"i'm sorry that i couldn't get to you." - private w/ dave

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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; color: black; font-size: 10px;][justify]OOC: I'm listening to "Say Something" and "Safe and Sound" while typing this and I'm crying on the inside. Niall, what have I done? Dave is a cutie who deserves to be happy and all he gets is shit.
    I haven't done a human AU with these two in such a long time; it feels good to do it again.


    IC: Dirk hadn't meant to leave Dave alone.


    It had just happened so quickly - one moment he was with his head on his shoulders and the next, he was without one. Dirk knew that he should have done something to get Jack away from him yet all of those thoughts had forced their way out of his head as soon as he was jumped by the mutant sword-wielding wolf. It hadn't been painful at all, to the blonde's surprise, and he actually ended up dying an extremely quick death. That was the relieving part. Dirk hoped that Jack had only been after him but by the looks of it, the mutant seemed to be after Dave as well, which certainly didn't make things better considering the fact that Dave would probably get tortured by the other. Ha, not on Dirk's watch. Dirk was dead, yes, but he wasn't going to let Jack dare hurt Dave. Dave was still Dirk's responsibility and there was no way that he was going to allow Dave to get hurt.


    Despite the fact that Dirk never showed it, he did care for Dave. A lot. Dave was his entire world. Ever since he adopted the Knight of Time, he had made a promise to protect Dave with all his life. Dirk knew Dave. He knew about his insecurity, he knew how he hid all of his emotions, and he knew how he was terrified of being alone. Dirk supposed that it was because of what had happened in Dave's past. The coolkid had been bullied in school; both physically and mentally because of his rather strange and unusual eye color. Dirk had tried hard to suppress the bullying yet his efforts didn't seem to do a thing. What made matters worse was that Dave had resorted to hiding it by pestering Dirk for shades of his own. Dirk had obliged, thinking that he was being a good big brother by doing so, but then he realized that Dave grew so attached to those shades, he was too scared to go anywhere without them. To make matters worse, Dirk was hardly ever home due to working hard, therefore leaving Dave alone a lot of the time, which most likely sparked the psychological feeling that Dave had that he was always alone. But now, Dirk was going to be there for Dave.


    The Strider had his head on due to the fact that he was technically a paranormal being and therefore had the ability to hide his injuries. Anyways, this was most likely a dream, so he was able to get touched and touch others as well. Finally, after a couple of minutes of searching, Dirk had finally managed to spot Dave in the distance. "Dave," Dirk called to the younger of the two, hoping to catch his attention despite the fact that the older was dead and pretty much a spirit at this point. He hoped that Dave wouldn't be too mad at him. Yes, Dirk did lie when he said that Striders were invincible, but that was an entirely different story. [/fancypost]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-align: justify; width: 350px;]( track, will edit when i have the time.
    noooo dave should suffer.
    damn it, now you've got me listening to these sad songs ahhh )

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-align: justify; width: 350px;]( ew double post )


    He was gone.


    There was no going back in time to prevent it from happening. There was no going back in time just so he could tell his brother how much he loved him and how thankful he was for all of the efforts Dirk had made just for Dave's well-being. He just wanted to...be with him again, even if it meant for only a couple of hours. Dave missed Dirk. He missed him so much that it hurt. Everything hurt. The Knight of Time felt as if he was always getting stabbed repeatedly with a sword, which was most likely an effect of his recent time travels or whatever. He still felt...horrible. He had been sleeping less, hardly found the time to do things that he enjoyed, and overall felt like a loser. Ugh. Of course, Dave was a natural at hiding such emotions, so he was suffering silently, so to speak. However, now he guessed that it was no secret that he missed Dirk. A lot. Dirk was his only family - Dave's parents had put him up for adoption (or so to speak) and Dirk was the only one who had been willing to care for him. Dave owed Dirk a lot yet now he supposed that his older brother would never know how grateful he really was.


    Dave hadn't been doing much when he heard a familiar-sounding voice call out his name. At first, Dave though that he was imagining things, so he simply took a look around the area, his shaded crimson eyes falling upon a figure. Ha, the figure looked just like Dirk...same height, hair, and shades. Dave could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat and for a couple of good seconds, all he did was stare at Dirk. He looked...okay. He was okay. But dead. Dave wasn't sure if he was angry, upset, or happy. His emotions were all a jumbled mess at the moment and all he was able to do was stare. Before he could even stop himself, he began to cry. Hot tears spilled down his cheeks, making his breath hitch in his throat and his cry come out like a sob. He had made yet another impulsive action by rushing up to Dirk, his red cape flying behind him. He attempted to tackle his older brother in a hug yet due to being shorter and somewhat weaker, he didn't make too much progress with that tackle.


    "Dirk," The thirteen-year-old sobbed, holding Dirk tightly, almost as if he was afraid that his older brother would disappear for good if he let go. This was the first time that Dave was actually using Dirk's first name in front of him - normally, Dave would just call Dirk "Bro" but since this was an important moment, Dave decided to let it slide. "Dirk, you fucking l-liar! You fucking promised! I don't want to be alone, please don't go. Please don't go, you shithead!" At this point, Dave's breaths were short hiccups and the tears were spilling out faster than he could imagine. He was legit sobbing, which felt rather weird since he hadn't done that in a while. Dave was afraid. He was afraid of losing Dirk all over again. He was afraid of being alone. It wasn't like Dave to get so worked up and it was quite clear that he had cared about Dirk a lot despite claiming that he could give two less shits.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; color: black; font-size: 10px;][justify]
    Dirk had expected such a reaction and wrapped his arms around Dave, holding the smaller's frame against his own taller one. He ran a hand through the younger's light blonde hair, which was a comforting gesture that Dirk often used to help Dave calm down. Man, he would totally miss this. Dirk knew that he didn't have much time, especially since he was dead, so he might as well make the most of what was happening. Dirk did feel bad about getting killed so easily yet he knew that it wasn't technically his own fault. Actually, it most likely was. Dirk knew that Jack was still out there and would most likely come after Dave. Too bad that Dirk wouldn't be there to protect his little brother from the wrath of the canine mutant. Of course, Dirk knew that Dave knew how to take care of himself. Dirk tightened his grip on the younger, saying, "I know, I know, I'm an asshole." It wasn't really an answer but Dirk was sticking to his own apology sequence. Anyways, it wasn't like this was the first time that Dirk had said something like this.


    It was rather heartbreaking to see Dave cry. Dirk knew that Dave didn't cry a lot but when he did, it was absolutely heart-wrenching. "Hey, lil' man, c'mon. Smile for me. Don't leave me hanging," Dirk said, attempting a smile as he bent his knees so he would be able to reach his younger brother's height. The elder blonde had always attempted to cheer Dave up in the past by doing stupid things that normally made Dave laugh. However, that was rare. Dirk normally told Dave to suck it up and be a man, which wasn't good advice at all considering the fact that crying was a natural response to pain. Hey, Dirk had tried to be a good older brother but apparently, his personality had made it way more difficult than it should be. Dirk wanted to stay alive and make sure that Dave was okay but he assumed that all he could do was spend this time with him and that was it.


    Whatever was going to happen in Dave's life, Dirk was certainly going to kill Dave's new boyfriend if he failed to take care of his little brother. [/fancypost]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-align: justify; width: 350px;]Dave continued to sob rather hysterically, feeling as if he was hugging a simple image instead of his real brother. He didn't want Dirk to leave. He honestly didn't. Even though he called his brother an asshole at times and was pretty mean, he never really meant anything of it. When Dirk began speaking to him again, Dave did try his best to smile but it was so difficult since his facial features didn't allow him to do so. He just ended up doing this weird half-smile for a couple of seconds before it faded back into his frown, "I-I can't. Y-y-you can't leave. Dirk, I'm so s-sorry! It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me," The thirteen-year-old sank into his brother, knowing well enough that he didn't have much time with him. This was a dream. Dirk was a ghost and wasn't really there. Anyways, Dave really meant it when he thought that it should have been him. Dave died way more times than Dirk so he was actually used to the painful clutches of death. Dave just felt that if he was the one who died, he would have came back. Dirk couldn't, right? Dave wasn't sure but he had a horrible feeling that it was the answer he dreaded.


    At this point, his sobs had subsided to mere silent cries, which was a sign that he was beginning to calm down despite the fact that he still seemed to be in hysterics. Dave knew that he had to start accepting things like this but he couldn't help it, especially since Dirk was right in front of him. Dave was well aware that it was okay to cry in front of Dirk since he was a Strider. Striders could cry in front of each other as long as they kept it a secret from others. After all, they were supposed to be the tough people and they only expressed emotion whenever they had both promised to keep it a secret. Dave would miss that. He honestly would.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; color: black; font-size: 10px;][justify]OOC: You'll be good to post after Niall posts! Thank you for the track.


    IC: Dave's weak attempt of a smile would have been funny if he hadn't been a crying mess. Dirk had tried to laugh it off but found himself unable to do it due to the state his younger brother was in, so he simply ran his hand through Dave's hair again, deciding to at least keep him like that until he managed to calm down. He knew that the first couple of days would be incredibly hard for Dave - but hey, loss was never fun. It was amazing how Dave had managed to keep stoic despite all of what had happened to the thirteen-year-old. Dave had experienced himself dying, saw others die, and risked everything to keep his friends alive. If that wasn't the definition of strong, then Dirk didn't know what was. If Dave had managed to do that, then that certainly meant that Dirk had raised him right in one way or another. That was good enough for the taller blonde. He had always been worried that he was raising Dave the wrong way and, thankfully, his worries were proved wrong.


    "Hey, if it were you, then I'd be worse off," Dirk said rather sternly yet his voice held a certain sympathy that made it distinguish from actual sternness. He then let go of his brother but held him by the shoulders, a small smile forming across his lips despite the fact that he knew that he was going to be forced out of the dream bubble soon. Dirk then said rather reluctantly, "I guess my time here is almost up. Do me a favor, little bro. Make me more proud than I already am." With that said, Dirk gave Dave's shoulders a comforting squeeze before letting go, taking a couple of steps back. His image flickered a little, as if undecided, before he gave a final nod towards Dave and disappeared completely, most likely off to invade another person's dream bubble. Just because he was dead didn't mean that he couldn't cause some mischief in other dream bubbles. Too bad that his time in dream bubbles were limited, which was only proven when Dirk was forced out of Dave's. [/fancypost]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-align: justify; width: 350px;]( Now you can post! uwu )


    Then, just like that, he was gone. Before Dave could do or say anything, the image of Dirk faded until he was no longer in front of Dave. The dream bubble faded as well, which was a sign that Dave was waking up. This time, Dream Dave didn't bother doing anything but waiting for the bubble to finally fade and get destroyed, his crimson yet shaded gaze averted to the ground as he watched it dissolve below him. Was Dirk gone forever? Was this just a way to punish Dave or something? The blonde and young teen had no idea and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know. The outcome might not be anything that he actually wanted to hear. The dream bubble eventually fully dissipated and Dave felt himself falling into the darkness below, which wasn't as scary as it seemed considering now that he knew that this was just a dream and whatever happened here didn't matter.


    Dave woke up on his bed, his iPhone next to him and his pillow hugged tightly against his body. Well, it seemed as if he had been hugging a pillow instead of the real Dirk. Great. There were tear-stains on Dave's cheeks but he didn't really care about those and instead leaned over to grab his shades, which were unfortunately out of his reach. Damn it. The thirteen-year-old sat up from the bed, untangling the covers from his legs. According to his iPhone, it was about two in the morning. Without even thinking, Dave threw his iPhone across the room, not caring about the noise it made. He then grabbed the pillow and hugged his knees into his chest, sobbing quietly into the thin fabric. He didn't want to consider what he had just witnessed to be a dream. It was more of a nightmare.


    Dave then tilted his attention to his iPhone, which was buzzing rather loudly at the corner of the room. John was attempting to pester him, it seemed. Damn him. Dave was in no mood to answer. In fact, the only thing he was in the mood for was going back to sleep but without the stupid dreams involved.


    shades in his hand, he lifted them up to his face, peering into the dark lenses before lowering them and walking over to the bedside, looking a little bit concerned for once as he looked down at dave. well, a little bit concerned. frowning, he inquired, handing off the shades to him, " WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? " the boy's black hair was a little messy, but whatever. it was so early in the morning, anyway. " YOU WERE MAKING NOISES IN YOUR SLEEP. " karkat moved to sit on the end of the bed, eyeing his boyfriend as if curious. cautiously, as if unsure, he crawled closer and went to wrap his arms around the other. he wasn't particularly good at comforting others, actually, he never had before.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-align: justify; width: 350px;]That was a good question. What was the matter with him? Dave had never acted like this before, even when he had seen himself die multiple times. What was wrong with him? The teen took his shades, putting them on even though there was literally no reason to due to the fact that it was completely dark inside and the shades only made things worse. "There's not somethin' the matter with me, I just..." Dave's voice trailed off as he realized that there was absolutely no way to properly hide this. Anyways, he didn't want to lie. When Dirk died, he told Terezi that he didn't really care. When she claimed that he was a hero, Dave had just simply denied it, saying that Dirk was one and that he wasn't. It was true, or so he felt that it was. When Dave felt Karkar wrap an arm around him, he just hugged the pillow tighter to his chest so much that it began to hurt. He was completely silent for mere moment before asking, "He's not coming back, right?" Dave normally would never say something like this but he supposed that he could be as vague as possible while venting or something like that.

    [font=courier]
    he couldn't tell him to suck it the hell up. not in this situation.
    karkles put a hand over dave's head as he cradled him close. for a few moments, he was completely silent. goddamn terezi had told him what dave had said, though he had already told him once before. he highly doubted that this was the case; it was plain as day, especially with dave's next few words: " he's not coming back, right? "
    dave had come back before, but he had no clue if dirk would or not. probably the latter. so, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, karkat answered in a gentle voice, " NO. " he wished he could cheer him up, but he honestly wasn't good at such a thing, as stated before. " TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT'S ON YOUR MIND, DAVE. " karkat didn't like it when he was so sad and in tears, though if nepeta or anyone else asked, he'd say otherwise, musing that dave was a lot less annoying when he was upset. typical him.
    recently, he'd been a little bit closed off from everyone, and he couldn't really say why. more nightmares, and plus, he was worried about dave. karkles wanted him to be okay with every fiber of his being, but once again, he found himself to be helpless in the matter. now romance, that was a little different. he could give any kind of advice on that. but, what could a person like him possibly say to someone who was in mourning? dave was stubborn, arrogant, and ignorant, but to a fault. the side of him that he had gotten to know was a lot more annoying, in the best way. he missed that part of him.
    his eyes glancing slowly down to the strider who was crumpled up in his arms, karkat's fingers clutched tightly on the end of his cape, instinctively. god, he hated seeing him like this.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-align: justify; width: 350px;]Dave had sort of expected the answer to be "no." What else would it be? Even though Dave had come back from death multiple times, that was only because he was the Knight of Time and could therefore just go back if he found himself dead or something. That was when dead Daves began to pile up, and those were pretty bad. The blonde was silent for a mere couple of moments, clearly unsure if he should actually say what was really on his mind, lie about it, or simply just be extremely vague. After all, he didn't really want Karkat to know that he missed Dirk, right? No, that would be showing too much negative emotion and Dave was way too chill for that. Well, he believed that he was way too chill for that, but he really wasn't. Dave was cool, yes, but that didn't mean that he wasn't allowed to feel emotions or anything like that. Still, maybe it would be nice to actually tell someone about it?


    "There's nothing much...that jackass just decided to pay me a visit and then disappear like 'lmao bitch, bye' and never see me again," Dave was explaining it in a really weird way but then again, he never explained things the right way. It was actually quite difficult for him to do so because whenever he tried to do it in a different way, he always ended up saying something weird in one way or another. Whatever. At least he actually got his main point across. Anyways, he didn't mean to call Dirk such a name, it just slipped out from Dave's pent up feelings of anger and sadness. Still, Dave still did think that Dirk was a jackass in one way or another, especially since Dirk had sort of admit it earlier. Of course, Dave didn't really mean it.


    he frowned sterly, replying, " HE WAS MURDERED. HE DIDN'T LEAVE YOU ON PURPOSE. " from what dave had told him, he seemed to be pretty close with him, so he couldn't see the logic of why he would purposely leave.
    karkat hugged him a little tighter, staring straight ahead and letting the other cry into the pillow. dirk was probably his role model, or something of the like. he was older, after all. sighing flatly, he waited, wishing that dave would just stop crying. the boy went to gently lift the shades from his face, wiping at the tears as best as dave would allow him.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-align: justify; width: 350px;]Dave honestly felt a tiny bit awkward just sobbing his feelings out but he supposed that if there was no other apparent way to do so, the so be it. To be quite honest, he found himself actually not caring, which was strange because he always seemed to care in one way or another in these situations. Then again, why should he? His brother was dead, Jack was still out there, and Dave honestly had no clue of what to do instead of go into a little emotional breakdown. The more logical side of Dave recognized the fact that Dirk probably didn't want to leave in the first place and left rather unwillingly. The less logical side believed that Dirk just left because he was Dirk and was an ass like that. "Can you not tell anyone about this?" Dave asked, his crimson eyes being drawn from the comfort of the pillow as Karkat had seemed to take the chance to actually attempt to wipe his tears away even though they were spilling like a waterfall at this point. Dave didn't want anyone other than Karkat knowing what happened, and that was for obvious reasons.


    " WHO WOULD I TELL? "
    it was his only response. it was his own way of saying: your secret is safe with me. karkat had only dave. no one else cared to really even be around him, probably because they couldn't handle his crabbiness. but, that was kinda the point; push others away so he wouldn't get hurt. dave, though, was different. he never felt so strongly about anyone in his entire life, and even when he had tried, he stayed somehow. so, karkat had accepted the fact that dave and him were just going to be together, and even though karkat was scared, he was comforted all the while.
    what a strange emotion.
    " STOP CRYING, " he demanded, though his voice was still gentle, " JUST STOP IT .. PLEASE ... " karkles pried the pillow from him and tossed it aside, going to hug dave as best as he could. the whole affection thing was still new to him.