I'VE GOT QUESTIONS — MODERN HUMAN CHAT AU

bohemiaisdead: okay, it took forever, but the cats gone

bohemiaisdead: the bad news is that i've got a severe rash on my arms / hands / face

bohemiaisdead: roger's going to take me to the hospital

bohemiaisdead: wait, here he is. i'll update you guys later

MEOOOOOOWKAI: ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

MEOOOOOOWKAI: me, a hot mixed papi™ finally bout to get laid

MEOOOOOOWKAI: what kinda wine you like

babe: mmm yo homegirl is getting a date

babe: yeet lmao some italian babe picking me up

babe : got to look fingerlickin good any ideas ??

SpicyItalian: mm is that so

SpicyItalian: and would they happen to be a spicy italian, perhaps?

SpicyItalian: also u don't need any of our advice cuz u always look good B)

MEOOOOOOWKAI: drench your naked body in spaghetti and tomato sauce and go to his house like that

MEOOOOOOWKAI: have him lick it off u

MEOOOOOOWKAI: italians are bitches for spaghetti and tomato sauce

MEOOOOOOWKAI: and its literally "fingerlickin good" if you have a good recipe for it

lexlexlex: wow drenching yourself in Italian food sounds very sanitary

SpicyItalian: dammit i'm exposed

SpicyItalian: that's my kink

MEOOOOOOWKAI: because italians

MEOOOOOOWKAI: sanitary lmao

MEOOOOOOWKAI: yeah you can take a bath? before and after?

MEOOOOOOWKAI: or did you forget that concept existed?

imadethisaccountforJacobsohewouldstopasking: hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!!!111 wooowowoowowlwowowowkwiwbfnoaosbfnrjwijvjeksn x brownfield nejsovosna. Fjwkfn gha dnjan. Yahdn cv nfjns scndjnd hsnsjjfr fnjanfnfndnf

lexlexlex: lol

lexlexlex: imagine taking a bath in spaghetti and sauce

lexlexlex: Italian bath bomb

lexlexlex: hi!!!!! @ Jacob

babe: aywww ty @ italian

babe: decided to go sanitary?? took a nice bath n threw on a dress

babe: hope he doesn't make pasta b/c the dress is white and i'm clumsy AF

babe: let me make pasta n drench it on me for u italian

babe: hellooo @ jacob!!

imadethisaccountforJacobsohewouldstopasking: kfosfke d fkakfndjakcnna keoebdkapf. Akocnis kwkapvka wooo woo woo. Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

babe has changed her username to bestfriend

bestfriend: the s word isn't very kid friendly

bestfriend: hi jacob