said it was forever ;; ronan's loner one-shots

[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 425px; text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; text-trasform: lowercase][font=arial]// decided I didn't want to put him in a clan just yet, but I really want to make angsty one shots of what he'll be doing until I decide where I want to put him, so yeah! This'll basically be his 100 oneshot challenge as well :^) most of these are actually also going to be human aus lmao

1. Introduction
2. Complicated
3. Making History
4. Rivalry
5. Unbreakable
6. Obsession
7. Eternity
8. Gateway
9. Death
10. Opportunities
11. 33%
12. Dead Wrong
13. Running Away
14. Judgment
15. Seeking Solace
16. Excuses
17. Vengeance
18. Love
19. Tears
20. My Inspiration
21. Never Again
22. Online
23. Failure
24. Rebirth
25. Breaking Away
26. Forever and a day
27. Lost and Found
28. Light
29. Dark
30. Faith
31. Colors
32. Exploration
33. Seeing Red
34. Shades of Grey
35. Forgotten
36. Dreamer
37. Mist
38. Burning
39. Out of Time
40. Knowing How
41. Fork in the road
42. Start
43. Nature’s Fury
44. At Peace
45. Heart Song
46. Reflection
47. Perfection
48. Everyday Magic
49. Umbrella
50. Party
51. Troubling Thoughts
52. Stirring of the Wind
53. Future
54. Health and Healing
55. Separation
56. Everything For You
57. Slow Down
58. Heartfelt Apology
59. Challenged
60. Exhaustion
61. Accuracy
62. Irregular Orbit
63. Cold Embrace
64. Frost
65. A Moment in Time
66. Dangerous Territory
67. Boundaries
68. Unsettling Revelations
69. Shattered
70. Bitter Silence
71. The True You
72. Pretense
73. Patience
74. Midnight
75. Shadows
76. Summer Haze
77. Memories
78. Change in the Weather
79. Illogical
80. Only Human
81. A Place to Belong
82. Advantage
83. Breakfast
84. Echoes
85. Falling
86. Picking up the Pieces
87. Gunshot
88. Possession
89. Twilight
90. Nowhere and Nothing
91. Answers
92. Innocence
93. Simplicity
94. Reality
95. Acceptance
96. Lesson
97. Enthusiasm
98. Game
99. Friendship
100. Endings

[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 425px; text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; text-trasform: lowercase][font=arial]introduction.

There was always a question running through everyone's head. A thought that, regardless of who you were, you came across at least once in your life. Who are you? And it wasn't a question that was meant to be answered in a word, it wasn't a question you were able to perceive that way. Because you knew at that point that you weren't asking yourself what your name was. You were asking yourself what made that name. Who was the person behind it.

Who was Ronan Drachen? To others, he didn't know what he was. He wasn't sure what people perceived him as; friend or foe, it didn't matter. Because he knew who he was, and he knew how he percieved himself. Who was Ronan Drachen to himself? A murderer. A killer. A broken toy ready to be discarded but somehow still being held in his place by his tormentor. Ronan Drachen was a burden. He was someone worthy of death, yet couldn't receive it.

But who was Ronan Drachen really? A broken soldier, suffering from memories of his past that never ceased to haunt him. He was a killer, yes, but he had done the things he had without a choice. He had been born into his lifestyle, not given a chance to be anything else. But he wasn't a murderer, despite how he saw himself. He wasn't a cold blooded monster out to quench his own bloodlust. When he acted out in aggression it wasn't because he wanted to hurt others, it was because he didn't want others to hurt him. When he killed memories flooded his mind, causing his muscles to painfully contract and nearly freeze him to the very spot he stood at the given moment. He didn't see this in himself, but no one who suffered from his disorder did. And the thing was - the world hadn't given him the chance to prove himself either, not until he had moved to Sunclan.

But post traumatic stress disorder was a hard demon to conquer. He felt safe in Sunclan, safer than he ever had, yet he was still constantly on edge, still waiting for someone to shove a blade down his throat. Still waiting to come back and lose himself and kill that very person. So, he had to leave for his sanity and the safety of the only few people he could consider friends. The only few people he had befriended and managed not to kill yet. Sure, he probably lost their trust yet again, but at least their deaths didn't rest on Ronan's conscience like so many others did. He had broken yet another promise, but this time it wasn't accompanied by blood. That was enough to give the canine something akin to comfort as he walked days upon end to reach the loner lands to hide himself away.

It was nostalgic to come back to this place, despite not knowing where he was exactly. Ronan had spent a great portion of his life here, scouring the lands and claiming small parcels of land as his own. Now, he was back into the warm embrace of the shadowy lands, back to a place where he knew he didn't have to start relationships and break them down. Somewhere where he hoped he could restore himself, heal himself. Of course Ronan didn't realize that by isolating himself from everyone he was only going to make it worse, yet he felt like it was a good idea at the time. So he had crossed the invisible border between the lands, stepping into yet another new chapter of his life, ready to accept whatever fate awaited him there, still thinking back to the familiar faces of his former clanmates in Sunclan.

He wondered what they were doing. He wondered if they were happy. But most of all, he wondered if they were better off without him. He hoped they were.