shattered (pafp || bxb || semi adv to adv)

[img width=382 height=510]https://40.media.tumblr.com/d1…9je56nA71sh9irao1_500.jpg[/img]

Niko never really felt anything anymore. He was numb inside at all times now, though he preferred that to the tight, achy feeling that used to reside in his chest, a constant reminder of his life in the past. Before the adoption, all the crappy foster homes... Before waking up in the hospital two months after that dreaded day when the cigarette between his fingers dangled just a little bit too low as he laid stretched out upon his bed after he'd fallen asleep smoking and watching a movie, his his family asleep in various parts of the house and his boyfriend dozing beside him.

He shudders as he quietly rambles all of this off to his therapist in this little teen grief consoling group. It was him and seven other boys and girls around his age who had lost someone. A brother, a sister, maybe a parent, possibly a boyfriend or even a pet. But none of them had gone through what he had. None of them were to blame for the deaths of their loved ones, and he could tell that simply by scanning their face and seeing the pale, frightened looks on all of them. He's a killer. At least to everybody in the room except one lone soul that's off to the side, he'd already spoken, but Niko can't seem to recall his name, probably because he'd only been half listening. He'd lost his brother to the military, he had been killed in friendly fire if he remembers correctly. He wasn't staring at Niko like he was some kind of rabid animal, who would latch on and suck your life away if you turned your attention for more than a split second. He was just staring at him, and it would seem that he was actually rather curious for some reason. Niko finds himself staring right back into the eyes of the young man, and then he tips his head slightly to him as the rest of the group slowly turns their gaze onto the next person as she begins her pity party of a check in, because she lost her dearest hamster. Dear God it made him want to tear his ears off.

Plot
So, the plot is pretty obvious, at least I thinks c: So Niko is a very depressed, broken boy due to the demons of his past and the guilt that constantly eats at him. When your character hears his story for the first time in group he becomes determined to help make the shattered boy whole again, to help him, and possibly to love him... But Niko doesn't believe he deserved to be cleansed of his seemingly eternal pain, so he attempts to push away every friendly advance the other makes; every smile, kind word, loving gesture... Any attempt to make him feel good he refutes, but your character is persistent and continues ceaselessly in his pursuits.
(I would appreciate at least one paragraph per post, and if you decide to leave the thread please just let me know beforehand!)

(Awesome! I hope you end up enjoying it and sticking around for a while ;D)

As soon as the whiny little brat beside him finally quiets down (partially, he believes, due to the rather loud sigh from the male across the room from her), Niko leaps to his feet. Though he isn't the only one, everybody stands actually and they all are forced to join hands to recite the groups 'words of affirmation', "Time heals all wounds, take every day a step at a time." Niko, of course, mumbles this along with the rest of the group, speaking the words just as halfheartedly as most of them do; if he didn't speak them he would stand out even more than he already does, and he just can't have that, now can he? After these words are spoke, the group release each other and technically they are free to go, though most hang around and chat with each other for a bit, seeing as they seem to all want to have at least some kind of social life.

Niko is quite obviously not like all the rest of them though. He bites his lower lip slightly and glances around, as though almost hopeful somebody will approach him with an intent to chat, but when nobody does within the first few moments and turns and makes an immediate beeline for the door. The therapist purses his lips as he watches the troubled boy start to make a break for it, and he glances around the room to see if anybody else is lacking a social partner. He quickly spies Nikki and he calls for Niko to stop, almost ordering him to stay in the room and socialize for a bit. The boy does as he told, though it is quite grudgingly; he was never exactly a social person in the first place, and the accident just made him more introverted than ever, but he is also one to do as he's told without too much complaining, so he quietly sulks back into the room and sort of tucks himself away in a corner, alone.

Niko glances up as he hears a voice, originally believing that some people had just wandered a bit to close whilst having their conversation; he finds himself almost excited to listen in on them though. The thirst for human interaction is still buried deep within him no matter how hard he attempts to deny it. He is confused when he doesn't see anybody in front of him though, and that's when his gaze flies over to Nikki, the only indication of any surprise a slight widening of his eyes. He does feel a jolt of the emotion within him though; this male may not believe him to be a disgusting animal, but why the hell is he talking to him? He doesn't miss to much momentum though, and he nods slowly.

"Yes, quite ridiculous..." he agrees, his face remaining expressionless and his voice soft and sweet. "I've suggested countless times to Dr. Adriat that he should split the groups of according to the severity of the losses, instead of just randomly, but he doesn't seem very keen on the idea... He likes to mix us up, so we meet new people or something idiotic like that." Niko mutters, shaking his head slightly. Though his voice is quite adorable and pleasing to the ear, there is something hollow and sad about it, and at times it almost seems like he's talking just to himself.

(Oh my god, I thought I was going to die of boredom before you joined this thread :P I was gone for a portion of the summer, so a majority if my RP's were abandoned and I'm trying to get a few up and running again! And make some new friends, of couse ;D)

Niko nods slowly, muttering something about the pointlessness of friends under his breath. What was the point in having them when they just turned on you when they'd realize what he'd done, after all? He lets out a soft little sigh as the male asks to clarify his name and he nods slowly, "Yes Sir, that's me... And you probably have, I tend to wander about outside quite a bit; the home life isn't exactly always peachy." He says softly as he glances over at his new found companion of sorts. It felt rather nice to be able to talk with somebody his own age, but he knows it will not last, that he cannot allow it to last; he has condemned himself to a life a pain and loneliness, he feels that he deserves it after what he'd done to his family and the boy he'd believed to be the love of his life.

(Oh don't worry about that :) I'm not always this active either, to be completely honest, and this fall I'll be insanely busy what with this being my senior year. So I have college's to apply to, tryouts to attend and I also have a few invitationals I'll be going to as well ;))

Niko lets out a soft huff at this suggestion and glances away from the dark haired male for a moment. He can't help but chuckle softly though at his anxious continuation of the invitation out and he slowly shakes his head. "I am most definitely not straight... But I don't really do dates anymore..." He murmurs softly as he shifts his eyes back up onto Nikki with a cool, calm expression. Then he feels eyes on him like daggers and he glances up to see their therapist glaring at him, the look quite obviously meaning that he doesn't really have much of a choice in the matter of whether he goes to this little date or not. He lets out a heavy sigh and purses his lips before turning back to Nikki, "But I suppose just this one time I can make an exception. Go ahead, lead the way, I have nowhere else good to be anyways." he mutters blandly, not sounding all that interested.

(I'm on an equestrian team, and we train six days a week So that, plus invitationals and regular horse shows just leaves me generally swamped all the friggin time One of my good friend is on the riding team, she does drama club, works two jobs, goes to school and does school band and marching band. I honestly do not know how she does it, I would die.)

Niko squirms slightly as the other male grabs his hand but he grudgingly closes his fingers around the others and follows him out of the building and into the parking lot. It is a gray and stormy day, the soft rumble of approaching thunder can be heard in the distance, and it is currently misting softly. Niko examines that angry looking storm clouds approaching as Nikki fumbles in his pockets to find his keys. He thanks the boy softly as he climbs into the passenger seat, tucking his legs neatly beneath him before buckling up his seat belt and glancing over at the other.

He flinches a bit himself as the music begins blaring, but quickly goes back to looking calm, cool and collected. He offers a polite little smile at the other and nods along with his blabbering, though he isn't all entirely tuned into what he is saying. When the other asks him this question though he purses his lips thoughtfully and glances down at his hands. "I don't know... A little bit of everything, I suppose." he answers vaguely, twisting his hands uncomfortably in his lap as he wishes he had gotten out of that room a bit faster so he wouldn't have to be in this situation.

(I work in a nursery and I do a lot of babysitting So I have a generally income and all that, and I get to work with kids which is super fun... Most of the time. Until it's time to sleep and then all the kicking and screaming begins And omfg BVB, I looooove them :-*)

Niko nods slowly and glances over at Nikki as he drives along. He takes this time when the other boy is focused on another task to examine him thoroughly. He has to admit, the other is rather handsome in his own opinion... But he could not let that sway his resolve, he could not allow this relationship to escalate very far, he can not allow himself to find somebody that makes him feel happy or whole again, he will not allow it. He frowns thoughtfully at this question and nods slowly, "Uh, yeah, I play the piano and the guitar... I also a sing a little bit, but I don't think that's really considered an instrument." he says quietly as he glances down at his hands and twiddles his thumbs to occupy his shaking hands. "What about you?" he pipes up, glancing back up at the other and continuing to mess around with his fingers.

(Really? For some reason kids have always loved me :P Probably mostly because I adore children; and I know right? My mom hates it, she says it's the devils music >:D)

Niko nods thoughtfully and gazes across the car at the other male, suddenly sort of blurting out, "Well, perhaps you can come visit my place and try out my guitar?" and then a surprised expression moves across his features. He honestly wasn't sure why he'd said that... He hadn't really meant to, that's for sure, but now that the offer is out on the table it isn't as though he could really take it back. He might be a raging asshole on the outside, but in all honesty he really isn't a bad guy, he's just been gifted a set of bad circumstances is all.

(I think he likes country music... Yeah, country music seems rather satanic to me.)

Niko offers a small shrug of his shoulder, biting onto his lower lip and averting his eyes again. He gazes out the window for a moment or two and then the noise of the rather provocative song touches his ear. He can't stop a grin from forming on his generally rather expressionless face and then he lets out a laugh. "Oh god, I met my boyfriend to that song!" He says, sounding actually rather upbeat, if only for a moment as his mind goes back to the day he had met his very first, and possibly last lover. They had been at a party, what his friends had liked to call their annual homosexual mixer, and it was just as awesomely stereotypical as it sounds; the first time they ever met they had been dancing to this very song.

Niko actually giggles softly and nods, "It was definitely interesting... We were at a party that a couple of my friends through, they called it their annual gay mixer. We were both just sort of dancing around, and then this song came on as we found each other and we just stuck together for the night after that, and ended up dating for about a year and a half before..." He pauses then, the joy fleeing his features and his flushed face paling once again. "B-But yeah... He loved this song." he whispers softly in closure, looking down at his hands again.