now he's so devoid of color | pafp | he don't know what it means

This is an archived version of FeralFront. While you can surf through all the content that was ever created on FeralFront, no new content can be created.
If you'd like some free FeralFront memorabilia to look back on fondly, see this thread from Dynamo (if this message is still here, we still have memorabilia): https://feralfront.com/thread/2669184-free-feralfront-memorabilia/.

    [Center][size=8][font=andale mono]plot - so, you have a group of four very different teenagers, but they are all pretty good friends. now, they all have their issues and different lives, but when they all collide, what can happen?


    note - we will each play one girl & one boy if that's all right ☺ & i know the plot & character descriptions suck, but i promise my ic writing is better. so please try to write adequately & be ADVANCED (semi if low muse. please be aware that i can ask you to delete your post if i feel you don't meet these requirements), because to be honest it bothers me when people who claim they are, are not and then they simply drop out or the type of people who have like the best writing in the world end up never replying after like the first post. sorry if i sound b.tchy, but it just happens much too often. & extra side note, please don't just ignore important details. thank you! also, sorry if the first post is sucky at all, thank you if you acknowledge this note, sorry for the lengthiness! p.s. you don't have to strictly follow the fc's, it's just a suggestion i put.


    characters -
    THE QUATERBACK (my guy)
    fc - nate garner
    ashton mcqueen -
    he's six foot four, nineteen, having been held back a year because of his former alcohol problems that almost got him kicked off the football team at his position of the starring quaterback; and is either very serious or all play & no work. he's also best friends with the rebel.


    THE REBEL (your guy)
    fc - sean o'pry
    [name here] -
    six foot three, eighteen, and branded as the bada.s & "flirt" of the school, also the best friend of the athlete. he is also very protective of his twin sister [the wallflower] and his girlfriend, who is the party girl.


    THE PARTY GIRL (my girl)
    fc - sophia mitchell
    kitty mcqueen -
    she's five foot two, eighteen, a proficient but anorexic ballerina and an extreme perfectionist. she is known to be fierce and wild, also being an avid party goer who has a lot of secrets, which she usually tells to the wallflower, and is closely watched by her brother ash. she's dating the rebel.


    THE WALLFLOWER (your girl)
    fc - taylor hill
    [name here]
    she's five foot seven, eighteen, she comes off as reserved to anyone who she's not friends with, but has no trouble letting loose. she is also really into film and writing. she's dating the athlete and is the twin sister of the rebel and best friend of the party girl.


    // bump ☺☺
    [mergedate]1459306962[/mergedate]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=pink; border: none; width: 440px; height: 50px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: justify;color: black;width: 400px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: 4px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 20px; padding: 11px;]KITTY ARABELLA MCQUEEN[/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=white; border: none; width: 440px; height: 175px; margin-top: -1px;]

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 3px double white; height: 140px; width: 120px; background:url(http://s30.postimg.org/7svdsl1b5/image.jpg) center; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: -2px;][/fancypost] [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 270px; height: 150px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: black; font-family: verdana; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; padding: 1px;]getting up in the morning was never one of my favorite things, now that i think of it, the whole daily grind of the day never really appealed to me. then again today was my 18th birthday and homecoming was next week, so i had that to look forward to, i guess. but i got up nonetheless, almost cringing at how messy my hair was once i saw my reflection in the mirror, and just cringing at myself in general. i did that a lot. sure, lots of people told me that i was pretty and what not, but it only takes one person, a few words, to make you believe that you are not. i brushed out my golden tangled hair and curled it, then proceeded to do my makeup, humming softly as i did so.




    i went to my closet and put on a strapless floral top with a black cardigan over it and black leggings paired with some nude pumps, so what if my feet get cold? i like them. i was always cold anyways. besides, at 5'2" i could use the height.




    once i was ready i then got a pack of cigarettes out of my drawer and my lighter and lit one. oh but let's not forget the half full bottle of pretty pills on my dresser, i picked that up and took some before hiding it in my closet just in case my dad found it. okay fine, maybe i did have a slight problem with prescription pills but i didn't like to admit what i already knew, it wasn't a pride thing, more of a coming to terms with kind of thing.




    i then weighed myself like i always did with the scale beside my bed. [i]84lbs.

    i was anorexic, at least that's what the doctor's said. ashton was really the only one who knew, unless others knew but hadn't said anything. i had promised ash that i would fully follow through with eating right and they all believed me, god knows why, but they did, and he hadn't taken notice of the fact that i haven't eaten in a week. nobody ever does take notice of such blatant things apparently. but ash had jax to worry about, and he was trying to get his proposal idea into play, i shouldn't bother him with my issues anyways.




    honestly i had been going down a bad path since my mom died and since my relationship with a rather bad guy named brett, he hit me a lot. we broke up like almost two years ago but it still had really messed me up. the funny part is that--well, nobody knew what he did to me, i was too afraid to say it.




    but i started to get a little well um, how do i put this? wild to put it lightly but also became obsessed with perfection, and not just within ballet, but within myself. it was like i was trying to get back at the world for all the injustices, but if you sat me down and asked me about which injustices i was talking about, i wouldn't know what to say.




    ash walked in on me then, probably going to tell me i needed to hurry up. [b]"hey happy birthday-- oh c'mon, kitty--"

    he started to say but stopped and sighed as he saw me weighing myself. "you've got to stop weighing yourself everyday, i thought you were getting better," he said, his slight gruff but smooth french accent coming through. as if anyone could even take me seriously with a name like kitty, pretty sure it stopped being cute at around 10. then it just became relentless meowing by classmates up until highschool. how sweet.




    "you thought," i muttered under my breath in response to ash, but then said, completely ignoring his weight comment, "thanks for acknowledging my birthday...now, let's go." my own soft and stronger french accent visible.




    "you're welcome. now, at least put out your cigarette before we leave, i'd rather not have my car smell like smoke." he told me and i complied, putting my cigarette out, although i found it funny since he smoked in his car all the time. but it was whatever, i usually didn't say what i wanted to.




    i went downstairs and followed ash to his white jeep rubicon and sat shotgun, turning on the radio, between the bars by elliott smith coming on, it was an old song but i loved it. and as ash drove he smirked at me. he pulled into the school parking lot and we both got out and walked into the jailhouse they called a learning environment, and as we walked down the halls people stared at us like they always did. we were known pretty well around the school i guess, me for dating the labeled rebel of the school, also my erratic and perfectionist behavior plus my record with parties also gained me recognition. and ash was known simply because everyone was either intimidated by him, worshipped him, or wanted to be him. but the girls, or most of them at least knew not to flirt with him because he was oh so devoted to [insert name] who also was my best friend, their relationship was so like something out of the movies sometimes that it made me want to puke. but even though she was dating my brother, i confided in that girl with everything, well mostly everything, and she did the same. what made everything so much more ironic is that i had started dating her brother, so i don't really know where exactly i was going with this. i did know one thing though--he had become the only other guy besides ash that i actually trusted.




    "i'm going to go find [insert name] i'll be back before 1st period starts," he murmured.




    "okay, have fun with that." i said with a small smile and went to my locker without another word.




    i was whispering my locker combination to myself as i twisted the knob and opened it up. everything was nice and neat, quite organized for a high school locker. my blue eyes veered towards the little magnetic whiteboard i had and i erased what was written yesterday, grabbed my pastel pink expo marker and began discretely writing. i wrote things down in an order like this;
    84lbs.
    6 days.
    swan lake recital next thursday.
    homecoming shopping this weekend.
    kate quinn's party at nine tonight.
    health homework due.
    ap calc homework due.
    ap history essay due monday.
    ash's football game tomorrow.




    [/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=#A9E2F3; border: none; width: 440px; height: 50px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: justify;color: black;width: 400px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: 4px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 20px; padding: 11px;][i][b]ASHTON JAMES MCQUEEN[/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=white; border: none; width: 440px; height: 175px; margin-top: -1px;]

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 3px double white; height: 140px; width: 120px; background:url(http://s12.postimg.org/5fj9x0y19/image.jpg) center; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: -2px;][/fancypost] [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 270px; height: 150px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: black; font-family: verdana; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; padding: 1px;]i had already been up for 15 minutes, finishing up a history assignment i hadn't done. unlike kitty who was taking all ap classes and most likely would rather get hit by a car than miss an assignment, i was the kind of person who usually got a standing ovation if i showed up with my homework done and not copied. i wasn't as dumb as some people might think i am, i just wasn't all for applying myself, i can't and am not going to try and waltz through high school because of my athletic ability anymore.




    i was actually trying to apply myself because i didn't want to repeat senior year but also because i realized that it mattered. i really cleaned myself up this year, i stopped getting wasted every night, didn't smoke as much, committed 100% to my relationship with [insert name], and got my own apartment that i spent half my time at.




    i got it because the apartment was originally my dad's during the short duration of time my parents were separated. he kept paying the rent because it was supposed to be my graduation gift, i suppose. but i got it now since well...that didn't happen, and no, my dad didn't pay the rent anymore, only helped out here and there. he was a good man, i don't really think he deserves all the things kitty & i hide from him, but that's life, sometimes guilt is necessary.




    and sometimes, so is change. a lot of my complete 180 had to do with [insert name] and [insert name] and of course, kitty always was there to give me that extra shove. but i realized i had to step up, i [i]wanted

    to step up. especially for my son, jax. yeah, you heard me right. it was a drunken one night stand two years ago with this cheerleader named grace culver. it was a huge mistake. i mean, sure, she really is a nice girl and i know i screwed her over in the beginning and i do feel rather terrible for it. i just wasn't in a good place and i didn't want to have a relationship with her, something we're both okay with, we both found someone. you know, i missed the first year of my son's life due to digging such a hole for myself i almost couldn't get out of. at first grace refused to let me see him, but i proved that i would make up for my absence and i have. he is a really great kid, he's even taken a real liking to [the wallflower] i don't blame him. and just when i thought everything was looking up, jax got diagnosed with leukemia about two months ago and is now in the hospital. so that has been a bit rough to go through. no two year old should have to experience that. although apparently the chemo is working well so i'm hoping the odds are in our favor (no pun intended).




    anyways, considering i was just sitting on the couch in sweatpants i decided i should probably get dressed, so i did, putting on my usual attire of a white t-shirt, brown leather jacket, jeans, and converse. that was kind of my signature look, and with the tattoos i had going up my forearm it looked rather cool in some people's opinions. i noticed then that if we didn't leave soon we'd be late, so i went upstairs to get kitty and i told her happy birthday before seeing that she was weighing herself again while smoking a cigarette. she worried me a lot, you could see in her eyes that she was losing herself. but i wasn't going to try to control her, no, just advise her. i probably should've done something, but i think i might be in denial.




    but we left then and i heard that song, it was the kind of song that made you feel a twinge of nostalgia almost or just a longing to relive some days. and as we walked in and down the hall, i looked at everyone and they looked at me, some giving high fives, some looking away, and some staring. i don't know why. it was somewhat strange but interesting, the strong reactions people had towards other people.




    i told kitty i was going to go find [insert name] and [insert name] and she said okay and headed for her locker.




    honestly i could say that i was unquestionably committed to [insert name], i never really felt that way completely about someone before, at all actually. it was weird but nice all the same. i was considering proposing to her at graduation, i had it all planned out, however i just had no idea how the hell i was supposed to execute that plan.

    [/fancypost][align=center][size=7pt][color=white]lightsy loves you

    The post was edited 1 time, last by Notifier ().

    [fancypost bordercolor=transparent; bgcolor=transparent; width: 200px; font-family: arial; color: silver; text-align: justify;][sub]i'd really like to join, but can i change the faceclaims?

    [align=center]

    liam apollo garcia-williams


    andrea (andy) artemis garcia-williams

    The post was edited 1 time, last by electra (heart) ().

    omg i love the little forms! thanks for the extra insight on your characters :-)


    also, i just gotta say, so great to find another marina lover on here!

    [fancypost bordercolor=transparent; bgcolor=transparent; width: 200px; font-family: arial; color: silver; text-align: justify;][sub]i love marina, she is the queen. i'm done with both forms, by the way. also, andy and liam both moved out and currently live together in a small apartment.

    she is, i cannot tell you how many times i've spent screaming teen idle & starring role in my room lmao & yay, love the forms :-)

    [fancypost bordercolor=transparent; bgcolor=transparent; width: 200px; font-family: arial; color: silver; text-align: justify;][sub]ok i'll have my first post up tomorrow before 8:30 (i live in the pacific northwest if you need time zone)

    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=#ADB3FF; border: 5px solid white; width: 440px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 5px solid white; height: 80px; width: 60px; background:url(https://40.media.tumblr.com/35…93doyZBP1tyt1j4o1_500.png) center; border-radius: 300px; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: 170px;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: center;color: white;width: 440px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -2px; margin-top:30px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 30px; padding: 1px;]LIAM&&SO WHATEVER![/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=transparent;border: none; width: 440px; margin-top: 2px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 440px; height:200px; overflow:auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: white; font-family: verdana; margin-left: -30px; margin-top: 10px;]my alarm is probably my least favorite thing in the entire world. andy tells me that it's just psychological conditioning and if i changed the sound of my alarm, i wouldn't hate it so much but we both know that's bullsht, i'm always going to hate mornings. as the clock begins to scream out it's call to rise, i throw my heavy comforter off my body and sit up, shoving the heels of my hands into my eye sockets and furiously rubbing the sleep away. i twist my torso and slam my hand down on the alarm clock on my bedside table, silencing it.


    i stand from my low to the floor bed and saunter over to my dresser. the full length mirror on the back of my door shows a sleep deprived, nearly naked teenage boy who really needs to do his hair. my fingers latch onto the small knobs of the dresser and pull the top drawer open. i have no way of organizing my clothes, and i kinda just shove them down as far as i can into the dresser, so it takes me a minute to find a suitable outfit. i settle on a pair of semi-skinny jeans (black and ripped at the knees), a white t shirt (like that of a 50s greaser), and a red and black plaid flannel tied around my waist. i finish the outfit with my usual black combat boots before opening the narrow door to my bedroom and swiftly exiting.


    andy and i have a system worked out: she get's up fifteen minutes earlier than me and does her hair and make up and stuff so by the time i'm done getting dressed, she's done with the bathroom. i enter the small room and open the cupboard behind the mirror. i grab my brush and hair gel, taking a few minutes to spike up my hair.


    i leave the bathroom and re-enter my room. i collect my school things and shove them all down into my leather strapped backpack, leaving my room and setting my backpack down next to the bar. i make myself coffee and some toast, and leave a matching breakfast out for andy. i enter my room for the last time, this time grabbing my bubbler, lighter and grinder, then go out to our small living room. i open the window and smoke a few bowls while drinking my coffee. judging by the smell, andy's probably doing the same.


    i collect my weed accessories and place them, carefully, into my backpack. moments after, andy comes out of her room red-eyed and sleepy. she scarfs down the food i had made her in large bites, and gives me a good morning smile.


    "[b]you made me breakfast!" she says, through a mouthful of toast.


    "you should eat it, not spit it all over me." i instruct. she flips me off, and quickly finishes her food. she proceeds to place both her dishes and mine in the dishwasher and we both leave our small apartment, side by side. i lead her to my beloved van and we both get in. the drive to school includes singing at the top of our lungs to 90s pop-punk bands and insulting each other.


    when we approach our school, i drop her off near the doors before going to find a parking space. when i finally find one, i quickly park and speed walk to the front doors. i find my locker and shove my backpack inside. i grab my english book, my notebook, and my pencil case, and head towards first period english. writing was a class i could go to stoned and not worry about my grades. but then again, i don't really worry about my grades anyway. [/fancypost][/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=#ADFFCB; border: 5px solid white; width: 440px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 5px solid white; height: 80px; width: 60px; background:url(http://41.media.tumblr.com/299…khdlQuvQ1smq0oro7_500.jpg) center; border-radius: 300px; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: 170px;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: center;color: white;width: 440px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -2px; margin-top:30px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 30px; padding: 1px;][i]ANDY&&YOU RUN MY MIND BOY![/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=transparent;border: none; width: 440px; margin-top: 2px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 440px; height:200px; overflow:auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: white; font-family: verdana; margin-left: -30px; margin-top: 10px;]i've always been a morning person, and while liam thinks i get up around fifteen minutes before him, i'm usually up by 5:30 and i'm ready to go by 6, even though we don't actually leave the apartment until 7:15. today is no acception, as i sit in my room at 6:15, listening to the record player liam got me last year and writing.


    this is my favorite time of day. i used to be terrified of being alone with myself, but over the past year, i
    i've accepted it and now i quite enjoy it. a skinny swisher in between my pointer and middle fingers and a pen in my other hand, i've been working on a short story for the past fifteen minutes. kid cudi's 'the moon man' is the album turning on the record player, and i'm unconsciously muttering most of the lyrics. i tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear and i take another hit, blowing the smoke out the window.


    my routine repeats for another half hour or so, write, hit, repeat, write, hit, repeat, write, hit repeat. once i find myself to be a good level of stoned, i shove my notebook in my back and dropping my swisher's roach on the windowsill. i had packed my school bag, a dark brown leather book bag, the night before, but i check one more time to make sure i have everything. once i'm sure, i stand to my feet and check my appearance in the full body mirror on the back of my door, a matching one to my twin. we hate to be 'those twins' but some things are just cheaper when you buy two of the same kind.


    my outfit consists of a [i]hello nasty t shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans, ripped at the knees, and solid black converse. i run a hand through my platinum blonde hair and make a mental note to make an appointment to get my roots done.


    i am happy to discover liam's left a cup of creamed coffee and a plate of toast and jam out for me, just the way i like it. my brother acts like a dck most of the time, but i'm one of the few people who know his true, caring self. i scarf down the breakfast, my munchies getting the best of me, and clean up both sets of our dishes. ever since i was little, i could never stand the sight of anything messy. i have to clean it.


    once liam drops me off in front of the school, i run inside, looking forward to getting to see ash. though he left my apartment late last night and it had only been eight hours at most since we last saw each other, but i already missed him. i know he'll be at my locker eventually, so i head that way.


    ooc // this good? also i made their instagrams because i was bored.[/fancypost][/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][size=7pt]lightsy loves you







    [align=center]

    liam's instagram

    liam's instagram


    andy's instagram

    The post was edited 1 time, last by electra (heart) ().

    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=pink; border: none; width: 440px; height: 50px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: justify;color: black;width: 400px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: 4px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 20px; padding: 11px;]KITTY ARABELLA MCQUEEN[/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=white; border: none; width: 440px; height: 175px; margin-top: -1px;]

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 3px double white; height: 140px; width: 120px; background:url(http://s30.postimg.org/7svdsl1b5/image.jpg) center; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: -2px;][/fancypost] [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 270px; height: 150px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: black; font-family: verdana; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; padding: 1px;]// yeah, it's great! & woah, the character instagrams are pretty cool, nice job. btw, apologies in advance for the fact that i'm extremely dramatic pretty early on lmao




    after collecting what i needed from my locker and double checking my board, i headed to ap psych. i loved that class, unlike ash who couldn't stand it and only took it because he thought it would look good on his transcript. funny how i did half of his homework for him. compared to my brother, my boyfriend, and even my best friend i was slightly an overachieving perfectionist but at the same time was an absolute wild wreck. what a contradiction.




    considering liam hadn't come to my locker i was guessing that he went to english class stoned. so i simply decided to go ahead to class, taking my seat in the back and waiting for everyone else to file in.




    eventually ash and andy came in, taking their respective seats next to each other. coincidentally all three of us shared the same first period. unfortunately liam couldn't get so lucky.




    when the bell rang to start class mrs. monroe immediately began talking about how we were now going to start our mental health unit since we had just completed our statistics unit, which i must say, involved too much math for my liking.




    however, i was kind of worried about the mental health unit, some of these issues weren't exactly things i'd want my best friend and my brother to get more knowledge about, i'd rather they just stay in the bliss of ignorance.




    how much you want to bet that the first thing we go over is---




    just like that, i was proven right as mrs. monroe said we were going to start discussing anorexia nervosa today and the signs and symptoms of it and the dangers it presents.




    i couldn't help but visibly tense up in my seat. come on, act natural and they won't suspect a thing. they probably don't even notice any of it, i'm just being paranoid.




    although as mrs. monroe began to delve deeper, going over the signs, the complications and effects it can have, reasonings behind it, mortality rates, etc. ash would not stop looking over at me and i was about ready to go over there and sucker punch him but then mrs. monroe handed out a worksheet that only went further into the details and information. oh great....i better be able to get myself out of this.




    usually i would have went straight for completing the worksheet, but this time i didn't, seemingly too keen on observing anything that could give me away. quite pathetic, the amount i care about this, i mean.




    soon enough the bell to dismiss class rang and i quickly gathered my purse and walked out, ash quick on my heels and andy in pursuit. i stood by the doorway of liam's english class, which was a few doors down, waiting for him to come out, ignoring ash as he stared at me. when liam appeared i gave him a usual smile, kissing him, my lips most likely tasting faintly of cigarettes and mints.




    i didn't get to stay in my own world of ignorance for long though of ash grabbed my wrist, spinning me around to face him to which i tugged my hand out of his grip and tried to push him away. why does he have to start crap like this here? especially in front of liam and andy.




    [b]"can i help you?"

    i asked bluntly, my tone having a bite to it this time.




    "you have an eating disorder, don't you? everything she described in there matched up perfectly with some of your behaviors, kitty." he told me simply.




    "what the hell? you're ridiculous. what does showing what you perceive as symptoms mean anything? it's not like people who have a few symptoms of cancer actually have it. do you go around asking people if they have that too? you can't just accuse people of having illnesses, ashton." i said, trying to seem as calm and collected as i could. i can get out of this.




    "nobody just drops like twenty pounds in a month without doing something drastic. do you take me for an idiot? sure, i didn't really notice or take the time to analyze everything, but after hearing all that, the pieces fit together." ash told me and i was starting to get nervous. i really should give him more credit.




    "i haven't even lost that much weight. i already told you, dance intensives and swan lake rehearsals were starting so i had been working out more, stop making such a big deal out of it. we're going to be late to class, stop making far fetched claims and let it go." i said, clinging into any shred i had of keeping the rouse up.




    "i'm not stupid, kitty! when you start putting the puzzle together, it all makes sense. you lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time, you make excuses to refuse food and get out of dinner all the time. you won't smoke at all with us, yet you're okay getting blackout drunk and chainsmoking cigarettes? that makes no sense. you excuse yourself to the bathroom after eating every single time. you go to the gym every sunday for a ridiculous amount of hours. you're always checking food labels....i could go on. now you look me in the eyes and tell me that doesn't sound like an eating disorder. i'm not going to stand here while you starve yourself to death!" his voice raising in volume as emotions increased.




    i had just about had it, i was beyond pissed and i was just flat out done. "oh really? if you're so f.cking observant then how was i able to keep this up for almost a year? why did you never do anything if you had actually noticed all that? how was i able to go six days so far without eating? how was brett able to violate me in ways i don't ever want to say? how was i able to puke up anything i ate without anyone ever hearing a thing? how was i able to take a handful of caffeine pills among other things every day? i don't know, ash, but from the looks of it you've done a lot of just standing around so go ahead, say that sh.t to me again." i said, clearly livid, ending up lapsing into french after my little spiel, only every speaking that when i was really pissed, and i was. i ended up throwing my purse at him, telling him to f.ck off before turning around and getting out of there as fast as i could, going straight out the school doors, to the parking lot, to ash's car, opened the backdoor and got in, laying there with my knees against my chest and cried so hard i thought it might kill me. this was turning out to be some birthday.

    [/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=#A9E2F3; border: none; width: 440px; height: 50px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: justify;color: black;width: 400px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: 4px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 20px; padding: 11px;][i]ASHTON JAMES MCQUEEN[/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=white; border: none; width: 440px; height: 175px; margin-top: -1px;]

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 3px double white; height: 140px; width: 120px; background:url(http://s12.postimg.org/5fj9x0y19/image.jpg) center; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: -2px;][/fancypost] [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 270px; height: 150px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: black; font-family: verdana; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; padding: 1px;]after walking through the halls i decided to go to andy's locker, knowing she would most likely be there. my assumption was correct as i walked up to her, leaning against the locker next to hers, a usual smirk upon my features.




    [b]"oh hey, it's ted cruz, the zodiac killer, so nice to meet you."

    i joked, honestly getting such a kick out of all the zodiac memes on twitter. what? they fueled my fire.




    "okay but andy, important question. would you like to go after school to visit jax at the hospital?" i asked, wondering if she would want to come with me as she usually did. "also, apparently grace's boyfriend tony thinks it would be a great idea to take jax out of the hospital for the weekend to go get ice cream. yes, take the cancer patient with the crap immune system to a busy ice cream place. i swear that guy is a f.cking idiot." i said, sighing at the stupidity. even grace knew it was an awful idea. tony is grace's new boyfriend, nice guy and all, just an utter idiot. you can't fix stupid.




    "also, apparently kitty is trying to ditch her birthday celebration. she thinks a friday night party is enough. i say that we actually do something other than get wasted and try constructing a bong out of a deck of cards, but she's all against it. what do you say? should we try and surprise her?" i asked, raising an eyebrow. truly i didn't understand kitty's diversion to birthday's. she was 18 now, we had to mark the milestone in a proper way, whatever that may be.




    once the warning bell rang, andy and i headed to our first class that we shared with kitty: ap psychology. i didn't mind it, it could be an interesting class, the teacher just hated me, either that or she hated the fact that kitty did most of my homework.




    upon arriving and taking our seats mrs. monroe didn't waste a single second, she got right into our next unit away from statistics, which i actually liked, i'll admit, i was more of a math person. apparently we were now diving into the topic of mental and health and today's lecture would be focused on anorexia, causing kitty to tense up. how interesting.




    i paid more attention this time around, indulging and processing what mrs. monroe told us and i started connecting the dots, occasionally glancing at kitty before being interrupted by a worksheet, which only peaked my interest, and i ended up reading it, for once, shocker. it was all starting to make sense, at least the justifications, not really the depths though for kitty's behavior.




    when the dismissal bell rang, kitty hurriedly left, heading to go wait for liam, and i followed hot in pursuit, andy right behind me.




    i waited until liam was out with her and they had their greeting moment and i took that opportunity to swoop in, grabbing kitty by the wrist and spun her around to face me, which she didn't take very well, giving me a scathing response.




    i called her out, i called her out on all of it. i wasn't playing around here. she tried making a petty excuse to no avail, as i just tore that explanation up, making my point very clear. however, she ended up making hers absolutely crystal, leaving me jawslacked, not even reaching to pick up her purse. all i could do was stand frozen and stare as she ran out, my guess was to my car, maybe to go have a panic attack, who knows? i wanted to go after her but i was practically speechless. [i]well, sh.t

    [/fancypost][align=center][size=7pt]lightsy loves you

    [align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0px; background:url(http://40.media.tumblr.com/tum…bxdU7YB1qf4gzoo1_1280.jpg); border-radius:300px; width:120px; height:120px; background-position:center][/fancypost]
    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; letter-spacing:-4px; margin-top:-10px][align=center][size=22pt][font=georgia][b]ELECTRA [color=white]<3[/fancypost]
    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:220px; margin-top:-20px][hr][hr][justify][sub]wow i'm so sad i wrote out my entire reply and then my wifi cut out as i clicked preview. it might be a day or so until i have my reply up. super sorry.[/fancypost][align=center]
    [size=6pt]★ trek | edited by electra 3/31/16

    [align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0px; background:url(http://40.media.tumblr.com/tum…bxdU7YB1qf4gzoo1_1280.jpg); border-radius:300px; width:120px; height:120px; background-position:center][/fancypost]
    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; letter-spacing:-4px; margin-top:-10px][align=center][size=22pt][font=georgia][b]ELECTRA [color=white]<3[/fancypost]
    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:220px; margin-top:-20px][hr][hr][justify][sub]hey, so after i wrote like fifteen paragraphs each and my wifi cuts out, my muse for andy is like completely gone. is it okay is she is just kind of a side character and this thread is mostly about liam and kitty? i know this is probably super dissapointing, but i really am just better at playing guys. i have more practice with them.[/fancypost][align=center]
    [size=6pt]★ trek

    [align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0px; background:url(http://40.media.tumblr.com/tum…bxdU7YB1qf4gzoo1_1280.jpg); border-radius:300px; width:120px; height:120px; background-position:center][/fancypost]
    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; letter-spacing:-4px; margin-top:-10px][align=center][size=22pt][font=georgia][b]ELECTRA [color=white]<3[/fancypost]
    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:220px; margin-top:-20px][hr][hr][justify][sub]ok cool! i'll deffinitly have my post up by the end of the day : )[/fancypost][align=center]
    [size=6pt]★ trek

    [align=center]

    [img width=180]https://41.media.tumblr.com/4b…uxiqurs01sg1xtyo1_250.jpg[/img] [img width=180]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pini…896ca3871257533402d05.jpg[/img]


    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width:360px; color: white; font-size:20pt;][shadow=black,left]LIAM GARCIA

    [fancypost bgcolor=black; border: none; width: 25px; height: 45px; border-radius: 100px;][fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; width: 25px; height: 45px; font-family: ar carter; font-size: 27pt; color: white; line-height: 26pt; border-radius: 100px; margin-left: -20px;]★[/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; border-left: 3px black dotted; width: 0px; height: 212px; margin-left: 29px;][/fancypost]    		 [fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; width: 360px; height: 50px; padding: 10px; overflow: hidden; margin-left: -7px;][fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; width: 360px; height: 50px; padding: 0px; padding-right: 27px; overflow: auto][fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; width: 360px; min-height: 50px; padding: 0px; font-size: 10px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: white; font-family: verdana]
    [b]liam

    is a senior at aurthur high. his main traits are his charm and creativity. he strongly enjoys smoking weed and drawing. he prefers he/him pronouns and is bisexual. he is currently wearing this and is leaving english class to meet kitty mcqueen.
    [/fancypost][/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; width: 360px; height: 200px; padding: 10px; overflow: hidden; margin-left: -7px;][fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; width: 360px; height: 200px; padding: 0px; padding-right: 27px; overflow: auto][fancypost bgcolor=; border: none; width: 360px; min-height: 200px; padding: 0px; font-size: 10px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: white; font-family: verdana]
    ooc } about what time of year does this take place? also sorry for the delay in the post




    liam's mind drifted easily. both him and his sister had been diagnosed with adhd early in his life, and usually smoking helped the young man focus but today his mind was everywhere. his long digits tapped against the hard surface of his notebook. english was one of the few classes he actually enjoyed, the teacher being at least semi understanding about the mental illness that kept liam always on the edge of his seat.




    he ran a hand through his hair, dragging it onto the back of his neck. he glanced at the clock for what felt like the billionth time that period, reading 8:42. he collects his few pencils and pens he had gotten out the past hour and shoved them into the small pouch that he kept them in. he then stacked the pouch, his notebook and his english text book on top of each other. he let his gaze drift to the trees just outside the window he had seated himself next to.




    liam, in his intoxicated state, quickly found himself in a trance-like state. he was thinking about kitty, like he usually was. her first period, psych, was just down the hall and most days she met him outside his classroom. then he starts thinking about how he should've met her at her locker, but it was so hard to find a parking space this morning, but he should've gone anyway because that's what a good boyfriend should do and-




    the shrill school bell is harsh against liam's stoned ears, and is met with a sharp twinge of pain. liam squints at his sudden discomfort, but quickly stands to his feet, eager to see his girlfriend. he makes his way out of the crowded classroom seeing kitty's smiling face as soon as the other bodies clear. the tall boy smiles widely, and plants a kiss upon her full lips.




    kissing kitty is always conflicting for liam. he absolutely loved the minty taste that trailed along her lips but the undertones of cigarettes disgusted him. liam used to smoke too, but he quit after his and andy's older brother died of oxygen depravation when his throat closed up due to cigarettes. he had been trying to get kitty to quit since they got togther, to no prevail.




    when kitty starts arguing with her brother, liam at first thinks nothing of it, assuming it's just sibling quarrel, but then the big, bolded word floats out in front of his face. [i]anorexia

    . the thought that his girlfriend was starving herself nearly made liam sick. ash obviously strikes a particularly sore nerve with kitty because she turns and runs out towards the parking lot. liam knows where she's going.




    "dude, you can't just say shit like that. you gotta be sensitive, next time, okay?" liam suggests, like it's obvious before running after his girlfriend. it takes him no time to find the white jeep owned by his friend, and he knows that's where kitty will be. kitty had crumpled up in the back seat, a sight that saddened liam to his core. he opened the door and slid into the car next to her, pulling her into his arms and leaning her head onto his chest. his hand planted on her thighs, making small circles.




    "no. i'm not going to let your birthday be like this. you deserve better." liam said, flatly. he got out of the car and scooped his girlfriend up, bridal style. the bell had already rung but liam didn't care. he carried kitty to his car, which was parked a few spaces over. the front seat is all one bench, and he takes advantage of that, sliding in as close to kitty as possible. he shoved his keys into the ignition and turned on the car. he tuned the radio to the softest music he could find and turned it on low, before pulling out of the parking lot. he knew exactly where to go.




    he drove to this little hidden lake that was always empty. he left kitty in the front seat while he went around to the back and opened the van's double doors. he had had the two back seats removed and he nailed two, big bean bags to the back just for situations like this. he went back to the front of the van and took a few swishers, a mason jar of weed and a grinder from the glove compartment and a blanket from the first seat in the back, placing them around the bean bag. finally, he went back for kitty, carrying her around the side of the van and placing her, gently on one of the bean bags.




    liam sat in the one next to her, cuddling close and warping his long arms around her small frame. "better?"
    [/fancypost][/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][size=5pt]TEMPLATE ©BOKEH | #BOKEHFANCY | edited by electra 4/6/16[/size]

    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=pink; border: none; width: 440px; height: 50px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: justify;color: black;width: 400px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: 4px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 20px; padding: 11px;][i]KITTY ARABELLA MCQUEEN[/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=white; border: none; width: 440px; height: 175px; margin-top: -1px;]

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 3px double white; height: 140px; width: 120px; background:url(http://s30.postimg.org/7svdsl1b5/image.jpg) center; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: -2px;][/fancypost] [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 270px; height: 150px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: black; font-family: verdana; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; padding: 1px;]// probably around like early fall since homecoming is usually around that time. & it's completely okay! p.s. sorry for the short-ish post.




    it felt as if i were dying in a way, for a lack of a better description. everything was drowned out, it was as if time was going in a slow paced blur at the moment, almost like tunnel vision. all i knew is that one minute i was crying my lungs out and the next i was being comfortingly held by liam before he then proceeded to pick me up bridal style and take me to his car, laying me in the front seat. oh thank god, if he had come out here any later i probably would've been in full blown panic attack mode. i was beyond lucky that he cared so much so i didn't even protest that we were missing class, at this point i thought that it might just be necessary.




    after a little while we pulled up to what i believe was a little lake and the scenery was quite serene and breathtaking all the same. liam got out and got the beanbags he kept in the back out, along with other items. he came back afterwards, picking me up once again and gently placing me on a beanbag before he wrapped his arms around me and my tiny frame leaned against him.




    he asked me if i felt any better and my blue eyes stared back up at him. did i? sure, in this setting, yeah, it was calming to just let go of the insane mental state i was just in. however, physically i felt like sh.t, as if i were going to pass out at any moment. although that could be kept to myself right about now.




    [b]"in a way, yeah....this place is very calming and you are too....i just---i don't know...shaken up, i guess? still a bit pissed off at what ash said. do you believe him?"

    i said, tacking on the question onto the end, of course that was a dumb question, i had already sold myself out.




    "nevermind...it doesn't matter. i'm just sorry....i should've said something, at least given a hint... and i'm just so immersed in this, maybe somewhat in denial too. i don't know how to let go of this, i don't even know if i want to. you just--you have to understand how awful it feels to look in the mirror every morning and barely be able to look at yourself. there's also this sense of control, power even that comes with not or barely eating. i'm good at it, i feel it's the only thing i am actually good at. sure, there's dance, but it's not like i'll ever get to a level that's worthy of getting accepted into a ballet program. there's just so many different components as to why it happened. there's my own insecurity, my mom dying, ash's cocaine stint, jax, my relationship with brett and the abuse with that....everything just kept piling on and i didn't know how to handle it. and once the enthrallment wore off it just became this sick kind of game and i'm so done trying to win. i feel as if starving isn't going to kill me i might just end up doing it myself, and that scares me....." i admitted in a frenzy of words, eventually sighing, my head now resting against his chest, attempting to ignore the fact that my world was spinning. i won't lie, i have blacked out a couple times and have had seizures because of this but i tried my best to cover it up. i kept saying that when it gets serious i'll tell somebody, but how much more serious will it have to get before i realize i passed serious a long time ago?




    in the long run truly never wanted to hurt anyone, i don't think i noticed the nor processed the legitimate consequences my disorder would have on not just myself but everyone around me. if i'm being honest, i thought i'd end up being dead before they'd ever find out but apparently i'm not as good at hiding things as i thought.

    [/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=#A9E2F3; border: none; width: 440px; height: 50px;][fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none;font-family: arial;text-align: justify;color: black;width: 400px; height: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: 4px; margin-left: -5px; font-size: 20px; padding: 11px;][i][b]ASHTON JAMES MCQUEEN[/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=white; border: none; width: 440px; height: 175px; margin-top: -1px;]

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 3px double white; height: 140px; width: 120px; background:url(http://s12.postimg.org/5fj9x0y19/image.jpg) center; background-size: 100%; margin-top: 3px; margin-left: -2px;][/fancypost] [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: none; width: 270px; height: 150px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9.5px; line-height: 12px; text-align: justify; color: black; font-family: verdana; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; padding: 1px;]// lol unsure of what to do with him so he can just hang out here for now

    [/fancypost][align=center][size=7pt]lightsy loves you