where is my mind - joiner

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  • [fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;420px;line-height:130%;]Is it truly a possibility for one to grow homesick for a place they had never been, a home never quite given the name in full but enough to make it feel as such?


    To many an answer to such an inquiry might come easy though others might be split, given to a more negative or positive vibe though it is there, nibbling at the edge of thought, seeking attention until it holds a proper answer to sate it. For one such as them it seemed impractical to linger, to allow such an act as simple distraction on part of a question easily given an end in a few words, but it lingered still. It did not matter what they tried to put it to rest something drew it back, that insatiable desire to find a true answer for it, not the half-truths and lies they found hard to swallow they bestowed upon it. But each time silence roared within their ears, silence was caught in their throat and choked any words they might conjure to give an answer which seemed fitting for none exactly were. Nothing might give way to a proper answer which fit in such a small space, made for only one they could not think of, there upon the edge of thought, teasing as it lingered out of reach.


    If posed to them even a week ago the question might have been easier to swallow, given a few seconds before it was pushed aside, yet it festered now as their mind conjured it again, willing to break them down. Impractical and rather idiotic – that is all it was, a silly little question their mind should not have latched onto so readily with a care to give an answer, yet it was insatiable, their need to answer it once and for all. With it came others, however, drawn forth in its way to tug upon the edge of thought and try to draw them further down into the rabbit hole they had come to dig for themself, a wonder they were tantalized by. Might it have been so easy to push it all aside, to ignore what pushed for attention and focus upon what was at hand, if only such a possibility was presented to them.


    But what was that, what was present before them, what menial task had they set to give their mind some respite from the on slaughter of questions which battered and sought attention? Exploration was the only title that might truly be suited to it and such is what they proved to do, the slow tread which set their heavy frame at a trudging step, nothing about them proving familiar but it was better this way. Strange to them was something which meant a chance of something new, a second chance they longed for and yet never permitted themself to seek out, some part of their mind terrified, pushing that fear forward when they dared to venture. It was simply easier to fall into routine and permit nothing new to drag them away from the path they had set themself but it also held nothing in distract, discovery they longed for, leading only to boredom, the solitude slowly eating away at them. For some reason they found the days grew harder the more time they spent within their own company, permitting only the ragged loop of questions to break the silence.


    It had taken much too long for them to push to such a point, to even permit such exploration as this though it helped in some way though the loop was there, gentle murmurs that split their thoughts and made their head ring, faint yet enough to pain them, lips drawing back, the shape of a frown subtle but present. Strange was this whole place, largely given moisture to leave the earth they tread wet though it felt somewhat solid beneath the initial layer of mud, easily baring the weight of the large hybrid. Very little of the land they had traversed had been as such, dappled in a mass of light which split the heavy shadow the bowed trees shed, yet it held a beauty its own, the soft coo which rose speaking of their amazement. Soft and light was the sound though it rang through the wide space before them, their large ears flicking and swivelling about as they heard it bounce back to them, a sound seemingly mimicking laughter raising, delighted as it once more returned to them. Yet it was not so easy to ignore the taunt muscle, the stretch of skin which drew tight over back and sides as the muscle beneath tensed, the flex of paws as they were buried into the muddy concoction of water and earth. Though their features were softened now the eyes gleamed beneath the hood, the dark depths hinting at the fear which curled about their mind, breaking that insufferable loop if only for a minute or so.
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    secondary character | opinions ic | replies will be slow


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    General
    [size=4pt]•[/size] DCLXCI | prefers Inanis | apart of the Break family
    [size=4pt]•[/size] agender | aromantic asexual | uninterested
    [size=4pt]•[/size] December eleventh | no real age | physically seems to be a child
    [size=4pt]•[/size] member of Riverclan


    Appearance
    [size=4pt]•[/size] hybrid | health: 83%
    [size=4pt]•[/size] lion/oriental felinehybrid with some aspects of hunting dogs in there
    [size=4pt]•[/size] anatomy and general body structure is from the lion, very heavy and broad though seems to have no real weight
    [size=4pt]•[/size] proportions and leg structure are from larger hunting dogs, though the paws seem to be much more flexible then one might expect, the toes slightly elongated
    [size=4pt]•[/size] head shape is a mix of oriental and canine, a sloping, lengthy muzzle filled with largely pointed teeth as they are made to tear and swallow rather then chew, the ears large and translucent at the tips, mimicking a orientals
    [size=4pt]•[/size] fur is largely short over the body yet forms a heavy, thick mane about the neck, trailing over the spine and leaving the tail heavily fluffy as well. primarily black though grey lightens the underside and pale 'freckles' are present over much of the black
    [size=4pt]•[/size] eyes are based around an orientals, slanting inward and proving squinted, almost entirely black beyond a slight lightened area which seems to mimic the iris
    accesories: heavily travel damaged hooded cloak, worn at all times with hood drawn over the head
    injuries: none as of yet


    Nature
    [size=4pt]•[/size] very mellow in overall temprement it seems hard to get them to express any sort of emotion though largely suseptible to more negative ones, usually picking it up from those around them
    [size=4pt]•[/size] knowledgeable yet seeks to learn more when possible, proves overly curious and tends to experiment when it seeks an answer to something not quite straight forward, though often leads to destruction and them becoming extremely down trodden
    [size=4pt]•[/size] has no real idea what personal space is and will happily get into someone's face though hates when it is the other way, usually acting extremely aggressive, proving nothin more than a feral beast much of the time, protective of those it forms a bond with
    [size=4pt]•[/size] acts largely on the bounds of logic, seems unable to comprehend things outside of reality and unable to really pick up on ques or things hidden in what ones says, usually things will need to be explained in clear detail or there is little chance of them understanding


    Speech
    [size=4pt]•[/size] unable to form coherent words and seemingly unable to actually learn, or otherwise unwilling, they use vocalization to communicate though seems able to understand many languages, just uncaring of using them
    — many of their vocalizations are clicks of the tongue, chirps, tweets, growls, purring, whistles, hum and more
    — along with this they can mimic other sounds, similar to a lyre bird, but they must have heard it before hand
    — while unable to at the moment seems to have the ability to mimic basic words, sounds seem to be hinting at this though such is not yet developed enough to make possible and communication through telepathy only shows the same as they try to mimic the words one speaks to them through such


    Interaction
    [size=4pt]•[/size] moderate physically | hard mentally
    [size=4pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or nonviolent actions
    — not welcoming of unprompted touch from strangers
    [size=4pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | will fight to the death if necessary | unlikely to show mercy

  • [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-style: italics; font-size: 32pt; margin-top: 20px; letter-spacing: 0px; text-align: center; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 10px snow;]Sylmae W.D.H[/fancypost]

    [size=9pt][glow=black,2,300]I Don't Wanna Leave Because You Are Ecstasy[/glow][/size]


    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 500px; color: white; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 8pt;][hr][justify]-screeching- I have no muse so bump for you until I gather muse hatty!]


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    [size=5pt]TEMPLATE ©BOKEH[/size]

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    Emotions were an enigma to him, much like everything else accustomed to the mortal realm. Feelings themselves were warped, mysterious creations of the mind which no one, to his knowledge, had ever really solved. There had to be a key to understanding what emotions meant. Anger to frustration, happiness and excitement, sadness toward death. There was always a reason behind feeling something, but that didn't mean that the reason was clear. Nothing is quite as simple as experiencing pain when accidentally stepping on a thorn. Smiles can be fake, tears can be joyous, and someone may long for a place which they have never been. Feelings themselves are strange, and understanding them requires a knowledge that some of the most insightful lack. Homesickness for a place which eyes have never graced, a heart has never known, wouldn't be the strangest occurrence.


    When home flashes through his mind, it is not of a physical place. Death may be a name uttered through sorrow or hushed, frightened tones, but to him it is the only home he has known. The cold embrace felt by those succumbing to the Grim Reaper is only sometimes regarded as a comfort, and yet, when he imagines the darkness accompanied by everlasting rest, he is lulled into a sense of ease. While exploration has been prompted by the however masked curiosity within him, it does not mean that he has longed for anything else. However, for someone different than him, with little basis of life beforehand, there might be a pull toward a place that they don't know, and that isn't unheard of. The cold, while perhaps born into the icy chill of winter, may hope for warmth, and looking for a golden solace of home amidst a cold region of loyalty of birth is little different. It was just that he was never obligated to wish for anything different in his life, up until curiousness presented itself a sliver of oppurtunity.


    Such a willingness to extent out into a new realm of existance lead him to that very spot. Immersing himself into the culture of those unfamiliar, he has trekked from Clan to Clan in search of knowledge to feed his hungry soul. The adventure, which he'd lamely laminated his actions, showed him new sides of the living, but he still didn't long to be like them. He was content with himself, despite how interested he truly was. While not plagued by thoughts to break, shatter beneath his willingness, he had taken on an extent of obligation weighed upon him by his fickle allegiance, thus condemning him to stroll lonesome amongst the trees of the territory, carefully avoiding any protruding roots. He didn't mind patrolling, which is what they dubbed their long walks amongst nature; the sights were well scene, and he admired the wintertime. The faintly yellow light which the land basked in wasn't quite warm enough to cease the chill in the air, but his breath did not condense when he breathed, and he seemed rather unbothered.


    Footsteps, muffled in someways and heightened in others by the mud, caught his attention before the looming figure to which they belonged. Golden eyes slid toward the figure, masked slightly by the shadows and more so by their raggedy cloak. The young reaper paused, attentive gaze soaking up the strange hybrid teetering to his immediate left, portside obscured by the being of quiet discontent in the world and rippling power. Despite all this, the first thought to come knocking on his thin skull was that of a child, a mere fleck on the scale of youthful immunity. While hearty in stature, the creature was, clearly, young, but there was a trait amongst mortals and himself that physical embodiment defined little else about someone. Therefore, tucking away the tidbit of observation he'd conjured, the feline turned fully to face the stranger. Stranger. Perhaps there was something familiar about the creature, a small tint of familiarity in their face. There was a hunch on the tip of his tongue which he, silently, refused to utter, instead opting for the bland slur he was always asked, regardless of his growing knowledge.


    "Name and business." he enquired calmly, icy eyes trained unwavering upon the hybrid, visage stuck in that of placid neutrality. "Please."

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