Monarchwing First Advanced Bio

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  • Character Name:
    Monarch(Monarchwing)



    Character Age:
    2 Years/24 Moons



    Gender:
    Female



    Alliance:
    Skull (Used to be Riverclan Until Captured)



    Rank:
    Dirt



    Appearance(6 or more sentences):
    Ginger she-cat with a black nose and one green eye and one brown. She has black toes on the front paws, and black socks on the back paws. A white muzzle reaches from her nose, to either side of her face, gently sloping downward. A white tail tip covers 1/3 of her rabbit length tail, and she has a black chest, belly, and ear tips. She is smaller than most cats, though she has longer legs. Sleek, short fur covers her. She also has the body build for a very fast runner. She can fit through tight spaces easily too.



    Personality(6 or more sentences):
    Monarch is a hyper, exited cat, although, she can be fierce in battle. When she is in a good mood, which is always, she is very funny. She can make even the most grumpy laugh a little under his breath. Her goofy and silly traits make her even more entertaining! She is a gentle cat too, being very careful around spots on cats that hurt, and helping in the medicine den. She is very helpful, and when someone askes her to help, she's one step ahead. She can mess up though. In fact, she messes up often...
    ---Likes (at least 3):
    Birds. It's her favorite food. She will eat other things when she needs to, but it makes her happy to have a bird in her belly.
    Running. She can beat almost anyone in a race. She runs almost everywhere too, because walking is to slow to her.
    Swimming. She was a former Riverclan cat, and was very good and fond of catching fish.
    Climbing. She loves to climb. Anything, as long as you can move upwards. She's not the best, but she can do it well.


    --- Dislikes (at least 3):
    Bugs. She cannot stand them. Most of all though, she hates bees. She will never go near a hive, and when she hears a buzzing of any type, she automatically thinks it's a bee and she freaks out.
    Cats that tower over her. She feels small and insignificant, which makes her very shy.
    Stink. She hates when she or another cat smells bad. She often washes herself to keep herself smelling good, and will offer to share tongues to clean a cat.


    ---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
    Her sense of Hearing. She has amazing hearing, and can hear so well it's quite scary.
    Her sense of Sight. Her vision is very sharp. She is very alert too.
    Running. See above.
    Swimming. See above.


    ---Weaknesses (At least 3):
    When cats threaten. She doesn't like threats. To anything. Whether it's her, her clan, a friend, or a foe. She will often give into what the cat says.
    Keeping up when going long distances. She gets tired easily, and will slow the group down. She has to takes breaks often too. And sometimes, it hurtes her side(Like getting a cramp).
    Her tail. It's still quite sensitive on the end from being chopped off on the fox trap. When she gets hit hard there, its sends a shock of pain though her.




    History(8 or more sentences):
    Monarch was an orphan at a young age. Her father mysteriously disappeared before she born, and her mother was murdered for revenge when she was 6 moons old. She had to teach herself to hunt, fight, and protect her and her sister Lily. They were wanderers, and never stayed in the same place much. That was trouble though. They didn't know how to cross thunderpaths well. One day, they came across a quite thunderpath. Lily started to cross casually, and Monarch held back, watching for monsters. Lily turned back and made a funny pose, but she didn't hear the enormous monster until it was too late. She began running back to the side Monarch wasn't on, but she wasn't fast enough. Monarch buried her and wept for days. About 3 moons after, she came to the clans. Monarch wanted to stay and learn more about them. She wondered around an area with many streams. She loved to swim. This would be perfect! One day, Riverclan found her. They took her to meet with Leader. After a talk with her, she was accepted into the clan with the name Monarchwing. After a while in the clan, Monarch got quite sad. She missed being able to travel, so one day, she left. She headed into the unknown. She was wondering about in a forest where she met a cat named Blade. He took her to skull, where she was made a Dirt.



    Roleplay Sample:
    Monarch woke up and stretched. It was about sun high, judging from the noises coming from outside the den. When she walked out, it looked like a battle field. Her clan mates were walking around all of the camp. She saw her friend Snowflake walk into the Medicine den. She followed, to ask what was going on. When she got there, she walked up to Snowflake. "Whats going on?" She asked groggily. "Yesterday night! The gathering!" Snowflake said. She looked utterly shocked "Well excuse me! I didn't go the gathering!" Monarch snorted playfully. She remembered last night. Waiting for Snowflake in her den. She was to tired and didn't stay awake until the cats who went to the gathering came back. "What happened?" She asked. She was curious about why everyone was acting like this. "It's Shadowclan! They've declared war!"

    The post was edited 1 time, last by мσηαяcнωιηg ().

  • Hey there Monarchwing! ^^


    Your bio looks great so far, but I'm going to recommend you change some things, otherwise I can't accept it. :(


    First off, I just wanted to check - Monarch is in Skull, right? ^^; Because I was unsure with the Skull/Riverclan thing. Secondly, it's pretty improbable for a ginger tabby to have black markings, so could you change that? She could have white markings instead of a black chest/underbelly. :) Thirdly, it's also unrealistic for a cat to have a short tail unless she's a Manx/similar breed, or it got chopped off. :3


    Now, moving on to your personality section! :] It's only 4 sentences, so could you add 2 more sentences to the personality? :) Next, you cannot say that she can beat anyone in a running race, because who knows? Maybe someone is better than her [and saying she's the best at that is simply impossible. ^^] For your next sentence, it's the same problem - you can't say that she was one of the best swimmers in the clan, either~


    Also, could you elaborate more on her sight? I wasn't sure what you meant by she sees things that aren't there. :] Plus, being scared/annoyed at being threatened isn't really a weakness - could you please edit that? ^^


    Alright, to your history! Don't worry, we're almost done. :) It's slightly improbable for her and her sister to survive fully by themselves in the wild - maybe make them a bit older? Of course, that's only if you wish for them to be. :3 You cannot say that she met the leader, who was called Leopardstar, since we are an AU roleplay (if you are referring to the former Riverclan leader in the books), so all the canon characters (cats from the book series) never existed. Also, it never happened IC (roleplayed out here), so you cannot say that~


    Basically, it's the passage at the end of your History section which is the problem - you can't say she grew to become one of the clan's favourites, and there was an outbreak of coughs, and she was chosen for a journey to try and find a cure, because that simply did not happen IC and thus it never happened. ^^;


    Trust me, don't feel overwhelmed alright? This is all very easy, and I can help you through the process so it's even easier for you~! ^^

  • Okay! I'm really sorry... It's my first bio... ^^" Would it be possible for her to just not be tabby?


    Sorry about the leopardstar thing... I was just a little confused...



    Thank you! It is kinda overwhelming... Last night I was really worried about what to do and say and I had butterflies in my stomach... Dx



    I'll go fix it!

  • As in, simply an orange cat with black markings? I'm afraid that'd be fairly improbable as well, but if you could find me a picture of what you mean that'd be fine! ^^ Unless, of course, you mean she's a Tortoiseshell or a Torbie! Then that's perfectly okay. :)


    It's alright. ^^ Almost everyone gets confused on their first advanced bio~ ;3


    Awww, don't worry about it. *hugs* We staffies are here so that the process of getting Advanced approved is easy, alright? :]


    Sure! Just BUMP [post bump] this when you're done, and either me or another staffer will check this!


    [size=1]probably another staffer, as i have to go soon xD[/size]

  • Thanks! *Is hugged* I'll get you a pic in a minuet!


    By the way, her tail got chopped off in a fox trap... 3: I feel bad, but I like it! x3



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