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[so this is supposed to be paley's 1,000 post oneshot. but since i'll be on mobile for a few days, i'm typing and posting it now!
this is part one, and part two will be found in skyclan, where she'll sort of be stranded for a few days while she's recovering.
i'll still be posting retro with her here obviously, because i'm addicted to this place.
i do ask that nobody initially comes looking for her, since this isn't the first time she's run off (bloodclan, then the moonstone). however, i am looking for someone to come to skyclan and ask if they've seen her and sort of recover her!]
runner. starry. leaf. bluewisteria. sparrow.
countless others.
mintyblossom. brindlestar. redsky.
nameless others.
mangledheart. beepaw. crowpaw.
unknown others.
quietstar. sheogorath.
faceless others.
raspberrykit. mallowkit. fennelkit. skullcapkit. bramblekit.
so. many. others.
one by one, everyone she loved died. one by one they were pecked off, like flies who edged too close to a venus fly trap. one by one, they were swallowed up and spat out, landing in piles of dirt with a hardly marked grave. one by one, they left her alone in the world. left her to fend for herself, to stare the empty void in the face, then turn away. they expected her to ignore the anaconda winding it's way around her throat, expected her to ignore the serene offer of the venom.
she was so tired of losing the things she loved. for once, she wanted to be in control, for once, she wanted to choose her own fate.
she had so much going for her. so many friends, she still had two of her children left. she was ten moons old, she had so much time ahead of her. but when you grew up so quickly, when you killed so young, it was difficult to see the optimism in things.
something took hold of her. something deep and dark took hold of her. she hadn't slept in a week, hadn't eaten in nearly that long. she wasn't only numb physically, but mentally. she was a zombie, moving with basic thought, basic instinct. locked in her own mind, selfishly drowning herself in her anguish over everything she'd lost and paying no attention to the things she still had. it was easy to forget the good in times like these. when such a happy feline was swallowed by such an overwhelming sadness.
"runner." she whispered aloud as she walked, her voice inaudible over the storm. she was alone, she was sure of it. she may have been fading with her consciousness, but she wasn't stupid.
"starry." she said once again, taking another step. just like quietstar had. like father like daughter, right? she was more like him than she'd realized.
"leaf." she whispered her smallest littermates name as she reached the cliffs edge, tears falling as the wind whipped up from the gorge, assaulting her face. she smiled. she missed her siblings, she'd never gotten a formal goodbye. she'd never had a chance to tell them how much they'd help her grow.
"palemoon." and she flew.
[again, i ask that nobody sees this or traces her scent, they'll likely just assume she went missing. she should be back in a few irl days, it'll be half a moon or so ic.]
