Lev nodded his head at her sharpened tone. He didn't ever want to leave her side again, it had already been such a miserable experience so he had no sort of inclination to even leave her side. He almost seemed like a child the way he was clinging to her, not even minding when she had squeezed him tighter. It didn't hurt, nothing would hurt as much as the brutal repairs he had went through or the feeling of being separated from Kaori. He looked guilty at her words, he should have said something instead of leaving. However before his mind could bring together the words he wanted to say to her, her lips was upon his again and had properly silenced him before he could begin to apologize. His body went utterly still as he didn't seem to respond for a few moments, as if his mind was trying to restore previous memories and sensations and only coming back with vague and slight feelings and sensations. That scared him. He felt numb, with the only emotions flowing through him that he could clearly recognize being guilt and fear. Not only that, it wad a struggle to shake away the trauma he had so recently went throughl to focus. However, his lips had hesitantly pressed back against her's as he remembered the familiar feeling once again, his eyes closing as he forced all the energy he could muster into the kiss. It wasn't much energy, quite low actually as if his body was sluggish. But he had at least lessened his tight hold on Kaori but hadn't let her go from him just yet.
The Definition of Alive [bxg, female needed, pafp]
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Kaori was all too aware of his hesitation. She was so happy to be with him, so scared to love him that she didn't care. She tried not to care when he didn't kiss her back or when he seemed so numb to the kiss. Like it were just a kiss without the love she so desired. And when he started to kiss back, she still found the kiss lacking it' usual passion. It was understandable, he'd just suffered a trauma that no one should have to endure, but still she knew things wouldn't go back to normal. Those memories of his would never leave, and she knew he'd never want to talk about it, so she was back where she started. Exhausted, terrified, but with him alive in her arms. That pleased her. She pulled away from the kiss, and glanced around. They both desperately needed out of this room, this place was too much for Lev, "can you move?" she asked, her voice shaky, "let's get out of here and find a hotel to stay at. Then we can talk. She didn't want to ask about what had happened, but now that his heart was replaced and stopped beating, did that mean they were back to the day they met? Did his emotions become dull and what about his heart beat? Should they find a way to make him feel alive again or did he still feel alive? Or was it all too soon? No, they needed to find a hotel, rest, and then she'd figure it out later. Surely his brother would leave them alone...for now?
-
Lev had allowed her to pull away, though at her words he once again hesitated. He wasn't sure if he could. Before he could properly respond, his brother had cleared his throat, not having left just yet, "If you're going to leave, may I suggest putting some clothes on him first? Its just a suggestion but I'm sure people would be questioning why he would be walking around naked with blood and you know the stitches." He paused as he shrugged, as calm as ever as he then had made his leave, walking up the stairs and disappearing from view. Lev blinked then he hesitantly tried to get to his feet, but he staggered a bit. It wouldn't take him too long to regain being used to walking, but it was like he went through a full out reset on his body. However, he did realize he should put some clothes on, not having really noticed it before through his fear which his expression although blank seemed to have a slight tint of red. At least he hadn't completely have dulled emotions, he could almost still react as he did before. It simply would take time.
-
Kaori blushed, she had forgotten about his brother, hadn't even noticed the blood and nudity because she had been so distracted and relieved by his presence. She watched him so, murmuring an incoherent thank you. Once again, he looked at Lev rushing to give him stability, "let me help you get dressed," she said, "when he get a hotel you can properly clean up," She glanced over his still handsome, but new body, blushing. Honestly, she wasn't sure how to take the changes or what to think. He was like the same person, same Lev, but slightly different, like a factory reset on a computer with everything backed up in his head. She grabbed his clothes and stared at al the blood on him, "maybe we should wash it off a little just to be safe," she suggested.
-
Lev glanced over towards Kaori as she had helped to stabilize him. However he hesitated at her words and mutely nodded his head in obedience. It wasn't as if he could protest against her assisting him, there was no reason for him to do so. Lev really felt a bit disorientated by everything at the moment, and yet at her offer to wash off a bit of the blood he hesitated yet again. There wasn't anything really in the room that would be of much assistance for cleaning the blood on him away. Considering that everything was quite old and was untouched and left to decay, not a lot of things were intact and Lev certainly didn't want Kaori to be wandering about. It just wouldn't be safe for her. And he also didn't want to uncover things related to his master, not right now at least. So, all he had to do now would be attempting to convey his thoughts properly. Lev glanced over towards her then and shook his head, "..It's too dangerous to walk too far in here." Besides, there were no running water in the mansion and there wasn't particularly much they could use.
-
Kaori sighed and nodded, she took his clothes, hoping it would be enough cover because if anyone seen it they'd look like they just committed a murder. She started with his shirt because it was the easy part and then grabbed the rest of his clothes to allow him to put it on himself. She waited patiently while calling a cab again and even booked them a hotel. It was a tourist hotel so there were plenty of people who spoke English, or as least there would be someone. She looked at Lev again with uncertainty ad moved to his side, "let's get out of here," she offered hi a shoulder. She hadn't said much about everything that happened but there was a lot she wanted to say. It just didn't seem like a good time for any of it.
-
Lev had shrugged into the shirt which she had helped with with, though he had managed to pull on the rest of his clothes without much difficulty, finding that the more he moved, the easier it was for him to react properly to things. However,as she called a cab and booked a hotel, he seemed to have been blankly staring at nothing for a few moments though flinching as she had suddenly spoke up and broke through the silence. He glanced over towards her and looked away, only to gently hold unto her shoulder but not putting all of his weight on her. He truly did want to get out of the abandoned mansion as soon as possible, just remaining there for much longer surely wouldn't be good for him, for his eyes already seemed to be regaining the hollowed and fearful look to them again.
-
Kaori guided him out of the lap and out of the mansion, she didn't even bother to glance back or take a look at it for the reason they had thought about coming here before he ran away. What use were the journals now? After all Lev was a live, and if she was lucky they wouldn't have to deal with it again was that too much to hope? She decided not to think too much on that and said no words to Lev even as the taxi arrived and drove them to the hotel. She took care of paying the driver and grabbed their keys for the hotel which actually looked quite nice. She made her way to the second floor keeping Lev close and the whole time she brought her suitcase with them. It was her only luggage and if she lost that it'd be a pain. She entered the room with their keycards, handing him a card to hold on to and walking inside the nice and cozy room. She immediately sat down on the bed. She had a long and busy day and it still wasn't over, "i brought some clothes you can change into, and you should get a shower too if you think you can handle it alone?" she asked him.
-
Lev followed alongside Kaori numbly as he seemed to be fumbling a bit with how to properly move, but he had eventually gotten used to it again and instead of the awkward shuffling movements, he had begun to move properly. As the taxi had transported them to the hotel, he had mutely stared outside of the window and in truth he felt... empty. Drained. He didn't like this feeling to return, and he certainly never wanted to feel this way again, but was it the only way for him to survive? A life without a heartbeat. He was snapped out of his thoughts as soon as the taxi had stopped infront of the hotel and once again followed after Kaori, staying very close to her as to not be separated from her side. He didn't seem to relax either until they were within the privacy of the room, holding unto the card she had handed him as he warily cast a glance around him and fixated his attention upon Kaori as she spoke up again. He lowered his gaze as he nodded his head and had moved towards the direction of the bathroom within the room and had closed the door behind him, immediately undressing as he then turned on the shower and hesitated for a few seconds before he went underneath the water, beginning to wash away the blood that had gotten on him. He blankly watched as the blood flowed off from him and he closed his eyes as he struggled not to remember what had happened. He was okay now.. it wouldn't happen again. Regardless, his body had trembled slightly as tears began to flow again, residual terror was still clinging to him, and even if he was trying to forget it would be something that was nearly impossible for him.
Eventually, when he had sufficiently cleaned himself from all the blood, he had turned off the shower and had gotten a towel, wrapping it around his naked body as he glanced over towards the mirror briefly, gazing back at the hollowed out expression on his face, his eyes slightly reddened from the tears he had yet up to this point, and the fear deep within the empty black depths of his gaze had chilled him. His skin had regained the pale, gray pallor it once had, clear that he no longer held the life that had once flowed through him, which made him a bit... disheartened. After everything, he simply was now empty again and was only reacting on habit, he remembered the feelings he had felt before, but now it seemed so distant for him to even get a grasp on. It was... frustrating. He closed his eyes tightly as he shook his head, forcing himself to walk out of the bathroom, no longer wanting to even look at himself any longer. His steps were still uneven, a bit awkward but he had managed to make it back within the main room, his blank eyes focusing on Kaori as if expectantly, though only looking for her to give him a change of clothes.
-
Kaori waited while he showered and had way to much time to think. Now that his heart has lost its beat did that mean he didn't have the same feelings for her, did that mean it would never beat again, and if it did would the same thing happen. It was like she had no make a choice, live with the empty Lev whose body no longer sleep and never felt warmth on its own, or try to revive his heart and risk a rerun of this suffering. She cried the whole time he was gone. She was face with a choice that no matter what they did Lev suffered, and who knows maybe they could revive his heart and leave behind this day or maybe it was impossible. She laid down on the couch and looked at the ceiling through glossy vision. What was she to do? She was happy Lev was beside her and alive, but nothing would ever be the same. Repeating that torment was a scary thought, leaving Lev without a heartbeat felt like everything that happened was all a dream. He wanted more than anything to feel alive, and yet she was no longer sure she could keep that promise to him.
When he came out of the bathroom she wiped her tears away quickly and sat up. What she was, she'd seen before, but still her face turned red and that clean chest and beautiful hair. Even those eyes. Those empty eyes were still his eyes, even if fate was cruel to them, at least she was able to be by his side. Realizing she'd been staring, she quickly got his clothes out of the suitcase and tossed it to him. -
Lev blankly stared back at her in silence, however he noticed that she had been crying if only for a few moments which made him feel intense guilt again. Yet, that didn't stop him from noticing immediately her stare upon him which made him glance aside for a few moments, as if flustered a bit by her stare. It was a reaction that was instinctual, though he had quickly looked up as soon as she had tossed some fresh clothes out of the suitcase she had brought with her and caught them. His gaze blankly looked upon the clothes for a few moments, as if he were thinking intently, though after a few moments which seemed concerning since he simply stood there in silence, he had moved over towards Kaori, immediately closing the distance between them and his arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly. His mind had been fixated upon her tears earlier, and he knew his leaving without saying a word to her had made her frantic. He couldn't shake off the guilt that had been assaulting him either, so of course he would want to convey his apologies in full even if he wasn't sure how to exactly express how sorry he was now. He doubted there would have been a better outcome, but for now he wanted to hold Kaori near to him and simply feel comforted by her presence, so that was also why he had hugged her. Normally, he probably would have put his clothes on first and retreated, but his need to comfort her had easily overwhelmed that. Despite everything, Lev was still Lev, and he still remained sensitive to her feelings and actions.
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Lev blankly stared back at her in silence, however he noticed that she had been crying if only for a few moments which made him feel intense guilt again. Yet, that didn't stop him from noticing immediately her stare upon him which made him glance aside for a few moments, as if flustered a bit by her stare. It was a reaction that was instinctual, though he had quickly looked up as soon as she had tossed some fresh clothes out of the suitcase she had brought with her and caught them. His gaze blankly looked upon the clothes for a few moments, as if he were thinking intently, though after a few moments which seemed concerning since he simply stood there in silence, he had moved over towards Kaori, immediately closing the distance between them and his arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly. His mind had been fixated upon her tears earlier, and he knew his leaving without saying a word to her had made her frantic. He couldn't shake off the guilt that had been assaulting him either, so of course he would want to convey his apologies in full even if he wasn't sure how to exactly express how sorry he was now. He doubted there would have been a better outcome, but for now he wanted to hold Kaori near to him and simply feel comforted by her presence, so that was also why he had hugged her. Normally, he probably would have put his clothes on first and retreated, but his need to comfort her had easily overwhelmed that. Despite everything, Lev was still Lev, and he still remained sensitive to her feelings and actions.
-
Kaori watched a little worried there as he seemed to hesitate.. He did remember how to dress properly, right? She twisted, expecting him to go to the bathroom and disappear so she could dry the tears that had so haunted her moments ago, but his actions surprised her once again. Her face turned a vivid red as she felt his arms wrap around her, holding her close to that naked body with only a towel to shield him. It felt nice, really nice. Even though it hadn't been a whole day, it felt like forever that they were apart. She wrapped her arms around that precious body of his that was unbruised but chilled. She pressed her ear to his chest even though she could not hear anything, and she closed her eyes comforted by his scent. How she missed his scent eve if now it had a twisted sense of death still lingering, She could not forget how he had suffered, could not forget how he just abandoned her and despite her exhaustion she could not sleep even in this comfort. Despite everything else ad despite knowing of his guilty conscious, she found the words coming out before she could give it a second thought, "What would you have done if I didn't find you?" she shook at the thought. Both of them would have been all alone. She shook her head, "no," she paused, "don't answer that. I just want to enjoy this a while longer."
-
Lev had closed his eyes as he simply held her, though at her question he had found himself as a loss for words. He wasn't sure what he would have done, and the more he thought about it he probably would have just been numbly sitting within the mansion again until someone else stumbled upon him. He didn't want to return to being alone, and just thinking about it made him begin to feel a bit miserable, and yet he pushed it away for now. He felt relieved that she had quickly dismissed her question and at her request, a faint smile had crossed his face as he held her tightly, "...Okay." He was more than happy to give in to such a thing, he too enjoyed the brief reprieve amongst all the chaos that had been stirred up. A few more moments had passed as he snuggled closer to her, only to say very quietly, "...I love you, Kaori.." He felt like he needed to say that, now more than ever before. He did still feel love for her, nothing would change those deeply rooted emotions.
-
Kaori smiled as she melted into his arms and just released there in peace. It seemed like forever ago that she had felt so much joy. Even though she had so many uncertainties she had forgotten just how important he was to her, "I'm really glad he saved you. I'm really glad you're alive," she whispered and when she heard the three words she had so missed to hear him say. Her heart danced with joy, "I love you, too," she turned her head and kissed him passionately and greedily. She really did need to hear those words, they were such simple words and yet they took away all her fears and worries. Even though they gone through so much it only made their love stronger. She pulled away from the kiss and a yawn escaped her lips. Such sickly timing, "I'm sorry,"she apologized, "I couldn't get any sleep and now that I'm finally with you I'm just too comfortable." She clung tighter as if afraid she'd lose him, "I guess you don't sleep anymore, hmm ?"
-
Lev was relieved that she had relaxed enough in his arms, and he had nodded his head in agreement to her saying that she was glad that Zoe had saved him. However, he had to block off those thoughts automatically as the dark thoughts wee coming back to him again. All he needed to do was focus on Kaori, it would bring him some peace of mind anyways. His expression gentled at her saying she loved him, but he hadn't really anticipated her kissing him. His eyes had widened slightly in surprise, unable to truly react on time to the passion and greed behind it, but regardless his lips had yielded to her own, his eyes closing as he allowed himself to indulge himself a bit. It felt like it had been awhile since they had a moment like this, and honestly the kiss made him feel a bit breathless as she had pulled away, though when he saw her yawn his brow furrowed in concern, now fully taking notice of her tired state. She was clearly exhausted. His hands came up to gently frame her face, thumbs gently caressing the dark circles under her eyes. Because of his actions, she had neglected her health. His expression turned tense only for him to close his eyes as he let out a sigh, wrapping his arms around her again as he then moved so that she was laying down upon him, he then cuddled close to her as he mumbled, "I don't know." He closed his eyes as he huffed, "Get some sleep." He seemed pretty stubborn about that, displeased that she hadn't been sleeping so he was obviously doing his best to make her as comfortable as possible.
-
Kaori blushed as he took care of her, as he touched the dark circles wishing he hadn't seen her in such a pitiful state. She had probably been a bit too comfortable and to hideous due to exhaustion that instead of being to stubborn to sleep she allowed him to lay her down on too of him and cozied up to him. He did sound upset that she hadn't been sleeping but he didn't say much except gave her the one order. To sleep, she wanted nothing more than to fight it and enjoy his warmth longer, but her eyes uncontrollably closed. She nestled up and clung to him like a child would a teddy bear. She wouldn't be able to sleep without him near her for a while if ever again. She decided never to take her eyes off of him so he had to chance to disappear and yet here she was clinging to him. Content in his arms, and fell asleep. She'd lost to his naked body, to that beautiful family, to those arms that so held her tightly.
-
Lev watched as she had fallen asleep, remaining unmoving considering her tight grip on him, preventing him from escaping her grasp. It wasn't as if he wanted to leave her side anyways, he enjoyed her warmth and her touch. As he closed his eyes and simply allowed her to cling to him, sleep unfortunately had remained out of this grasp which filled him with disappointment. However, there was nothing he could truly do about it and there was no use to be worried over something so small. All he needed to do now was enjoy the peacefulness of the moment and content himself in her warmth. Yet, he couldn't help but recall earlier with Zoe's words on his relationship with Kaori. Eventually, there will come a time where he will be alone again, his body will not change and once again he'll be frozen in time. Did he really ever want that again? He looked over towards Kaori's sleeping face and his arms had tightened around her a bit more, he didn't want to let go of her now. His eyes closed again as he let out a sigh, nuzzling close to her as he had went still again, but strangely he did manage to doze off a little, it seemed as if his body had managed to retain a few actions that he had done before.
-
Kaori laid there with him dreamlessky. A peaceful deep sleep. She awoke after several hours expecting him to be awake, but to find that he had fixed off gave her a little hope. She smiled at him and clung to him still. He had no idea how happy she was that he was alive and no longer suffering. Sure, he was traumatized, sure he was adapting to this new lifestyle, but he didn't have to constantly stress over the slightest injury. As she looked his body over, her face blushed as she remembered he still hadn't put his clothes on. She smiled and ran her hands along each scar and stitch. It was nice, it felt nice to look at his body and not see the black decay. She kissed that chest a few times taking with her the sweet memory. She couldn't cleanse him off the horror but she'd already long decided to make up for it with beautiful memories. This was a new start.
-
Lev had barely moved when she had begun to wake up, having dozed off enough to where he almoat was numb to his surroundings. However, he had stirred slightly when she had ran her fingers across the neat stitches and scars that covered his torso. A soft sound left his lips as her lips had gently placed kisses along his chest, sufficiently waking him fully from his brief dozing as his eyes had opened only to look towards Kaori, his face slightly reddened in a slight blush. He was a bit startled, but he didn't mind the contact as it did sufficiently distract him from thinking about anything else. Besides, any contact he had with Kaori he did find pleasant and craved them more than he had before. However, he seemed a bit flustered as he looked away from her, his expression being rather cute and embarrassed by his flustered state.