MAYDAY, MAYDAY, THE SHIPS GOING DOWN [private]

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    [fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 272px; width: 440px;]
    [fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; border-bottom: 9px #d6d5d2 double; height: 20px; width: 440px; margin-left: -15px; margin-top: -5px; font-size: 24px; font-family: bell mt; color: #d6d5d2; text-align: center; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 15px;]I chime in "haven't you people ever heard of..."[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; background: url(http://media.giphy.com/media/NHTqyT68fOEsU/giphy.gif); height: 200px; width: 160px; background-position: center; margin-left: 265px;][fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-top: -5px; margin-left: -8px; opacity: 0.95;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-left: -5px; margin-top: -210px; opacity: 0.75;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-top: -210px; margin-left: -1px; opacity: 0.95;][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 50px; height: 8px; padding: 0px; font-face: georgia; color: #181818; font-size: 8px; text-align: left; line-height: 7px; margin-top: -10px; margin-left: 57px;] #near. #avviehere. #AvvieLocTo [/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; height: 18px; width: 440px; margin-left: -15px; border-top: 9px #d6d5d2 double; font-size: 20px; font-family: bell mt; color: #d6d5d2; text-align: center; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 15px;]"...closing the god damn door?"[/fancypost]
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    The violet and white femme was sitting alone, thinking about... Everything.
    How she was getting married soon to who she thought to be her soul mate, no pun intended. She let her violet gaze drop to the floor, where she sat. She was underneath a willow tree, the one she had buried her miscarriage at. Closing her eyes, tears dribbled past them and she aimed to squeeze them shut tightly.


    She loved Soul. There was no denying it. But when he left and it was King again, what would she do? Would she just--continue with everything? Like normal? She heaved a small sigh, a light breeze stirring up her fur a little. Soul was great--kind, passionate, protective. But he was also so bull headed and stubborn. Like her, a little bit. She worried if she was rushing things. She had to admit, she pushed a lot with her other relationships. But she just wanted to be loved by someone. She wanted to be someone's' queen, their life.


    Her kids. Lucy, her injured daughter. Her heart swelled with pride, and she swept her tail closer to herself as she thought more. Hotline, her grand kid. Bumblebee and Chasingpaw. And most importantly, Kiseki, Dixon, and Charcoal. Her kits that were gone, either missing it dead. And Charcoal hate her with a burning passion, and it hurt her insides. She let out a long sigh.


    And then there was Imperial. Her beloved brother. She love him deeply, deeply. She knew what he was saying was the truth, about his body not actually being his. Sometimes, Selaphiel felt that, too. But she missed him nonetheless. And it didn't help that he and Soul hate eachother now. Soul already hated Hotline. There was so much going on, so overwhelming and just.... Panic and anxiety gripped her chest as she began to dry heave, hacking. Oh god, great. A panic attack. She tried to shake the feeling off, but her chest was ablaze with a prominent fire, like it was blocking her breathing. She dug her claws into her opposite arm, curling up in a ball as she dry heaved.
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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:440px; height:auto; font-family: arial; text-align: justify; color: white]Δ Imperialexecution's mind was blissfully devoid of any problems, plague-free and merely focused. He was in the old ColouredClan territory to pick off any stragglers and look for the prey that would have obviously flocked now their clan overlords had mercifully left them alone, not to reunite with his sister; still, these things were apparently inevitable.


    The vulpine held no obvious affections for ColouredClan any more; they had refused to hear him out and his home was now with SunClan. Still, he found himself sliding over, stopping ten metres away and watching his sister as she struggled in the throes of a panic attack, his eyes dead. " You brought this on yourself, " he chose to stare blankly. " You rushed into this too quickly and forgot to look, and now you're pregnant, and even your own children think you're mindless. You must have an addiction to those that will hurt you. " in love, in war, in death. She was trapped in a cycle she didn't know how to escape because she knew no better.


    Perhaps he was the same, but he'd never admit it. After all, he was one of the poisons that had brought her to her knees.


    (i was just listening to evelyn, evelyn and it was perfect for this scene omg)


    [/fancypost][size=2px][color=transparent] #rabimperialmind

    [fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 272px; width: 440px;]
    [fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; border-bottom: 9px #d6d5d2 double; height: 20px; width: 440px; margin-left: -15px; margin-top: -5px; font-size: 24px; font-family: bell mt; color: #d6d5d2; text-align: center; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 15px;]I chime in "haven't you people ever heard of..."[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; background: url(http://media.giphy.com/media/NHTqyT68fOEsU/giphy.gif); height: 200px; width: 160px; background-position: center; margin-left: 265px;][fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-top: -5px; margin-left: -8px; opacity: 0.95;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-left: -5px; margin-top: -210px; opacity: 0.75;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-top: -210px; margin-left: -1px; opacity: 0.95;][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 50px; height: 8px; padding: 0px; font-face: georgia; color: #181818; font-size: 8px; text-align: left; line-height: 7px; margin-top: -10px; margin-left: 57px;] #near. #avviehere. #AvvieLocTo [/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; height: 18px; width: 440px; margin-left: -15px; border-top: 9px #d6d5d2 double; font-size: 20px; font-family: bell mt; color: #d6d5d2; text-align: center; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 15px;]"...closing the god damn door?"[/fancypost]
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    She was gasping for air now, looking up at her brother with glazed purple eyes. She was breathing quickly now, tucking farther into herself as she waited for the pain to end. She did rush things, didn't she? Save always got herself in trouble with that, basically asking for a broken heart. She knew it was a bad trait of hers, and she attempted to pull herself back together with a few more sharp breaths, like hiccups. "I'm just pitiful, aren't I? I am a no good person who sucks at relationships of any kind. Even our relationship has faded. I'm sorry I'm not good enough." She said quietly, eyes watering. She did have a problem with that, and she knew it.
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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:440px; height:auto; font-family: arial; text-align: justify; color: white]Δ Imperialexecution huffed.


    " I waited ... What? Fourteen months? Fourteen months before baring my heart to anyone, and even then, only two, after months of nursing ... Something. I had two in fourteen months and you had fourteen in two months! I still love them, too. I'd like to think they still love me, wherever they are. " Charcoal, Neptuneblue - the only two to have won him over. Maybe there were other small dalliances he yearned for - he didn't know - but he'd separated the concepts of sex and love. He could have one without the other, either way round.


    It just so happened that he'd cemented the former with his two loves by utilising the latter.


    The feonix laughed shortly. " You're too good, that's what you are. You let them take advantage of your heart and do nothing about it. How long was it before you were dating Ruin? A day, two days after you met? And how quickly did you hook up with Impavid after that? And Neptune after her? And Soul after him? You change so quickly you lose sight of what's important: waiting. Savouring. Loving. Not chasing. Let it come to you for once else you'll regret it. "


    [/fancypost][size=2px][color=transparent] #rabimperialmind

    [fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 272px; width: 440px;]
    [fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; border-bottom: 9px #d6d5d2 double; height: 20px; width: 440px; margin-left: -15px; margin-top: -5px; font-size: 24px; font-family: bell mt; color: #d6d5d2; text-align: center; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 15px;]I chime in "haven't you people ever heard of..."[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; background: url(http://media.giphy.com/media/NHTqyT68fOEsU/giphy.gif); height: 200px; width: 160px; background-position: center; margin-left: 265px;][fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-top: -5px; margin-left: -8px; opacity: 0.95;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-left: -5px; margin-top: -210px; opacity: 0.75;][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=#d6d5d2; borderwidth=0px; height: 210px; width: 4px; padding: 0px; margin-top: -210px; margin-left: -1px; opacity: 0.95;][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 50px; height: 8px; padding: 0px; font-face: georgia; color: #181818; font-size: 8px; text-align: left; line-height: 7px; margin-top: -10px; margin-left: 57px;] #near. #avviehere. #AvvieLocTo [/fancypost][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=#292928; borderwidth=0px; height: 18px; width: 440px; margin-left: -15px; border-top: 9px #d6d5d2 double; font-size: 20px; font-family: bell mt; color: #d6d5d2; text-align: center; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 15px;]"...closing the god damn door?"[/fancypost]
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    the female felt the anxiety and panic lessen from her chest, so she ever so slowly uncut led herself. She stayed laying on the floor, though, because she didn't want to get up. "I know. Damn, do I know how bad I am at love. I think Soul is the one, though. I can feel it." She pointed to her chest. A playful smile lightly graced her features. "In love with your nephew?" She gave a small laugh. She didn't mean any harm by it, because she knew how much they loved eachother. "Why don't you go join the cirque de Nuit then? Go be with him." She said quieter now, focused on the ground. "I'm a bad mother. You think-- you think this litter will leave me, too? That they won't die like the one previous?" She patted the ground where Kiseki's siblings were buried.
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