I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I DON'T FEAR YOU // private

blindingpaw. · Apr 17th 2016

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BLINDINGPAW AETERNUM COR LEONIS

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[justify][font=arial][size=8][color=black]Bli felt truly content than he had felt in quite some time. The cub was currently on the border of Sunclan, slowly weaving through the forest. This was where he had grown up, and despite being gone for so long, the areas and paths he had rested in and walked through were still imprinted upon his mind. The winged lion had spent more time in the woods than he had in camp, and it seemed as if this would still hold true. He had spent most of yesterday sleeping, and getting adjusted to being around so many others. It was still so weird to see so many creatures at once, let alone the species variety. Living out on his own for awhile had really done a number on the cub, and although he was somewhat enjoying his time back at Sunclan so far, going back to living as a loner was always an option. However, he didn't think he'd be going with this option anytime soon, as now that he was back, he was determined to stick around and support his clan.

The woods were peaceful, and always had been- a place of solace for the cub when he needed some time away from all of his problems. Bli could always trust the trees to be silent and allow him some company as he thought through things, as weird as that seemed. The cub knew that plants could not think, but they were still alive, and sometimes it was comforting to have something living with you, even if it was only plants. However, plants were not the only thing the forest had to offer; the place was filled with all sorts of wildlife, ranging from the occasional deer to the small beetles that seemed to be all over the place. It was, overall, one of Bli's favorite places in the world. His most favorite place in the world would have to be alongside Bitter, Starr, and Bas, but he didn't think that would ever be possible again.

The cub released a sigh from his jaws, stretching out a wing in front of him. He had better stop with the memories now, before it got to be too much to handle. Bli would swipe a tongue over his jaw, chocolate oculars shining with interest in the world around him. He didn't often show his emotions freely, rather preferring to keep them to himself. He felt as if it were more practical to keep your emotions in check. It gave your enemies less to work off of, and it was simply easier to keep yourself in check. It saved time and nosy questions from others. He had already had enough questions asked of him in the past day, most of them having been the same ones repeated, albeit with different phrasing. The winged lion would cast a glance down at his foot, which admittedly was starting to feel better. Probably not because of any medical attention it had received, he was fairly certain, but simply because he had allowed it time to rest. Bli was still trying to avoid using it too much, just in case, but he was fairly certain it was all healed. Well, as healed as it would ever get, since it had been twisted like that from birth.

The kid would shake out his pelt, ears swiveling this way and that. He probably wouldn't stay in one place long, simply wandering about the forest border. Wanderlust was part of his nature, even when it came to simply hanging around the border and forest. Bli begin to leisurely stroll beside the border, carefully weaving in and out of greenery. Today was looking like it would be a nice day, filled with some quality alone time between Bli and the forest, which is what he wished everyday could be like. As he made his way through the forest, Bli kept all of his senses open, hoping to spot something you didn't see everyday- or, even something that you do see everyday. He wasn't feeling particularly picky, and besides, this was his first real day back. As long as he saw some sort of wildlife, he would probably be satisfied.

//haha i got really museful until the end whoops
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inactive · Apr 17th 2016

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%]//hOW do you muse

Last time Madpaw had been to SunClan, the only part of it he’d seen was the beach town. More accurately, the ruined remains of what had once been the beach town. Each destroyed building he’d passed had reminded him more and more of the burnt wreckage of his own home awaiting him in ColouredClan. Perhaps it was selfish to think of himself when he was surrounded by what could have once housed who knows how many SunClanners, but he’d gone ahead and done it anyway.

His original intention had been to visit the beach. For all the biomes and diversity ColouredClan’s territory had, a beach simply wasn’t part of it. The majority of its territory was trees, trees, and more trees. There was that creepy place with the dandelions, too, but it definitely wasn’t a beach. And it had trees. There wasn’t a trace of sand to be found in ColouredClan, save for the stuff on the shore of the lake they built their camp around. What if there were special rocks he could only find on the beach? There was no way he was missing that. But, unfortunately, he’d gotten sidetracked. The apprentice had left SunClan’s territory as quickly as he had come.

Today, he had a house once more, and he was most definitely not going to the town again. Though things were better now (and ColouredClan still didn’t have a beach), he neither wanted nor needed the memories to resurface. Besides, that was only one part of SunClan’s territory, and Madpaw wouldn’t be satisfied until he’d seen every inch of it. No – today, he was going farther. He was going to see new things!

…It was kind of weird that SunClan had a forest, too. So much for new things. Getting angry about it was impossible, though, while he was padding through it. Unlike the town, this part of SunClan smelled nice, like flowers and spring and so many prey animals Madpaw didn’t have a hope of catching. It was the kind of place he could lose himself in for hours, searching for treasure (and squirrels) in the trees. The apprentice paused, closing his eyes; the third one, as always, stayed wide open.

The only fault he could find with the forest was how quiet it was. Life in the mountains with his family had been noisy; ColouredClan somehow managed to be even louder, which was part of the reason he’d adjusted to his new home so quickly. Madpaw thrived when he was with others, talking, laughing, throwing food or mud at each other; though he wasn’t particularly graceful in conversation, and he still occasionally struggled with Clan life and its rules, the chaos and chatter fueled him. In truth, he loathed the silence, yet he went on most of his adventures alone. This one was no exception.

So, when he heard footsteps, it was only natural for him to investigate. Madpaw did not fear strangers, regardless of size, shape, or scent; neither did he know about the history between SunClan and his own Clan. What did he have to worry about? He followed the sound, stopping only when he tripped over a root and landed directly on his already-injured muzzle. Shaking off the dirt, the tiny feline pushed himself up. More by chance than anything, when he lifted his head, he spotted a stranger walking along – not just any kind of stranger, it was a winged lion! As in, you know, a winged lion.

He couldn’t stop himself. Madpaw stumbled forward, ignoring the renewed pain in his face. ”Hey! Uh, hi!” There was some noise. Much better.

INTERACTION △
physically super easy | mentally super easy | no kill or severe/permanent injury | pm for capture | attack in #AA99AA | will attack in underlined bold unless told otherwise
• very little combat experience
• will not capture or torture opponents
• character bond (leaderpaw, undiscovered)

blindingpaw. · Apr 18th 2016

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BLINDINGPAW AETERNUM COR LEONIS

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[justify]Bli pricked his ears, twisting his head around. The cub thought he had heard something- a squirrel, maybe, or even a bird. Pausing, he would take a moment to scan the undergrowth, trying to find a sign of some sort of living creature other than himself. When he saw nothing, however, Bli was ready to turn back. The male hesitated for a moment though, wings shifting with a soft rustle. Maybe whatever it was out there would show itself. An impractical thought, yes, but maybe, just maybe, the animal would come out if it didn't feel threatened. He wasn't really an expert on animal behavior, but the male was going to assume that a lion of any age would appear threatening to woodland creatures, let alone one with wings. Of course, it wasn't like he was much of a threat anyways, with his twisted leg. Although, maybe he could use teleportation to hunt... He'd have to pace himself, sure, but that actually didn't seem like such a bad idea.

The kid had decided that whatever was out there wasn't coming back, regardless of whether or not he was still and quiet enough, and turned back back to continue along on his way. Of course, that was not to be the last of the sounds of rustling. Bli would whip back around, eyes darting back and forth as he heard the sound once more. It was louder, this time, and getting louder. The male was now able to determine that the sound was certainly not a small woodland creature, but something bigger. He couldn't exactly make out the size from the noises, but it was better to be safe than sorry, right? He would crouch down slightly, making sure his wings were tucked tightly to his sides. If it came down to a fight, he didn't need the appendages getting in the way. He was as ready as he could be, he supposed. The sound of some animal slipped through leaves and branches grew steadily louder, until Bli felt it could get no louder without the mystery creature revealing themselves.

Bli tensed, jumping slightly as a small white body suddenly appeared, flying right out of the bushes. The cub was at attention as soon as he recovered from his moment of shock, assessing the situation and the mysterious white feline who had so suddenly appeared. He looked rather small, probably still a kit, and it appeared as if he had tripped over something. Probably a branch or something. Well, no matter what it was that he had tripped over, this stranger didn't look like he posed much of a threat to Bli. At least, as long as he had no powers. As the white feline looked up at him, shock rippled throughout his pelt, although he did his best to quickly cover it up. This stranger had three eyes! It was rather startling, and arguably more startling because he had met someone else with three eyes. It had been a long, long time ago, but he still remember it.

She had been a tiger, and her name had started with an A, he was pretty sure. She had lived in Sunclan around the time he was born, and he had found the mystical being somewhat intriguing. The tigress had helped him with his new-found power of teleportation, setting him on the path of learning how to cope with the headaches and how to make sure he didn't use it too often. Other than that, however, he didn't really remember much else about her. Bli blinked slowly, eyes narrowing at the smaller being. This stranger wasn't at all like the tigress had been all those months ago. They were different species, and he was fairly certain the tigress had been rather graceful when she moved. In fact, from the limited amount of information he had at hand, the two seemed like total opposites, having only an eye in common with each other.

As the male suddenly chirped out a greeting, Bli would simply stand there for a moment, staring, and trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. Some random, three-eyed domestic had just come out of nowhere, startled him, and now was offering a casual greeting? He had known that returning to a clan would be different, but he honestly could say he hadn't expected something like this to happen. He remained silent for another moment, trying to collect his thoughts and gather a few words. "Who are you?" he would begin, ignoring the other's greeting for the moment. He wasn't in the mood for socializing, especially not after acting surprised in front of a total stranger. The winged male's gaze remained locked on the domestic's third eye, not really caring if he seemed rude. Had he been born with the eye, Bli wondered? That would certainly make sense, although Bli himself hadn't been born with his wings. They had grown in, which had been quite the interesting yet slow process.

Shaking his head ever so slightly, he would remain in his partially crouched position, although his gaze would soften a little bit now that he knew he wasn't being stalked by some creature. "And what are you doing out here?" Bli would add. He hadn't noticed it until just now, but the younger male had a scent about him that was distinctly unsunclan-like. So, either the odd male just smelled weird, which wouldn't really surprise him, or he was from a different clan. The lion was assuming different clan, as although everyone he had met carried different scents, he had never met someone with a scent so much different than any others from the same clan.
//rip me i should be sleeping not making museful posts wops ;-;
tbh this is like the first time in forever i've had good muse
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inactive · Apr 24th 2016

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify][size=8]//go to bed oh gosh
i'm not even close to matching your muse rip this is so rushed + also retro to infection

Typically, when approaching and greeting strangers, Madpaw did have a tendency to be overenthusiastic – or, to put it bluntly, too loud. It was rarely his intention to startle anyone, but it just kept happening. An excited Madpaw was a Madpaw with even less volume control than usual, whether he was at home, on foreign territories, or somewhere between the two. Shouting his hellos at everyone he saw was childish, but it was a habit by this point, and there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it. He’d done it in the mountains; of course he’d keep in up after starting his life in the Clans. In ColouredClan and elsewhere, there were more strangers, more opportunities, several more reasons for all the noise.

Still, it did catch him by surprise when the stranger jumped. A frown tugged at his mouth; in a second, it was gone.

Now the SunClanner was actually looking at him; Madpaw took this opportunity to scan Blindingpaw. Aside from the wings tucked against the lion’s body (which he still had to fight not to stare at, because, seriously, there was more to this guy than wings), there was very little about Bli that jumped out at Mad…Except, no, wait. Something else was different. Two eyes drifted downward to focus on Bli’s leg. Was it twisted? Immediately, Madpaw’s brain flooded with questions, each one pushing in an attempt to be the first one to make it from his head to his mouth. Was it really twisted? How had it gotten twisted? What was it like to have a twisted leg? Did it hurt a lot? Had it hurt a lot?

For now, at least, the three-eyed feline managed to refrain from asking any of those. He liked to think he had some impulse control, especially when it came to things like this. But he’d have to say something eventually, however rude it might be to bring it up. Madpaw was just too curious to leave it alone entirely. Forcing himself to look away from the leg, he searched for Blindingpaw’s eyes, far above him. Man, lions were big. Even younger lions. Even younger lions while they were crouching. As he watched, he spotted the flicker of shock, tiny as it was, that ran through Bli; Mad took a tiny step back, trying to figure out what it meant, hints of that frown back on his face. There was nothing for Blindingpaw to be startled by now, unless – oh. Right.

Back home, there wasn’t a single creature Madpaw knew of with three eyes. In that area, he was the resident weirdo, and, boy, was he proud of it. It wasn’t everything he wanted – it wasn’t the ability to conjure things or grow flowers or bending the elements to his will – but it was something special. Like his mother’s burning paws. Like Lucien’s tails and wings. When the eye had grown in, rather painfully and completely out of the blue, Madpaw had been too busy grieving over Theodosia to notice any stares he may have been getting; by the time he’d returned to normal, his Clanmates were treating the eye as if it was ordinary. Which was…which was okay, he’d decided once he’d noticed. He would much rather his Clanmates not pay special attention to the eye than stare at him as if he belonged in a circus or a research lab. But it had reached the point where he forgot he had three eyes quite often, and it was only things like this that reminded him. There was no chance he was the only cat in the world with this specific mutation, but he saw far fewer eyes than he did wings and horns.

Suddenly, the shock made perfect sense. The ColouredClanner’s expression turned sheepish. He’s still staring. He’s still staring. In most cases, the creatures on the border would apologize for staring, or at least look away quickly, as if that would stop him from noticing; Bli was doing neither. Actually, quite the opposite was happening. Was that the you-belong-in-a-lab stare, or something better? With a quiet cough, Madpaw finally broke eye contact; well, his normal eyes did. The third eye had not, was not, and likely wasn’t about to look away any time soon. But, by a miracle, he managed to stop himself from speaking up.

Until Blindingpaw replied. It struck Madpaw how funny this situation was; normally, he was the one with the who-are-yous and what-are-you-doings, both home and away. Was this funny enough to laugh at? Of course not. His mouth curved into a smile anyway as he replied, ”Madpaw,” a little more subdued now. He had Bli’s attention (his eye had Bli’s attention); what was the point in shouting again? ”I’m Madpaw, from ColouredClan, and I’m here ‘cause I wanted to explore. I’ve been here before, but – but only to the beach, which is sorta…” Oh, stars, he was babbling. It was happening. Smile unwavering despite this realization, he shrugged. ”…Sorta in ruins? I don’t know if it’s still like that, I haven’t been over there today. Anyway, uh, exploring. Adventuring. Maybe finding some cool rocks. Are there cool rocks here?” No, no, no, no getting sidetracked by rocks, that wasn't tolerable at a time like this. "Who are you, then?" Madpaw asked, tilting his head.

[spoiler=MOBILE TAGS][size=8]INJURIES & EVENTS △
• deep clawmarks on muzzle (swollen, infected) + getting over a fever

APPEARANCE △
tiny domestic cat | white solid + three light blue eyes + claw scarring on muzzle + lion mark on shoulder | third eye never blinks | reference

blindingpaw. · Apr 26th 2016

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BLINDINGPAW AETERNUM COR LEONIS

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[justify]The lion swished his tail in an impatient manner, ready for an answer. He had been gone from the place for a little while, but Bli didn't think strangers just showing up around the place was a very normal thing. Unless they were bringing news or visiting someone, but people usually announced that kind of stuff right off the bat. He wasn't usually this impatient, but today was a different story. There was something about this stranger, probably the third eye, that made the cub want to know who he was, and right away. He blinked slowly, unsure of why seeing Madpaw had triggered this sort of odd urgency. Maybe it gave him a sense of home, made him feel a bit more into place. Maybe remembering the only other three-eyed being he had seen reminded him of his former time in Sunclan, when he still knew people. Maybe, just maybe, the strange sight had awakening a sort of homesickness in him.

Or, maybe it was all in his imagination, and he just wanted this odd feline to hurry up, even when he was taking an acceptable amount of time to answer the question.

Bli took note that the Colouredclanner was studying him as well- it was only natural to size up a potential enemy, wasn't it?- though retained little care. Let the kid look him over; he didn't care. He didn't care what others thought of him, him and his twisted leg. It was his own leg, and his own problem. It wasn't something that could be fixed, so why make a big fuss over it when there was so much else they could be doing instead? He didn't care if anyone looked at him funny, even if it was only for a moment. It was simply instinct and nature to be attracted to and interested in physical deformities and mutations, though it was up to individuals to decide whether that interest was out of pity, disgust, or anything else.

In another circumstance, perhaps, he might have been mildly amused by Madpaw's interest in his twisted appendage, but this was certainly not one of his more light-hearted moments. For the moment, at least, he was all business. Bli would shift once more, taking a bit of pressure off of his leg. There hadn't been much to begin with, but he couldn't be too careful. His leg could be a bit of a chore sometimes, but honestly, his wings were worse, especially while they had still been growing in. His back had ached for weeks before there were any signs that it was anything but back problems. Even after the stumps of his wings had sprouted up from his shoulders, it had still continued to pain him. The pair of wings no longer hurt, but in his opinion, they were rather useless. They weren't strong enough to carry his weight yet, and even if they were, he still didn't have a clue on how to actually fly. And, it wasn't as if having a pair of wings made him any more special- it seemed like a lot of others sported a pair of wings as well. He wasn't really sure why he had wings either. Was it genetics, or simply random chance? The male truly had no idea which it could be. A lot of things in this world seemed like random chance, but happened way too often to simply be random.

Bli would blink a couple times, refocusing on Madpaw. His thoughts had gotten a bit off-track there for a bit, but it was time to get back to business. The lion cub didn't notice the Colouredclanner's look, and hardly even realized he was still staring. As the domestic feline broke eye-contact with a small cough, Bli shifted his eyes slightly as well, although not for too long. It was rude to stare, he knew, but honestly the kid had only cared for some manners, not all. He didn't really see staring as a bad thing, and as such he considered himself free to stare. He had just begun to swish his tail once more when the other apprentice replied. He listened silently, taking in the male's name. Madpaw. It didn't really interest him, but it did seem fairly simple, which was something he liked in a name- straight, and to the point. However, at the mention of the word Colouredclan, he didn't know what to do for a moment.

The male stiffened, straightening, and a scowl washed over his features. Colouredclan? What was a Colouredclanner even doing here? The last time he had been here, the two clans had been bitter enemies. That must have changed, probably been bumped up to neutrals or something, but the kid had never really fancied neutrals before- either you were with us, or against. As Madpaw continued speaking, Bli didn't hear what he said. No, he had stopped paying attention, only focusing on that one word- Colouredclan. He had never visited the clan before, and never really expected to visit in either, other than in a raid. Now, there was a Colouredclanner right in front of him, doing who knows what. Distaste was rather evident on his face, and he didn't bother hiding it in the least. There was no need to keep his feelings for the other clan to himself, even if it was a bad idea to have a meltdown in front of a stranger. He eyed the three-eyed domestic once more, almost expecting him to spring at him any moment.

He had grown up with a violent image of Colouredclan, a Colouredclan where Permafrost was the leader. The tyrant had thrown his mother out, exiling her from the clan, and his father had followed after her not much longer. A bit of time passed, and soon he and his siblings were on the way. However, before they could be born, their father had disappeared off the face of the earth to who knows where. The only idea of Colouredclan he had ever had was one of a clan who exiled young children for standing up against bullies.

The thought of a Colouredclanner being right here, in front of him, and acting so chipper was not pleasing in the least to him. Digging his front claws into the dirt, the feline would attempt to regain a bit of control over himself. The clan was no longer enemies with Sunclan, which meant that getting into a fight with a Colouredclanner was out of the question. His mother had been exiled from her home clan over a terrible injustice- he wasn't about to be exiled because he couldn't keep his stupid temper under control.

The kid would release a breath, finally choosing to focus on Madpaw's words. The younger male might have something important to say. Unfortunately, the only thing he managed to catch was something about rocks, and the other asking for his name. A moment of confliction passed through Bli, although he hesitated only for a moment. "Blindingpaw," he spoke through slightly gritted teeth. He almost asked once more what Madpaw was going here, but stopped himself only because he realized that he had already asked the question and simply ignored the answer.

It seemed today was going to be interesting, although it didn't appear as if it were going to be interesting in a good way.

//neVER I REFUSE TO SLEEP
my muse keeps getting better and better this never happens it's so wonderful
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inactive · May 1st 2016

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify][size=8]//S L E EP PLEASE
says ephe, posting at almost 11:00 pm
i'm trying so hard to match you rip

He watched the lion grow impatient as he talked, half-wishing he could think of a way to shut himself up for a second. Flooding others with ideas and explanations was his way of making them comfortable, he supposed; really, how intimidating was a cat who couldn’t even speak properly? That was how he’d always seen it. Plus, it gave strangers an opportunity; if he said something they were interested in, who knew, maybe he’d find himself with an adventuring buddy. If it helped on the border, it would surely help here.

Then Blindingpaw went stiff, any traces of softness vanishing even faster than they’d appeared. It took all of a second for Mad to decide he preferred the curious staring more.

In response, Madpaw’s face took on a shade of confusion, a shade of distress. What? The leg thing wasn’t what had done it; the reaction was too delayed for that. Was it something he’d said, then? Was it about the rocks? Why would anyone have something about rocks? Or beaches? Blindingpaw lived in the place with the beaches, Mad could probably rule that one out…Maybe it was his name, then. The mention of exploring (but then, who hated exploring that much? Madpaw could understand thinking it was weird or risky, but glaring at someone because they liked it was a little extreme)? Or was it the last thing –

ColouredClan. It made the most sense of everything he’d said. Some creatures in this world cared a heck of a lot about history and alliances. Though Mad didn’t count himself among them, he had to admit some knowledge of his Clan’s past would have been helpful, especially now. It was embarrassing, actually, when important figures from the past would show up, and he was the only one who had to ask for a name. He hadn’t needed all that information in the mountains, though. There were no Clans. There were no alliances, enemies, anything. There were just family members and miles upon miles of free territory to roam across, with the only rule being something along the lines of “be home for dinnertime.”

Honestly, Yuri didn’t seem much for neutrality. So many of the Clans Madpaw had considered full of potential friends were now supposed to be ColouredClan’s bitter enemies. He had gone to a party in Gael Village a handful of days before their alliance change, which was a shame; it had been a nice party, they’d given out goodie bags. Why was his Clan supposed to hate them now? ColouredClan was an antiClan, though, and antiClans were made for fighting. That was how they lived, to hear them say it. BloodClan, ShadowClan, two of the groups Yuri wanted to keep close – they were tough. BloodClan, especially, was ruthless enough to keep corpses stacked on their borders. Madpaw supposed he understood, but…

…No, no, he really didn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn’t made himself switch just like that. He couldn’t hate anyone he didn’t know, whether they were from SunClan or Gael Village or the Exiles, even. Innocent until proven guilty, he’d always thought. Madpaw could fight, just a little. But could he kill? Could he torture? His stomach turned at the thought. Capturing was as far as he could ever go, and even then, he could see himself sneaking food to whoever he’d taken. Having a nice conversation with them, maybe. Helping them escape. Perhaps it was because he was a child, too naïve to see the danger, too young to be jaded; one day, it would change, and he’d be as strong and ruthless as the ideal antiClanner.

But he liked to think it was something more permanent, when he thought about it at all.

If that was it – if the mention of ColouredClan was why Blindingpaw was so agitated – there was nothing Madpaw could do to change it. And it hurt. Being seen as disgusting because of his eye was one thing; it hurt, too, but he could get over it eventually. He thought the eye was cool, and so did a lot of creatures he’d asked. And the eye wasn’t a choice. It was cool, but he hadn’t gotten out of his nest one day with I’m gonna grow a super-cool eye on my forehead today! on his mind. Where his loyalty lay was completely different.

He had so many friends in ColouredClan. His best friend in the universe. His most trusted medic (though, really, he trusted them all to make sure he didn’t get himself killed doing something stupid). His mentor. Freckles, Curtainpaw, Derrick, Afterkit. None of them had ever done anything wrong, as far as he knew; he was proud to call them his Clanmates, to call ColouredClan his second home, equal to the first, if not even better. It was a choice he’d made when he’d stumbled onto their border in the middle of winter. Whether he realized the significance of it didn’t matter. Now, it was where he belonged. Home base. Safety. Shelter. Where each face was familiar and nobody got angry at him for forgetting their name.

A frown was yet again trying to form on his face, but the tiny feline fought against it with all his might. No frowning. Frowning was bad, especially when Bli didn’t seem too happy with him as it was. ”Blindingpaw?” Madpaw didn’t like being disliked; honestly, he wasn’t sure if there was anyone who did, though they were probably out there somewhere. And, despite his best efforts, he was clearly getting off on the wrong foot with this guy. He was not going to forget Blindingpaw’s name. No. Never. He’d ask someone to write it down for him and read it to him at regular intervals if he needed to. Maybe that was a little extreme, but… ”Blindingpaw, okay. Can I call you Bli? That’s a pretty cool nickname. I mean, it’s okay if I can’t, but I’m gonna – yeah.” What were the chances of him forgetting after that?

His other question had gone unanswered. Madpaw fell silent as he tried to decide: take the safe route and ask about rocks, or get straight to the thing he really wanted to say? Did he want Bli to get angry (angrier?) at him? Did he want a fight? He couldn’t deny it was a possibility, though he was trying his best to pretend it couldn’t get that bad. ”I’m gonna guess you’re from SunClan? You smell like it – in a good way, I mean, SunClan smells really good, as long as you’re not by the beach. That just smells different.” Oh, great. That wasn’t either of the things he’d planned on saying. ”Anyway, it’s great to meet you. I…”

…Need to stop talking? I need to stop talking. ”I don’t – I’m not gonna hurt anyone.” Saying this to a lion, of all creatures, when he was a puny little apprentice with next to no combat experience felt surreal. Meeting Blindingpaw’s eyes once more, he said, ”I dunno what I said, um…but, really, I’m just here to explore, maybe find some nice rocks, if you know where they are?” A peace offering, in a way. What was the harm in rocks? Okay, dumb question, you could do a lot of bad stuff with rocks, but he couldn’t – wasn’t going to take it back now. And he waited, wondering if there was anything else he could do at this point. None of his meetings had ever started like this. It was worth saving. It had to be worth saving.

On second thought, getting sidetracked by rocks could be the best course of action.

[spoiler=MOBILE TAGS][size=8]INJURIES & EVENTS △
• recovering from lucien's "death"

APPEARANCE △
tiny domestic cat | white solid + three light blue eyes + claw scarring on muzzle + lion mark on shoulder | third eye never blinks | reference

blindingpaw. · May 15th 2016

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BLINDINGPAW AETERNUM COR LEONIS

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[justify]Bli tended to be quiet and more aloof than most, although he could speak to others just fine, albeit a bit stiff and awkward at times. One of the many drawbacks of being himself, it seemed, although he wouldn't want to change that about him. It seemed there were plenty of creatures out there who either couldn't talk to others at all, or, more commonly, were quite skilled in verbal communication. The lion was glad that he was not at either of those poles, as it was nice to be different at times. Being different was what made people who they were, something the male knew firsthand. And, he was sure Madpaw must know something about being different as well, considering his less than common appearance. Not that it was bad in any way, although it could be viewed that way.

Bli watched as the smaller feline's facial expression changed, and turned his head away for a moment to make sure he could keep his composure. Of course the only Colouredclanner he had ever met in person would have no idea about Bli's past. Not that he really could have expected a stranger to know more about him than even his clanmates did, although it did still seem a bit ironic to the male. He held back a bitter laugh, instead focusing his gaze back towards Madpaw, having calmed down enough. But, it really did seem almost an insult, the for the white feline to be what seemed so obviously unknowing to Bli. But, then again, that was just how he felt. He was sure others might have had vastly different opinions on the situation, but he really didn't care at the moment, or really many moments, in fact.

In all honesty, Bli knew little to nothing about his clan's past- in fact, the only information he had regarding Colouredclan and Sunclan was what his mother had told him, and while he certainly wouldn't deny her as a source of proof, it would have been nice to know a bit more on the two clan's history with each other. However, this was certainly not a priority, and besides, he didn't know anybody in the clan he trusted enough yet to ask for some sort of history lesson, and anyways, he didn't need to know the full story to know he couldn't trust Colouredclanners, right? He could just take someone else's word for it, though ordinarily Bli most certainly wouldn't trust a single person telling him about a whole other group of creatures. Maybe it was his deep-seated anger clouding his vision, or even the fact that it was so deep-seated, but the lion still held his prejudice against the other clan, despite not knowing other possibly important details.

Sometimes Bli wished things were simpler, and grudges didn't demand to be held. Maybe he wasn't wishing for total peace, and for everyone to be happy with each other, but at least for them to be able to move on. Heaven knows the lion cub probably wouldn't be moving on anytime soon.

It had been like this for as far as Bli could remember, ever since the first story he and his siblings had been told, the first time they had ever truly pondered over their father and their very existence. He did sometimes wish for a bit of peace, yes, a rest from his and everyone else's grudges, but at other times he let the anger take hold, letting it push him forwards, make him stronger. It's better to fight for a cause than to simply fight, yes? This mindset of his had never changed, despite living in a few different places, a few different lifestyles. He'd been born Sunclan, switched over to being a loner more than once, and had even briefly lived in Sylvanclan and Riverclan. An interesting life so far, yes, and yet nothing changed the fact that he was still angry with Colouredclan for something that had happened in the distant past. One day he was sure he would be forced to make amends and peace, but for now he was content to hang onto his vehemence and distaste.

Speaking of clans Bli disliked, there was another clan right below Colouredclan. Not a close second, but in second place nonetheless. Bloodclan also had a special place in his heart reserved for hate, although the reasoning behind his dislike of the clan was a bit more founded. They had taken over Sunclan some time ago, and Bli had never forgotten that time. Held the leader captive, and then the Bloodclanners picked fights with anyone and everyone, which almost always resulted in the Bloodclanner winning. They even took to picking on the members of the clan less orientated towards battle, initiating the fight themselves. Bli hadn't been one to try and aggravate them unnecessarily, and when one of the Bloodclanners had prodded and provoked him, he hadn't been able to finish the fight. He had recovered just fine, hadn't even received any scars, although he had received a lasting memory of the very much one-sided battle, even if he didn't think of it often. It only proved the fact that he couldn't fight, especially against full-grown hell hounds.

Now, what was the cub's opinion on all this? Well, he wasn't a great fighter, which had already been established, but that certainly didn't mean he disapproved of violence in general. In fact, Bli had rather violent thoughts at times, and honestly one of his goals in life was to advance in the area of fighting. He also didn't mind capture, no matter the age. But, torture? No, the apprentice did not agree with this tactic at all, unless absolutely needed. It didn't seem right to put anyone through something like that, to scar them forever. You might as well just kill them, honestly. That's what he would prefer himself, at least. Of course, it seemed there were too many beings out there overly fond of torture, and whatever their motives behind choosing to partake in such a heinous act, Bli did not want to have to meet any of them on anything but somewhat civil terms. He couldn't imagine how torture would feel, as he had only been roughed up a bit in the past, and it had technically been during a fight, so it wasn't even close to counting as torture.

He had strong ideas and emphasis placed on morality for someone of his age, especially living in a place where torture was allowed, albeit not actively encouraged. Of course, it was all a matter of loyalty- to his clan, not his clanmates.

Bli would always be loyal to the group, not the individuals who made up the groups. That was the only reason he was even here today, honestly. If he had been loyal to people, then he would have still been in Sylvanclan, possibly, or more likely just a loner. He had come back to Sunclan, a place where he was alone, with no friends or even acquaintances, out of sheer patriotic loyalty to Sunclan. No matter what sort of place the clan became, it would always be home to Bli. Without his birth clan, the lion cub honestly had nothing else in his life. No friends or family left to speak of as far as he knew, and without anything positive left in his life, his hate and anger would simply take over. And, if he had nothing left to live for, Bli would let himself go willingly- what else would there be to do? Sunclan was the cub's entire life now, for better or for worse.

As Madpaw began to speak once more, he listened a bit more carefully this time, determined to hear the domestic feline all the way through his words instead of turning him out. At the mention of his nickname, his ears would flick in slight surprise. How had this kid known his nickname? Or, rather, guessed it so easily? Sure, it wasn't hard to come up with, but it was a little bit unsettling, to say the least. "Most everyone does." he would speak out, after what seemed like an eternity. He remained silent once more after that, awaiting Madpaw's next dialogue.

It was only right before it was almost too late that he realized he could be a bit clearer with his choice of words. Just because he was quite didn't mean he had to talk only a small bit. "Most everyone calls me Bli, I mean." he added on. He fell back into his soundless reverie once more, listening to the other apprentice babble on about Sunclan scent. Bli was fairly certain that the small male knew he was from Sunclan, but his first phrase had been a question, so he figured it probably deserved an answer. "Yeah, I'm from Sunclan." he would speak, voice still a bit clipped, although not nearly as bad as his last outburst. Maybe he'd be able to control himself for the rest of the conversation, however long it might last.

At Madpaw's next statement, the lion could have chuckled. Bli could have let down his stony exterior and had a bit of a good laugh at the idea of someone as small as Madpaw hurting another creature. However, he didn't, though whether it was out of politeness or simply not feeling in the mood for a bit of humor was unknown. However, the words did set off a bit of a spark inside of Bli's head. If the kid was obviously physically small, did that mean he had powers of some sort, or maybe some sort of special technique? It was hopefully not obvious that this was a possibility, as he had hardly entertained the idea until now. His suspicions were once again raised, although he didn't really have a good reason. It just seemed odd when he thought about it, that was all.

Maybe he just wasn't meant to think about it.

He had gotten a bit lost in thought, and only just managed to pry himself from his mind in order to listen to Madpaw ask about rocks. Wait, rocks? Was that really what the white cat wanted to know about? That seemed... pretty dull, and uninteresting, although it really wasn't his place to throw everyone's hobbies into question. "Well, there's some rocks... just about everywhere. They're rocks, all over the place. I mean, there's a few more than normal somewhere off that way," he would pause a moment to point in the general direction of the beach, "but I'm sure you can find some just about anywhere." the lion cub had caught the first part of his question, about exploring, but was choosing not to acknowledge that part. Partially because he didn't want to potentially give anything away to another clan, and partially because he didn't want to give away his secret places to anyone at all, not even other Sunclanners.
// AAAAAAA I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE
this is really really late but i've been sort of busy with school? but mostly just procrastination and a lack of motivation
i've only got 2 more days of actual school work left until summer, and i'll really be able to keep bli active and get him around sunclan more since he's somewhat inactive atm
but yeah apologies for the lateness!! i should be able to keep up with this thread a lot better in the future
~~also guess who's posting this at 3 in the morning who sleeps what~~
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