don't have any. I guess you could say reading is one? I don't exactly have much else. Having friends would make the whole 'finding a hobby' thing a lot easier, but who knows. I mean- i suppose walking in the park is a hobby too? I really don't know. Most of the time i just lock myself away in my room so i can avoid my parents. They are the last people i want to see after school. Getting bullied makes my day bad enough as it is. I don't exactly need my parents throwing slurs at me, ya know? So, i'm not the most interesting person out there. Probably one of the most dull. Now, what are your hobbies and interests? You said you'd tell me if i told you, after all.

Sincerely,

Cole

Ic:

It was no surprise to read the other was a junkie; he knew that much. He could only hoped he was not stupid enough to use anything other than weed. God, if he was into hard drugs.... that would be terrifying. Slowly clicking the return box, Cole began to type a responce. It would have to be written in such a way to mot piss the other off.

Dear Santiago,

I'm glad i found someone who shares a interest in reading. Since i am alone most of the time, that is was i primarily do. What is your favorite book series? I love the Eragon books, as well as all the Harry Potter books. Also, i'm sure you are amazing at the drums. I think i'd like to hear them one day. Playing an instrument of any kind mist take a lot of hard work and dedication, which are two things i hardly have. Now, i won't say a lot on the drugs, just be careful with what you use. Even pot could be laced with worse things. I would hate to see tou get very hurt doing something like that. Now, moving on. I'm not sure of what else we could talk of. I'm not very good at this, seeinf as you are my first sort-of- friend i have really ever had. Plus i am a pretty boring person, so that does not help a lot.

Sincerely,

Cole

Ooc:

Sorry for not responding! I'm on Vacation and my muse has been very low due to sunburns, headaches, and nausea -_-

Ic:

A yawn tore from the smaller boy's lips as he heard his laptop make a noise, opening the e-mail with dreary eyes. He giggled lightly as he saw the other knew of Harry Potter, his heart happily skipping. This was amazing! He had a friend! Plus, Santiago wasn't an unattractive boy. Maybe this could lead to more than friendship? No. He needed to stop. He was getting way to ahead of himself. Typing back quickly, he decided this would be his last e-mail of the night as well.

Dear Santiago,

I am a huge Potterhead! I am guessing you are one too? I'm going to guess you are a Slytherin? I'm actually a Hufflepuff. I'm not smart enough to be in that house. It makes me very happy to hear we have some common interests. Now looking at the clock, i think i am going to turn in as well. I'd love to continue this tomorrow, seeing as all i have on my agenda is getting screamed at and called 'faggot' by my father. Goodnight Santiago.

Sincerely,

Cole

Ic:

The tired male read the e-mail, his heart picking up in speed happily. Someone actually wanted to talk to him...? This was great!! He finally had someone he could talk to and consider a friend! He has never had one of those before! Closing his laptop happily, Cole laid down and quickly fell asleep.

-The Next Morning

The sound of yelling echoed through the youu teen's house, and he could hear his oarents arguing over him. Many profanities and slurs left his father's lips, wanting to kick him out for being gay. While his mother was agreeing with those slurs, she was not going to kick him out. The only reason being was because he was her blood son. Cole whimpered slightly, deciding to just pretend it was not happening and E-Mail Santiago.

Dear Santiago,

Good morning! I hope you slept well. I'm not sure how to continue getting to know each other. I've never really had a friend before, so this is all forign to me. Sorry if i seem awkward or weird. I don't know what i'm doing.

Sincerely,

Cole

Ic:

The small male pulled himself from his trance as his computer made a noise, showing his friend responded to the e-mail he sent. He blocked out his parent's yelling, deciding to focus on replying to his new friend. Reading over the message, a slight smile came to his lips. Quick to respond, Cole felt a bit happier knowing that Santiago was awake too.

Dear Santiago,

I'm glad we are on the same boat then. Favorite movies? Well, i really like cheesy romantic movies like Titanic or The Notebook. I'm a sucker for movies like those.

I will watch just about anything, but those have to be my favorites. What do you like movie wise?

Sincerely,

Cole

Ic:

The small male was laying stomach up on his bed, listening to his parents bickering and name calling. He was pulled from his intent eavesdropping when his laptop made a noise. Looking over, he was happy to see that Santiago had responded. Rollig over so his stomach was flush with the bed, the small male began typing.

Dear Santiago,

Oh i really am. Guys show me kindness once and Boom! I fall for them. Not that it happens all that often. As for the movies you listed, i have seen most of them. They were all really good! The only ones i haven't seen are A Never Ending Story and Monster Squad. They certainly sound interesting. Princess Bride is so good, and i love the romantic aspect of it. Like i said, i'm a sucker for romance. And happy endings, but mostly romance. I have also seen the Breakfast Club and Breakfast at Tiffany's. Have you seen those?

Sincerely,

Cole