✦ — nothing.
that's what she felt. or, rather, what she didn't feel. it was far too cold for her nerves to register the searing chills that engulfed her dainty paws or the solid freeze of her facial area and extremities. at least, xena thought with an inner voice of self-administered mockery, this way she could no longer feel the tumultuous churning of her empty stomach. that was an upside, if you could even consider it that. a hidden blessing at most. didn't mean she wasn't still going almost a week without decent sustenance.
all that considered, the toyger decided she'd rather be out in the relentless world of frost and running on empty than back where she had been. the ache of her middle reminded her of the litters she'd been forced to conceive - litters she had never wanted. xena had had her life planned out from the beginning. she wanted a nice home with the sweet upwalkers she'd be borne to, she'd wanted to stay with her parents, she'd wanted to settle down with a mate on her own terms and have kittens when she was ready. none of that happened.
plaguing thoughts swarmed her brain the way bees did a hive. for once, she couldn't ignore them. the slush combined with the weak barrier of short fur left her body detached from her mind. no longer could the sting of pained pads nor the ebbing strikes of the need for food distract her. now, all she had was her thoughts. somehow, she longed for the physical pain to start up again.
having delved into the all-consuming thoughts of melancholy, xena almost missed the shift in scent's the earth held. it was weak, as the smell was masked with the damp snow of the late season, but she picked it up. cats. there were others nearby. all at once, her heart leapt with glee as her body shrunk into scared convulsions. who was to say they wouldn't hurt her here? who was to say she wasn't to be used as some kit-producing machine?
but, no, she needed to talk to them. xena was intelligent enough to recognize that her chances of surviving out here on her own were slim as her trembling forelegs. so she forced herself to press on. the movements were mechanical and oh so forced. they carried her sluggishly through the white overlay of winter. she aimlessly wandered the wide world, stumbling cautiously along much like a lost fawn would. xena could only hope she'd find some sort of help here.
[fancypost=bgcolor=none; bordercolor=transparent; borderwidth=0px; width: 500px; line-height:110%;]GENERAL:
★ XENA | Cis female, she/her pronouns
★ Homoromantic asexual | No Crush
★ Single | ½ of nothing | Uninterested
★ NPC xx NPC | Gen 1 | Mentor to none
★ 29 months old [ages every 100 posts]
★ Loner (to-be windclanner)
IMPORTANT FACTS:
★ came from a breeder
★ has had three litters
★ dislikes toms and kittens
★ strong need to be accepted
PHYSICALITY:
★ domestic feline [toyger] | health: 100% 1 2
— orange-based tabby with branched ebony stripes
— light white dusting muzzle and underbelly
— eyes are a medium green tone
— pretty fit for a ex-kittypet
— current injuries: none
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INTERACTION:[font='verdana']
★ Doesn't trust easily, not quick to befriend
★ Sufficient training | Physically easy | Mentally medium
★ May start fights | Will show mercy | Will not kill
★ Speaks in bold gold | Attack in plain bold
★ Can powerplay peaceful or nonviolent actions.