War & Love: Aphres

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    Penelope smiled up at him, saying, "and you have?" She smiled and shook her head, letting out a breath. "You haven't changed much since we were children. I... I am grateful for it."


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    #.:starowl:.


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    Ares almost snorted at that. Hadn't changed much? Oh, she didn't even know. "I have... more than you know. I'm colder, harsher, rude... and you may say that it is just like me, but truly it isn't. I wasn't this savage when we were younger."
    He wished he was the same. Maybe if he was... maybe she would love him.
    "I wish I was the same."
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    For those I hold dear, I will risk even my life...
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    [size=6pt]#verlorensdontlove[/size]

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    Aphrodite shook her head. "How so?" Her steps slowed, and they spun in a gentle circle. "I see none of that, not here. You're making me breakfast, me. After everything..." She shook her head, an almost somber smile on her face. Her eyes gazed up into his face, etched with more than just marks of war. "...then come back. Be a child with me, for today."


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    #.:starowl:.


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    A... child?
    How did he do that? How did he let go years of battle and pain to be a child with her again, at least for today? Ares didn't answer for a long time, but when he did he was laughing at her. "Children don't dance like teenagers," he teased, grinning down at her.
    Perhaps... for today, if only for today, he could be something he was not. He could be something that he wished he still was. He could be 'innocent' and 'foolish', at least for today.
    Then he laughed as he remembered something, smiling like a fool. "If we are pretending to be children for today, does that mean you are going to pretend to have a crush on me again?" he teased, lifting an eyebrow. After all, she had one of the biggest crushes on him when they were kids.
    Not like he had been much different... and it wasn't like that had changed any...
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    For those I hold dear, I will risk even my life...
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    [size=6pt]#verlorensdontlove[/size]

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    Aphrodite stared at him, eyes wide and face flushing, and then she narrowed her eyes. "We-Well!" She said, and reached up to pull his head down, kissing him right on the lips. She pulled back with a sense of triumph. "How's that?" She asked, even as her shade deepened. Hee grin turned into an unsure smile and then into her turning away, pulling back and burying her face in her hands. "Oh my gods, I'm so sorry, I wasn't- wasn't thinking that was awful of me, I'm sorry..."


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    #.:starowl:.


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    Ares stopped. He just... froze, right there. To say he wasn't expecting that wouldn't quite cut it.
    For a long while he was just silent, standing there with his hands at his sides, blinking. There was a stupid smile on the edges of his lips, as if that one thing was the best thing that had happened to him today. Even as Aphrodite prattled on about being sorry he felt like laughing.
    Then he looked down at her, and his smile widened as he moved her hands away and tipped her face up to his. "If you're sorry, then so am I." And he leaned in, kissing her properly, breathing her in as he held her in his arms. But even as he did so he felt as though this was wrong. He shouldn't have been so eager to kiss her like this.
    So he pulled away--albeit slowly--as if this was what he wanted... but not something he wanted to damage. He enjoyed their friendship... and this was so sudden.
    Ares stepped back, biting his lip as he leaned back against the counter and looked away from her. He hadn't meant to suddenly...
    She was just getting over Hephaestus. He couldn't do that to her. He hadn't meant to do that so suddenly. It just... it had seemed like a good moment, seeing as she had just done the same.
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    For those I hold dear, I will risk even my life...
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    [size=6pt]#verlorensdontlove[/size]

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    Aphrodite was blushing madly, looking up to Ares in surprise. Her hands were on his chest, and his kiss her left her breathelss and with the base of him tingling on her lips. She felt electrified, and why she couldn't place. The goddess stared up to him, struck speechless. "I..." She managed, watching as he stepped away, and then clasping her hands. "E-Er..." Aphrodite didn't know how to react. Why...why had he done that? Was that just playful revenge, or was it.. no, that couldn't be, could it? Her cheeks deepened in color.


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    #.:starowl:.


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    Oh no. His heart was beating too fast, too rapidly advancing as he bit his lip. What could he say? This was... this was so weird. He couldn't possibly do this to her. She had only recently broken up with Hephaestus, but it wasn't like he could lie to the Goddess of Love. She could look into his heart. She could see his emotions like they were a book ready to be opened and read front to back.
    Gods he felt like a fool. He should have just accepted the platonic kiss and left it at that. Dang it, this wasn't what he had wanted. He hadn't meant to make this situation awkward. It was already awkward enough!
    Ares blinked, looking up to her finally to see the shock on her face. Crap, he had broken her.
    "Uh... sorry, I just..." He reached up and scratched the back of his head. How could he explain that? How could he possibly explain that he had wanted to kiss her for so long now? That it had been the perfect opportunity because she had kissed him first?
    Gods, why was this so complicated?
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    [size=6pt]#verlorensdontlove[/size]

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    Aphrodite turned to look to him, peeking through her embarrassed fingers. "A-Icarus... Why did you...?" She tried, tentative, though. Because was ut proper to refer to him by his mortal name like this? She felt her knees go weak. How mortifying! The goddess of love didn't know what to do when kissed. "I'm-I'm sorry, this must be a stupid question..." He must have had a good reason, right? "But I can't- why did you kiss me..?"


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    #.:starowl:.


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    How could he possibly explain this to her? 'Oh, you know, I kissed you because I've always loved you and since we were joking around and you kissed me first, I just thought now was a good time to kiss you. Stupid, I know.'
    He shook his head. It was stupid. He couldn't say that. She would never get it.
    "Sorry I just..." he trailed off, and words didn't describe how foolish he felt. "I know you can't." And he moved away from her, making his way outside and putting his head in his hands. Gods, stupid! That was so stupid! How could he do that to her?! She had just broken up with Hephaestus! Idiot, idiot, idiot! She couldn't even if she wanted to. Not so soon.
    Thinking back on it, he could have asked her why she had kissed him, but that would be silly. She had kissed him because she had been reenacting her crush on him. He knew it wasn't real.
    And yet... it had felt so... so wonderful.
    Gods he was an idiot.
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    For those I hold dear, I will risk even my life...
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    [size=6pt]#verlorensdontlove[/size]

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    "Icarus- wait-" she followed him, hurrying to grab his hand, tough his arm. Aphrodite turned Ares to face her, reaching up to cup his cheek, make those amber eyes look at her. "Icky..." Her voice faltered, and she teied again. Aphrodite dropped her hand from his face but didn't remove from his hand. "Icky, I'm sorry. But please.." her voice cracked, "please don't leave."


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    #.:starowl:.


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    His breath caught in his throat at the feeling of her hand on his face, eyes widening slightly at the pressure. He almost stepped away from her until she dropped it, but that didn't help his wildly beating heart. Quickly, as if to discount the fact that his heart was beating an insane taboo in his chest, Ares forced himself to look at her steadily.
    Not leave? How could he not? It was embarrassing enough that she had--her hands were still on his.
    His amber eyes turned down to where they were on his own hands, staring at them a moment before gently pulling one away, hesitantly leaving the other while he dropped the other to his side. He couldn't touch her... couldn't reach up to touch her face. If he did, he was sure he would kiss her again. And he didn't wish to hurt her. Not like this.
    "I don't know what I'm doing anymore..." he muttered to himself, hating himself. I love her... but I had told myself that I had to let her go. I can't... I can't do this to her. I can't stay like this... "You can look into the hearts of every being. What do you see when you look into mine?"
    The question came as a shock to himself. He hadn't meant to ask that aloud.
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    Aphrodite stared at him. Was he asking to look into his heart? She tried not to in case of privacy, unless she absolutely wanted to check. Her hand touched his chest- not out of necessity, but because washed nature a connection, and assurance- and she opened her eyes. Aphrodite blinked and only skimmed the surface. She sucked in a breath. "... You have a broken heart.,"


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    He nodded slowly. "What else do you see? Not just the surface, Penelope. Look deeper than that. There's more."
    There was so much more. Just because he had a broken heart, that didn't mean that was all there was. That barely skimmed the surface. That was part of it... Yes, he did have a broken heart. He wouldn't deny that. But she had yet to see what he wanted her to.
    "Look past the brokenness," he whispered, lifting his hand to press hers closer. "There's much more than that. I give you permission to look. It is no secret to you."
    It would never be a secret to her. His heart was always open for viewing by Aphrodite. He would take the consequences that came from that decision.
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    Aphrodite frowned, touching his hand and then sought deeper as he requested. "...you love someone... Deeply. Care for her.. but she doesn't.. no, she loves another-" Aphrodite felt something twist inside her and she tore her gaze away. "Ares, this is... Unnatural, and to pry... I dont wish to see something I'm not meant to." Aphrodite knew the matters of a heart were not to be taken lightly. And this person he loved... If she found their identity, what would she even tell them. Aphrodite felt close to tears. Her recklessness had already slain thousands.


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    But he pulled her hand back, laying it against his chest once more. "I already told you, my heart is open to you. Penny, I need you to see this. Just... when you do, I want you to know that nothing has ever changed between us. Not really. I have and always will be your friend, no matter what you see. Please, just... just look harder. You will know it when you find it."
    He needed her to see it. He needed her to know. It was the answer to all of the questions she had been asking. And he needed her to see it.
    "Please... please, just look." He held her hand steady against his chest, stepping a little closer until they were barely inches from each other. "Please... for me."
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    Aphrodite was frightened, uncertain, but she nodded. "...for you, anything," she whispered, and looked. She looked, and it wws as if there was a light. He was not just showing her, letting her... Ares had practically cut out his heart and given it to her. "...ah-"Aphrodite cut herself off, peering. A small smile touched her lips. "You think her perfect. Beautiful as the rolling his of Greece and kind, sweet, gentle... She must be very lucky," Aphrodite whispered. "And she..." The goddess drew back with a gasp.


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    Ares said nothing this time, amber eyes watching her slowly... steadily. She kept going on, kept talking about herself, and he couldn't help but smile to himself.
    Until she withdrew from him. He didn't bother reaching out to catch her this time, instead turning his eyes on her and remaining where he was. If she had seen all of it... then she knew why he had kissed her. And if she knew that...
    Ares stepped away, leaning back against the balcony, hands gripping the railing as he looked down at his feet. He didn't expect forgiveness from her. How could she forgive him after that? How could she ever look at him the same? He had held that secret in for as long as he could remember, and he had never once told anyone. Eris knew because he was his brother, and Eros knew because he... well, he was Eros. But he had not told anyone else. Hephaestus guessed out of jealousy and spite, and it just so happened to be the reason why he and Aphrodite had ended up together. That along with other factors.
    But now, as she stared at him, he couldn't even look at her. He couldn't possibly... Not after everything that had just happened.
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    "...Are-wha-...." Her voice was no more than a whispered breath. She felt her heaet swirling a million different ways, love, pain, confusion, fear, embarrassment and it all resulted in a thud thud thud in her chest. "Ica... Icarus...?" She couldn't quite believe it. She couldn't understand. He loved..? He loved her. Romantically, like he... He had kissed her because he loved her. Aphrodite felt her face heat and turn a different color, but she needed to know. "Icarus...? Icarus, please, lo-look at me, please I need to hear..."


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    What did she want him to say? That what was in his heart was a lie or that what she had seen was the absolute truth? He didn't know how to respond.
    But at her request he turned his eyes up to her, amber eyes lost as soon as they reached hers. A depth he could never attain, that was what her eyes were. He could never quite reach them. And yet... yet at this moment, he almost seemed close enough to do so. Slowly, he moved off the railing, but he didn't move much closer than a foot or two away from her. If he wanted to he could reach out and take her in his arms, but... but he couldn't do that.
    "I'm sorry... for never telling you. You were happy, so... I let it be. I let it fester, watched it turn into hatred and jealousy as you two grew closer. It was worse when I was human... when you would spend your days endlessly with him. I never... I never thought..."
    He bit his lip, looking away again. He couldn't keep looking at her like that, as if everything was alright. Because it wasn't. It wasn't alright. He knew that. But what could he say? What could he say to her?
    He loved her... more than anything. But how did that make up for years of silence between them because of his jealousy?
    It didn't justify anything. Not a damn thing.
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