He folded his arms and looked away, ears flattening. "I can explain it to you if you want. Since it's not a secret anymore.."
~ ∂ση'т вℓαмє уσυяѕєℓƒ ~ {P}
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Becky began to tremble softly, her arms coming to wrap around herself tightly as she squeezed her eyes shut.
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Verte noticed this and stared back at her slowly, then shook his head faintly and murmured quietly, "Or not.." He sighed suddenly and murmured, "Becky, please stop. It's okay, really. I understand it was an accident and so I'm -- I'm not mad at you, for sure." His eyes widened. "You didn't think that, did you??"
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The cat looked up at him, the tears that pooled in her grey eyes flashing before she looked down again. "I-I didn't... I don't mean to, Verte, I'm sorry-- it was just so prominent for a m-moment, and it was connected with practically everything else, and it was just--" she put a hand to her head, closing her eyes and exhaling weakly, trying to calm down, trying to focus on her own thoughts and not his.
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"I know," he murmured faintly, gently and hesitantly pulling her into another hug. "But it's okay, really. Everything I just said, I know that, and it's all right."
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Becky pressed her face into her hand, squeezing her eyes shut tighter.
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"Listen to me," said Verte crisply, drawing back just enough to gently tilt her chin up. He stared down at her solemnly. "Look at me. Do I look angry at you?"
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"I'm not worried about you," Becky rasped weakly, unable to look him in the eye, ears flat against her head.
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He frowned softly, then narrowed his eyes slightly at her. "You aren't mad at yourself..?"
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"I'm... I'm not mad," came the weak, unconvincing answer. "Not... mad. I just wish I could control myself m-more... it's not okay for me to just read people's thoughts like this..."
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Verte let out a soft sigh. "That makes two of us," he murmured, then added softly, "Well, at least it's me, who doesn't really mind. I mean.. I hate that you saw that, but it was an accident, so I'm not angry.."
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Becky flinched.
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Verte rubbed his temples. "I mean I hate that you saw that because I never want people to..." He trailed off, wavering, his thoughts flashing, ...get to know me. I just hurt everyone. I can't just show what's in the inside on the outside, I can't let anyone know that... it's been... that hard...
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The cat put her hands to her head. "N-No-- stop, stop it," she yelled, her voice raising for the first time since Verte met her. Her eyes squeezed shut once more as she pulled herself away from the bat, growling. "Stop!!!"
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Verte let out a squeak and recoiled away from her, eyes wide in alarm.
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She turned away from Verte, continuing to dig her fingers into her head and bending over. "I'm tired of this!! I just want to hear my own thoughts!!"
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Verte flinched, eyes wide, wincing as he covered his own ears. But as he did so, he made an effort to think of absolutely nothing.
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"Why is that too much!?" Becky fell to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why--??" Her voice immediately lost its volume after a minute or so, her voice trailing off. Her chest heaved with short breaths as she sat there. She knew it was pointless to get upset, she knew it lead to nothing useful, but she was just so tired of it, tired of listening constantly to voices that weren't hers , that didn't belong in her head. She hated that she hurt Verte by listening in on his thoughts and hurting his feelings.
Calm down, Becky. Getting upset isn't going to do anything. All you're doing is worrying Verte and hurting his sensitive ears. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and deal with it. You have to for the rest of your life, after all.
The girl slowly put down her hands.
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(-quietly brainstorms ways to get Becky to meet Mirage so she can have a mentor for this-
-tries really hard as always not to secretly and immensely ship Mirage with Cream-)
Verte tried not to look at her, tried his hardest not to think about absolutely anything at all, because just as always he was finding himself making everything worse.
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Well she's pretty much learned to drown it out; it's just that she's tired of hearing other people's voices in her head in general
XDD)
Becky sighed deeply as she sat back and wiped her eyes with her arm. "I'm sorry," she murmured, sitting there silently. "That was uncalled for."