Just a shot in the dark. [private]

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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;]In the darkness of the warriors den, half reclined in the center of his fellow warriors, Goldenlight blinked back at the blue eyes that stared at him.


    Fear rooted him in place. Tightened around his throat so that the shout of help he hoped to sound was little more then a choked gasp. His lungs burned and he realized he had been holding his breath. He opened his mouth to suck in air but nothing happened. The warrior wheezed and withered, forgetting the cold eyes that watched from the shadows.


    Something that felt like claws ripped at his chest and throat, and he burned. Falling hopeless back into his nest, flailing and gasping. Blood pooling from invisible wounds, wetting his fur and leaving his nose filled with the thick smell of blood. Pawsteps approached and Golden could here her laugh. Soft and musical...


    He didn't make sound. Only jerked his head up from his paws. Mossy eyes wide in the night, drinking in his surroundings with a moments panic. Fear had settled over his fur and he was glad for once that the den was nearly empty, those few there sleeping to deeply to notice his distress.


    Only a dream. No, a memory.


    The senior warrior was still a long while. Waiting until the smell of his fear had reseeded, and the fur on his spine and tail had settled back in place. The monster form his past was no more, never agai-What!?


    Goldenlight had turned his head to peer out into camp. But found himself instead staring back into hauntingly familiar blue eyes. Alarmed he curled his lips back, eyes wide.[/fancypost]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]"A-are you okay?" Moonflower stepped towards the warrior, she had probably scared him. "I'm sorry, I probably scared you didn't I?" The deputy sat down slightly closer to the warrior. She knew he wasn't her biggest fan but at least she was trying to be friendly. Besides, Moon found Goldenlight rather interesting.
    The dark fem kept her bright eyes on the ground. Once she'd accidentally woken up one of her clanmates because they were so bright. Stupid genetics. "Did you have a nightmare?" Oh great Starclan, Moonflower probably understood nightmares more than anyone. Her past wasn't the brightest.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;]He reacted to her words as if she'd spit fire and burned him.


    Jerking back and away from the deputy, all to aware of how close she was, he spat. "Who could possible be afraid of you!? I'm not sure if you've look at your own reflection lately, but you're hardly big or scary enough to put a kit on edge!"


    Scared! Of her? Not likely. Merely disturbed by how much he looked like his mother, that was all. If anything such a resemblance was an omen. Nothing good would come of associating with her, he could feel that all the way to his bones. Allowing his scornful gaze to give her a quick once over he sneered, "a nightmare? Do I look like a cat who has nightmares? Those are for cats who have regrets and I have none."[/fancypost]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]"There are many that are afraid of me." Moonflower didn't really care that he didn't like her. Lots of her clan mates felt the same way. "I wish we could at least try to be friends." The fae shook her head, she could guess what he was about to say, but she didn't want to think about it.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;]Try and be friends? The was the very last thing on his mind! He wanted... He didn't know what he wanted from her, but suddenly he realized that he did want something.


    Staring blankly into her pretty blue eyes, the warrior felt something stir in his belly. Something sharp and savage. Angry and impatient. Something old that he'd felt before, along with something strange and new that he hadn't.


    Goldenlight cringed. Those eyes suddenly hard to look at. So much like this mothers. That's why he couldn't stand to look at her. That's why he could feel that familiar twist of fear and anger in his belly. "I don't want to be your friend," he snapped. "I don't want to be anyone's friend. They only make you weak."[/fancypost]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]Moonflower of course would immediately disagree. "Umm... no. Friends do not make you weak. If anything they make you stronger. Please don't confuse that again." Moon's voice was firm, because she believed in what she was saying. In fact she had many friends, and they only made her feel stronger. "Why is it that you hate me so much?" Had she done something to him? Maybe she'd murdered someone he loved? She really couldn't be sure. But for some reason, it made her sad.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;]He hadn't expected her to agree so quickly. Or firmly. She spoke as if she truly believed in what she was saying. It was a surprise.


    "So you do have a backbone," he retorted sarcastically. "Nice to see you can defend something, even if it isn't worth defending."


    There had been a time when he had believed in friendship. Love too. But love was what had destroyed any and everything good and innocent in him. And the warrior wasn't fool enough to make that same mistake again. "I hate everyone," he replied coolly. That wasn't true, he could hear the lie for what it was. Goldenlight was simply in no need to be betrayed or let down, or feel sorrow at the lose of someone loved.


    Being close to others only brought pain. And he had had enough pain.[/fancypost]

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    [/justify][/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]Moonflower rolled her eyes silently, normally she would've been full on fighting with him right now. But this was different, she wanted to talk to him, not fight. "That isn't true. You can't hate everyone." Her claws dug into the earth in frustration, not because she wanted to fight him, it was literally just frustration. "I thought that was true once. When I wasn't as... nice as I am now." The fae shuddered, imagining the dark forest. Imagining her parents. A single tear slipped from her eye, and she quickly turned her head so he couldn't see. He already thought she was weak, he didn't need more ammunition.


    // when the both have parent issues


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;]But he had seen. And opened his mouth to mock her for it, but the words he so quickly built in his mind never rolled off his tongue. Instead he sat there gaping, not capable of throwing this one in her face.


    So quickly she turned him into a blubbering idiot. Unable to hate her as much as he tried, and he tried harder with her then anyone else.


    Snarling harshly he turned away, shoulders tense and fur bristling along his shoulders. "Blah! I can hate everyone. I do hate everyone. Even you. Even her," he added that last part silently. Barely above a whisper.[/fancypost]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]Her? What was that supposed to mean? "Well if you want to think that than fine, I guess I can't help you." The deputy sniffed a little bit, bright blue eyes closing. She was frustrated with the fact that he thought he hated everyone. That couldn't really be true could it? Even Moonflower, who had once believed the same thing, thought that there was something wrong with this. "Why do you hate everyone?" She knew he probably wouldn't tell her. In fact, he'd probably yell at her. I shouldn't have asked that. But she had, and she wanted an answer. That she knew she wouldn't get.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;]Why did he hate everyone?


    It was a good question. With an answer he didn't readily know. But he knew it had to stem from his... complicated childhood. One he shared with his brother, the only cat who could possible understand why it had turned him into such a... difficult cat. But how then had Bearbelly turned out so normal? Or maybe his brother just hid his scars deeper.


    But her question rubbed his fur wrong, along with all her other probing and poking and nosing about. What did she want with him anyways? Was it so hard to understand that he was better off alone? His lips curled savagely and he turned back to her, mossy eyes narrowed. "Why do you even care? Why can't you take the hint like everyone else in this clan and leave me alone?"


    Fury bristled his fur and he stood, shoving his muzzle towards her. "You wanna know so much about my past, lets here about yours? Well?"[/fancypost]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]Moonflower almost jumped from him yelling at her. Almost. She was still used to being yelled at. Her past was dark too. "You wanna know why past? Okay." Moonflower looked at her nest, what would he think of her after this? "I'm half clan. My parents both died when I was a kit. I used to train in the dark forest. All of my siblings have disappeared. I haven't seen the love of my life in a very long time." The deputy sniffled again, Laurelrush. Where was he? Did he ever miss her? Then she thought of Darkkit... or was it Darkpaw? She couldn't remember anymore. But she knew one thing. She didn't have a family. She was an orphan. All she had left was Mistheart. The fact that her family was all gone made her even more sad, and all the crying came on. She kept it silent and kept speaking. "My past isn't as bright as you think." He might not believe her, but it was true.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 18pt; font-family: impact; color: ##808180;]Goldenlight[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 8pt; color: black; padding: 2px;]He recoiled from the she-cat. A series of conflicting emotions flashing across his dark face. Disgust, resentment, guilt, compassion, and finally nothing. Goldenlight wanted to end everything right then and there, to tell her that she was despicable for betraying StarClan in such a way. Even more, she was half-clan.


    But he couldn't. She was close enough that her fur brushed against his when she turned, trying to hide her tears. But he could hear them in her voice. Smell them in the air. There was a need to comfort Moonflower, something he'd never wanted to do for anyone before, that was so overwhelming that he found himself talking. About things he'd never talked about to anyone before.


    "If we're going to make this a my-life-sucked-more contest, I'll win," he murmured softly. Giving her shoulder a small nudge that could only be defined as playful. "My brother, Bearbelly, and I are the only two of our litter that survived a crazy mother and a nonexistent father. We've done our share of dishonorable things too."
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    info | updated 12.26

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]Moonflower gave the warrior a sad smile, glad that he was opening up to her. "I guess we've both had a pretty terrible life." The deputy rolled her eyes thinking of clanmates that complained about how terrible their lives were when really they had it all. "I think it's a tie." She gave him a teasing tap on the shoulder with her tail, talking to him was actually cheering her up! Moonflower hadn't felt this excited to talk to anyone since Laurelrush. Laurelrush... No. Moonflower don't think about that. Se pushed the thought to the back of her mind, and soon enough she was smiling into his missy green eyes. His eyes were very pretty.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 18pt; font-family: impact; color: ##808180;]Goldenlight[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 8pt; color: black; padding: 2px;]It wasn't often he found himself so close to another cat. In battle it was necessary, but his thoughts were on ripping the other feline to pieces. His brother's occasional shoves or nudges, but that was normal between siblings who'd been through so much together.


    This closeness was different. He could feel the heat of her fur brushing against his own. Black against black. He could hear her breathing beside him, in time with his own. Her eyes lifted to meet his and Goldenlight found himself staring down at her pretty face, her smile. And those haunting blue eyes. Eyes that made his stomach clench and his body tense. He recoiled, lips curling up in the beginnings of a snarl.


    They were his mothers eyes. Eyes of hatred and betrayal and pain. Hate and something else battled inside. While his mossy eyes glared down at the ground beneath his paws, body shifting away from Moonflowers.
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    info | updated 12.26

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]Moonflower felt her breathing hitch as he moved away. She knew she hadn't done anything. Or had she? Whatever she had done, she hadn't done it on purpose. Somehow, she understood that they were keeping a silence between them. It was stuck between awkward and comfortable. It was probably just as well that they were silent. Especially with all the arguing they were doing, keeping quiet might symbolize peace. Or it was even worse than arguing. Maybe he was thinking about how much he hated her. Whatever he was thinking, Moonflower would either be extremely happy or extremely sad.
    Because for some strange reason, there was this feeling in her stomach. For some reason she wanted... no she needed him to not hate her. That was all she wanted from him. Something other than hatred.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 18pt; font-family: impact; color: #808180;]Goldenlight[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 8pt; color: black; padding: 2px; text-align: justify;]The warrior didn't know how to control his wild swing of emotion or what to name it. Golden was well aware of what hate felt like, he'd felt it most his life, but this was so much stronger and irrational. Dangerous.


    Suddenly restless Golden rose to his paws, mossy eyes staring over the deputy's head as he addressed her. "I need to stretch my legs. I'm gonna patrol the borders." He didn't often explain himself to others but then he didn't always do his normal thing when it came to Moonflower. But the she-cat was also his deputy, there were some things she was expected to be told he supposed.


    Without waiting for a response he slipped out of the den, stride tense and long as he made a beeline for the camps entrance.
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    info | updated 12.26

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]"Do- do you mind if I come with you?" The feline looked up at Goldenlight through her lashes, blinking in a mocking way. She'd probably come with him whether he liked it or not. But making him think he had s choice might be a good thing.


    // ahh sorry it's so rushed I have a log of homework tonight


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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 18pt; font-family: impact; color: #808180;]Goldenlight[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 400px; font-size: 8pt; color: black; padding: 2px; text-align: justify;]He opened his mouth to straight out refuse her, but nothing came up but air. Coughing he turned his face away, staring off into the trees as he walked on. Muttering a barely audible, "whatever."



    // Rushed. Taking a note from a favorite book of mine. Lets say during their outing they get captured and confined inside a shed by two-legs. Maybe they can be trapped their a full day? Then the two-legs return and set the building on fire. While they are trying to escape wood falls and traps Golden's leg. He tells her to leave because he realizes that he doesn't want her to get hurt or die trying to save him. But she stays of course and tries anyway. She can't get it but before she can try something else another clanmate realizes they are inside and comes to help them...


    After which Golden is totally livid with Moon for risking her life by trying to save his. Admitting to himself that he can't bare the thought of a world without her. Not sure if he will admit this to her right away. He'll probably just stomp around and refuse to talk to her a while. XD


    What do you think?
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    info | updated 12.26

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px][justify][size=8]Moonflower gave the warrior a slight smile, at least he hadn't outright rejected her. "Thanks." The fae began walking behind Goldenlight, she kept getting extremely excited but she tried to push it all down. "Where should we start?" She knew his answer might possibly be something with an edge of annoyance. Her feet moved her forwards without her mind even thinking about. For some reason the only thing she could focus only on the back of his head. What is wrong with me?


    //omg yes! That sounds like a great idea!


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