A maniac messiah |o, body on shore| Love for him is pain

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    • A maniac messiah |o, body on shore| Love for him is pain



      //Tw for suicide and Holocaust mentions
      Atticus lived quite the lives.

      He was a human decades ago, he lived quite a strenuous life during complicated, difficult times. Born and raised in poverty, son to an alcoholic father and a Jewish mother, he was a minority and considering his time and the rising of the Nazi party, it was not a minority that was safe to be a part in. His ethnicity, his religion and his identity shaped the way he saw the world, it formed how others perceived him.
      Like his abusive father, he wound up a soldier, a medic upon the fields of Iwo Jima only to be captured and sent to the Germans to be tortured endlessly and constantly in a starving aching body that could barely keep itself upright.
      his life was nothing but agony and it lead to his eventual demise.
      However, he opened his eyes and found himself in the form of a coyote. The Lord above blessed him with another life and in that body he found the love of his life, in that body he got mangled and blinded, in that body he got addicted to Morphine, in that body he became a father.
      Life wasn't something Attie held on to for long, so it seemed.

      The man had been married. He had been happy, he was a deputy, a medic, a father, but here right now one would see him only as a man who had suffered.
      The moose was washed ashore on Riverclan's beaches, his body cold and drenched, scarred up and thinned down to the bones. The velvet upon the form of his antlers were scratched up, red exposed where keratin revealed itself through the cracks in the vessel-filled flesh.
      He was unconscious, his eyes close, his body sprawled as water lapped over his side.
      Upon his throat, there was an incision, an old one. A diagonal cut over the right jugular.
      A suicide attempt. It had gone wrong, however, the cervid came across a stranger who nursed him to health and after that he tried to rid himself of his life again. He threw himself off a cliff and landed in the sea below only to wind up here

      A father, a deputy, a husband.
      Why did he want to die? Why did he want to leave them all behind?
      It was for there safety.
      There was a disease within the mind of Atticus Hacksaw, it took over like a cancer but it was nothing physical, no, it was mental. Mental instability crept up on the veteran like a time bomb and it finally exploded.
      The moose ended up experiencing delusions, temperament swings, unreasonable paranoia and violent tendencies.
      He had assaulted a member of his own clan which resulted in his reasonable demotion of his rank as deputy, but then his health would get worse
      He was haunted and tortured by hallucinations and distortions, he couldn't allow himself to hurt his children in paranoid panic, he couldn't hurt his husband.

      So, Atticus left in hopes that solitude would cure him, but such thought was concluded as false. His health deteriorated more and more.
      The moose fell into self destruction.
      He bashed his rack wherever he could, leaving split branches and crunched bushes where he trampled in hopes of breaking the antlers from his skull and bash his cranium in for a quick death.
      He kicked at himself in horrid panic every time a hallucinogenic episode struck the veteran, his forelegs were quite swollen from kicks and tramples he placed upon himself.
      In delusional panic, Attie tried to end his life twice to stop suffering, to stop everything.
      Feeling guilty, feeling pain, agony.
      He didn't want to live like this.

      But yet there he was upon Riverclan's borders, banged up and broken, barely conscious as the icy ocean water lapped up his sides, death slowly crawling it's way into his core but not quite.

      //injury list: Bruised ribs, a few broken ribs, moderate concussion, infection at the cut on his throat, low blood volume, mild brain damage.

      (c)trexgirl

      I have my father's eyes | 4/20

      GENERAL:
      - Atticus Hacksaw| "Attie" | Male
      - Homosexual
      - Taken, married to Henry Hacksaw
      - Former medic and deputy of Windclan
      - Currently residing in Riverclan
      - Father to many
      - Stage 3 of 4
      FACTS:
      -Was a medic in World War 2
      -Holocaust survivor
      -Mentally disturbed, many undiagnosed illnesses
      -Religious, Jewish
      -Former Morphine addict
      PHYSICAL:
      - Moose | health: 90%
      — An absolutely gigantic bull moose covered in scars with a dark brown coat with a huge black muzzle. Has dark olive eyes and extremely long, thin legs that render him quite clumsy. Has an incredibly minuscule nub of a tail that is often hidden under dark, coarse fur. Has a giant rack upon his head which is currently covered in fluffy, soft velvet. Wears a gold chain necklace wth his wedding ring on it
      PERSONALITY:
      -ISFP
      -Neutral Good
      Unpredictable, Temperamental, Uneasy, Paranoid, Guilty, Ashamed, Distant, Delusional, Defensive, Selfless
      INTERACTION:
      - Moderate physically | Medium mentally
      - Will avoid fights
      - Attack in underlined black



      With my kid on my shoulders I try
      Not to hurt anybody I like

      Roleplayed by: Number 1

    • i sat alone in bed 'till the morning, i'm crying,
      "they're coming for me" — tags
      Spotting the large moose upon the shore, unmoving and seemingly unconscious, the natural hunter would prey on him and move forward stealthily, a low growl rising in his throat. If he could manage to finish it off then this would be a big meal for the clan.

      Before he could strike, however, the faint scent of WindClan reached his nostrils. Titan also noticed the accessories that the moose wore, and it was obvious that this wasn't a feral animal.
      Slightly disappointed, Titan would rise from his hunting crouch and hurry over to Attie's side. "Can you hear me?" He asked firmly. If he was unconscious, then he'd have to call the medics over.
      — WELCOME TO THE END OF ERAS



    • If Titan would have proceeded with his instincts to kill and execute the moose upon the shore, the action would have probably been welcomed. Now, life seemed to have been constant suffering with no meaning, his mental health in a constant train of deterioration Attie felt like there was no hope of rebuilding his mind to what it once was and soon he theorized that he would lose himself completely whether to hallucinations or dementia, he expected it.

      A foreign voice reached his ears and a strange but yet familiar smell reached the moose's muzzle. He let out a low snort and a gasp for air before finally his lids flipped open to reveal dark olive eyes, the white's exposed in an air of panic. The gigantic scarred up cervid jerked only to fall limp once again, body obviously drained of energy, his core, although powerful, lacking it's strength.
      Atticus was sick of being strong. He was sick of surviving only to suffer more. He hated this bitter selfish thoughts, he hated that he wanted to give up and to fade away. But death seemed so much better than losing himself forever, so, the moose would close his eyes again and murmur out a response in a hoarse, throaty tone.
      "Jus' leave me. Please."
      His voice was quiet, frail and choked up but even then his drawl was still carried in his words, maybe even amplified due to exhaustion.

      (c)trexgirl

      I have my father's eyes | 4/20

      GENERAL:
      - Atticus Hacksaw| "Attie" | Male
      - Homosexual
      - Taken, married to Henry Hacksaw
      - Former medic and deputy of Windclan
      - Currently residing in Riverclan
      - Father to many
      - Stage 3 of 4
      FACTS:
      -Was a medic in World War 2
      -Holocaust survivor
      -Mentally disturbed, many undiagnosed illnesses
      -Religious, Jewish
      -Former Morphine addict
      PHYSICAL:
      - Moose | health: 90%
      — An absolutely gigantic bull moose covered in scars with a dark brown coat with a huge black muzzle. Has dark olive eyes and extremely long, thin legs that render him quite clumsy. Has an incredibly minuscule nub of a tail that is often hidden under dark, coarse fur. Has a giant rack upon his head which is currently covered in fluffy, soft velvet. Wears a gold chain necklace wth his wedding ring on it
      PERSONALITY:
      -ISFP
      -Neutral Good
      Unpredictable, Temperamental, Uneasy, Paranoid, Guilty, Ashamed, Distant, Delusional, Defensive, Selfless
      INTERACTION:
      - Moderate physically | Medium mentally
      - Will avoid fights
      - Attack in underlined black



      With my kid on my shoulders I try
      Not to hurt anybody I like

      Roleplayed by: Number 1

    • i sat alone in bed 'till the morning, i'm crying,
      "they're coming for me" — tags
      Titan listened to the poor moose respond, begging him to leave him alone. Unknown to him, Titan was similar to the former deputy. He was a new father and he was a... boyfriend. Not a husband, but pretty close. As much as he didn't want to deal with this, he had to. "I'm not leaving someone to die on our territory." Though Titan showed that he somewhat cared about the wellbeing of Atticus, he was still rather blunt. As of late, he had been growing more harsh with his words. Titan observed the moose with his sharp gaze, noticing the area around his ribs roughed up and looking out of place. Considering how drained the other sounded, he doubted that he'd be able to make it all the way back to camp.

      "Arcanepaw! Rosewater!" Titan let out a sudden roar, sounding like that of a tiger's. Though he was a snow leopard, his vocal chords were mutated. Whether it was by miracle or hidden genetics, he somehow had it. He needed to alert the medics to the scene somehow.

      // @Arcanepaw C. @rosewater.
      — WELCOME TO THE END OF ERAS


    • Ramses Harbinger-Xerses
      duncan vantas xx kali xerses 8 months riverclan first mate

      It wasn't often that a moose found its way to RiverClan's territory - there was an abundance of deer, but the tropical climate didn't invite many moose. Like Titan, when he caught a whiff of that particular scent, he set off eagerly in hopes of having a much-missed meal. However he too was disappointed in that regard - this was no everyday moose. The canine came to a slow stop, glancing over the sorry state of the poor creature. It honestly seemed as though killing him would be doing him a favor, in his condition, but Ramses too was bound to the same code that Titan was - they couldn't just leave him to die. He had no medical knowledge - he hoped that Rosey and Arcanepaw would be here soon, or at least somebody more competent than himself. Ramses was great at destroying things, not fixing them. He wanted to ask how the moose had come into all of these injuries, but figured it could probably wait. "What's your name?"

      TAKE IT ON THE OTHERSIDE
      played by effy • hard • confident, extroverted, relaxed, easygoing, arrogant direhound • faceclaim

    • arcanepaw creux . ext. riverclan . second mate and head doctor
      I AM AN EFFICIENT MACHINE YET I BREAK DOWN SO EASILY — tags
      detecting his name, the boy did what he usually would do. he gathered his herbs, all sorted in a little bag that he now carried around because, y'know, he didn't know what was happening yet.

      he handed the poor moose - he really had no idea it was atticus yet - some burnet, pushing it towards his mouth. "can someone give me a quick rundown of injuries and conditions?" he said quickly, pulling out more jumbled herbs.
      give me love, give me dreams, give me a good self-esteem

      played by tempest !
    • "Is there anything I can do, Arc?" the unicorn would ask as he trotted towards the growing group. Oh that was a bit strange, regardless the fact they did live on an island anyways. Why? Because you would expect more castaways here, but this was the first one he had seen yet docking here. Or well, body docking here. The actually creature didn't exactly seem up to date with the moment.
    • I'LL TAKE ANY DARE — ivylee x. — riverclan leader — samoyed — she/her — tags
      Ivylee had known Atticus, yes. He was WindClan's deputy... someone that she was fairly acquainted with. However, what she didn't know was that this was him right here. He was too beaten up to recognize, but she did detect the scent of WindClan coming off him, which made her nervous. How had this happened to him? That was something else the samoyed was unsure of, but she found herself approaching with a light frown and her ears pinned. Titan had found him and called the medics over, and now Arcanepaw was on the case, with Elixir offering to help. Atticus was in good paws. Shifting beside Ramses, the skipper watched with wide eyes, wondering if she could do anything to help as well, but she was rather queasy when it came to situations like this, so she didn't speak up about it. She only leaned forward and whispered, "Everything will be okay, I promise," to the injured male.
      (c) to pure
      so many roads I've yet to travel, so many friends I haven't met
      SO MANY NEW ADVENTURES JUST AROUND THE BEND
      — ♡ — ( biography ) — ♡ — ( played by kicksie ) — ♡ —