Tᴏ Bᴇ ᴏʀ Nᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ Bᴇ... {ᴘ} ᴡ/ Hᴇᴀᴅsᴘᴀᴄᴇ

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Life was at a really awkward point for the pretty feline. She was at a crossroads and wasn't sure which way to go. Something was drawing the apprentice away from her duties as a medicine cat. A dream of a storm but the young calico didn't know what it meant. Another was the path she had sworn to take as a new apprentice to train and learn the ways of StarClan and herbs and healing. That meant only having friends, never a mate, and no possibility of having her own kits which made the cat, known as Dovepaw, ache deep in her young bones.

The day was a particularly overcast one and the looming clouds threatened rain so Dovepaw knew she had to collect herbs before hand because Brambleheart was tending to the sick Petalsun. Her striking blue gaze scanned the cave for a candidate to accompany her. She was always told not to go out alone because unlike the other apprentices, Dovepaw was not muscular and didn't know much about fighting. She knew basic things that Teistedpaw and Stormheart and Brambleheart had taught her but if she were to be attacked, she'd be killed within seconds.

Then her eyes landed on the familiar grey tom know as Stormheart. They'd been friends since they were apprentices and she considered him a very close friend. Bounding over to the slightly older feline, a smile spread on her face. [b]"Hey Stormheart, will you come with me to gather so herbs before it rains later on?" Dovepaw spoke in a happy yet soft voice, looking up at the bigger cat.
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[align=center][size=7pt]lightsy loves you

[align=center][fancypost bgcolor=black; border: none; width: 280px; height: 20px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: left;color: white;width: 350px; height: 10px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: -8.5px; margin-left: -7px; font-size: 20px; padding: 11px;][i]DOVEPAW[/fancypost][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=white; border: none; width: 290px; height: 105px; padding: 10px;][align=center]

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Life was at a really awkward point for the pretty feline. She was at a crossroads and wasn't sure which way to go. Something was drawing the apprentice away from her duties as a medicine cat. A dream of a storm but the young calico didn't know what it meant. Another was the path she had sworn to take as a new apprentice to train and learn the ways of StarClan and herbs and healing. That meant only having friends, never a mate, and no possibility of having her own kits which made the cat, known as Dovepaw, ache deep in her young bones.

The day was a particularly overcast one and the looming clouds threatened rain so Dovepaw knew she had to collect herbs before hand because Brambleheart was tending to the sick Petalsun. Her striking blue gaze scanned the cave for a candidate to accompany her. She was always told not to go out alone because unlike the other apprentices, Dovepaw was not muscular and didn't know much about fighting. She knew basic things that Teistedpaw and Stormheart and Brambleheart had taught her but if she were to be attacked, she'd be killed within seconds.

Then her eyes landed on the familiar grey tom know as Stormheart. They'd been friends since they were apprentices and she considered him a very close friend. Bounding over to the slightly older feline, a smile spread on her face. [b]"Hey Stormheart, will you come with me to gather so herbs before it rains later on?" Dovepaw spoke in a happy yet soft voice, looking up at the bigger cat.
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[align=center][size=7pt]lightsy loves you

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: beige; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]Dovepaw looked at Stormheart and noticed his tired gaze and realized that just yesterday, he was Stormpaw. No he was no longer her denmate or even fellow apprentice. He was a warrior with responsibilities and the possibility of becoming a mentor soon. Maybe he'd have no more time for her with his new and more freeing life. What if he fell in love with a pretty she-cat and forgot completely about their friendship? No, she couldn't think that way. They were more than friends, they were extremely close friends and that was something the feline cherished deeply.

Her blue eyes followed his a little when he glanced to the side as he thought. Of course he wanted to sleep, why was she being a mousebrain? She could go later if it was easier but Stormheart was speaking and she almost didn't register what he was saying but her gaze went back to him and she nodded her happily. "yes, that sounds like a plan Stormheart." Dovepaw said with confidence and nudged him slightly and grinned. The name still felt a little foreign but soon she wouldn't even think about it. Still, she would use his old name to tease him.

Her paws carried her out of the camp. Mist from the tumbling waterfall made her thick fur damp as she made it past and out into the open. She glanced back over her shoulder a time or two to make sure the larger feline was still following and hadn't abandoned her. Her stomach was clenched with anxiety that it would happen as he was a warrior longer and longer. "Okay, so I need to collect borage, marigold, and tansey." Dovepaw spoke, falling instep beside him, bumping him a bit to try and make him stumble or fall.

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: beige; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]Her mind wandered as she walked beside Stormheart. Mainly, it wandered to the dream of the storm and the herbs. The thought that perhaps the storm was her friend crossed her mind. He was the only cat in the clan with storm in his name but perhaps it meant a literal storm. Either way it couldn't be good. To walk down a path clouded and raining and thundering or to walk down a path with herbs and healthy cats surrounded by chirping birds and bramble. Maybe she should talk with Asterstar or Brambleheart. No, she would do that later if nothing else made sense.

Dovepaw was interrupted while thinking by an unexpected nudge from Stormheart that sent her staggering and almost caused her to fall. Of course, she should've been expecting that after attempting the same thing and only causing him to stumble a bit. He was much bigger and had a better sense of balance. He was a fighter and she felt safe with him by her side, comforted by the handsome tom's strength and capabilities. It was nice to be assured that someone was looking out for her.

"You need to learn to lighten up and have some fun, Stormpaw" Dovepaw taunted, scampering ahead and grinning at him. Just like when he was an apprentice and they'd wrestle around even though she always lost. But she needed to be serious because she dragged him away to collect herbs so there would be stocks and they wouldn't run low. It was her job and it needed to get done even if it meant no fun whatsoever. They could do fun things afterwards. Of course, only if Stormheart was up for some fun if he hadn't already turned into those grumpy older warriors.

Then he asked a question about where they were going. Towards the forest of course even though it wasn't a short trek to get there. "Don't be mad, but the forest. That's where the best supply is." Dovepaw said and feigned innocence to make sure he didn't get upset at her. Of course things would be different now but she wanted to make sure he hadn't changed after one night. Stormheart would need to loosen up and she knew how but it would be before they went back instead of now because they'd never get a thing done. "Unless, of course, you've become a grumpy warrior."

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: beige; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]"Well I'm a medicine cat, I have more authority over you in some cases." Dovepaw retorted and felt the sun disappear completely as the reached the forest. Rain would follow in suit soon enough much to her dismay. When her fur was wet, it weighed her down because of how thick and long it was. She'd just stay under to protective cover of the trees until it cleared up. Spend some time with Stormheart before he was swept up into his warrior duties and didn't have time for her.

His words sent a giggle echoing from her maw and she turned to rest her striking blue faze on him and a mischievous smile forme. "I guess you'll find out mister brave and serious warrior." Dovepaw teased almost daring him to retort or throw a teasing comment at her. She always poked fun at Stormheart and teased him in a friendly manner. Nothing too serious or rude. The feline didn't see herself as a foxheart so she wasn't rude and was more so humble and friendly and sweet.

Her paws led her deeper into the tangle of roots and tall trees. Rain started to fall but it seemed only a drizzle with the protection of the trees even though the sound seemed much stronger than a light rain. "It's raining now. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to collect herbs this morning. Perhaps you'll come with me after it clears up?" she asked, looking at the grey tom. Then an idea sprouted in her mind and she turned to face him and swatted him playfully, puffy out her chest to appear bigger and stronger. "What you gonna do about it oh mighty warrior." Docepaw taunted, moving a few tail lengths away.

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: beige; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]"Apprentice or not, I'm still a medicine cat apprentice." Dovepaw spoke, putting emphasis on those two words that separated her from every one of the other apprentices. Even after she received her name she'd be an apprentice. Up until Brambleheart retired and became and elder or passed away. Of course, she wasn't longing for that too happen and knew she had much more to learn before receiving her full name. All her friends would receive their full names soon and she would still have -paw in her name. Still the label of an apprentice and it sucked.

The rain continued to fall but the canopy above the two felines offered alright protection from the storm that was picking up. Of course, it didn't stay a light drizzle under the massive trees but turned into heavier rain but she didn't care anymore. Now she had more time to spend with her friend. Dovepaw knew soon their separate duties would force them to dedicate more time and not hang out a lot except when there were meals or ceremonies.

His comment didn't register but she knew he was saying something but she was too caught up in her teasing and taunting that it went over her head. When there was distance between them, she knew now that it wasn't going to just be a game of taunts but a game of strength. Dovepaw wasn't expecting Stormheart to launch himself but it didn't hurt as she tumbled to the ground, his weight pinning her down. With a slick move, she wriggled her way out from under him and turned to face him, swatting an sheathed paw at him and hitting his muzzle a couple times. Her eyes were bright with joy as she backed away a bit and reared up to seem bigger.

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: beige; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]Dovepaw knew she couldn't beat Stormheart in a simple game like this. Still, she would gladly engage and try to beat him. His head made contact with her soft belly and, though it wasn't hard, went tumbling and was soon at the mercy of Stormheart though she knew nothing bad would happen. His paw was resting gently against her chest but she didn't squirm to escape from him. Instead, she just gazed up at his eyes and smiled, extending up to nuzzle him softly. It was a gesture that she probably shouldn't have done but she did it anyways.

The rain was picking up and she was basically soaked from head to tail. A light sparked in the eyes even though she knew that they wouldn't get back for a while as the storm brewed stronger and stronger. After staring up at the tom who had her pinned, Dovepaw wriggled out from underneath him and stood up on her feet. Giving her pelt a good shake, water droplets went everywhere but it didn't matter because it was down pouring now. "I know a place we can go to get out of the rain."

Then she started to lead the way to an abandoned and falling apart two leg nest. Of course it wasn't ideal but it offered good protection and you could catch a mouse or two within its depths. Her fur dragged slightly as she pushed on. "I hope you don't mind that it's an old twoleg nest." Dovepaw commented as she pushed her way into the structure. It's floorboards creaked slightly at her weight and she sat herself down in the dry area and began the task over grooming out her long fur in attempt to avoid awkward conversation after there little moment not long ago.

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: beige; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]Dovepaw wasn't sure what that moment between them meant. What had come over her? It was allowed and couldn't happen. They could not happen. It was against the code for her even to have feelings for Stormheart. What would Brambleheart do if he found out she was have these feelings for Stormheart? Force her to be a warrior apprentice? That couldn't happen. So much was at stake but these emotions were real and she wanted to grasp onto them and keep hold. There was a definite line between friends and more than friends and they were tiptoeing along that line.

Once inside the rotting structure, she watched him go to catch something to eat for the two of them and she flicked her ear to acknowledge him. Her blue eyes scanned the room as she lost herself in thought. What would come of this? Maybe she should end it before it starts. The feelings would be there and she would yearn to spend time with him. Was that the best thing? Maybe they could see where this leads them and hide it. That was too hard and bad things could come of it and she didn't think risking it was a good idea. All these thoughts were dizzying and she hadn't even noticed that Stormheart had returned until the thud of prey hit her ears.

Dovepaw was aware of his presence beside her as he sat down and helped her clean out her soaking wet fur. She shifted on her paws for a moment but didn't do much more. It was in that very snapshot that she knew. She knew she wanted a life full of love that wasn't just to the clan but to a singular cat. That cat was Stormheart but he knew as well as she did that it would never happen. It couldn't unless they wanted to risk everything they had worked for in the clan. "Hopefully the rain will let up soon." she spoke, hoping to avoid an awkward conversation that could happen if feelings were brought up. Perhaps he wouldnt say a thing about it and avoid that talk all together.

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: black; font-size: 10px;text-align: justify;]Dovepaw listened to the rain hit the roof of the nest as well as the creak of the floorboards. It was like a weird lullaby that made her drowsy but the roar of thunder in the distance made her eyes reopen. A bright light flashed, creeping through the cracks and crevices of their shelter and she glanced around. She could hear the scratching of mice and the soft breath of the tom beside her. Every single one of her senses was on high alert. The feline didn't want to put herself and Stormheart in danger because she wasn't paying attention to the surroundings.

She could still feel his tongue smoothing down her damp fur. The calico knew that she'd have to groom herself again before they left because her fur would become a bit ruffled after it finished drying and that was never a good look. Dovepaw stopped grooming her flank for a moment and glanced over at her friend as he spoke. It wasn't that she hated the rain, not at all, but that there was this tension in the air about what had happened but she wasn't sure if he felt it. If the rain stopped, then she could get away and try to remember that she's a medicine cat for a reason. This pull to be near him, to be with him, was stronger than anything she'd ever felt in her life. Maybe this is what her dream had meant. The path that lead to the storm was Stormheart and the one that lead to the meadow was her duties.

Stormheart's voice tore her away from her thoughts as he commented about the rats. She sniffed the air and sure enough, the smell of the foul creatures hung in the air. "Then, until the rain dies down, you got to protect me." There was a playfulness in her voice as she settled down beside her friend. Blue eyes landed on the plump mouse but she didn't feel that hungry at the moment. Perhaps it was the stench of decaying wood or rat that had stolen her appetite. "I know you haven't eaten yet, you can have mine too. I'm not that hungry." Dovepaw spoke and nudged the other mouse away from her before resting her head against her paws, glad her fur was thick enough to block out the cold the storm brought with it.

[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 438px; font-family: georgia; color: black; font-size: 10px;text-align: justify;]His words made her smile with happiness. Dovepaw knew she could count on him even if she hadn't said those words. Stormheart was always there for her and he cared about her. She couldn't ask for anything more. Well, she wanted more but she couldn't that. Perhaps the feelings were only one-sided which meant that there didn't have to be any problem. None whatsoever. When she gazed at him, she couldn't help but think maybe he felt the same which would definitely complicate things to a new level. Maybe she should bring it up, ask him if he liked her.

When Stormheart didn't argue against her not eating, Dovepaw sighed silently in relief. Honestly, even if she was hungry, the feline didn't think she'd be able to keep anything down. Anxiety clenched her insides and squeezed them tightly and she didn't want to see her breakfast again if she were to eat. Bad ideas. Her eyes moved to her paw while he ate. there was a bit off mud drying on the soft fur and she sighed, not happy that she'd have to clean to mud out of them later.

She watched him for a moment as she lay beside him, close but not too close. Touching but barely. Like when he was an apprentice with her all over again. This time was different though. There was an unspoken tension of sorts. To talk about what happened or not. To express true feelings or not? What if someone overheard? What if they weren't mutual? What if StarClan did something bad if she even so much as tested the idea of a relationship that wasn't strictly platonic in nature? So many what if's and it scared her. "Do you - uh - do you like me?" Dovepaw was scared of the answer but it was a question she needed answered. "Like, in a more-than-friends way."