spiders - private ;; phantom needed

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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 425px; text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; text-trasform: lowercase][font=arial]A low, steadying breath escaped the hiisihound's parted jaws as he made his way past crowds of npcs, happily chatting away and completely ignoring him. It surprised him, actually. He still remembered a time where he was foreign, someone to be feared and to stay away from. A freak. He hadn't been around enough to care or study anyone's reaction to him, but it seemed like he was... being accepted.


    "It's also been good to see Kuroo, Ronan and Tasukete around more." Another sharp breath was sucked in by Ronan as he fought to get his emotions under control, four eyes flashing dangerously. Was it really, though? Freak. Was it ever really good to have something like him around? Murderer. He only ever made things worse. Traitor.


    Ronan pushed on, this time more forcefully and with rage boiling in the pit of his stomach, directed at no one else but himself. Once again he found himself eager to sink his teeth and claws into something again, yet he tried to force the primal instinct of killing down as he strode closer to the leader's den.


    "Phantom," he roughly called out as he finally made it to his destination, visibly shaking with both fear and rage, trying his best to control his voice but not quite doing it right. At least it hadn't come out as a snarl, despite being quite demanding.


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    [fancypost bgcolor=black; height: 60px; width: 450px;border-top: 4px double white; border-left: 4px double red; border-bottom: 4px double white; border-right: 4px double red][align=center][font=times new roman][size=14][glow=red,4,300]Phantom H-M-N[/glow][size=9pt]
    || Distant - Demonic - Unstable - Mute ||
    || Albino Wolf - Emperor of SunClan ||[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; bordercolor=black; borderwidth=1; min-height: 90px; width: 400px][justify][font=times new roman]
    She didn't see Ronan as a freak - she was a demon with a soul, it'd be something to see her try to talk. She'd be a hypocrite to judge him for killing - she had done the same. And traitor... she had her list of regrets too. And it was long enough that even now she questioned why she had been trusted with this Clan when she ruined everything she touched. By now she had left her mark on the Clan, and apart from her unpopular choice to keep Immy as her deputy, people didn't seem to think it was a bad one. The thing with Phantom was though, she stuck by what she did. She might apologize and regret it, but she didn't sugar coat it or pretend it didn't happen. With the exception of her relationship with Kaiser, nothing was swept under the rug. She wasn't an open book, but the pages were still there if you could open her.


    Hearing Ronan's voice and more importantly the tone, she sighed. She had already talked to Omorose, but it seemed Ronan was upset as well. Why? She didn't know, unless he'd wanted a promotion. Or perhaps she didn't know her cousin's friend well enough yet and this was how he always talked - with rage. Perhaps he had an idea or something. Only one way to find out. "Yes? What can I do for you?" As much as she gave orders and had others do things, in the end she wanted to serve her Clan, not the other way around.
    what is this muse you gave me can I keep it?


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    [font=times new roman][size=8][i]And all the kids cried out, "Please stop you're scaring me"

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    [font=times new roman][size=8][color=red][i]I can't help this awful energy, Goddamn right you should be scared of me[/fancypost]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 425px; text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; text-trasform: lowercase][font=arial]YES B ABE KEEP IT


    The only major difference between them would have been that fact that Ronan had been made to believe that he was those things. He was made to believe that he couldn't be anything else. Phantom had accepted all she had done, put it behind her, but Ronan's memories always stuck to him like burrs, painfully digging into his skin whenever he tried to do anything. Those three words always screamed inside of his head whenever he tried to do anything, and it simply wasn't possible anymore for him to think of himself as anything more. And he tried to so desperately to not stick by that, to forget it happened. Of course it didn't work, but he wanted to so badly. He wanted to forget everything that he had done when he had no control over himself.


    And as for his tone, it was really a mix of things. He wasn't here asking for promotions or anything, frankly he wasn't even here to offer up ideas. Ronan had no idea why he was really here and what he was doing. As Phantom arrived, Ronan's ice blue eyes snapped towards her and he took a deep, steadying breath, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Phantom, I... I'd like to make a request... I think," he started, before shuffling his paws awkwardly and glancing away with a glare at a nearby tree. Oh how he wanted to make it explode right about then.


    "I... I know that I'm not the best clanmate... I don't know anything about life in... life in a group that takes care of you like family. I know I'm distant, antisocial, and frankly would rather be somewhere else than here but... I want to try," he stated, sucking in a sharp breath before continuing. "I'm not social or anything, so don't expect me to go to parties or anything or host group activities. However, I want to help. I don't want to be someone who just leeches off of this clan, useless until the moment I finally die. I don't know how I can help, but I guess that's what I came here for," he continued, finally returning his gaze to Phantom. "I don't know how, but I'll try as long as it's something I'm able to do."


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