Life was but an endless cycle for him, he found a meaning and just as soon as he grasped it tight it would slip through his paws like water. He'd continue the process, finding more pools of aspirations and desires to let slip past him, an endless waterfall of regret spilled from his paws at a near constant rate until he found himself lost and alone once more. Gildedheart had not been named because his heart was gold, it was false-fool's gold, it drew others in only to have them suffer through lies and his own inability to protect them. He'd lost children, mates, best friends.
He remembered so vividly crying over Hostesscupcake's body, how he despaired when Darkbloom simply showed up dead one day with little warning, how his kittens one by one were lost to him despite his efforts to protect them.
In StormClan he had struggled to maintain order given Littlestar and Viola's lack of presence through certain points and in that end he failed as well, unable to control it all with no help and slowly he fell into the depression that had loomed over him since an apprentice turned deputy in ShadowClan.
He left, wandered, if you asked him where he had been he would not be able to tell you; only that he was homesick and weary and that nothing could stop his wandering paws quite like StormClan had.
So it was so that the golden male was perched once more at the border as he had once long ago, his fur bedraggled and his head held low as he tried to force up a friendly pretense only to feel the weight of the world drag him further down.
