Our Happy Little [P]antheon (and other things that suck)

Do you know what sucks the most about being young forever?

Being young forever is boring as sh*t. Especially when the people that used to worship you are long dead. It was sad, at the beginning, to see them go, but now I’m just angry. I mean, you gave us life. That was great. Really. At the start, it was a ton of fun. I had guys praying to me daily. Girls, too, but the guys… They were a special kind of special. And I had athletic competitions held in my honor, where shirts were apparently optional…? Although, don’t get me wrong. I am not questioning the shirt thing. That was… I would say a gift from the gods, but that was entirely a mortal idea, and, boy, was it lovely.

At least now there’s good alcohol. I mean, we had wine before. That was good. But the wine kinda tasted like tar. That was not good. But bless to whichever ones of my stupid cousins or uncles or cousin-uncles or cousin-uncle-grandfathers invented cultural mixing, because… Well, the Barbados may have invented rum, but the alcoholics in England perfected it. And, sure, that sounds bad, but, again. Eternal life. And even the gods can get a little tipsy. It just takes more work.

Although, speaking of more work… Alcohol is good. Carding? Carding is very, very bad. Carding is a bad thing. Eternal damnation onto the man who came up with carding. The first time it happened I was flattered. It’s not every day a twelve thousand, seven hundred, twenty three year old girl gets told she looks eighteen. But then it kept happening, and now it’s irritating.

Finally- well, okay, not finally, because 12,723 years gives a girl quite a while to come up with her complaints- but close to finally, I would just like to acknowledge that somehow there’s this myth that once a pantheon is created, it’s concrete. No. NO, no no no. I can tell you that that is a lie. Twelve thousand years is a long time, and do you know what’s fun? F*cking. And do you know what happens as a result of f*cking? Espeically from the older gods who still don’t believe birth control is a real thing? Babies. Now, granted, the babies don’t have any domain or anything, because all the cool powers are taken. But they’re still annoying as h*ll. And, as the goddess of fertility- and also looking like an eternal eighteen year old- apparently you’re the go-to babysitter. That is all.

Well, not all. But I have all of eternity to complain.

Do you know what sucks the most about being young forever?

Life was never meant to last forever. That was the beauty about it. Life was supposed to be fleeting, to enjoy while you could. Someone- and not even Tala knows who- someone up there, the god of gods, spoiled that. There is no beauty in a flower if the flower is to live forever. There is no beauty in a family if the baby will stay young forever. There is no beauty in being young if you never get to experience growing old.

Granted, there are perks to having no deadline, no wall looming ahead of me, no ultimate expiration date that I have to worry about. The knowledge the mortals keep accumulating, and the ever more impressive tales they tell to justify the things that we do, is fascinating. Colleges and universities alone could redeem this age for me, if they returned back to their original roots and got rid of their profit concerns and just taught. The smell of the books, the smell of the chalk, the smell of pencils… it’s all new and fantastical and fascinating.

But then, you can only stay so long at one college before people start to notice. The mortals may be dull, but they’re not stupid. They notice if you’re there for too long and you look exactly the same. I made that mistake. They notice if you’re brand new and you already have more knowledge than the professors. I made that mistake too. They notice if you walk into the Greek Mythology class and comment that Zeus is a d*ck. Yeah, I did that. Not my brightest move. The best policy, I found, was to take a few classes, get contact with the professor, learn as much as possible, and move on. Just like winter. Come in, do your thing, and then melt away into the background again.

Do you know what sucks the most about being young forever?

It’s lonely as h*ll.

*squee*

Do you know what is the best part about being old forever?

Every day I am surrounded by children. Some our children of mine, some our children of my children. Some could be gutter rats for all I know, and for all I care. The children bring me joy and they bring me youth and they bring me energy. And I get to watch them grow. There’s not a whole lot that one does once their civilization has fallen. But me, I get to be Grandma Tala to the children, and that is all I ever wanted. I was never the crazy one- I was the goddess of order, of law. Able was the one who brought the fun into my life, the crazy old man he was.

But now my daughter controls order, and my grandson controls law. My neice controls the deer and mi hija- she prefers to be called that due to her roots in Mexican mythology, too- she controls the clouds. And the children control the seasons, and the babies barely control themselves. And most of them leave, and spend their time in the mortal realm, and for that I can’t blame them. After all, they are young, and they have an eternity of life ahead of them.

I stay in Montu, though, sitting in the rocking chiar Able made me when he married me, and I knit. I knit each day, and each day turns to a year, and the yarn is always the same, and the click of my needles are the seconds that turn the lvies of the mortals. And I watch my children, for they are all my children. The gods, the goddesses, their demigod mistakes and their demigod champions, and even the mortals and the orphans. Grandma to all.

And that’s all an old lady ever really wants.

“I hope you’re ready for all your frolicking and freedom to end, sh*tface.” Fei growled from her spot in the middle of the long line of thrones in the dead center of the Montu Valley, her hands positioned over the large map in front of her, fingers dancing ever so slightly, causing the tones to shift from brown to green, fields of yellow to shift to fields of silver as the dandelions flowered, fields of green turning to a rainbow of color as the latest of the spring crops flowered.

When she had finally finished treating the west of the map to a gorgeous day of flowers and allergies, she rested her hands against the border and then looked away, instead narrowing a burning green gaze at Rae. “Mock me all you want, but you know that you’re about to suffer for a whole three months. Four, probably, considering that Harv is supposed to take over after you. And you know she’s going to be too busy sleazing around to actually remember to come back.” She huffed, though she grinned slightly when she saw her cousin? Maybe? Nobdoy really knew with the family relations.

“Happy Solstice, by the way.” She added with a little huff before raising her arms again and hovering over the board, swearing when she saw that her work was already being undone as the sun started to set, at least over the little map. “Oh, come on…” she grumbled before looking at him, not raelly caring what he thought, but just wanting someone to validate her frustration. “I made that day so perfect.”

“Right, yeah. See you next year. See you next year. Oh. Um…” Hei said with a small smile and a wave of his hand, nodding at all of the students he’d TAed for that quarter, stumbling when one girl came up and kissed him, leaving with a massive blush on her cheeks and a cheer from her group of friends. “Uh…” he added, out of it for the rest of the minute it took for his entire class to clear out.

When they did, he turned around and lifted the cardboard box onto his desk again, slipping all his books and the single photo he kept on his desk inside, knowing that, although Amerson had been a great fit- a small college with a relatively intelligent but kind of clueless student body- it was time for him to leave. He’d already been there for three years, and that was pushing it. A boy could only look twenty-two for so long before it created suspicion. And so he was leaving. Maybe he’d be a student again, maybe he’d try to pass off as a professor, maybe he’d get another doctorate. He didn’t know what the long term plan was.

But, for the moment, the plan involved avoiding Montu as much as possible, even missing the Solstice, if he could.

ooc: I was thinking it's the traditional god and god had god who got with god kinda thing. like, maybe. but in a super distant sort of way. like, in a way where it really wouldn't be weird if they got together. so maybe not. maybe they just all think of each other as cousin, because they're kind one big immortal family. Except for Hei and Fei, they actually are related. (Pronounced Hey and Fay, by the way (ha))

“Hey, sh*tface. Get your feet off the map. You’re going to screw something up. As if you don’t do that enough already.” Fei grumbled, glaring at him for a long second before rolling her eyes, grabbing a stick from the table of props, used to move some of the little symbols around the board, and giving his feet a rough poke before smirking at him. “Feet stay off my board. Once midnight hits and you take over, it can be your board, and you can trash it all you want. But, for now, it’s still mine.” She announced, giving his feet another little shove when she saw him moving them once again.

After what had to be his fourth insistence that she relax, she rolled her eyes and glared at him, though she rested back against the table and smirked. “And how do you suggest I have fun, Rae? By f*cking you? Because I’ve ignored you for 12,723 years. I think I’ll be able to ignore you for another few days.” She grumbled, though she had a massive smirk across her face, and she just crossed her arms over her chest. “And I’m not a perfectionist. I just know the value of hard work. That’s why I’m the prettiest season.” She added at the end with a smirk.

“And it’s not fall yet, babe.” She finished a moment later. “You’ve still got your entire cycle to live through before Harv takes over. Don’t get ahead of yourself here. It will feel like an eternity. What are you going to DO?” she gasped playfully at the ned. “You’re going ot be all cooped up here at Montu… With no mortal women? For a whole SEASON? I bet you’re going to wither up.” She finished with a smirk.

It took Hei less than a second to identify her voice, and then another fraction of a second to realize that, yes, he had made the right decision in deciding to quit his job. She was here, the place was ruined. He ignored her for a long second, knowing it would piss her off- it always did- before finally turning around, though it was only when she called his name out. “Shh!” he hissed quickly, looking around for a long second before narrowing his pale blue eyes at her. “Gods, Harv. It’s Heydin here. Please. At least respect that…” he grumbled before taking the globe from her hands and putting it back in the bod.

“And, no. I’m going back to my office.” He added a second later, his voice more of a mumble than anything else. “I have important stuff to do. Pack up and all that, finish grading these finals. I’ll get to the Solstice eventually. Maybe. Maybe work will keep me too long. And, please.” He added at the end, looking back up at her with a little blush across his face. “Stop pretending like you want me there. I know you’re just trying to mess with me. It’s been almost 13,000 years, Harv, I know what you’re doing.”

Fei knew that Rae knew exactly what he was doing, and she also knew that he knew that she knew. Which was a little confusing, because it made it super unclear what he wanted, but at the same time… It was just Rae. He was the doltz, surfer bum of a god if there ever was one. The fact that he was trying to play mind games with her was laughable. “Okay, I like s*x. Don’t know why I’m telling you that, but it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it.” She admitted, giving a little huff when the sun on the board set entirely before turning and looking at him, raising an eyebrow after a second.

“And also… Wait. What rumors are going around about me?” she asked after a second, glaring at him, relieved that he had given her the little out of responding quite yet, needing a little more time to process, though she wasn’t about to let him know that. But, also… “Who said what? What are people saying I did? Because, I’ll have you know that’s none of their business. Whatever – and whoever- I do in the mortal world is my own problem.” She added with a little huff. “Tell me.” She added with a growl in her voice a moment later, eyes once more burning green as she glared at him. "I cannot believe that people still care after thirteen thousand years..."

“You love those warm weather idiots,” Hei grumbled, rolling his eyes when he heard her correction, though he smirked slightly all the same, pleased that he had said it before she had, even though he knew it really just showed how much time he spent with his age-mates, if you could even call them that. He looked over at her for just a second to see the large smile of hers and the shining eyes and he just shook his head, picking up his box instead. “Sorry, can’t. I’m just… just swamped.” He announced before lifting the box.

However, said box was quickly returned to the table when he heard her comment and he just gave a huff, resting his hands on the edges and then shaking his head. “Number one- you know I hate champagne. The bubbles make my nose hurt. I like wine.” He announced, knowing it did nothing to help his cause, though he continued all the same, suspecting that she wasn’t even listening anyway. “Number two- I don’t want to go to the Solstice. It’s just going to be a bunch of sleazy half-smashed pickup lines from Rae, and the babies. And you know how I am around kids>” he added before picking up his box again and making a face.

“And, number three?” he finished before shaking his head slightly and turning to her, crooking up an eyebrow in what may, finally, have been a bit of surprise and maybe even a hint of being impressed. “How did you even get in here? All the doors have those card locks on them. I can’t even get in without my pass.”

“Why is everything always about the summer with you? God. Even I have different interests…” Fei grumbled, though she listened to his whole little speech before letting a cool spring breeze wash over the same area on the map a second alter and then turning to him, raising an eyebrow before chuckling. “You never give a second to think about the other seasons. What about enjoying the last few days of summer with me? When the birds are perfectly happy with the cool wind in their feathers, and the flowers are drifting perfectly pretty in the fields? When the days have leisure and happiness to them, but also a sense of purpose, as the lazy summer isn’t quite here yet?” she challenged back, leaning towards him playfully before smirking and just shoving his feet off of her table once more.

“And if they were rumors about me, doll, then they were probably wrong. Although… You wish you could see me in bed. I am the definition of hot. A goddess of fertility can do things to you, Rae. Things you’ve NEVER thought possible.” She added, purr in her voice before leaning back again, though not before she let her hadn run over the toned muscle in his arm, a little smirk across her face, though there was a sense of delight in her eyes, too, at the beauty that was the last few days of her precious springtime, the last few days of flowers and greenness and growth before it was all swealtered in the sun.

You’d think that, after thirteen thousand years, you’d learn. You would think that. But, apparently, Hei did not. Because even though he felt the change in the room, felt the slight chill that came when she got all pouty, he looked over. And then he saw her eyes and he knew he’d lost. Which was stupid, because he wasn’t really losing anything, he was just changing his mind about how he’d spend the afternoon, but still. He wasn’t doing what he wasn’t to do, and so he wasn’t happy. Although at least he got to spend a little bit of time with her. That was nice, though he was loathe to admit it.

“Fine. Fine, I’ll go.” He murmured, putting the box back on the desk and pulling his hands away from it in a show of surrender before looking at her and giving a little snort. “Although I am DEFINTELY taking you up on that wine offer. There’s this place in Northern Italy… Mm. I bought part of the grove, and now I get a bottle of wine once a month, and it is to die for.” He murmured before grabbing his keys and raising an eyebrow at her.

“Well? I thought you’d jump at this opportunity, to see what my apartment looks like? That’s where the wine is…” he explained, giving his keys a little rattle and then walking towards the door, locking it from the inside and then motioning for her to join him. “And don’t make fun of the name. It helps me blend in, Harv,” he added with a grumble at the end. “As if you’ve never taken one up.”

“Nobody wants one of your red sunsets, Rae. They just look like blood. People want soft colors. Pastels. And that’s what I give them. Even though the colors make me want to vomit.” She grumbled at the end with a little grimace before looking back at him and snapping, pointing her fingers up to her eyes teasingly and then shaking her head. “Come on, Rae. Here you are, talking about working together, and your eyes are still on my *ss…” she whined, holding his look for one more second before rolling her eyes and snorting.

“And I very well can tease you and leave you, mister.” She added with a teasing smirk a second later. “As a matter of fact, I just did.” She continued, sticking her tongue out at him playfully before rolling her eyes and sitting back on the table, careful not to jostle any of the actually important parts of the map, as that was the thing that controlled their entire lives, the original present given to Grandma Tala.

“And, sorry. Final thing. WHY are you bothering me when you know that Harv will show up any second with a depressed looking twin bother of mine in tow? Because the second she gets here, she’ll be free, and I’m going to have a brother to take care of… And she’d definitely get in the pants of a guy that looks like you.” She added, opening her eyes and then smiling at him. “So… I guess you’re just going to have to keep dreaming on it, babe. I’m not f*cking you this year. Never have, never will.”

“I’m not a sucker. It’s just mean of you to use them. It’s not my fault that I hate people crying.” He grumbled under his breath, getting a little defensive up until he saw her stand by the car. “Oh, no, Harvie. We’re walking. It’s just a short distance..>” he murmured, and though he was teasing her about it, that was another one of his favorite parts about this campus that he was so loathe to leave. Everyone was close, but there was just enough space that everyone could also be alone. You had friends, and you had acquaintances, and you had plenty of me-time. Just as he liked. Although, apparently I’m not getting any of that today.., he thought, though he knew he was actually kind of glad that Harv came and got him, because otherwise he never would have gone.

“Well? This is it…” he murmured, walking up to a small blue cottage on the path, a little whiles away from any other dwelling, though they were still visible in the distance. He unlocked the door and then grinned, pushing it open for her and then giving a playfully bow. “Well? Queen of Autumn and all things Fancy should go first, don’t you think?” he asked softly, really just dying to see her reaction when she saw his home, with the small green plants in every corner, the light blue walls that matched his eyes and his snow, the single bedroom that he liked quite a lot, because it had a plug by the bed so he could stay on his computer forever.

“And how did you find me, again? I thought I was nice and hidden, here…” he murmured as he moved towards the wine cabinet, grabbing the wooden box gently before turning around, two glasses in one hand and the wine in the other, quickly pouring into teardrop-shaped glasses before looking at her again. “And I didn’t even put my name down. Heidin Johnson.” He grumbled, a little embarrassed by the last name, but what could you do? He needed something common, and that was it.

“This is, what, the fourth time in this little conversation you’ve told me you think I’m beautiful?” she asked with a little smirk, raising an eyebrow at him and leaning back slightly, letting her loose braid run over her shoulder, the fishtailed strands of chocolate-and-honey hair loose and messy, woven in with a few little flowers here and there, almost as if she had forgotten about them. “If I dind’t know better, I would think that you had a crush on me. But that’s not right, right? After all… I think we’re a ltitle old for crushes…” she added teasingly, knowing that he definitely did not think of her like that. This was Rae she was talking about- god of sun and heat and parties and pleasure. He wasn’t really one to stick around, or get attached.

“It wasn’t just that touch, darling. I’ve been teasing you for the past thirteen thousand years.” She added after a second with a little roll of her eyes when she heard his entire lecture, though she just smirked at him and his response, though, by the time he’d finished with his description of the pursuit, she was left with the same fluttering feeling in her gut and dryness in her mouth that she’d felt around him for what was already close to an eternity. Her cheeks stained a gentle pink, just like the flowers she worked so hard to grow, though she shook her head and snorted at him. I mean, if I wasn’t attracted to him, at least in a little bit, where would be the fun? she thought, dismissing it just as she always did because, again, it was only Rae.

“Oh, please. Go f*ck yourself.” She grumbled, about to dismiss him again before she remembered something, and she just raised an eyebrow down at him, moving a little closer to him, a smirk across her face. “Just, going back to an earlier point, sexy…” she murmured, voice holding a hint of a purr, though she really was curious, and was trying to think of the best way to weasel the information out of him. “Why am I excited for autumn again? What’s different about this autumn than every other one of Harv’s stupid playtimes?” she challenged with a smirk, though it faltered slightly when she realized her cheeks were still pink.

“You actually like it?” Hei asked with a pleased grin, knowing that her praise meant literally nothing in the long run but, considering they were really in it for the long run, what with another hundred thousand or so years ahead of them… Well, it didn’t hurt. He smiled and looked around, narrowing his eyes at her when he saw her staining his plants, though he grinned, just slightly, as he sipped at the wine, not about to admit that he actually quite liked the color.

“Hey. Careful with those. You know I can’t change them back.” He grumbled after a second, though he watched as his little bush turned from a lively green to a glorious gold, and he looked at her with a hint of pleasure in his eyes. “They’d just die if I touched them. The fact that they even stayed alive for this long is really only because of the gardening gloves.” He murmured, eyes flickering over to his again before he took another long sip of the wine, giving a happy murmur at the gentle earthy taste hidden there.

He looked up just in time to see her reach out and he flinched slightly, though he stayed absolutely still as she touched him, holding his breath, unsure of exactly what to do. “You know, that’s a little creepy, you just being able to find me.” He muttered under his breath as he leaned into her hand for just a second before pulling away and moving towards the stove, turning it on quickly and then smiling at her. “I know. I picked the color myself.” He announced with a pleased grin. “It reminds me of the snow.” He added before grabbing a box of pasta from the pantry and then looking at her with a little pout.

“Well? You can lower yourself to mortal food one more time, can’t you, my Queen?” he asked, following her into the other room for just a second before smiling and giving the box a shake. “At least allow me one more box of mac and cheese before you drag me kicking and screaming to the Solstice.” He added, leaning against the doorway of his living space, just watching her with a half-affectionate, half-frustrated smile.