Lèi Dī Láng
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(Warning for suicidal thoughts; if you are triggered by such things, please do not continue.)
Pain, pain, [i]pain; this was what mortality was. Just wave after wave of neverending agony, and in the end when you die you just become part of the pain. He'd never really realized it before Addy died; everything had been good back then, but then his life went dark. Like a grey mist had covered him. And then it just continued; over and over, losing more and more friends as time dragged on. Sometimes he just wanted it all to stop, but then he remembered that it never would; his spirit couldn't truly "die", it'd just be reincarnated after a long hibernation and the cycle would continue, only he'd have to grieve the people he'd lost while hibernating.
Dully he knew he was wandering around the city, looking for someone who was dead; Vanny would cheer him up, he'd take him fishing and Addy would giggle and lay with Brandy on the shore watching them struggle... But nope, two of those people were dead.
He knew he should be supporting Brandy and Sayaka, and well everyone; Eis and An'ei and.. Gods, everyone needed his support right now and he felt like a failure for being unable to provide it. He just wanted to go back in time before he met any of them and snuggle up with his parents, back at his first birth; they'd know what to do. But they were gone as well, taken by the tides of time.
Was this what being in love, truly in love, was like? He'd never been "in love" before; sure, he'd courted plenty of people and been forced to marry others over many, many lives but he'd never really been so genuinely taken by someone. And he'd missed his chance; Vandead was dead and Sayaka had taken him anyways.
I shouldn't be so upset. He thought. Saya would be horrified if she knew.. Gods, everybody would be surprised. He repressed a shiver, laying down on the cold concrete in the middle of some abandoned street and letting out a low wordless wail. I need to get over him, nobody can know. It'd never be a good time to tell them that he'd had a massive crush on the former leader anyways.
The wolf stood up, taking in a large gulp of air. He hadn't noticed it but he'd started crying when he was laying on the ground; not just crying, he'd been messily and loudly sobbing. Oddly enough he felt somewhat better, only that "better" was him feeling emotionless; he felt distant, and he didn't really mind it.