Take me away. The monster lies (Romance, Pafp)

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    The next morning Hunter had woken up and was crying loudly which was unlike him. Now you could tell the difference when he was sick, badly sick he wouldn't waste energy on crying but now he was well he was doing whatever he liked. Alyssa sighed as she woke up and she started breast feeding him.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 426px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]By the time hunter and Alyssa would wake up Kurt woke be nowhere to be seen. Instead he was in the living room, forcing himself not to cry. He had woken up half way through the night last night, and soemthifn had just struck him. Something from the past had just switched in his mind, and he was a mess. He had woken up very early and had locked himself in the bathroom for hours, absolutely balling his eyes out. Soemthifn wasn't right with him as he sat on the couch numbly, staring at the blank screen on the television. [/fancypost]

    Alyssa frowned she was slightly scared at him missing. She picked Hunter up as she got up and then she put him gently in the crib before walking downstairs she saw him a mess on the couch and a tear fell down her cheek "Kurt...kurt please tell me whats wrong?"She asked her heart twinged in pain seeing him like that. She walked to him and put her arms around him wanting to make him ok.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 426px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]All Kurt did was shrug his shoulders, staring numbly ahead as he breathed Shakir, obviously wanting to cry. He didn't know what was wrong. He had an idea, but he didn't want it to be that. He just forced himself to think that he was just having a bad day.[/fancypost]

    "Don't lock me out"She said letting go of him she wiped her tears and just stared at him before backing away slightly "Kurt...pleas we don't need this..Hunters going to be fine.."She reminded confused as to why he was upset.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 426px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]Kurt just nodded as he looked down for a momment. It was seconds though before he would get up. He couldn't stand being in that house right now. He knew why he was upset deep down, but he wouldn't dare say it. He would never. He moved past her in a seemingly haze as he moved outside, just need dung to clear his mind. Something was up with him and it was ibvious. [/fancypost]

    Alyssa just broke down in tears Why was he acting so weird? Was he ok? Was it the kids? was it her? she went to the bathroom anc clutched both sides of the sink as she looked in the mirror continuesly crying. She hated that he wouldn't tell her.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 388px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;] Kurt just felt like he couldn't tell her. After eveyrhing she had said to him about him having to be strong he wouldn't dare trouble her with his problems. Something had just switched in his brain and suddenly he was a mess. He had an idea of why, but he hated to think that that was the reason. The reason he was like this. He would just walk in a seemingly haze for a while, returning onky after a short time.m[/fancypost]

    Alyssa had calmed down not sad anymore but angry. How could they keep going if they didn't trust each other with things? She tried to keep calm badly and walked into Rivers room to play with her so she wouldn't have to deal with Kurt.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 388px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe. He felt like his world was collapsing as he entered the house. Soemthifn want right. Something defeirnky wasn't rught. He felt himself breathe heavily as he leant against the wall for a momment, just barely managing to close the door behind him as he suddenly felt incredibly faint. He had no idea what was wrong with him. With his mind seeming our of control his body had stumbled to the kitchen, gripping onto the walls. His impulse seemed to explode as his hands gripped around a glass on the table, instantly throwing jt to the ground, kurt beginning to break down. What was wrong eith him? Why was he doing this, Everythin was fine?! He tried to convince himself as bag he wasn't thinking what he was thinking deep down, what was causing him this, as he colapsed against the wall, finally trying to call out for Alyssa.
    [/fancypost]

    When she heard the glass table smash she jumped. She suddenly got ver scared as mamorys of Vince and his violence flooding her mind once more. She slowly went downstairs, shaking slightly when she saw Kurt against the wall with broken glass everywhere she kept her distance "What the hell.."She said she had never seen him this angry that he would take it out on the furniture. She wondered if this was triggered by Vince breaking in the other night.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 388px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]As soon as he heard her voice- as soon as he saw her he broke. He broke in hysterical sobs, coving his face in his hands. He just couldn't stop crying. he just cryed and cryed and cryed, his sobs loud as he tried to stop. What the hell was wrong with him? He hated himself. He hated himself. he fresking hated himself. He kept repeating those words in his head as he tryed to clam down to no Avil. [/fancypost]

    Alyssa knew there was something dangerously wrong with him and seeing him like this hurt her badly. She wanted a drink, a razor blades or those stupid little pink pills. Anything to stop the pain. She walked over to him slowly and knelt down "Kurt you have to be honest with me now..or things will get worse"she warned just wanting to know why he was acting sostrange all day.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 388px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]Kurt was a mess as he looked up at her, his blonde hair falling in his face slightly. "You hate me!" He suddenly yelled at her, crying at the same time. "You hate me Alyssa! I'm not good enough for you! You hate me!" He began to yell, crying heavily as his hands pulled st his hair. He looked like he was going crazy. She hated him. She didn't love him. He was too smmotional. He couldn't be strong like a real man. [/fancypost]

    Alyssa was shocked she hated it when he yelled "NO! Kurt theres no way I can hate you!"She said loudly as she wrapped him in her arms not caring if he tried to fight her. "Your such an idiot sometimes..This is because Vince showed up again isn't it? You think I would love him over you after everything he did to me and put me through"She said a tear fell from her eye. "I made my choice when I said yes"She said. Secretly she wasn't even sure what to do anymore she loved Kurt. BUt everything was getting too much for her.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 388px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]Kurt thought she was lying. He knew she hated him- that's what he thought. Maybe she loved him, but bpt like she used to. He knew it. He just looked in we eyes, before suddenly he was trying to push her of him. "You're lying! Your a lier! You don love me like you used to! I'm so stupid, hoe could you love me! I can see it in your eyes Alyssa, you don't know anymore!" He had yelled, crying heavily. It was obvious that Vince had braught this on, that it had got under his skin. But what he was saying how seemed to be weirdly coming out. [/fancypost]

    Alyssa stood up she felt so hopeless she just wiped her face and walked away. She grabbed her jacket from the coat rack and headed upstairs. "Hey Mommys going away for a little bit"She said to River hugging her before going to the nursery. She picked Hunter up and planned to take him to the hospital.
    She side glanced at Kurt before taking her wedding ring off and walking out This was it..The end..the end of such a happy yet painful road. And I can't stop the pain. I can't fix him even when I promised. I will make sure Hunters happy and then..I will leave like im supposed to.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 388px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]Kurt was incredibly confused as he had seen her walk away, fearing the worst. Was he right? Did she not love him? He only cried harder as he covered his face in his hands, his back against the wall as he sobbed. He was so upset. She didn't love him anymore. She didn't love him- no one could ever love him. He ad cryed when she was upstairs, but as soon as she was back again, as soon as she had taken the wedding ring off.. Kurt wanted a gun, wanted a rope, wanted a bridge he could jump from. No one could ever love him. He was unloved from the day he was born. No one wanted him. He sobbed and sobbed as he ended up laying on the floor of the kitchen, his body numb. Everyone hated him. No one loved him. [/fancypost]

    Alyssa was doing her best to stay strong for Hunter. She loved kurt. But ever since that day at the airport on that first tour she couldntgo to. TheoldKurt was left behind and the new one replaced him. And she still loved those big blue eyes and soft blonde hair but she tried and she couldn't help him She had tried for years and both of them had stared death in the face. Now she took Hunter to hospital she dropped him off at her brothers before walking to the same old park they used to go to.


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; width: 388px; color: snow; line-height: 100%; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase;]Kurt couldn't stop crying. Everything seemed to be blacking out and coming back again as he stumbled to the bedroom, passing a sleeping river. His sobs were hysterical as he gripped at his hair, wanting to stab himself in the chest. Why could nobody ever life him? What was wrong eith him? From the day he was born Kurt was shifted between family members, friends, everything, before he was thrown out to life on the streets when he was older. His own parents didn't even want him. They didn't love him. No one would ever love him. Falling against the bed he had crawled to his bedside tale, opening the bottom draw and shoving through junk to the bottom of the draw, finding the old packet of cigarettes and the lighter. Soon he was viciously smoking the cigarettes. As soon as he had finished one, kurts mind seemed to take over. He had pressed the still lit cigarette against thes kin of his arms, wincing horribly in pain we he did so. He kept doing it though. Every cigarette he smoked was a new discusting na dhoriebky oainful wound in his skin. He needed punishing. He needed punishing from his unloveable self. [/fancypost]