shinigami record ♦ open, death

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    [ic.] Life had always been kind to miss Clockwork, despite the obstacles thrown at her. It had always let her overcome even her hardest situations. Deaths, cancer, disappearances, you name it. But recently, whatever gods that resided above them had decided that Clockwork's fate was coming to a close, plaguing her with depression, anxiety, and psychosis, making her lose touch with external reality. It was only in a short trip to the present that she had requested sick leave. She knew it wasn't fair on everyone that she would only pop up every few days, and it especially wasn't fair on her colleague, Lily, whom had worked so hard to save so many lives.


    That's why, on that particularly dull, gloomy, drizzly Friday afternoon, the dual-toned medic found herself sitting along the edge of the main island. Clichéd, wasn't it? Maybe she knew that she didn't have more time left, maybe she didn't. I don't really know. One thing she was sure about, however, was that she was upsetting her Clanmates, friends and family alike by walking around in such a sorry state, and let's be honest, she wasn't exactly the most prettiest sight to look at anymore. With a blind, clouded eye and scar over her face and body, a particularly nasty on snaking around her abdomen, she looked years beyond her 20 months, and the half of her body that was colored white was now stained with earth and grass from her lack of motivation to keep clean. Some could even mistake her as an elder.


    The hallucinations were the worst.


    Figures of her loved ones would show up in her darkest moments. There was one, a white feline that, although she couldn't see the face of, she was sure was Gus. Was it his spirit, concerned for her wellbeing? Or was it just her disintegrating mind plaguing her with memories of her dead husband? A Great Dane would also sometimes appear as well, with these yellow-tinted goggles atop it's head.


    "Kou-kun, was that you?" She'd mutter, head cocked to the side quizzically as she looked out over the horizon. Like I had mentioned earlier, it was a particularly miserable day today, with the clouds above a dirty grey, obscuring the sun. Rain had pelted down that morning making the ground slick with mud, and at this point, it hadn't let up at all, soaking the winged feline to the bone as she sat there but she wasn't sure she cared anymore. She wasn't sure what she cared about anymore. She just wanted time to stop, and disappear into a timeless world, with no death, responsibilities, or worries. Yes.. A timeless world sounded nice. Oh.. wait.. There was one, right? The Heat Haze? Ah yes, how could she forget. That damned thing had plagued her friends and family.. Stupid snakes.


    However, amid these thoughts, another figure appeared before her, floating a few feet beyond the edge of the island. It was a brown feline, with stars in her fur, and she smelled of spice and warmth. "Okasa?" Clockwork would question quietly, her dulled red eyes looking wearily towards the figure of her late mother. This one was a hallucination, she was sure of it.. The real Ayaka was stuck in the Heat Haze, doomed for eternity. "It's time to come home, Ayano." It'd say in a gentle, caring tone only a mother could speak in. "You've been such a good girl.. Taking care of Kamen and Kousuke and Tsubomi.." It would pause for a moment, the starry figure gazing at her daughter, "I think it's time you rested."

    And at that moment, Clockwork had everything figured out. Every single thing.


    Rising from her seated position, the medic would take a step closer, another step closer to the edge and the end of her fate, only to stop mid-step, casting a dubious glance over her shoulder. No.. She had responsibilities to take care of.. Children to take care of. She couldn't leave Myth-chan and Redpaw and Winter- "They'll be fine." Ayaka would reply gently, no malice present in her facial expression or tone. And she really meant it. "They're old enough to take care of themselves and understand. They'll be okay."


    "But Lily and Snowpaw too.." The memories she had with her apprentice, the good and the bad, were treasured deep within her. Snowpaw as well. God, how she wished she had helped Snowpaw more than she did. The poor thing was so young, yet with so many responsibilities..


    "It's okay, Ayano. Everything will be okay." Turning back to face her mother, the medic would take her final step on this earth, her heart skipping a beat as plummeted off the edge. This sensation.. The air whispering and whistling in her ears as it snaked through her fur.. It felt all too familiar. She had her wings hanging limply, the wind gliding right over the aerodynamic feathers but she couldn't bring herself to fly. This was her time to go.


    'Myth-chan.. Take care of your sisters. They will need you. Lily, I have no doubt you'll be a great head medicine cat. Snowpaw.. I love you like the daughter I never had.'


    THUMP. A dull sound hitting the earth echoed through the trees, the birds falling quiet.




    ♦ ♦ ♦



    [color=#e10000]"Okasa, I'm home."

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; font-size: 8pt; text-align: justify; line-height: 13px;][fancypost borderwidth=0px; padding: 0px; font-family: cambria; font-size: 22pt; letter-spacing: -1px; float: left; WIDTH: 160PX; height: 20px; padding-top: 6px;]Sweetpaw T.[/fancypost][b] paladin - general tags - [abbr=silver-blue female kitsune (shiny ninetales), female manticore]bodies tags[/abbr] - powers tags - other tags[hr][size=10][font=timesnewroman]Suicide? It looked like it. Sweetpaw had been returning to the staircase when a motion in the distance caught her eye - a white blur hurling towards the earth. Alarmed and instantly recognising this for what it was, the silver blue kitsune teleported over to the crime scene, looking down at the battered corpse in silence, trying to school her features. A fall as far as this had distorted most of Clockwork's features, but the young Paladin still recognised the Head Medic. Frowning, she stood there in silence, knowing that the white feline was already dead.


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    There was an ear splitting, heartbroken screech as Myth came up on the scene of her mother's body. Pain resonated through her skeleton, filling her head with wild thoughts as tears she so carefully didn't cry all these moons spilled out over her cheeks, tinted the same purple as her eyes. Her expression took on one of a frenzied, panicked kit; she was no warrior, no Huntress today. And definitely no paladin.


    She stumbled over to her mother, screaming at her to wake up, shaking her limp shoulders. Eventually just cradling her limp head in her grasp as she lay down beside her. She buried her face in Clo's fur, her screams dying down to an empty, hollow, gasping sob as she tried to beat this pain.


    [color=white]"Don't ever get attached, Myriad. Never once." whispered the voice of her ex-partner, the one that had died all those lifetimes ago. Her Tracker.
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    #riasmyths

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 375px;][justify][font=andale mono]Riddler had also seen the fall. He hadn't known Clockwork, had only ever spotted her once or twice - he couldn't say he was genuinely upset or really even troubled at the medic's passing. Oh, certainly there would mourners, but he wouldn't be one of them. Having headed towards the general vicinity of where Clo would have landed, the tabby examined the body from a distance, expression unreadable and head tipped slightly. As Myth appeared, his hazel gaze followed her. He didn't say anything, for once, as surely whatever came out of his mouth would not be appropriate for the given circumstance.

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    Enigmatickit Dubois-Väinämöinen
    "Our hearts are crowned with the sorrow of a decade of decay"
    Child of Blizzardclan; Male; Vampirism; Attack in bold text    [/fancypost]
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    Death was inevitable. Everyone dies sometime, so there was no point in worrying yourself over it. No point to grieve, and your loved ones wouldn't want you to be sad. That's what Matty kept on telling himself silently, over and over again as he approached the group of people gathered around Clockwork. Clockwork would have been his... grandmother, right? Redpaw's mom? The young vampire swallowed a lump around his throat as he sat down, his eyes glazed over with tears. Why was he almost crying? He didn't know Clockwork very well, she had just been some family member he didn't get to know. Still... something hurt. It was a painful sensation in his chest, and it made his breathing labored. Was this... sorrow? Matty didn't know how to express himself properly, so he simply sat there; trying desperately not to cry.
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    hakuna had not known clockwork that well at all, having only requested to get her to help with mami's wounds at one point or another; however, there he sat, mystified and holding back tears that threatened to erupt from his luminaries. Had he just watched someone die? His thoughts were telling him yes, while his heart was telling him no. She had already been dead. To commit suicide meant the person that was originally there was gone. Changed by the world's horrid crimes on the mind. He sat there quietly beside Riddler, casting a sidelong glance into the trees to hold himself together.
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    [align=center][size=18][font=times new roman][color=#ffee3c]CHAMOMILETEA [i]!

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    [font=times new roman][sup][color=white]Sobbing track OMG
    Will post once off mobile. ;^;


    #chamamileteamoe

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    Penguin Joe

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    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; bordercolor=transparent; borderwidth=; width: 485px; height: 150px; overflow: auto;][justify][size=9pt]Clockwork, of all people? Clockwork? The medic who had survived so much torture and trauma at the hands of the Dominion? She was the last person Penguin Joe would have expected to pass, but alas, here she was. The penguin was actually about to call for Clockwork, to tell her to get over here, check this out, prepare for burial and all that, but the truth hit him like a cannonball. Clockwork was no more. "Well, this is a dismal sight.." Murmured PJ as he walked slowly over, looking down with a sorrowful expression toward the dead feline. "It was an honour to fight by your side." [/fancypost]
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    [font=georgia][size=6pt][color=transparent](c)bokeh

    [/size]

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    It wasn't an understatement to say that the unknown was scary. Would it be dark and eerie, or would it be bright and wonderful? Would it be an endless vortex of nothing, or would there be sunshine and desceased family and friends to greet you to the afterlife? Nobody knew anything about it, life after death. Except for Snow.


    When most people say that they had been to hell and back, they meant it metaphorically. But Snowpaw? She prefered not to talk about it - in fact she despised even thinking of it. But you can't kill an idea, you can only bury it with other thoughts and memories. And with time, that only made things worse.


    It had been dark for a while. She had been lying in her spot, obviously dead, when she had opened her eyes. Light flooded around her and she could see a whole new world. Her family were in front of her, all smiling because their daughter had come home. Their little Pastelkit had come home. But with every second that had passed, Snow had realised that heaven wasn't the place for her. Everyone around her was dead, yet she felt alive. She possessed a new body and came back to life. Not a reincarnation mind, it was more of a "new start." But to get to the point, did Snowpaw really want Clockwork there? Would the older femme go to heaven, the same place that she had been in?


    But despite everything, death was inevitable. One day, everybody was going to die. And yes, you could hop around from body to body escaping death, but was that really living? Just like her mother had said years ago, "just because you're breathing, doesn't mean that you're living."


    And lately, Snowpaw had been left wondering if she was actually living. Yes she was alive, but inside, oh inside she was beaking, falling apart. To her, the hardest part of living was taking the breaths to stay. She had contemplated multiple times, of ending everything. But then she saw Shootingblanks. Then she saw Clo and Hakuna and Rec and everybody whom she deeply cared for. Even if they didn't care for her, she cared for them. And she couldn't leave them alone in the world to feel the same way that she did. But even with these thoughts on her mind, she got by and did her duties. She had gone to see Lily and Clockwork multiple times, but nothing had seemed to work. Perhaps she was destined to be a faliure, a waste of space.


    These days, the deputy spent most of her time walking, or climbing trees. Tree climbing had been a habit of Mosaicsun's, one of which Snow had seemed to have adopted. That daft old tabby - climbing trees and hanging with squirrels when she was supposed to be doing leadership things. She had returned the other day, but she didn't come outside much. In fact, Snowpaw hardly ever saw her adoptive mother upon her return. Why? Well Snow wasn't too sure. For months she had prayed for her mother's return, yet when she finally did come back, their communication had just sort of stopped.


    Plodding forward, the short feline glanced at her paws as she trudged through the grizzly weather. If only she had elemental powers - then she could sort out this ghastly weather. But when she heard voices, the deputy fluttered over and flicked the preciptation off her delicate, feathered wings. At first, she didn't see what was wrong, then she saw it. Her azure gaze fell upon Clo and she fell to her knees.


    She screamed. She howled to the sky, feeling her throat burn and her heart ache as tears poured down her face. Why had this happened? Was this her fault? Snowpaw was cursed, wasn't she? That was why everybody that she loved left her. Snow simply sat there for a while, choking on her tears as she stared at the, now former, head medic's body. The salty, translucent tears stained her white cheeks as she simply sat there, wondering what she should do. She was so useless! Deputies were supposed to be strong and mentally stable - they were supposed to take care of their clan and be brave heroes. Well Snowpaw was none of that. Just another mouth to feed, just a waste of space.


    After a long pause, she pulled herself to her paws and edged ever so closer to Clo. She knew it was too late, but that wouldn't stop her from checking for a pulse. Searching for any sign that perhaps there was still hope. She soon stopped and slumped back once again, biting down on her paw to hold back her tears.


    What on earth would the clan do without miss Clo? She came to the rescue when anybody was sick, she couldn't just leave! The clan needed her - Snow needed her.


    As she drew her paw away from her maw, the feline noticed that she had bitten herself so hard that she had drawn blood. Funny, Clo would have been able to treat that, if she was still alive of course. As she watched the scarlet liquid trickle down her arm, Snow was met with another uncomforable memory of the head medicine cat tending to her wounds and conversing with her about plants. Oak leaves, poppy seeds and violets. She had said that Snow would have a good shot of a career in the medicinal field if she really persevered. But look where she was now, a cowardly deputy who couldn't look after her clanmates.


    "C-Clo-" the words slipped off her tongue as she finally wiped tears away from her eyes. "P-Please stay." But alas, her words meant nothing, no pleas nor cries would ever bring her friend back.


    And to think, she had left this world via suicide. She knew that Clockwork had been struggling emotionally, but Snow had no idea that she had felt this terrible. The former medic had gone through so many tortures and lived through so much, it just seemed unfair. Unsheathing her claws, Snow tore at the earth beneath her and winced. This was all too much for her. Why didn't she help Clockwork, this was all her fault.


    This was all her fault.


    Tossing her head up, the femme supressed a sigh and sat up straight. "Rest in peace, Clockwork Tateyama." Snowpaw was well aware that Clockwork had carried multiple surnames, but it was hard to talk properly at the moment and Snow just felt like curling up in a ball and crying.


    Heaven had gained an angel that day - a beautiful, charismatic angel that never deserved her fate. She would never be forgotten, and would live on in the hearts and memories of Blizzardclanners. At least she would be with Gus now.
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    [size=5pt]TEMPLATE ©BOKEH[/size]


    [fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 300px; height: auto;][hr][justify][font=arial][size=8]Clockwork. The female had been her friend for as long as she could remember — starting the Mekakushi Dan, promoting Lily as her apprentice. She was dead now? She couldn't be. Why would that happen?


    Lily knew her friend would have to die sometime, and she would as well, but she wasn't expecting it. She had only wanted to be happy in life, from the very beginning. Clo had helped her with that. When Bany came back, she though she could be happy. That maybe, just maybe, good luck was finally coming her way.


    It was all a lie.


    When she saw the body falling... the feline didn't know what to do. There was nothing she could do. The only thing that came to her mind was to scream. Lily had screamed until it hurt, and even then, it didn't help her at all. She had thought she was stronger than this. Crying, crying only hurt as well. "C-clo..." she murmured, her voice hoarse from screaming. Why? Why did this happen? She... she didn't want this.. she didn't want to think about Clo right now. Clockwork hadn't even been her biological family, but her dying hurt a lot more than all of her family being gone from her life.
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    [sub][align=center]TEMPLATE © WINNIE
    [color=transparent] #maryyk

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; height: auto; width: 327px; text-align: center; margin-top: -5px;]APPRENTICE — INFORMATION — [abbr=shapeshifting (kitsune), conjuring]POWERS[/abbr] — [abbr=attack in #add8e6 or light blue, medium-hard (depends if he's possessed or not)]INTERACTION[/abbr] — [abbr=Japanese musician, dating Mythpaw, half-possessed by a demon named Filthyfrank, has a pet lizard named Salamander Man]OTHER[/abbr]
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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; height: 123px; overflow: auto; width: 325px; text-align: justify; margin-left: -1px; margin-top: -10px;]/my muse is down the drain right now and i want a lot of muse in order to reply to this thread XP
    sad track until later
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    [align=center][sub]TEMPLATE © WINNIE
    [color=#ADD8E6] # tofubby

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    [align=center][ roleplay ] [ thoughts ] [ "telepathy" ]
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    Aella had watched the fall. Right then, her entire world became cracked. Her big sister? N-No, it had to be someone else. Clocky had basically raised her... She couldn't live without Clockwork near her. Her mentor, sister, best friend and mother: it was all Clock had been to her.


    Aella rushed to the scene as quickly as possible, tears running down her face and not daring to hide her grief. She stopped in front of Clockwork, feeling dizzy and afraid.


    "N-No!" Her voice came out rather than her teleptahy. "Clockwork, w-w-wake u-u-up!" She cried to the dead body, but Aella knew it was way too late. There was no saving. She whimpered through her teeth, whispering through the sobs now. "C-Clocky..." She cried, letting her hooves collapse under her as she settled unevenly beside the body through whimpers. "I-I-I w-want to go w-w-with you." SHe murmured shakily to herself, putting her nose in the once soft fur, remembering when she wrapped her warm white sings around her through the hallucinations and tears Aella had once experienced herself.


    Everything was different now. Why would she leave? Not even with a goodbye? Ella remembered being in her old cub body, running around happily with her little lisp and stutter. When Clock was a tabby, joyful and... herself. She remembered the day she got her wings, how Clock helped her through the pain, and soothed her through the nightmares that came with it. Asking to be an adoptive family member. Even the advice on how to deal with loving two people at once, and the pride on her face as she appointed Aella to be a medic apprentice, just as a mother.


    Now, all of her family was dead. All of it, and Aella didn't think it was going to get better anymore.



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    The commotion and voices startled Arcade, and the sight was even more startling as he padded up. The cameo hadn't even had the chance to met the feline, and it pained him to know that he couldn't have helped. No medical knowledge could bring her back, at least that he knew of.




    Letting the others grieve for the one they knew, Arcade hung back with a bowed head, without a single word said. He just felt pain.




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    ooc: ;-;
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    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid red; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 10px; margin-top: -10px;][size=5]❝nihil novi sub sole❞[/size][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid red; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 4px; margin-top: -25px;][size=4]there is nothing new under the sun[/size][/fancypost]

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    aaahh you guys i was in tears reading your posts ;-;
    now i feel guilty ;n; she might come back in november when im less busy, but until then, she'll be chillin' with Gus :^)

    [align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0; width: 400px; height: auto; line-height: 105%; font-size: 12px;][justify]♡ No. No. No.


    Her mother. Her treasured mother. The one person that she looked up to. The one person that she loved. It seemed as if Winterpaw's world had been garnered away from her, ripping her heart out, leaving her as a ghost in the void. She was nothing. She was nothing without her mother.


    Upon noticing the corpse, Winterpaw froze, allowing a few good minutes to figure out what was going on, why everyone was crowding the limp form, and why all this had to happen to her. Letting out a scream, Winterpaw shoved NPC's out of the way, crouching near the form as tears rolled down her cheeks, and Winnie desperately tried waking her up. Shoving her weak paws on her former beating heart. "No.. no.. mom!" She cried out at a whimper, curling up to the form. It seemed as if Clo was closer with Red, and Myth, and everyone else rather than Winterpaw, and now she deserted her? Left her? Winter decided that she was no longer going to be her mother's slave, and with a glare of pure hatred, she padded off, not bothering to say her farewells.

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    [abbr=feliks, blizzardclan, wolf (has other bodies), polish, flower prints, elemental powers, conjuration, super senses, time travel, memory manipulation, growth power, sound manipulation, owns a pony and a pet large dragon with shrink power, has stranger anxiety (rate of it depends on situation), attack in pink, no capture/major injuries/kill]tags[/abbr] -- [abbr=light brown wolf with green eyes, scar on shoulder && generic red phoenix with elemental pelt]appearances[/abbr] -- skill & trait chart -- feliks' bio -- other


    out of all times my muse has to be terrible now nooo D:


    She was... dead. No, Feliks had been around when she was Clockkit, he had been there when she was Clockpaw, he knew that he couldn't die at this moment, but, why did she have to go before him? It was unfair, and what was worse, he couldn't even show his true grief. He knew he couldn't let his emotions get in the way, he had been told that several times by the 'unnamed' wraith, yet, it was still a very difficult thing to do. [b]"Clo..."[/b] he murmured in shock, trying his best to get a grip on the situation. "Clo... no...." he stated, rushing towards the female's body.


    I'm sorry, he mentally heard, the mental voice somber yet unshaken. Of course, the wraith had never learned what Clockwork was like. "She deserves a funeral, she served as a medic for a long time," he stated, slowly closing his eyes. Even if she hadn't been around for duty recently, it didn't stop her efforts from the past being recognised by the wolf.


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    MOBILE INFORMATION

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; height: auto; text-align: center; letter-spacing: -2px; margin-top: -37px;]Nymeria [/fancypost]
    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; height: auto; text-align: center; margin-top: -15px;]BLIZZARDCLAN — WARRIOR — EASTERN TIMBER WOLF — POWERS — OTHER
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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; height: auto; width: 455px; text-align: justify;]The screams pierced through the silence that held the old territory, jabbing at Nymeria's ears with icy fingers. Screams that were evidently grievous and unprepared for the horror witnessed. Screams that caused Nym's head to shoot up with unprecedented speed, ears standing to attention as they strained to pick up anything else. Nothing. The moist blackness of her nose next attempted to distinguish what had caused the anguish and soon recoiled as blood scent touched it's surface.


    Her legs needed no telling to head towards the scene, sprinting wildly across the ashen snow as she tracked the threatening smell right beneath the floating pieces of land they now called home. But they slowed when the scent got stronger, slower and slower until she stopped and sniffed again. The presence of clanmates was undeniable though so was the presence of death. Someone they knew well had died; respected, even. Did she dare to step further? Of course. She was a Stark and the loss of others shouldn't be something to send her back into herself.


    Stepping forwards, the timber wolf continued her trek forwards- albeit slowly and with a caution not entirely their previous. Though, no matter how slow, no amount of time could have allowed her to guess who had fallen.


    A gasp, unbidden, stabbed sharp and cold into her throat. Clockwork? No. With eyes widened and planted firmly on the limp body of the former head medic, Nymeria found that her breathing had stopped from the shock of it all- the gasp she had not thought to release. Clockwork, or Clockpaw, as she had so often mixed up at the time of her ceremony. The feline was someone Nym thought of as a good acquaintance, if not a friend, and had the rare title of someone the wolf placed trust in. For a while, Nym placed the responsibility of her wounds in the former medic's paws solely. She could not be simply and swiftly dead.


    She couldn't pretend to have known the medic, however. She could not grieve. Yes, she had gotten on well with the younger female and yes, she had even enjoyed the medic's company and her brother's but that gave her no reason nor right to grieve, yes? Yes.


    As much as her heart ached, she would not mourn. Thus, the wolf gathered her wits about her and forced her limbs to head towards Feliks where she eventually settled by the male's side. If she would not allow herself to crumple, she would at least seek strength, even if her friend didn't know it. [b]"I agree, a memorial of some sorts, too." A frown wrinkled the she-wolf's brow as she stared at the body and soon her maw opened once more. "I'll fetch some lavender." They did not want the corpse stinking, after all, now did they? That and she needed to breathe for a few minutes before she was prepared to fully deal with the situation. Thus, the wolf turned and disappeared back into the forest.



    [ooc] omg clockwork was one of my favourite characters and it's so sad to see her gone. We'll miss having you around, aya!


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