ᶫᵃʸ ᵈᵒʷᶰ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ᵃ ᶰᵃᵏᵉᵈ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵇᵒᵈʸ [ᵖ]

[fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: georgia; font-style: none; font-size: 18pt; margin-bottom: -4px; letter-spacing: -2px; text-align: center; color: white; text-shadow: 0px 0px 10px snow;]now she's looking at the shake in her hand[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: none; font-style: none; font-size: 8pt; margin-bottom: -4px; margin-top: -10px; letter-spacing: 0px; text-align: center; color: black;]THINKING HOW MUCH MORE OF LIFE CAN SHE STAND[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px transparent; width: 520px; text-align: font-family: palatino linotype; justify; font-size: 10px; color: white;]A dampness pressed itself against her cheek, the feel of the substance slick and warm. It battled with the frigid tile flooring she was curled up on, trying desperately to keep its warmth as frost surrounded it. The girl watched idly, her nimble fingers curled limply at the base of her throat while the opposite hand lie facing the ceiling at her side. Her eyes were dull, dead even, the sparks of color within the glacial orbs faded to a mere gray. Her skin was pallid, her dyed black hair returning to the bleached color she was born with at the roots, there was no meat on her bones. She resembled a tree in winter: frail and stripped of its vibrancy.

As Nevada examined the liquid she was atop of, she could feel that the t-shirt, Gavin's t-shirt, was stained with it, coloring the white fabric a sickly yellow and pressing it heavy against her chest. A rivulet of ice cold fear pinched her blood and nerves. If he came home and found his shirt in this manner, he would surely punish her. She could never guess the punishment anymore. At first, it was just hits and slaps and hair pulling, but as time went on it escalated to worse things, things her conscious wouldn't even allow her to remember they were so harmful. After a moment of listening to her labored, fast breaths, the sixteen year old pushed herself up, pausing when she was sat on the ground to catch her breath. How long had it been since she had eaten? The bile the was smeared on the floor and her body suggested at least a day as it was only that: bile. But the weak movements and the loud moans of her body suggested a longer period. Two days? Three? A week? She couldn't even remember the last time it had been morning.

As much as she urged her skeletal body to rise and clean this mess before Gavin came back, her mind set off signals that kept her tired, that made her want to return to her damp spot and sleep until the world's end. The struggle of mind and body brought forth the prickle of hot tears to her eyes as well as another demon that had been hibernating with her. Her logical mind shrunk to the corner as the beast within her rose, demanding space and taking it without consent. The addiction sent an ache throughout her already pained frame, ravaging her until she forced herself to slide to the charred spoon and lighter on the toilet seat. A dry sob broke from her pale, chapped lips, the sudden burst of air hurting her ribs. At the will of her addiction, she clawed at the tiles, finding traction in the sealing between them so she could pull herself easier.

Both of her arms were bruised. It hurt to even extend the left one. Despite that, she reached for the baggy of white that had drifted to the floor, dumping the remainder of its entrails onto the fake silver spoon that was now burned black. Raising the utensil, she retrieved the lighter to hold a flame beneath the spoon. As Nevada waited for the drug to bubble, tears streamed nonstop down her face until it felt as if they peeled away the fair paint that was her skin to reveal the delicate alabaster stone beneath.

Once a boil started, she replaced the lighter with a cotton ball, placing the fluff atop the liquid.

Oh, how she lusted for this euphoric syrup before her.

With an already used needle, she pressed it to the cotton and sucked up the drug. Her right arm having already been tied with a strap (she should have reeled to see that considering she could have lost that arm leaving that thing on for so long, but she was too overwhelmed with the need for heroin that she ignored it), she quickly tightened it with her teeth, focused her already dilated eyes on a stark blue vein, aimed, and fired.

Oh, how she she hated this new love of hers.