I'm well acquainted with demons that live in my head. (Open)

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    While many had gone to Mae and Jaq to comfort them, Nebby had been nowhere to be seen.


    The weight on her chest was destroying her. All she could think of was what she had done, what that demon had done, and the fact that she did nothing, nothing, to free him since. Partially, she was afraid of what she would find. Maybe a charred corpse, maybe another demon would crawl out by mistake, or maybe...maybe the demons would do something terrible to Cade before coming back.


    But even if she did do something, she knew the clan would scorn her. They already thought of her powers as a terrible thing to do, and the portal incident had only sealed the deal. RiverClan would never let her practice magic again. "But what am I supposed to do then..?" Magic was all she knew how to do, the only way she could do anything as her position as Riverguard. They were supposed to fight, and yet she was always too small to fight. "Why did Ivylee promote me if I can't fight!"


    She had stayed, huddling in her nest and resting on top of her cursed book. They hadn't taken it away. Yet.


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    "Nebby?" Mae asked softly as the canine poked her head into her child's den, golden eyes sparkling with curiosity. She hadn't seen her out and about much lately and that worried her to no end. She didn't want Nebula to hate herself for what she had done, after all, she hadn't known that the demon's were going to snatch her father. Although, when Mae saw the book, she wanted to grab it and light it on fire, but she refrained from doing so. Instead, she laid down on her stomach and watched her child intently, waiting for her to offer Mae some form of acknowledgement so that she knew her daughter didn't hate her.
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    info — updated 01/04

    Nebula's yellow eyes looked back up at her mother, flinching slightly away from her and looking back at the ground. She didn't answer her mother's call for her, but she couldn't ignore her sitting near forever. Her eyes flickered back towards the book, her tail snaking along it's spine in contemplation. If she decided to continue this path, she had to keep it safe from everyone. Especially her family.


    "..Mommy?" She finally spoke up, hesitantly. "Why..Why did Ivylee make me a Riverguard?"


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    Sylmae felt her heart ache at the question that her daughter asked her and her ears pinned back to her head as she moved closer to her and aimed to gently nuzzle her head. "Ivylee made you a riverguard because you're strong, you can keep your clan safe. She saw the same potential in you that the rest of us see every day. The more your power grows, the more you grow, the stronger you become. You look after your clanmates, like a riverguard should." Mae said softly and offered her a gentle smile. Mae wasn't only speaking from her heart for her daughter but from what she saw as a deputy. Her words were honest. Even she would have promoted her to Riverguard.
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    info — updated 01/04

    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0;width:450px;text-align:justify;font-size:11px;line-height:1.5]Perhaps it wasn't until she had her own children that she recognized the unbreakable bond between mother and child. Kali knew it ran deep, but not so immeasurably deep, not so unthinkably wide and deep and full. Now at least she could recognize the bond between the two, untorn by time as well as distance. She watches with a curiosity that rivals her usual child-like tilts of her head.


    "Do not let your mistakes define you, Nebulacub," the Head Riverguard speaks in a low, warm murmur, her expression sympathetic as well as faintly pointed. Kali could recall when the cloaked child had summoned the massive boar demon, a mistake at best, and now here she was grieving because she'd sent her father away to a ruthless dimension. Grief was called for in situations such as these, and Kali understood, but to let it take one's self over.. she had seen it all too often. She did not want the same fate to be too inviting for the child.


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    "But..but how?" Nebby's ears pinned back further against her galaxy coat, shaking a bit. "I-I can't fight, or hunt, and...and my magic only causes disasters. How am I supposed to protect RiverClan if I can't even get out of the camp? I'm dead weight until I'm older, and that...that isn't going to be for a while."


    She looked up at Kali, her ers flattening further while she pulled her cloak back up over her eyes. "But actions define you, right? Everyone's gonna look at me like I'm a freak..like Duncan and Fisher."


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    Sylmae shook her head a little bit and she lowered her muzzle, aiming to run a soothing tongue over the top of her child's head as she sighed softly. "You can still do things from inside. Like learn how to fight and hunt, better yourself. Turn your weaknesses, or in this case, the things you don't know, into strengths. You are still growing, love. You have time to grow and learn and you will. Why don't we start training you simple hunting moves? We'll save battle moves for when you're of age." Mae said lightly, hoping that her offer would be encouraging enough to get the little girl to not feel so bad about herself. She hated seeing her daughter like this. At the mention of Duncan and Fish, Mae bristled. "They should have never said those things to you. They are wrong and wrong for what they said." Mae grumbled softly, her obvious dislike for Duncan shining through. No one said that to kids, ever!
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    info — updated 01/04

    Nebula looked back up at her mother, wincing a bit when she licked her face. "Eww.." She tried to shake off her mother's lick while she was speaking. "We...can we? Please? I..I wanna be useful, and I can't when I'm...st-stuck like this."


    OOC: Muse why


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    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0;width:450px;text-align:justify;font-size:11px;line-height:1.5]Kali nodded with a softness that took gentle hold of her cranium. "People will talk, no matter what's right and wrong," she murmurs. As much as she was displeased with Fish and Duncan, they did have a point, but the way they had gone about it was brash at best. Besides, the need to bring it up now was not at all dire, so she looks elsewhere in her mind. "You cannot control others, Neb. You can control yourself, how you respond and what you do when others will put you down." This had been the hardest lesson Kali had had to learn as a child. It had taken her months to even realize the depth of it, and she hoped it could apply to Nebulacub better. As torturous as her childhood had been, she'd never cast her father away into a portal.


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    [align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0;width:410px;line-height:120%;text-align:justify;font-size:10px;font-family:verdana;]"Kid, you do know that magic is a fickle thing at best right?" Anima knew of magic, she was based off upon at this point. The aspects of chaos lent themselves to magic, it broke the laws and created things that should not exist. So, yes, Anima was familiar with at least one brand of magic. "Magic, like people, is governed by chaos. Yeah, you can do an unbelievable amount of damage."


    She didn't agree with promoting kids to combat positions because that was the thing. They were children, and children had much to learn. Anima had fought when she was a child, but she never in a high position that demanded she do it. "Magic, in the terms that I know it, responds well to those who seek it. Not every spell will go right, not every incantation works. But, if you keep trying it, it will eventually bow to you."


    She tilts her head to the side slightly, wondering whether she has anything to add. "I almost killed my sister by freezing her solid. So yeah, I get what it's like to mess up. I was a lot older than you too, which means that I was responsible for my actions. You're still a kid - you're going to make mistakes. Just move on and get better."
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    ◂ INFO | 31/12/2016

    [fancypost bordercolor=transparent; width: 400px][justify][size=8] "You're far from a freak, kid. You get stronger, that's what you do. You don't let a mistake define you, even if someone calls you out on it."


    Fish made his way into the den, expecting looks of disapproval, thick paws silent on the ground. They could gawk at him if they wanted, he was a good looking guy, after all, but he wasn't here for idle conversation. He was here for a point, be it a deviation of his normal, brash behavior, it was still a point he figured he'd needed to make, or rather state. The accusation of him being a freak bounced off the jaguar's marbled ears with a flick. Rude. But not untrue.


    "I'm real proud of you for trying to bring Cade back, Nebulacub. Just because things didn't work out, you fixed what you did. I know things look bleak, but you're messing with seriously dangerous stuff. It's bound to go haywire sometime. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself."


    Was it an apology? No. But he figured sugar coating things for kids only led to a terrible spiral of decay and entitlement later in life. She wanted to take on an adult power? He'd treat her like just that. The male sat abruptly, knowing well if he stood he'd just walk out with the first hateful glance thrown his direction. Better to ground himself.



    updated 12/21