LOOKING FOR A BREATH || open, joiner

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    ✦ — nothing.


    that's what she felt. or, rather, what she didn't feel. it was far too cold for her nerves to register the searing chills that engulfed her dainty paws or the solid freeze of her facial area and extremities. at least, xena thought with an inner voice of self-administered mockery, this way she could no longer feel the tumultuous churning of her empty stomach. that was an upside, if you could even consider it that. a hidden blessing at most. didn't mean she wasn't still going almost a week without decent sustenance.


    all that considered, the toyger decided she'd rather be out in the relentless world of frost and running on empty than back where she had been. the ache of her middle reminded her of the litters she'd been forced to conceive - litters she had never wanted. xena had had her life planned out from the beginning. she wanted a nice home with the sweet upwalkers she'd be borne to, she'd wanted to stay with her parents, she'd wanted to settle down with a mate on her own terms and have kittens when she was ready. none of that happened.


    plaguing thoughts swarmed her brain the way bees did a hive. for once, she couldn't ignore them. the slush combined with the weak barrier of short fur left her body detached from her mind. no longer could the sting of pained pads nor the ebbing strikes of the need for food distract her. now, all she had was her thoughts. somehow, she longed for the physical pain to start up again.


    having delved into the all-consuming thoughts of melancholy, xena almost missed the shift in scent's the earth held. it was weak, as the smell was masked with the damp snow of the late season, but she picked it up. cats. there were others nearby. all at once, her heart leapt with glee as her body shrunk into scared convulsions. who was to say they wouldn't hurt her here? who was to say she wasn't to be used as some kit-producing machine?


    but, no, she needed to talk to them. xena was intelligent enough to recognize that her chances of surviving out here on her own were slim as her trembling forelegs. so she forced herself to press on. the movements were mechanical and oh so forced. they carried her sluggishly through the white overlay of winter. she aimlessly wandered the wide world, stumbling cautiously along much like a lost fawn would. xena could only hope she'd find some sort of help here.


    tags - 1/19


    freckleface had never had the life she'd wanted. from birth, she'd wanted the good, fairy-tale story; she'd wanted a mother who grew into an elder, a loving mate, a few litters of kits. she wanted to be a queen, a mother. but moons of wishing on the stars had proven fruitless; any tom she grew to favor left her, and fem's weren't even a thought. a girl couldn't give her children, so she resisted the desire most days. it had left her with a dozen adopted children and a place as a respected warrior. after all, it was easier to just pour her frustrations into her duties.


    as she always did, whenever feeling that twinge of loneliness, the feline found herself on a solo patrol around the border, to check up on any scents of tresspassers. they'd had a fair amount lately, but none had been negative, save for the bloodclan raid that had quickly been extinguished. today, however, there was yet another trespasser.


    she smiled as she approached, always the jolly one. she saw no reason to treat every unfortunate soul at the border like some enemy. if she didn't smell bloodclan on them, chances were, they had good intentions. so she cleared her throat, hazy green eyes bright.


    "hey there - you're on windclan territory, stranger." she called, moons of training teaching her to keep a friendly demeanor but instincts on edge in the event that the fem snapped. "is there anything we can help you with? directions?"

    ✦ — soon as a silhouette appeared upon the not-so-far horizon, xena's ears were erect with alertness. the approaching fem grew near with a pace that wasn't slow enough to keep the toyger waiting, but wasn't fast enough to be a threat of being removed from the lands. her suspicions of the encounter were proven true with the friendly greeting coupled with a smile that could have been made of sugar.


    "windclan," the fae echoed. the word was said in a tone that made it seem she knew what in the world that was. her voice was weak with a shiver, though grew in volume ever so slightly with the next part of her answer. "a place to stay and some food would be nice. if not, some directions to either of those things would work, too. can't say i know the area at all."

    a weak chuckle was given at the last part. it was so true that she couldn't help but feel amused by that. she didn't know the area, nor what this feline was speaking of. emerald spectacles moved to implore answers from the fem, fixing on the girl with a look of downtrodden sorrow directed at xe's own predicament.

    tags - 1/19


    freckleface inspected the fem almost unconsciously. her gaze roamed over her legs, her shoulders, her hips. she was looking for some sign of power, a sign that the feline could make it in the moors. and whatever she was looking for, she seemed to find it.


    her smile brightened and the feline cleared her throat, nodding over her shoulder. "if you'd like to come to camp with me, i can get you some food and introduce you to our leader. though i see no reason why maplefur wouldn't let you stay. my name's freckleface, by the way."


    [rushed]