-pay attention!- [private for v]

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina listened to him with wide eyes, the dark orbs took on the tinge of fear and her skin paled noticeably. The entire time a thought kept drifting through her mind. 'No. No... He's lying, that's not true' She couldn't see it, picture it. Joshua... She couldn't see him doing such a thing.


    The revelation made her begin to feel light headed, her hands raised to clutch her upper arms. The shock was almost too much to handle, her heart beat was certainly irregular at the moment. Though, her first instinct was the leave as quickly as she could, Mina couldn't move.


    Seeing him like that, muttering incoherent words, resting a hand on his head, it looked like he was slowly losing it. Mixed with the sickness, he'd just make his overall condition worse.


    Mina took a shaky step closer, though left some distance between them. "Shh. Please, please, it's alright. You don't have to relive the painful memories anymore. Push them away." Another step, and a cautious outreached hand.

    breathing heavily, he looked up with wild eyes, discerning the line between his own memories and the harsh contemporary times. a panic attack he'd like to think where the sudden overwhelming feeling of being placed on a 20 story building came into view as he peered over the horrifyingly high edge. his head spun with the painstakingly cruel visions.


    he only wanted to push her away further, out completely until she was out of sight, but with her simple gestures, he couldn't act on impulse. he merely stared at her hand for a few seconds, taking in her gesture and the shakiness in her movements.


    he was scaring her, but somehow he had known this was bound to happen sometime.


    'i loved her so much.' he reached out to grab hold of her arm but retracted it back slightly.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]This situation was painful in all aspects, not only because the uncomfortable feeling of fearfulness was picking away at her, but also because Mina had never been good with words. She never sugar coated things, she often hurt people from her blunt opinions. She was desperately trying to come up with something to say.


    The girl flinched visibly when he reached out to grab her arm, though soon after he pulled back, she took ahold of his hand, cupping it in hers and trying to bring him entirely back to the present. Her eyes were more so colored with sympathy, though, the shakiness of her movements and voice still was there. She was unsure, did she feel scared?? Or more so solicitous?


    "You loved her; And I'm sure she knew that. I'm also sure that she returned that love." Mina forced her tone to a soft, comforting one. "Take deep breaths, it'll be alright." Her eyes glanced around for a chair, he needed to calm down. [b]"Why don't you tell me a good memory?"

    standing a little straighter, he tried to avoid her gaze altogether, keeping his eyes locked on his own hands. he inhaled an uneven breath as he tried to recollect all of his thoughts an order them in a sense that was possible to see clearly.


    'when i- no.' shaking his head, he finally looked up, fear and grief stricken. 'mina, will you stay the night?' he hardly cared for the impact that his words could give or what they could lead to. all he needed was for someone to be there with him throughout the night, to be his stability if something else were to happen.


    'please?' the strain in his voice made him seem much weaker than he appeared to be, his fingers trembling in her hold.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]At the question, Mina paused, her body tensing noticeably. She had initially thought he was joking; no such case. Chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes darted around unsurely. Was this the best thing? Her cheeks began to flush uncomfortably, perhaps she should've left long before. Plently of images ran through her mind at that, 'spend the night' could mean a multitude of things.


    She was always circumspect in these situations, yet the minute he gave the strained 'pleased' and she glanced down to his trembling hands. The girl could only give a soft smile, "Of course." She whispered. Previous state of flusteredness gone, it was evident he needed somebody, he looked so helpless... It made her chest tighten.


    Lightly brushing a thumb over his knuckles, she motioned towards the livingroom, "Do you want to sit down, I could make you more tea." She offered, quickly thinking of things to say.

    'no, no. i just need some sleep right now.' he nodded his head, as to assure himself that whatever he had just said was indeed, correct. there was nothing else he had longed for than to finally put his thoughts and buzzing mind to rest.


    he uneasily slipped away from her grasp, walking over and turning off the lights and television set in his living room before walking over to the kitchen and dimming the bright lamp as well. the entire unit was soon engulfed in a sort of uncomfortable darkness, but knowing his own place all too, he tugged on mina's arm lightly before maneuvering his way into the hallway and into his own bedroom.


    without another word, he crashed onto the bed, not bothering to lift the sheets or taking his glasses off.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina glanced around expressionlessly, accustoming herself with the new surroundings, before her eyes steadily made their way to see Joshua's form, crashed down on the bed. Timidly almost, she clicked her tongue in disapproval and moved to lean down, lightly slipping his glasses off and placing them on the nightstand. Her eyes then trained to the sheets, she contemplated just leaving them, yet was soon enough reminded of his cold.


    Falling to her knees, she spent the next minute easing up the blankets from underneath Joshua, and placing them over him. Her hand raised to feel his forehead for fever before she rose to a stand, quietly walking to the edge of the room, she stood at the window, glancing outwards.


    All that he had said. Was it true, what he'd done to his girlfriend? Mina felt a uncomfort twist at her stomach, she didn't want it to be, yet he'd seemed pretty honest there... Sighing quietly, she pushed the thoughts away and stifled a yawn. Mina glanced back to check the time, she'd get him medication in two hours or so.

    'not sleeping yet..?' mumbling from underneath the now comfortable bed sheets, feeling the soft fabric under his finger tips. 'i don't feel very comfortable with someone wandering around my room while i'm sleeping,' as to hint the playfulness in his words, he let out a small laugh, turning over to face her by the large glass window.


    'i can't blame you, the view is beautiful, especially at night.' sleepily, he yawned after seeing her do the act, rubbing his eyes tiredly before slipping back beneath the white sheets.


    'i can tell there's a lot on your mind...'

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]An eyebrow raised, Mina had thought he would've dozed off by now. Though, his words had carried a drowsiness to them.


    "Well, there's a lot to think about." She concluded simply, walking over and perching herself at the foot of his bed. "But that's for me to worry about, you just need rest." She sounded almost scolding, there'd be plenty of time for all else, but for now, sleep would help his physical and mental state.


    Glancing back over to the window, her eyes fogged over in thought. What would all the other student's think? How would they react if they were in her position. Mina didn't even know if she were doing the right things to help him, that part worried her the most.

    'thank you, mina...' murmuring quietly, he took one last glance at the window before closing his eyes and submitting to the rest that he had neglected for the past few days. he allowed the drifting scent of the city breeze to calm his aching nerves and to allow him to enter a tranquil state of mind.
    -
    there was not a single ill intentioned thought roaming around while he slept and dreamt of blank sheets. he wasn't exactly sure at what point his slumber was disturbed, but the protruding pain in his forehead made him forget time all together.


    groaning, he shifted around, trying to find a cool piece of material to rest his head back on. his movements became erratic, a cold sweat forming quickly.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina hadn't expected to fall asleep, no, her intent had been to stay awake all night and make sure he was alright, though about a hour and a half after Joshua had fallen asleep, she too dozed off, with her head rested on the bed while she was seated on her knees.


    Though, the minute he started thrashing, she was jolted awake, eyes shooting open, she fell back, confused by what was happening, but more so by her unfamiliar surroundings. Though the minute she glanced to the shifting figure, it all came back in a sudden burst of memory.


    Scuttling over, she reached out for him, shaking Joshua lightly at first, but graduating to becoming more forceful. "Hey, hey, wake up." She urged, trying to sound loud, yet her voice was slightly slurred with sleep.

    there had been so much commotion surrounding him for several seconds, adding onto the pounding that persistently came back again and again. his throat felt as if all moisture had been sucked out of it. all that was left was a dry pipe that could scarcely speak out to the individual who had been shaking him awake.


    a set of cold chills coursed through his body, his eyelids opening up slightly at first. releasing a moan of pain, he brought his hand to his forehead in a futile attempt to cool his head off.


    'w-water, please...' rasping out, he shifted to sit up, placing his hands on the head board to not topple over onto the bed again.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina nodded obidiently, pushing herself up and hurrying out the room. She fumbled a bit with the glasses, but eventually got a glass of cold water and some medication. She then ran back into the room, a bit frantic and at loss of what to do other than do what he asked.


    Sitting down beside him, she offered him a arm for support, all the while handing to glass over. For a moment, she didn't say anything just took his shaken up appearence, did this happen often? He looked so weak... Had he been dreaming about anything?


    Finally, she took a light intake of breath. "What's wrong?"

    with fumbling fingers, he reached out and took hold of the pills, coughing violently before downing them with the cold glass of water. the cool sensation of the liquid felt calming against his raw throat, but he stil could only manage a few words out.


    'don't feel to well.' now fully awake, he heaved a sigh and rested his back against the head board once more. the congestion in his chest was overbearingly irritating. the feeling of a thousand spider webs lodged in his wind pipes and lungs made him feel nearly delusional.


    'sorry you have to see me...like this.' leaning against her arm, he closed his eyes once more to block out the blotchy lights.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]"There's no need to apologize." Mina replied lightly, with a almost confused frown. She'd rather be seeing him like this, than having to go home and worry. Unfortunately, her medical knowledge was limited, he was already sitting up, and he'd taken medication, she supposed she could get him a wet cloth too.


    Reaching a hand out, she felt his forehead, lips turning downwards slightly, though she remained dutifully silent. He was definitely hot, that couldn't be a normal temperature. Getting up, she went the the bathroom, taking a few moments to locate a cloth and run cool water through it before wringing it out and bringing it back.


    "Here." She muttered, moving to lightly place the folded material on his forehead. "This will cool you down." Her hand lightly went to give his cheek a soft stroke. "Can I get you anything else?"

    'no-that's all. thank you.' smiling slightly in his gratitude, he placed his hand on the cloth to hold it in place, feeling the cool water seep into his over churning mind. the material had wakened him more as he sat alert with eyes closed.


    he had suddenly felt very childish, as if he were back to being 12 and under the supervision of his over bearing mother who tended to his every needs. the memories of being fed, read to, and bathed had surfaced his mind again as he seemed to crack another small smile to himself.


    'wh-what time is it?' thinking out loud, he suddenly wished he hand't spoken through the soothing silence of the room.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]A question Mina had been wondering herself. Twisting back slightly, she reached into her pocket, pulling out her phone and checking the time that was displayed on the screen, having to narrow her eyes slightly in order to narrow out the brightness.


    "It's... 3:27 AM." She replied, voice taking on slight lowness as she glanced to Joshua, she thought it had been closer to morning. "Maybe you should get back to bed, sleep will help you the best above all else."


    She moved slightly to motion Joshua down, as if offering to tuck him in.

    joshua tried not to fret over his busy schedule following the next day. if he was out ill, he'd have to call in sick and the university would definitely not take his excuse lightly. he didn't want to be faced with the consequences of potentially being paid less for the overall month and having to face the angry students who would come only to be turned away on such a short notice.


    but putting it all to rest, he merely agreed, succumbing to his body's want but doing one more thing first. he gently brought her down with him onto the mattress, holding onto her arm for support after closing his eyes again.


    through his sleepy haze he managed to mumble out a few words.
    'you need rest too.'

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina's face had taken on a heated tint in her cheeks, though thankfully, the colour was lost in the dark, her body was somewhat rigid and she'd gone to give a protest, saying she was perfectly fine, but the words were lost before they even escaped her mouth.


    She'd just cause disrupt if she moved to get up, it was evident Joshua was near sleep once more; she could move once he feel into a slumber, or that had been the plan, though the minute her back hit the bed, she felt the comfortable callings of sleep crawling onto her, encouraging even a short nap.


    Niether confirming nor denying his statement, she adjusted herself slightly, sinking further down while feeling him reach for her arm. Mina didn't mind.


    "Sleep well." She whispered, moving to brush his hair back with her free hand, before returning to her side.

    it wasn't the blaring light that had acted as the waking call, nor the sound of the bustling city below as people began to make normal morning runs to work. the only thing that had managed to wake joshua from his deep sleep was the dreaded call of the birds nested in the tree a few feet away from his window.


    the sparrow's cry rang clear above the honking and screeching of the cars outside, causing him to twitch his fingers rested across a smooth surface. whatever had managed to keep him warm throughout the night was much too far away from his reach.


    like a child, he extended his arms slightly and brought the form closer to himself, feeling content once the warmth had reached him again. upon inhaling the sweet scent, he finally managed to block out the rest of the noisy intersection and drifted back into unconsciousness.