WHEN MEMORIES ARE LEFT TO HOLD )) open + more bluh sad stuff i guess idk??

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  • [fancypost bgcolor=; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 375px;][justify]was it to much to ask for some alone time? some time of serenity, some time of letting his F-CKING FEELINGS EAT HIM ALIVE? was it too much to ask to desire to just let himself succumb to the more destructive thoughts he had? yes, yes of course it was! everything was too lavish for him, wasn't it? even death didn't seek him at this point, and javapaw knew he had nothing. all he wanted was some F-CKING PEACE! NO MORE THOUGHTS, NO MORE F-CKING THOUGHTS!


    the tabby currently resided in his room, claws digging into his skull as he tried to stop them. the disgusting memories at ate at him, and it was noticeable. the rage that flashed in his optics, the vexation, the way his build was literally being wasted away, just a fluffy bag of bones and a pair of broad shoulders. bulging hazel eyes and torn, ragged claws. coffee stains dribbling all the way from his muzzle to his chest. it was one of the only thing that worked now, just making coffee. coffee, coffee, coffee. sorting through collected herbs, reading about birds, making flowercrowns which he even considered idiotic. it didn't matter, it busied him with something, so that's why the pale feline adorned a purple crown of asters as his claws pierced through the skin atop his skull, shaking his head as thoughts refused to stop.
    [color=transparent][size=3pt]a

    [size=6pt][color=white]information - [abbr=super speed, shapeshifting, phasing, can see spirits, invisibility, memory manipulation, scent manipulation, ability to shrink]powers[/abbr] - [abbr=all forms of birds, lion, alpaca, guinea pig, porcupine, aldabra tortoise, domestic feline ( main )]bodies[/abbr][/size]

  • [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; width: 450px; text-align: left; height: auto; font-size: 24pt; text-shadow:2px 2px 2px #000000; color: gray; font-family: georgia; line-height: 90%]devlin cavallone !
    [size=7pt][font=verdana]OR WILL I DIE IN THE COLD FEELING BLUE AND ALONE.
    I WONDER IF YOU'LL EVER HEAR THIS SONG ON YOUR STEREO.[/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; width: 450px; text-align: justify; height: auto; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 130%; margin-top: -8px][hr]Devlin was worried about her friend, in all honesty. He seemed consumed by something lately, and she knew what it was like to be trapped in her own head. The seal lynx point poked her head into his room, and flinched when she saw what he was doing. "J-Jav?" she questioned quietly, and for all that she knew, she didn't know how to deal with situations she had lived through.


    ""

    [size=5pt][color=transparent]© counselor dreamíe

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    SEIJA KIJIN
    LithiumClan - Cavalier - info - battle tags - other





    Javapaw's issues were a source of yet more inner conflict.




    On the one hand, the oracle trainee clearly wanted to be left alone- to the point where he wouldn't accept help. The Cavalier could understand that, even if some of the others couldn't. In fact, she was happy to stay out of it; having to play the morality chain for everyone got tiring really quickly.




    On the other... As the kit padded up alongside Devlin, she winced. "Okay, this is getting out of hand," Seija growled, entering the room. "Dev, if you wouldn't mind going to grab Streetlight- or, heck, even Madeleen if she's closer." They were technically in equal standing, so she couldn't make it an order- not that she would probably need to.




    Turning back to Javapaw, she continued, "As for you, this whole thing needs to be dealt with. Spare me the whole 'leave me alone I don't want help' mantra, I've heard it all before. If you're gonna keep cleaving yourself up over this, someone's going to have to intervene."




    [size=4pt]/woah where'd all this muse come from
    /(also I can edit if it's necessary for plot reasons)[/size]








    [size=6pt](picture drawn by hecatia-lapislazuli on tumblr)
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  • [fancypost borderwidth=0px; line-height: 14px; width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; color:#;]Michael, obviously, hadn't been around for a couple days now and he still felt the guilt scratch behind his eyes and knock against his skull, rattling his brain and making his whole body shake. It was horrible, but it was the past. He needed to look forward and get this place onto its feet. "What's going on? Javapaw, are you alright?" Questioned Michael as he approached behind Seija.

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    [size=20px]madeleen hatter ![/size]


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    Madeleen arrived, eyes wide. Again? This kid needed some lavender tea right now. "Sweetie," she murmured, keeping her distance just in case the apprentice lashed out. "You need help. This is getting out of hand, and... and I'll do whatever I can to fix this, I promise." her usually high, cheerful voice was now low and soothing, if Java chose to listen to her tone. Her anxiety was spiraling around in her aching stomach, and her paws shook. Oh, if only she could just find out what was wrong with Javapaw, she just wanted to help. She knew she seemed childish and self-centered, but she tried to care. She really did.
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