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//I HAVE PUT A GORE WARNING IN HERE ** BEWARE
AND ENJOY, LOVES
he had run. he had run from it all. his past, his everything. back when he was on the streets, in the house with granny, and then in the white room. that was from the point he had attempted to erase everything. however, from the point that zacharie had been taken away in the van a while ago, it had hit him with a slight feather of doubt. what if the man from the white room would come back to take him? it was the only thing he was afraid of, really. he feared nothing besides the man from the white room.
but now, as he sat alone in his home, taking slow swigs from a vodka bottle, his mind wandered. he couldn't help but think of it. his past. the fragments of memories flashing back every time he tipped the bottle back just brought back more each time. when he would play in the backyard with his brothers. annabella and maverick would be chasing eachother for the stupidest of reasons, probably because he took her toy. anna would always whine as she chased after him and mav would show no mercy in running from her like the proud brother he was. he was the oldest, after all. he, gus, had been the second oldest and third was anna. lastly was avi, the runt of the litter, but sincerely loved by all of us, including granny. granny was the old woman who had taken them in after their mother had bit the dust, though that was a harsh term for it as she had died sobbing and shaking outside the screen door as she yearned for her children. granny had kept them from their mother, who was deathly ill, and a few days passed before she was gone.
tipping it back once more, he remembered the times he would spend under the shade, joking around with avi. at that time he was called 'gus' and it was so much more to him than just a name. it was given to him by granny, who him and his siblings loved more than a mother. she had spent nights up, rocking them to sleep, feeding them and patting them, and just all in all nurturing them. a few times when anna did something wrong, mav would take the blame and make everyone keep quiet about it, all the siblings honestly looked up to him. he was their big brother, of course they did.
days flew by into months and before it could be stopped and just enjoyed, they were already eight months old. nobody had discovered the old woman with the pack of wolf siblings, she was so deep in the countryside it would be nearly impossible. her children had long since moved, far far away, and her husband had sadly passed several years ago. these pups were probably the most happiness that had been brought to her life. and that was when the inspector came. at first, he had no idea that she was keeping wolves in her backyard till' his second to last visit when he heard a hint of a howl. this man would know- he was a collector of wolf skins. it sounded gnarly and rough, as it was, and he was filthy rich so it didn't matter in the least, it was a common hobby to him.
sarcy bit his dark lip, finishing off the bottle as he frowned deeply, sighing. he didn't want to relive this. it was utterly terrible. the last visit of the inspector was the most terrible turning point in sarcy's life possible. the man tricked granny, making her believe one thing and telling her to look it up before he socked her over the head and down she went. he went to the back yard, where the siblings were playing, though they had already sensed something was wrong. without hesitance, mav attacked the inspector, ripping at him with a rage only quelled by bloodshed. they knew what had happened, they could scent the blood, with their strong noses. he himself had already shoved avi out the hole in the back of the fence and then pushed anna through next. lastly he barely managed to get mav off of the mangled man before sprinting out of the yard and into the cornrows. everything went to hell in the next hour.
the man, filthy rich, as stated before, called in a search helicopter. it combed the corn rows with unrivaled precision, it's bright strobe lights on in the intense dark of the night. the siblings had attempted to run, and quickly failed in their attempts, getting shot down with tranquilizer darts and going down instants later. it had been a desperate struggle to get away, barking at eachother and forcing avi to run ahead of all of them, the older siblings all wanted the young one to get away. of course, that wasn't the case.
this part was blurry to him and as sarcy set down his empty bottle, he stood from his fluffy mass of feathers he had gathered and stalked over to the other side of his den. peeking his head inside a deep hole he had, he grasped another bottle by the neck, popping off the cork with an easy movement of his claw. he had done it countless times, however as he headed back to his makeshift bed, his head began to ache. why did it hurt so much to think about what had happened? he knew it had been terrible but why- and that's when his body exploded in pain. there was nothing around him to make him feel such painful tremors, and he hit the ground screaming, scrabbling with desperate paws to find relief. memories were shooting into his brain, each new one sharper than the last, all equal to stabbing fifty needles in one spot at the same time. over and over.
he could remember the whiteness of it all. the cage he and his siblings had been kept in was small. he remembered how he had struggled against the man putting them in there, breaking his hand with his powerful jaws. the screams of the human as he threw him in, hitting the pure wall with a thud before everything went black. from there, for a whole month, they were washed with the best quality shampoos and rinses, coats groomed by quiet women who came in and out of their cages to brush them, and given small trims every week. it had been because the man had been recovering, prepping the siblings for the horrors he was about to do. he could remember how he stared at the white walls of the small room, fears leaking in on him that he would never get out, though since he was with his siblings he was able to keep it together. they all slept huddled together in the farthest corner, day and night reminiscing over their childhood and giving soft laughs as they joked. that was probably the few last happy moments they had.
** GORE WARNING STARTS **
mav was first, he had been the one to attack the man first, after all. it made sense to the human. for four days and nights, constant screams and shrieks came from outside the room, so loud it kept them up at night. it wasn't the human, however. it was their brother. he was being tortured so brutally., yet delicately. when he was returned to the cage, he was not the same animal. his coat was completely gone, as was the skin attached to it, he was covered in bandages that were soaked a terrible crimson and he was thrown relentlessly in the cage. anna didn't have time to say goodbye, they took her next, wailing and sobbing as she left. he and his younger brother were left choked with no goodbyes, broken down next to their broken older brother. they had left him alive while they did such a thing. cruel sons of b-tches. they hadn't ended his misery, no, that was too f-cking far out of their league.
pushing up against the den wall as he battled with the extremely painful memories that kept slamming into his head, he began to rip at the bedding below him, an pounding and unbearable ache beginning to make his heart throb. "make it stop.." his voice was hushed, cracking as he glared at the moonlight falling in through the messily carved openings that he used as windows. the blue luminosity was illuminating everything, making the room much prettier than it actually was, kind of nostalgic as to how the same light would fall on him and his siblings as they wrestled in the dark hours of the night out in the yard. "it hurts." he muttered, forcing his aching head and body against the stone wall he was situated against firmly.
he was forced back into his previous state, now avi was looking at him with sullen eyes that were hard with terror. he had told him to end mav's pain. his bleeding brother that was laying next to him was a husk of what he once was, shallowly breathing as he hiccuped occasionally in his struggle, a constant low whine and pant coming from his mouth. the words 'please' kept on spilling out with the tears that he never knew his brother could even muster. how could they do such a thing to a strong person like him? HOW? sarcy was reliving every moment as if it was happening, he could remember tears clouding his vision as he outstretched his paws forward to hover beside his brother's neck.
was this what he had done? had he killed his own brother? he gently took his brother's head onto him, hushing his whimpers in a quiet heartbroken sob, realizing what he was about to do. he leaned down and lapped a tongue over the naked ear, only a tangy taste of blood hitting the back of his mouth as he trembled. a small guttural sound was made as he had placed his paw's on either side of his brother's bandaged jaw, cries of anguish racking him. and then he forced himself to do the unthinkable. he broke his brother's neck. his breathing shut off the moment he did so, and his once brother went limp in his arms.
"it huRTS.." he whispered, silent tears hitting the ground he was resting on, the terrible pain had ebbed away and was replaced with this boulder size pressure of sorrow. it kept a choking throb in his throat, the worst kind that made the inside of it just have a dull and sad pain. that was the only way to describe it, really, as he breathed heavily, attempting to lift the weight that was pressing relentlessly against his chest. it was as if he had been crying for hours, though he honestly had no idea how long he had been on that floor, heaving as he tried to snap out of it. it was as if his limbs ha been stuck together out of an utter shock, yet that was far from what he was feeling.
he was remembering how he and avi had curled up in the corner, screaming sobs tearing themselves from their maws. it would be the most sorrowful kind of howls possible, run ragged with terror and misery as if they were drowning in the grief of it all. occasionally between them they would paused for several minutes to struggle for air, silently sobbing as they gazed at their brother from across the room. he was more a lob of flesh that was rapped in bandages, left out to dry, as the hours went by.
they didn't hear any screams until the following week, at first it was a loud sob before becoming a shrill scream and screeching, which lasted for hours on end. the two couldn't tell when the shrieking became the sound of a buzzing sound, it just.. happened. a few days later, anna was thrown back in, and she looked worse. it was almost impossible, yet completely possible. her skin had been ripped away relentlessly and she was covered in bandages, head to toe, as mav had, yet she had no tail. it was just a gory stump. the words she said to them were dreadful and hit him like a train,"i.. love you guys... so much- but.. end it.. please.. i-" a stream of crimson ran down from her hazel orbs as she locked her desolate orbs, filled with only emotions of love and pain. she was choking out these last words, chalk full of a desperate sound,"-i.. need it... to.. end.." at this point, the two were a sobbing mess once more beside her, their whines no longer human or animal as they huddled next to her. he remembered having put himself between her line of vision and mav, he didn't want her to see him like this. she would instead see him on the other side, as it should be.
"sTOP.." he almost shrieked, unable to stop himself as he went back, paws moving to gently stroke the top of his sister's head for the last time. then he broke her neck, ending all the suffering, but she died with a smile on her face, paw being grasped by avi as he screamed words of sorrow. once she was gone however, his little brother's words became foul, hateful, and he couldn't be blamed for the angry thoughts spewing from his mouth. he himself wanted to do such a thing, but he only brought into a hug as the younger kid sobbed curses to the man who had forced all this upon them.
but he remembered exactly what he said in that moment,"i'm going next." he wanted to keep avi from the pain as best as he could, and as his little brother looked up with wide and startled eyes, he wildly shook his head. he was denying the decision, but avi couldn't stop him. he needed to protect him. as best as he could, under the circumstances.
a few days later, the same sliding of the door opened and the man stepped in, heading for him. as he had planned. he would go without a fight. he needed to. for avi. and that was when his little brother threw himself at the man, practically into his arms, scrabbling desperately. "nO-" his words from the past and present were in unison,"-DON'T YOU F-CKING DARE I SAID I WAS GOING NEXT!" he screamed, voice aching as this was the loudest he had screamed in his life, slamming himself against the door that had quickly closed,"NO, YOU F-CKING BASTARD, I SAID I WAS GOING NEXT!!" the harsh words were not directed at his little brother, instead at the man, who had just taken his youngest siblings from him. how could he? how dare he. he would die. no doubt. he would murder this man with every last ounce of his strength. the guttural screams began immediately after, followed by persistent loud cries and sobs in between just to be cut off by shrieks of terror.
the last time the door opened, it was the man. he had come to get him. but he was the most ready he had been. he lunged forward with all the force he had and tore into that man's leg, forcing him to the ground and ripping out his windpipe. it had been that easy, but he didn't stop there. in a mad, savage rage he tore up that rancid body, flinging all he could outside the white cell he had stayed in for so many months. not wanting to putrify his other sibling's corpses. his vision was all covered in red at that point, and the visions stopped, letting his struggling and tensed muscles finally relax.
** GORE WARNING ENDS **
"IT HURTS." his lungs burned as he screamed such a thing, sitting up as he ducked his head, tears steadily flowing now as he took in sharp breaths,"IT HUrts..." he ended up whispering, the most pure of sorrow clear in his voice. why did it hurt so much? he hadn't felt this in such a long time- why was it coming back? and that was when he started to get up, stumbling over to the small block of stone that had a notepad on it before he began writing. he tried to put as much of his personality into it as possible, otherwise he would never be remembered, and he couldn't be forgotten.
[hr]
dear blizzardclan people,
if you are reading this, i have no idea what happened. i guess people are supposed to know what they want to write before they write these notes but i have literally no f-cking idea so i'm just writing. which is funny, because i never wanted to be a writer- i don't think the money flow is steady. anyway, not to sound cliche, but i'm either dead or gone, and that's how it is. i don't know what will have happened but i guess i needed to write this so you guys don't feel like total pieces of sh-ts when you find out about whatever happened.
-i'll start off with margaery. dude, you were a damn good drinking buddy- i hope you know that. and whatever is going on with suiteheart, it'll work out in the end, though honestly i suck with relationships so me giving relationship advice is a big no no. it was a fun run while it lasted, though. cheers.
-ayeee saltpaw, you little asshole you- whats up? it's kind of weird for me to be serious and sh-t around you, especially after you made me read that novel, but thinking about that now makes me seriously considering going and sneak attacking the f-ck out of you while you sleep. but that would be pretty unfair sportsmanship, so i'll get you next time.
-yo, suiteheart, dog. i don't know if you remember me all that well but i knew you. and that's what counts. i don't know what's been happening this past week, as i've been stuck up in my crib that whole time but hopefully you may be regaining memories? i don't know how it works at all so that's why i put a question mark- cause i have no f-cking idea. but, good luck on that, margaery really needs you. i personally root for gay flower mom to get back with gay punk mom.
-tama, what's up? you better not cry when you see this cause i know that's probably what you'll do. wait, maybe i'm wrong. but i'm pretty sure you thought i was awesome. and see, when you think someone who is awesome, is really awesome, and then they just up 'out of nowhere' vanish, you get a bit sad. but hey- i might be wrong, though i'm pretty sure i'm right. oh, also, you should definitely have kids with that matty guy and name one after me, just saying.
-so. lucina. uh. sorry, i guess. i didn't mean to up and leave- which means you won't have a border patrol partner. i know you won't find one as amazing as me anytime soon, but you should definitely seek counseling if it affects you too much. other than that, i just wanted to let you know that you never showed me to that sauna, even though i was the one who gave up on that, just take the blame. a gone person can't take blame, okay? anyway, don't forget me in the meantime, i can't have people forgetting great names. it looks bad on the resume.
- irelandpaw, though i didn't know you well- i saw you around the clan. and, after all, i am trying to write to all the blizzardclanners i know, i will write to you as well. you seemed like a pretty chill person, as far as i could tell, and i just wanted to wish you luck in your apprenticeship. stay sharp, my friend.
- storm, dude, damn were you always there. good job for that, really. it seemed at every raid you were there, kind of like a wall in a way, though i don't want to compliment you too much because that may show you my true nice self. which exists, by the way. but, hey, i'm sure you'll climb the ranks in no time dude, before you know it, you'll probably be way up there. just take your youth slow, dude. and drink whenever you feel like it. that's a tip from a pro.
- francis you are a complete and utter pervert. but i admire that about you, about how you are so able to show yourself to the world without yielding a single bit of your personality. i mean, some people are quiet perverts, but you are just the loud kind of everywhere pervert. personally i never thought i would ever meet a pervert in my lifetime, but you sir, you have maxed out three lifetimes. yes. you deserve an award. though, in all fairness i would most likely push you in a mud puddle, and then give it to you.
- yo warpaint, i don't know if you expected this or not but i needed to write this down to let you know somethings. there are modern words that you will not understand, and it will probably make people be confused. do not fret- this is simply because you are so dope they do not understand. also, caution, if you try to use any modern words i would suggest asking before you do so or you will most likely not be understood. whelp, just had to clear that up. otherwise you were a chill guy, to be honest, quite polite. i could never be that polite. whatever, no time to reminiscence- i gotta move onto the next paragraph.
- bulletpaw, man, how's it hanging? i know that's a kind of old saying for me, considering old people used to say it, but this'll probably be the last time i see you for a while so i'm kind of just running out of greetings and farewells. ah, but with my amazing improvisation i'm sure everything will be fine. also, i will dream about throwing that bat out the window, i'm sorry but i don't care for it. that'll be all, just keep being cool w/ all your rocker dreams. at least i thought you dreamed about that. i don't really know.
- HEY RIVERPAW, YOUR INSULTS ARE NOT THAT GOOD, by the way. just wanted to let you know that. my insults are better. i know your plan now, you try to goat people on and force them into caves- that is how you kill people you don't like. whelp, now that i've figured you out- i'm done complaining. i actually think it would've been nice to be your mentor, though it would be kind of hard to understand what you are saying sometimes, i think i would've been able to manage it. well, that's it for now. see you later.
i think that's everybody i know okayly well at least, i don't even think 'okayly' is a word though. however you get the gist. this is kind of a sh-tty way to go out but just assume i kind of died, it's better to say that than to just say he disappeared for no reason. but i am disappearing for a reason, i have to go do some things, and i won't be back for a while or never. it was fun while it lasted. see you later, guys.because byes are for stupid people
-sarcy
and with that, he folded the crumpled piece of paper, dropping the pen as he turned to leave. at least he had augustus with him, though the motherf-cker probably would have a non stop screaming fit about how he should have stayed. whatever. he hadn't just experienced what sarcy had, and now the wolf had a bit of vengeance in his heart. unknown to everyone, he was gone before the sun rose.
//m'kay, that was 2,977 words of pain
damn
but there you go
i almost cried twice while writing this
and i'm not gonna give you a summary because i will make you read it
but i just want to sayi trICKED YOU AHA
okay i'm done, that was short-lived[hr]