-pay attention!- [private for v]

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina had been laying face up in her bed, the blankets tightly pulled in a straight line up to her chest, when her phone screen lit up. Initially, she ignored it. a) she was in a bad enough mood as it was and b) she assumed it was one of her friends asking for help with homework.


    Though when it lit up a second time, she finally reached out for it. She'd been preparing a replying; telling them to quit texting when she read the name and suddenly grew more confused than anything. Joshua? As se read the two messages, her eyes gradually narrowed.

    Mina wasn't going to even bother wondering who he'd meant to send it to; perhaps a relative of some sorts... She hoped at least. But the entire 'disregard' thing she found rather pointless. He'd asked already; why take it back?


    Her fingers rapidly danced across the screen, tapping in letters the minute they appeared in her mind. Soon enough she had a fully fomed message.


    [color=black]From: Mina


    To: Joshua



    Hey, seeing as you've already asked, I might as well get them. The drugstores close to my house



    [color=black]Her message was nothing too formal, it was too rushed. Though, she figured that it would be the quickest option for him. After all, she remembered his address from one time she picked up papers. If he still lived there, it wasn't too far a drive.

    The post was edited 1 time, last by ✮ v ✮ ().

    mentally cursing himself, joshua stood up from his position on the couch and walked over to thermostat near his door entryway. it was extremely cold and the temperature only seemed to be declining by the minute. turning the knob to the side, he pondered over which seemed to be a realistically good idea.


    he needed the medicine, like extremely needed but it was already cold out and raining profusely. it would only ignite the flu further and he wasn't really up to see how long it took him before his fever reached 105 degrees fahrenheit.


    deleting the message several times, he finally decided he would just accept it and let her own her way. there was no need for her to come in after all.


    -
    from: joshua
    to: mina


    thanks mina. can you pick up some more tea while you're at it? the lemon kind...


    -

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina responded with a simple 'okay' and then went to slide off the bed, perhaps she underestimated how cold it really was, the minute she left the warmed blankets, the coldness of the air immediately enveloped her. She'd been expecting to wear a simple trench coat, but in the end she had her heaviest sweater, a jacket, two scarves wrapped over her nose, a hat and gloves.


    Mina made her trip to the store quick, the girl at the counter kept casting over accusing glares, as if she assumed Mina was going to stuff a hair dryer down her shirt and make a run for it. How distasteful... Mina bought a bit more medication than necessary, getting different options and a few packets of tea.


    Lucky enough, she was good with directions, otherwise she would've ended up lost. The storm mixed with the dark wasn't a great mixture for visibility. The rain wasn't pleasant to drive in, but it was certainly better than walking. Even though she was already drenched from her short time spent outside.


    Upon arriving at Joshua's, she gathered the bag full of the requested items, shielding it under her arms, she hurried up to his door, knocking lightly, she bounced on the balls of her feet, trying to get some form of warmth going.

    the ring sounded throughout joshua's unit, waking him from his doze as he boiled more water, head resting gently on the counter. he perked up and waddled to the door, the thick blankets he used as shawls began to drag against the hardwood floor.


    using a tissue in hand, he blew one last time before unlocking the door and opening it, revealing the young woman who's hands were filled with boxes of tea and an assortment of flue medicine. merely blinking several times to process the fact that she was standing at is door way and that he had looked like a penguin with layers of blankets wrapped around, he found himself feeling slightly generous. the red tip of her nose and jittery movements told him that it was definitely freezing outside. she didn't have to help out, and it was the least he would give back.


    stepping to the side, he beckoned for her to come into the warm flat, the heat radiating from the vents in almost every room. the tv silently blared from the corner, mixed with the sound of the boiling kettle.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina couldn't help but widen her eyes at that, she'd been expecting a quick thank you and have it left at that. Usually, she would've denied the offer, seeing it as somewhat rude, however, today she seemed to be making exceptions for a lot of things. Not to mention she already felt her hands and feet going numb, the warmth radiating out of his house was welcoming.


    She cast a quick glance over Joshua, he had somewhat deteriorated since earlier when she... She was at the lesson. He carried heavy blankets over his shoulders, a tissue was in his hand and his face seemed to just show the sickness. Well; he really had needed these.


    She decided she'd stay for two minutes, just to warm up and leave soon after. Stepping in, immediately thankful for the sudden change in temperature. She nodded her appreciation, holding out the items in offering. She muttered words that sounded something like "Here you are." They were slightly muffled from the scarves covering her mouth.

    'thank you.' taking the bags in his hand, he removed a box of tea before tossing the bag mindlessly on the floor.
    'have a seat.' he gestured around the simply decorated room to any of the numerous chairs that lay scattered around.


    checking the ingredients and contents of the tea, he opened the box and made his was over to silently whistling pot filled with now hot water.


    'would you like some too?' without turning around, he waved a tea bag in the air before placing it in a plain white coffee mug.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina gave a nod of approval inwardly to his decor, minimalist, nothing was too extravagant. Yet, with his pay you wouldn't exactly be buying a pool table.


    In the end she chose the chair closest to her, it felt somewhat strange to be in his house, but she didn't let it show. Mina just acted like any guest would. Her hands lightly drummed on her lap, playing a simple melody in her mind. It was her go to reaction for almost everything, took your mind of the problem.


    "If it's not too much trouble, then certainly." Mina replied to Joshua's question, though seconds after, she spoke again. "I apologize if I'm being intrusive."

    The post was edited 1 time, last by ✮ v ✮ ().

    'of course she is...'


    without voicing his snark reply, he simply nodded his head in acknowledgment. 'don't be silly, i invited you in the first place.' pouring the water into another mug, he switched off the kettle and walked over to a large wooden table in the center of the living room, placing the two hot mugs down.


    he then reached for the plastic bag thrown across the room earlier containing the thick packet of giant pills. sighing, the buzz of his phone signified that someone had sent another text and he silently hoped that his phone was completely out of reach of mina.


    quickly, he downed the pills with a glass of water and hurriedly jogged over to the couch, taking a seat on his cell and gluing his eyes back onto the television set, waiting for the tea to cool.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina wasn't one to let things go by easily. She was deathly observant, even without meaning to, she'd take note of every detail, but when she was actually looking around, well... those senses only increased. She'd noticed the buzz of the phone, but ignored it; at first. After all, she wasn't just going to assume anything, and it wasn't her place to just waltz over and check.


    The thing that piqued her suspicion was him rushing back into the livingroom and sitting down on it. She was reserved, yet, when something got her curious, she was terrible at dismissing it.


    Shifting in her seat for a minute, her eyes flickered from the tea, to the TV to Joshua. Plenty of thoughts were running through her mind, plenty more would've been if she found out that the text had been from Jasmin, going on about how she hoped Joshua was feeling better soon, and how she'd had 'fun' that day.


    Going back to her old blunt way of acting, Mina stood, making the short trek across the living room so she could sit down next to Josh. She didn't bother giving any explanation, just glanced over. "You moved pretty quickly there." She remarked, it was hard to tell if her tone of voice was amused or accusing.

    'did i...? didn't want to leave my guest alone for too long. that would've been rude i suppose.' he fidgeted away uncomfortably, not wanting to get any closer than where they had left off that day. in fact, he hadn't wanted to surface anywhere near where they had been that day.


    'i didn't want to comment on this, i know it's your personal life but...you've been acting strangely, especially today. was it something i said or did? you never come off that, you know, strong and i just wanted to know if everything was alright.' speaking slowly, he reached for his glasses on the coffee table nearby along with a clean spoon, stirring the tea just as steadily.


    switching the subject onto a different track, it was his turn to question her motives, see exactly what she was trying to achieve. it wasn't as if he was genuinely curious, but it did spark a bit of interest form deep within.

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Immediately her eyes narrowed when the direction of the conversation was directed towards her, she supposed it was to be expected. But Mina never was the biggest fan of being the subject of inquiry.


    Scooting away slightly so that she could lean into the arm of the couch, she crossed her arms in a uncomfortable manner, her cheeks tinting in embarrassment. "No..." She muttered, incoherently at first. "No... It's nothing you've done." She continued a little louder this time.


    Mina paused for a long moment, suddenly turning quiet. Glancing down, she wrung out her hands. "I don't exactly have an answer however." Truth be told, she had no clue what had gotten into her, but saying that wasn't an option.


    "I suppose I should apologize if you felt uncomfortable."

    'not so much uncomfortable...perhaps just a little surprise. my star student jumped on me once she had the chance, it'd be hard to say i wasn't caught off guard, but...' trailing off, he nervously rubbed his fingers together, trying to scrub off the strange feeling that rose once more amongst them.


    'what would you want to get out of it? a relationship i mean... i have nothing to offer you that you can't already get from your boyfriend. just look at my living state,' chuckling half heartedly, he gazed around the small living area that had been cramped only months earlier before he decided to clean most of the junk out.


    'i'm just a lowly paid instructor barely making a living that can support myself. maybe if i were a millionaire, i'd be able to afford luxury items for you but i can't...' his grip on the tissue tightened significantly as he sniffed once more, looking down down at his hands.


    'i should be apologizing for going along with you. i'm sorry for leading you on.'

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina couldn't come up with a reply straight away, really, who could just suddenly blurt out their response? Instead of fidgeting, she was sitting rigidly straight, staring at the T.V blankly. The only thing that moved were her fingers, which were once again playing an imaginary melody on her upper legs.


    Finally, after a long moment she glanced over, gave a short laugh, it wasn't genuine, yet it wasn't forced. It was somewhere in between, almost bitter. ''I don't care about your financials. You wouldn't have to give me anything... As for what I'd get out of it, well, I-" She suddenly stopped, reaching for cup, deciding it was time she downed it and got ready to leave.



    "And don't apologize, you didn't lead me on. I full well knew how inappropriate my actions were." Surprisingly enough, the detachment in her voice faded as she gave a sigh and glanced down, hair falling over her shoulders and forming a comfortable shield from the surrounding room. "You were just so interesting, I wanted to..." Once again she feel silent, realizing how stupid she'd been this entire day.

    biting the inside of his cheek, joshua shuffled slightly in his spot before moving closer towards her, feeling truly sympathetic for what he had said. he couldn't take them back but he could try to alleviate some of the pain that he inflicted.


    placing one hand over hers, he peered into her face, ducking a bit because she had casted her gaze towards the ground.


    'mina, i need you to listen to me. i'm sure your parents or friends would say the same thing, but you have so much more potential than you think. i've tutored you for years now, and there has been so much progress. speaking from my point of view, i'm really proud of you but...' gripping her hand tighter, he continued on through a whisper like voice, scratchy and hoarse from the illness.


    'you can't keep spending your time on someone like me. i'm telling you, i'm not the person i appear to be. you can get any person you'd like because you're so beautiful and kind. don't waste all of that on a nobody like me, i would start to feel bad.'


    leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on her cheek, caressing the side of her cheek with a warm hand.


    he parted and stared into her eyes, smiling softly.
    'promise me you'll stay faithful to your own boyfriend.'

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina looked at him in astonishment, her lips parted, the bottom one quivering slightly, while her eyes were growing moist, a single tear trailing down her cheek. Slowly, as if robotically her hand raised to feel the spot where he'd kissed, suddenly craving the sensation once more. It took all her willpower to not pull him back. Then it clicked.


    Flattery, he was giving her flattery. Trying to reduce the pain of being rejected. She should've just accepted it, smiled, promised she'd be loyal to her boyfriend, give Josh a hug and then leave. But she hated pity, she hated being the subject of sympathy. It made people waste valuable time when they tried to comfort you. But, what more, there was somebody else, there had to be somebody else.


    Standing up abruptly, she fumbled to grasp the cup with shaking hands. "I-I should go. You n-need sleep." She stumbled over her words clumsily, as if she couldn't decide what to say, or perhaps her brain was shutting down and she was simply forgetting how to speak.


    Mina made a beeline for the kitchen, the cup clattered slightly when she dropped it in the sink, but at least it didn't break.

    startled by the sound emitting from the kitchen, he stood quickly to check and see is she had been alright. taking in her expression and the dampened spot that had been touched by her tears on her face, he reached out and engulfed her in one last hug.


    'please don't cry, mina. please, i can understand that you're angry with me, but i'm only doing this to protect you from my own life.'


    he rocked the both of them back and forth, tightening his grasp around her while resting his chin on the top of her head.


    'we can't keep torturing each other like this, you'll only get hurt.'

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Unsure how to react at first, Mina just stood limbly into the embrace, her eyes closed as she tried to organize her thoughts, this couldn't be real. Yet, hoping that something was a dream didn't make it so.


    Slowly, as if an unconscious movement, her arms moved, wrapping around Joshua in turn. She buried her face into his shoulder, trying to just enjoy the moment, the tension in her posture released and she deflated slightly. Why did he keep going on about 'protecting' her. How bad could he really be? One of things she'd always liked about him was the distant demeanour, yet she'd always seen herself as someone not a subject of that. Another miscalculation.


    Pressing most of her weight into him, she lifted her head slightly to look at the male. "You don't have to keep pretending." She murmured, grip tightening around his back, [b]"Why do you make yourself out to be such a bad person, I know you're not. If this is unrequited... You... You don't have to act like you care."

    'we've all got our secrets, dark ones, frightening ones. you don't even want to know half the ones i have up my sleeve.' chuckling slightly, he began to entwine his fingers in her hair, looking down at the plentiful strands with curiosity.


    'you see me just as an instructor, and not truly as joshua. i've not revealed myself to someone in quite a while, and when i had, she left me.' sighing, he slowed his actions and brought her in impossibly closer to his own standing figure.


    'of course i care, i just know you wouldn't have the ability to care the same. when i fall hard, it becomes too deep and i can't seem to find my way back out of it again.'

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    [font=andale mono][color=black]Mina's vision fogged in confusion, secrets? Dark secrets? Unless he was a serial killer, she couldn't imagine him being someone labeled as 'dark'. But then, what did he mean, by 'revealed himself'?


    Though her chin was rested on his shoulder, she brought a hand to lightly stroke the nape of his neck. "But I would care about you, I do care-" She stopped suddenly, pausing for a moment. "Why did she leave you... Was she scared?"

    nodding gently, he looked up in reminiscence, replaying the scene that he had often kept locked away from the rest of reality. releasing his grip, he took a step backwards, leaning against a wall with an odd expression before continuing.


    'it was christmas eve. i remember i had to work throughout the holidays and she wasn't very happy about my schedule, so she told me to just to stay home for a few days. but i knew i couldn't do that, not with the income coming in for us both. i could barely afford a measly polaroid for her since she loved taking photos so much. she continually got frustrated and i just, i-' choking on his words, he meshed his fingers together, clutching so hard the color drained from his knuckles.


    'i just snapped- there was blood everywhere. she was hospitalized and i could never, not even, no...' he incoherently babbled on, resting his hand on his temple as the wave of memories dizzied him further.