i can't get no satisfaction > private

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:500px][justify][size=9pt]The world around Blackjack was constricting him. He was always happy nowadays, sure; however, he had a nightmare a few nights ago that he simply could not rid his mind of. It scared him and he was so unsure of how to think of it anymore - admittedly, he'd been running the sequence of events through his mind for days now.


    "Dustdevil?" He called out for the Chief, his voice sounding rather sullen. "You told me to come to you if I ever needed anything. I know I barely know you, but... it'd be nice to get an outsider's opinion on this if you don't mind listening to a rant."

    [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; text-align: justify;]"Hm?"


    A light tone could be heard, followed somewhat swiftly by the sight of a large vulture making her way over. Looking particularly battered, though she did what she could in order to appear presentable. After all, there wasn't much that could be done regarding the large scar across the left side of her face. Not that the actual scar ever seemed too problematic to Dustdevil, unlike the problems it would bring her eyesight. Being partially blind was never something Dustdevil had liked the idea of, understandably. It would hinder her on the battlefield, which was definitely something the predator was not happy about. Still, the leader found a large amount of comfort in continuing to stay within her own body rather than taking on another form. It was something she had attempted, but overall it hadn't been as effortless an experience as it seemed to be for certain individuals.


    "Go for it, hun." Again, the southern accented individual would keep a light tone. Avoiding eye contact with the larger male, which seemed to be a bad habit beginning to settle with the vulture. Consistently working to hide her emotions meant that she'd have to avoid giving those around her methods of figuring out what it was that was going on within her mind. Eye contact was likely one of the easiest ways to figure out someone's emotions, so it was something that the woman would avoid. Though, perhaps she should have found it easier to trust someone who had made it reasonably clear that he did not have the intentions of harming her in any way. Still, if someone had wanted to it would be likely that they would have hidden it.

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:500px][justify][size=9pt]Blackjack pondered about what he would say to the leader. Would he start at the beginning? Yeah, he could do that. He could tell the long story of how he and Salixcloud had met. He could tell the long story of how he liked her. Of how she liked him back. Or about how they had gotten married and had children together. How she had nearly picked his brother over him. Maybe even about the time he left, then returned to find her nearly gone.


    No. He would speak three seemingly simple words. However, when put together, they would mean something entirely different.


    "I... miss her."


    The aviator trainee let out a large sigh. "Salixcloud was her name. I don't know if you knew her or anything. But... we were married. Or engaged anyways. We had kids together. They're back now, you know... Anarchistamerica, Newpaw, and Redyarn. And the other night... I had a dream about her. No, it was a nightmare... please help me Dustdevil. I'm scared. I love her... but I want to let her go. I don't know how."

    "I... miss her."


    "Oh..." The woman wasn't too sure as to how she felt over what she had just heard. It wasn't as though she knew Blackjack well enough to be heartbroken over the news, not at all. Still, perhaps it was shock? The idea that this man was somewhat willing to go to her to talk about loosing the love of his life. Perhaps she felt uncomfortable over the situation? Or perhaps, she had hid her emotions so frequently that it had become harder for her to understand them herself. No matter what it was, the woman would continue to listen to what was being said.


    "I didn't know her... I know yer kids, though." Yes, the children were somewhat familiar to her. Particularly after the somewhat recent situation with Newpaw. Poor child. "What do you think she'd want for ya, now?" It was a question that could either be the easiest thing he had ever been asked or the toughest. "Whatever it is, ya need to do that." It wasn't as simple as the leader made it out to be, but it was a start. "If it helps, I can help ya look after the kids... I don't want ta get in the way of anythin', though." Perhaps this was the worst way she could have handled the situation. Offering to take care of someone else's children. It wasn't even as though they were particularly young, but they still needed a figure in their life to help steer them in the right direction. Moral support and all of that other 'lovey dovey stuff'. It didn't seem as though Egretstar would fit the criteria well, though sometimes it was hard to tell until someone was in that situation.

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:500px][justify][size=9pt]Blackjack listened to what Egretstar had to say. He seemed to be staring off into space for a few minutes; a somewhat uncomfortable (on his end) silence fell over the pair. He bit his lip nervously. The Chief had just offered to take care of his children - was she implying something? Maybe she was referencing some sort of vacation time for the male? A bite to the tongue bit him off guard and he told himself to stop being so nervous around Egretstar.


    "I think I would like to..." He trailed off and began to bite on his lower lip a bit. What did he want to do? Whatever he had don't in this life he had done for those he loved. Blackjack supposed it was time to do something for himself now. What seemed like a million different possibilities flew threw the male's head at one time. It gave him a small headache, but he banished the thought of pain from his mind. "I would like to..." He said once more, before a frown crossed his maw.


    "I would like to leave. Not forever, but I think... visit another clan. For some time, probably no more than a week. I will come back right after. But I think I need to clear my mind of everything. If you could watch over Ana and Morning, that'd be... amazing. Not necessarily take care of them - they are old enough to do that. If they ask where I have gone, you can tell them the truth. I've gone to rid my mind of their mother. That's only if everything is okay with you as well." The lion looked expectantly at Egretstar. In all honesty, he kind of wished she wouldn't let him go. He did not want to leave Hawkclan for even a minute. He knew when something, anything was good for him.


    This would be good for him.


    (sorry, i've had 0 muse for private threads)

    [justify]OOC | That's a lot for no muse, don't worry about it!


    IC | Blackjack wanted a holiday? Whilst Egretstar would have likely supported the lion regularly, recent events had caused the vulture to be much more unhappy regarding the idea. After all, HawkClan was not in the best condition currently. Loosing a semi-high position, even just for a week, was less than ideal. Blackjack had to understand that, right? Still, Egretstar would keep the male's situation in mind. Blackjack wasn't in a good frame of mind, sticking around such a negative atmosphere wouldn't help that.


    "Hm..." For the first time during their conversation, the vulture would make eye contact with the lion. A single working ocular soon finding itself trained on the earth below her though. Thoughts still running through the female's mind as she attempted to formulate a response for the Aviator Trainee. "Where would you go?" It was a question more for the leader's sanity than anything. Understanding that there was a chance for Blackjack to refuse to answer her, which she guessed she would understand. "I don't know... Maybe?" Voice lowering in tone, Egretstar would look up once more.


    "I don't mind lookin' after 'em at all, I'm just... I don't know, worried? Were not in a great position, you know that..." Of course he would, it was as clear as anyone could make it. From StarClan's original threat to more recent disasters. Part of her still didn't want to admit that she felt as though she needed him here, though to an extent she had to. At least, on a professional level. "I could try an' talk to Peter or someone if you really think you should. We might be able to sort somethin' out for ya..."[/justify]