му ∂єαя, fιи∂ ωнαт уσυ ℓσνє αи∂ ℓєт ιт кιℓℓ уσυ {ρяιναтє, єєνєє}

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[size=6pt]okay wow why the hell was the thread locked//

pleASE DON'T SHOOT ME. I WOULD NOT ABANDON THIS THREAD WILLINGLY. BUT MY MUSE LEFT AND THEN I STARTED TAKING TESTS AND
Long story short I started going to three hour group therapy sessions after school every day and well whoops. also i am going to be a sophomore again for half of a semester next school year until i get 1/2 OF A FREAKING CREDIT.

I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN UNTI L THE DAY I DIE DO YOU KNOW I THINK OF THIS THREAD EVERY DAY? I JUST HAVEN'T HAD THE TIME OR ENERGY OR HAPPOINESS TO DO ANYTHING I SWEAR. If you don't want to rp with me anymore, I totally understand but I wanna pick it up since I am out for the summer. I go to Disney world in a few weeks for my sixteenth birthday, but other than that nothing important is planned.

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[size=7pt]OOC:
GOD I AM SO GLAD YOU DON'T HATE ME. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A HORRIBLE A PERSON I FEEL LIKE FOR LEAVING WITHOUT EXPLANATION?
IT WAS JUST LIKE
"nah i'mma go get starbucks."
*never returns*
but i totally was getting starbucks
and i still have to go to group therapy three times a week now. ew.

IC:
Annie's features were contorted into an expression of thought. She was infinitely grateful to have Maddie there for her, though would have understood had she just left and never returned. This family was... difficult to say the least. It was difficult to like, difficult to maintain, difficult to keep safe.

"You know, I think I'm just gonna move out," she murmured absently. She ran her fingertips across the wallpaper, a forlorn sigh emanating from the deepest depths of her now useless lungs,"start a new life under the name 'Martha' and work as a fisherwoman for the rest of my life." She paused, blinking. "Except I'm dead and more dependent on Darren than even Jesse is... But I could worry about all that later."

Annie spun on the heels of her feet to reveal the flare of panic that had been kindling there all along. "Maddie, what do you think I should do? You're smarter than me. You- You know what you're doing!"

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[size=7pt]"Maddie, I was kidding. You know I could never live on my own. I'm a teenage girl." In spite of the turbulence going on inside of her, Annie laughed. It was a flat and dry laugh, but a laugh nevertheless. She was seventeen, had no work experience, and had all of the people she had ever loved right there. The issue was that she was bound to shatter at least one person's heart and that she was terrified of doing so.

She could see it now: choosing Darren over Jesse. She could already taste the bitter conversations and uncomfortable encounters that would ensue afterwards. Or perhaps he would storm out of the house and refuse to come back? She wouldn't be able to deal without having him around.

Or maybe she would lean the other way, towards Jesse. How in the world would Darren react? She could imagine that it wouldn't be a pretty situation- especially not with how he had been acting lately. Unpredictable and actually a bit unnerving. She shuddered.

"But... What you said is right." She brought her fingers up to her lips, biting at her nails. "I have to go with my heart on things like this. And my heart- while it's not exactly beating- is telling me..." What was her heart telling her? She pressed the palm of her hand over her chest, wishing that she could feel the comfort of a heartbeat awaiting her. But there was nothing besides unforgiving stillness.

"that I love them both so much." Her eyes softened a little bit.

"But I know that I only need one of them."

In that moment, she knew.

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//I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SPENT LIKE THREE HOURS GOING BACK THROUGH OUR OLD THREAD AND COLLECTING SOME CUTE MOMENTS BETWEEN BOTH JANNIE AND DANNIE BECAUSE I LEGITIMATELY HAD NO IDEA WHO I WANTED HER TO CHOOSE. She legit used to hate Jesse's guts it's hilarious. I found a ton and they're all in the spoiler, but that's basically what's flying through Annie's head right now. xD

and now it's two in the morning and i made an 8tracks playlist for them. i need sleep. BUT THE PLAYLIST IS HERE

[size=8]Annie's eyes glinted from among the pale skin of her face. Memories moved behind their glossy green surface, and for several moments she did not reply- simply stood there in nostalgic silence.

[b]"Maddie..."[/b] She swallowed hard, unable to continue for a moment.

Annie, as it was well known throughout the household, was terrible at making up her mind. But this wasn't something she could keep putting off. This was people's emotions at her fingertips... and it hurt. It felt like she had just lit her heart on fire, but she had made up her mind. No wonder it wasn't common for her to make decisions. It hurt too damn bad.

"Maddie," she began again, this time pouring more conviction into her voice,"I think it's Jesse."

There. It was out.

"But," she continued hastily, looking back to the door as though afraid that he or his brother may have been standing there,"I don't know how I'm going to tell him. Either of them. Oh God." Her hand flew up to her forehead as though she were checking for a fever.

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I WAS GOING TO GO WITH DARREN AT FIRST. LIKE I WAS 98% POSITIVE... Buuuut then I remembered that Annie is a teenage girl and, while she may have mature moments, she doesn't have a clue what's right for her and, in most instances, is going to go with the idea that brings the most fun... Even if she claims to hate adventures and things of the likes. I got into depth on this tbh.

So she chose Jesse because she loves him, but also because he's fun, and teenage girls who have lives and minds like Annie aren't going to find the mature option to be the most enticing... Even if that mature option is who she loved first.

gOODNESS ANNIE IS SUCH AN IDIOT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH HER. I FEEL LIKE I DON'T EVEN CONTROL HER SOMETIMES?? AND JESSE TOO. I WANNA SLAP THEM BOTH AND GIVE DARREN A HUG JESUS CHRIST.

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OOC;
GOD HOW CAN I MKA E ANNIE DO THIS I AM SCARED. SHE FREKAING NEEDS DARREN ASDFGHJKL;'.

IC;
"I know." Annie breathed, nodding her agreement. Maybe she would change her mind. It was doubtful, of course, considering how difficult it was to make up her mind on anything. The fact that she had come to a conclusion was a miracle in itself.

She stared at Maddie for a second. If there was one thing she needed right then, it was a hug. Now, had she not just said what she had said, she may have gone to Darren for this. But Darren was not an option at the moment, and Maddie looked tense so she kept her distance. Instead, she mustered a smile, but it soon fell into a thoughtful frown. "I know you have to hate me sometimes," she began, shoulders slumping forward at an awkward angle,"You're the best person I've ever met though. Better than Jesse, Kelly, even Darren. And you know you don't have to stick around here to clean up after us all the time, right? I mean, it's definitely helpful... But I feel like it's wearing you out. And I don't know. I love you. You're the best friend I've ever had, and probably ever [i][i]will [/i][/i]have."

After a moment, she crinkled up her nose and cleared her throat,"Not to be, like, a sap or anything."

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Annie could sense that all was not forgiven, but there was no use in pushing the subject further. She had made up her mind, and that was that. "'Night." she echoed, stepping out into the hallway and then looking over towards the staircase. Was she ready to face either of the boys?

...Nope. Instead, she veered off into her own bedroom where she knew Lily was. She poked her head in, blinking against the shadows as she tried to make out whether or not her sister had fallen asleep. If this was the case, she didn't want to disturb her. "Hey, Lily?" she murmured softly.

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At first, Annie began to think that she was not going to get an answer. Relief soared inside of her when she heard the tiny voice replying to her. She closed the door and sprinted on the balls of her feet to slide into bed with her sister. Old habits died hard; the darkness was not fun to just meander on through, and she wasn't about to start just because she was dead.

"Hey, Lily. Aren't you sleepy? It's pretty late, y'know?" she murmured, pulling a little of the blanket up to cover herself with. She, personally, was not tired, which was a first. Her brain was buzzing with thoughts, and her body with anxious energy. She wished that she could tell her sister all about what was going on, about the relationship problems, about everything that she felt towards Jesse and Darren... But she couldn't. Lily was far too young to understand any of it, and had enough on her plate as it was. The poor kid didn't even have anybody her age to play with. It was with a heavy heart that Annie acknowledged she would likely grow up before she was supposed to, just like her big sister.

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Annie nodded, knowing full well that it was the responsible thing to do. She sucked at being responsible, but knew that she had to try as hard as she could in the presence of her sister. Darren and Maddie were decent enough influences, but they hadn't signed up for a kid. Lily was Annie's blood relative. Still, maybe she could explain it in simple terms; terms that she would understand.

"I'm better than ever now actually," she claimed, reaching over to wrap her arms around the tinier girl. "You know how I went to sleep for three days? Well, that's because Darren and Jesse didn't want anything bad to happen to me. Something as bad as going to sleep forever instead of just three days." She privately worried that nothing she was saying even made any sense. Nevertheless, she continued. "Jesse made it to where I don't ever have to do that. I'll be with you for as long as you need me... And I know you can tell we're all kinda angry at each other, but everything will be better soon. Everything is just very... very confusing when you're older."

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